Hello people. There is this girl we've been on a together in a friend-ish way. At first she was paying attention to me and i was like 'meh, okay' and i did nothing to escalate it. We occasionally talked when we run into each other, and then it turned out that we have really similar tastes and passions in life. So it became something like going out to movies together, having lunches and coffees, it's like, when we dated, we had spent 5-6 hours without getting bored. I thought she liked me and i grow to like her. I thought that she was dropping both sexual hints and hints that we should be together, but i wasnt responding well i guess. I was in another city for a month, hooking up with other women but i always thought like 'yeah i may have something meaningful and beautiful when i get back home', i was thinking about her time to time. So when i got back, i just told her how i felt after a long date. She seemed surprised and she was smiling, and said she's just shocked and cant answer right there and then. So i gave her time. And i waited, waited and waited, and we texted a couple times and after all this crap, i just said her online that i want an answer, why she didnt answer i felt bad about it and bla bla bla. She said she didn't want to break my heart but it's IMPOSSIBLE for her to see me that way and she cared me about really much but NEVER in that way. And she said 'sometimes you see a person that way and sometimes you just don't'. And i said, okay then, let's be friends. And she invited me for coffee with a mutual friend who is a dude. But it's been a week after she told me we gonna meet and i don't text her, she doesn't text me. I read one member of some site's experience which is similar to mine, and he happened to be with the girl after doing stuff like pulling back. What should i do? I really like her and i can really see us as a couple, but i don't intend to pursue her too much because i lived through such bad stuff for years and i just don't have the energy. But maybe she has feelings for me and she's just afraid. I don't know. What do you suggest, what should i do? I'm looking for other women to be with. And what if i just unfriend her on facebook?
Is it a FUBAR kind of situation or is it reversible?
- Thread starter slinky71
- Start date
Smith said:
Yeah probably you're right. I didnt want to tell her before i go because if we had a relationship, my trip to another city with full of hot women would kill the relationship
And now there's not even a relationship. But that was a really important lesson for me, i experienced that if you're not moving forward fast, you're not moving at all. When i read that on the site it just hit me and thats why i want to learn from these people here. She still hasn't called or texted me because she's hiding behind the excuse of being so busy (yet can spend hours on facebook) and i'll probably drop her off as a friend. She thinks she has so many friends so i dont matter, i guess. Trying not to be bitter tho Anyway thanks for answering friend and i hope i find girls like that and bed 'em quick Here is my first post, I might be blind leading the blind but I'll weigh in.
I think it's important that you build a lot of space but don't drop off the radar that you effectively close the relationship this imbalanced. You need to rebalance the relationship to where she's chasing you, investing, and not reinforcing her non-sexual feeling. I.e non-needy, no putting her on a pedestal, infact, you almost want to reverse friend zone her as if she's not socially/sexually at your level. Read up on fundamentals and the myriad of social skills around getting investment and navigating tests/etc. Stop white knighting but do it in a way that just shows more dignity for yourself. Don't be mean or stop being nice in a petty way. Just replace your over investment habits with ones that result in her carrying her own weight and eventually investing in you. You have to lead socially and earn her interest without looking like you're trying. This site is full of good info on this. It's easy to evolve socially but it's always more rewarding than chasing a girl. When you chase and try to be too awesome, you can easily set a precedent you can't or won't want to maintain. You need to get yourself on an even playing field
P
I think it's important that you build a lot of space but don't drop off the radar that you effectively close the relationship this imbalanced. You need to rebalance the relationship to where she's chasing you, investing, and not reinforcing her non-sexual feeling. I.e non-needy, no putting her on a pedestal, infact, you almost want to reverse friend zone her as if she's not socially/sexually at your level. Read up on fundamentals and the myriad of social skills around getting investment and navigating tests/etc. Stop white knighting but do it in a way that just shows more dignity for yourself. Don't be mean or stop being nice in a petty way. Just replace your over investment habits with ones that result in her carrying her own weight and eventually investing in you. You have to lead socially and earn her interest without looking like you're trying. This site is full of good info on this. It's easy to evolve socially but it's always more rewarding than chasing a girl. When you chase and try to be too awesome, you can easily set a precedent you can't or won't want to maintain. You need to get yourself on an even playing field
P
Parkour said:
Yeah thanks for the advice. I think she's either bitch-testing me or she has someone else in her life and i don't matter anymore, neither as a friend nor lover/bf potential. I know she's going through a lot but that's not an excuse to being this flakey. I never contacted her and she didn't contact me yet. It's about to be 2 weeks. And i'm going to a party which is thrown at one of her favourite places, so i'm a little concerned about what would happen if i see her, especially with someone else. What should i do in such situation? Besides trying to pick up other chicks?