I'm wondering now if I should also push myself to go for direct approaches. Is it necessary?
Interesting overall discussion, including the articles.
To start out - there's infinite ways to pull chicks. 50% of the sex equation is necessarily on her end - and we don't know her motivations, she might not know.
- If you've had a long term GF, a chick can hit part of her cycle where she wants to get real kinky. That has nothing to do with her BF.
- her motivation might be biological in nature
- her disgust might also be biological in nature
- Sometimes you run into a chick that is trying to make her BF mad.
- Othertimes, chicks will bang just because they want the closeness at the end.
- Sometimes it's her birthday.
To answer the question directly -
guys that are learning should do a lot of direct approaches
Why?
- Getting over general approach anxiety.
- the most important part of the game
- Getting over the "reveal" of sexual intent.
- the 2nd most important part of the game
- a man needs to accept his own sexuality, his own status as a sexual being, his own animal/primal nature
- this being okay with sex - makes it easier to escalate
- verbal escalation - flirting
- logistical escalation - moving the chick from place to place - in the venue, to his own housing...
- touch escalation - the beginning of the actual seduction process.
- Getting a baseline of your general "sexual appeal"/"sexual market value" - by putting chicks on the spot and getting real results - he's got a better sense of how girls feel about him when they make snap judgments. (Most guys find out real quick that they aren't male models...lol)
To define a direct approach
- Look the best you can (diet and exercise, grooming and fashion, etc)
- Eye contact
- Step Up
- Good Body language
- First words are something about her, be it a compliment, or liking something that's visual about her.
- Offer Up the Name
- How Are You? What are you doing here?
- Possibly a joke?
- Assumption of attraction
- Social Media/Phone Number/Instant date
- If contact information - the above sequence is memorable and enjoyable enough that she wants to go out on a date within the next 24-48 hours.
The actions, the words said, and the intent behind the words are all congruent. There's no mystery. The guy is 100% who he says he is, he 100% wants what he wants.
There's a whole book about this called "Mode 1". The promise/premise of the book is that if guys are more honest about their needs and desires - they can get them met. In reality, it's absolute BS. Chicks don't "reward guys with sex" for being honest. Honesty doesn't put her in the mood. Being VERBALLY frank about one's desires tends to turn women off. They prefer non-verbals more often than not.
In my experience -
being direct and upfront sometimes "works" - but there's not a lot of "game" or "finesse" involved. A guy is just being straight up about his interest - the girl just so happens to like what she sees and how he makes her feel. She's able to come to a relatively quick conclusion, and has enough "agency" to go through with an instant date or a later date. So it works to get him the date, get him the hook up - but he's not learning "pick up". And honestly a lot of guys don't need to learn "pick up" - because what they want is the courage to approach and bag chicks they find attractive. Putting a chick through the psychological gauntlet of pick up is just overkill.
The real magic here is not that she's attracted or aroused. It's that
the strong attraction and arousal sustains itself and she's able to act on it.
To get to some of the bigger discussion...
In defining an 1) indirect approach, 2) vs delayed direct, or 3) indirect words but direct vibes/action body language
Lemme define some terms.
Delayed Direct -
Hey could you tell me how to get to Houston street...I don't need directions, I just needed a reason to stop you and say you look cute, hi my name is West Indian Archie...
I used to see a lot of this stuff on Youtube. I think most of these guys left the scene or got banned.
But this is not indirect to me - it's at best humorous lying. I've always thought this was bad game, and I pretty much discount whatever a coach says if they use this type of game. It shows just a complete lack of human understanding.
Does it work on impressionable 18 year old tourists that are flattered to get some attention from a man?
I guess.
The thing is - what this "delayed direct" gets at - is that the guy needs a socially acceptable reason to talk to a random stranger for the purpose of romance. He needs to give himself a reason, and her a reason.....or does he?
There's a bigger issue here.
Indirect in words by Pretty Damn Direct in Vibes/Tone/Body Language
Joey from Friends explains it perfectly.
Cued up.
It's plausibly deniable when it comes to the actual words.
But we know, and she knows, what he actually means.
He might as well say, "Nice rack, What's your name?" - because the vibe is straight up sexual.
Lots of guys do this. Lots of guys are successful with this.
It's just overall a good approach - provided that you're congruent with your words. (Not only do you look the part, but you act the part 24/7, not just pretending to be a macho and assertive for this one moment)
And this is something a guy should practice as well.
Indirect - I still sarge to the oldies with this one - but imo an indirect approach is not really about words - but her getting exposed to your stimuli (verbals, nonverbals, actions, non-actions, reactions, etc) - and then making herself available to you, and finding ways to help you. (her way of saying, I like you, without her saying "I think you're cute and want to sleep with you" - which happens, but doesn't regularly happen)
Indirect is really just the wrong word for indirect game. She's drawn to you.
Direct game be it verbal direct or nonverbal direct
is sales.
Nonverbal direct game is actually better imo. Not because it's more honest, but because it basically pings primal desires - instead of activating "autoscripts"....but I digress.
Stopping someone on the street to sell them a vegetable chopper is sales.
Introducing a product to a market is advertising, but it's not sales.
Just making someone aware of something - can sell that something. (honey roasted almonds being sold on the street - the smell alone hits the limbic system)
The thing can sell itself.
Sometimes there's some prospective customer
education that's involved.
Getting someone to experience something, to try it, and not just see it - can make them instantly want it.
Let's call that soft selling to get real pedantic about it.
90% of the energy should be coming from the prospect.
^ and that's how I think about indirect game.
Indirect game IS NOT HARD SELLING.
I honestly believe that classic era of indirect game is about this as well. The guys are so captivating that the chick is being seduced, she is seducing herself, she is selling herself. She is imagining something beyond what the guys are doing and saying.
Part of the sexy stereotype is wearing the costume of a cool guy - and letting the chick imagine what that means for her. The romance of being with a biker or a top drug dealer is very different from the reality of it - still females love it. ...
Once the chick wants more from the guy, she needs to cooperate with the guy to get more. In that process, the player makes things easy for her to get what she wants. She is hitting the gas, but he's controlling the steering wheel and the brakes.
In practice/in the real world this ain't easy.
With indirect game, with "NOT SELLING", with a more marketing/advertising/"soft" approach
- Some guys can't create the atmosphere
- they don't get it
- they don't know how to do it
- they don't practice til they get good at it
- they will forego the practice, to get the bang - thus can never learn
- Some chicks don't get the draw, don't get what you're doing
- Some chicks do get what you're doing, don't "fall for it", but just play along
- Sometimes there's no conversion at all just screening - so the hook up happens despite the game.
Applying this advertising/marketing approach is doable in the night game and social circle. (Passport Game and Social Media/Dating App game not so much)
Can someone stop a chick while she's shopping
during the day, start an interaction with her, and get her to chase him - without giving compliments, without being non-verbally sexual/seductive?
Yes. But...
What's missing is the "reason" - from his end, from her end - why is he talking to her, telling a story, to some random stranger.
What's missing is the "time" - she is doing something and probably going somewhere. Unlike night game.
That's what makes it difficult.
Do people do it? Yes.
Is it easy? No.
Is it as straightforward as night game? No
Anyway, those are my thoughts on it.
