Inviting her home. Is it that easy? What if it ruins it?

[razir110]

Hey everyone.
What I mean by this is: the articles in girlschase make it kinda too simple the act of inviting a girl home. I mean wouldn't it potentially ruin the whole thing? Example: we are having one of those funny, cocky talks, she is touching me, giving me green light signals and I just tell her "come with me to a secret place " bla bla at her year. Wouldn't it break the deal? Wouldn't she think "oh here we go again, one more trying to fuck me." I guess Chase is the one who wrote like "inviting her home has to look as a natural par of the program of the date" Come on... The girl perfectly understands that you don't want to show her your new CD or living room decor. She knows u want to sleep with her.
Don't you think that a kiss is a MUST before you make such a move? After making out it's DEFINITELY ok to ask her to come to your place, but without it?..
Another reason why I am asking this is that I live in an islamic country, so kissing is forbidden in public places, so I usually feel kinda nervous to invite the girl to my place without the kiss. I mean even asking her to leave the place with me already smells like "i am taking you to bed" I also don't know what culture are the articles based on, but here I date girls of all nationalities, so would you say that inviting her home during that tense sexual moment between the two of you is ok? Or it would be sort of skipping the kiss part that for me is essential?
Please let me hear your opinions on this. Thankz!

 

[PinotNoir]

That's why it's important to pre-game her upcoming game in a way.

Laowai sent me his LR recently, and it's great. He calls them "LMR inocculators". LMR=last-minute resistance. I don't know if "LMR inocculators" is a common PUA phrase or one he made up. Here's the LR:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1518

If you read it, he pre-games the girl by knocking down walls that may arise:

• I'm not judgmental about sex or women that like sex (i.e., they are not sluts)
• I'm not going to dump you the next day after sex
• I love women and don't view women as lesser creatures (i.e., not a "pig")

You pre-game these by bringing up your own stories like he did, stories about others, or commenting on her stories appropriately ("I would never do that to a woman").

Lastly, you want something interesting in your place -- a reason for her to come over. I think in some of Chase's articles he recommends a pool table or just making up a party. It doesn't really matter. Again, I think you want to pre-game this as well. If she talks about something interesting at her place or yours, use it to your advantage. "Oh, you have that musical instrument at your place! I'd love to see it sometime." "Oh, you've been wanting to watch that movie? I actually have that movie back at my place on Netflix."

And, if she does bring up "OMG, you just want me to come back for sex!", that's actually what I would consider a social faux pas, and I bet most women won't do it. They'll just say, "No, I'm too tired." At least, the women that have turned me down usually say something like that. If she says "you just want me for sex!" then it's actually either flirtation or social inexperience. You can either say "No! You're the one thinking about SEX with me! I just want to watch a movie" or "Watching a movie is sex nowadays? My GOD, what kind of crazy sex positions are you into!" Just roll with it. As long as you didn't specifically ask for sex, then you can't be blamed directly.

Make sex frames so that she's the naughty one and not you.

If you feel a very strong connection, you may get away with, "I don't plan the future. Let's just go enjoy an adventure playing pool at my place and see where the night leads." Just tell her something vague like, "I have this really amazing thing you must see back at my place!" If she asks where it is when you arrive, just pull out something dumb and make a joke about it. Then kiss her.

 

[PrettyDecent]

^ That. Excellent response.

 

[NarrowJ]

The LMR inocculators are golden. I use all of them, and then inviting her back for something so trivial as a movie just seems natural to her. More importantly, build the connection. That's step one.

On a date last week I tried out something that Ross had mentioned, the "Barrier". You tell her you'd like to invite her over, but there's some reason why it can't happen. This also makes her chase, because she will try to break the barrier and find a way for it to happen otherwise. In my case, I told her "I'd love to invite you back to my place for a movie, but I know it's kind of late and you have a 30 minute drive home". She instantly started shooting holes in it, like "it's not really THAT late" and "Oh, I can make that drive faster than 30 minutes!" and so I was just like oh ok well come on by just for a minute. I think this only works if she is heavy into you though. It's also a bit of a push/pull, because you're telling her you'd like to continue the date, but "hey it's that and this so I don't really know, not sure..."

NJ

 

[razir110]

Thank you for your opinions!

 

[razir110]

Ok, I read the post that has the report. The thing is, it seems to me that that kind of talk may put you in the potential prospect boyfriend/mr nice guy category? Or am I missing the point here?

 

[PinotNoir]

Ok, I read the post that has the report. The thing is, it seems to me that that kind of talk may put you in the potential prospect boyfriend/mr nice guy category? Or am I missing the point here?

I'm not quite sure on that one. I don't think it will. NJ or PD may have a better answer for that.

My opinion is that it's all about tone and eye contact in that case. A sexy man can say anything and still not be slotted in the "nice guy" (friend zone) category, or you may be able to do it subtly with 1 added word:

Mr. Nice Guy:
Quickly answers as fast as he can -- high energy and nervous.
"I would never do that! OMG!"

Mr. Smooth:
Lingers on his words a bit and holds eye contact while pressing his lips slightly together.
"I would never... need to do that..."

Just by changing your body language and by adding 1 or 2 words, you can make a dramatically different effect. With Mr. Smooth, she may think, "Why does he not need to do it? Girls must just get dripping wet with him, so he never needs to do that (whatever that is)."

GC has helped me with this. You want to think about the whole package. It doesn't matter if you have the 100% EXACT words to say... if you don't say it calm and instead say it frantically, then it doesn't help -- no matter what words you use.

Extreme example with guy about to jump from a roof top:

Friend #1:
Running around and screaming. "OMG! You have so much to live for! Think of your kids and your parents! Ah!"

Friend #2:
"If you jump... you'll stain your clothes with blood, and those are some smooth threads, my friend. If you're going to jump, at least come down and change clothes."

This may be a bad example, but I can still see how if said smoothly, Friend #2 may be a lot more calming and assuring than Friend #1, but his words look terrible. Focus on mood and being calm and sexy and slowing down movements. Don't worry, just know that she'll be okay with it.

 

[Estate]

I can only give my thoughts but I know everyone doesn't agree.

If you're asking "Is it that hard to just take her home", then in my recent experience... no it's not hard at all to do.
If you ask her to come, or try to rationalize it to her, it can get awkwards and she might have second thoughts... if you just lead the date there, women are usually ok with it.

The flip side is... of course you COULD lose her by pushing too fast, so you weight up the risk vs. reward. If you push this fast you CAN get her but you are also willing to lose her if it doesn't come off.

Whether you WANT to do it, is a point I have argued here recently. In my experience, whether you WANT to push that fast depends on what you want from the girl. If you want to just take her home for sex, go for it, what have you to lose.
If you want a relationship, then it CAN backfire by moving too fast. At least that's my experience, but a lot of the guys here have made it work for them so there is another side to the game AFTER you have taken her home and want to see her again and this takes some mastering too.