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Is it a good idea to meet my girlfriend's ex

Thulani96

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Sep 4, 2018
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I recently got hold of my girlfriend's ex . She tells me she never had sex with him , but I'm not sure . I want to get the truth out so , I asked her ex to meet me up . She doesent know about my plan to meet him but I'm just not sure if it's a good idea. Is it ?
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
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Thulani96 said:
I recently got hold of my girlfriend's ex . She tells me she never had sex with him , but I'm not sure . I want to get the truth out so , I asked her ex to meet me up . She doesent know about my plan to meet him but I'm just not sure if it's a good idea. Is it ?

First off:
No, absolutely not. It doesn't do anything for you.

Secondly:
Why? Why does it matter if she had sex with him or not in the past?

Unless you're wanting to know if she cheated on you? And even then it's still not a good idea.

For one, what if he see's this as his chance to get her back or spite her and talk about how he [didn't] wreck her asshole just yesterday?

For two, you don't know this guy and why would he talk to you about his personal life?

And three, again, what's to stop him from lying to you. Either a sweet lie to save your feelings or a crappy one to demolish them?


There isn't any upside that I see here.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Sep 21, 2016
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With Regal here.

She tells me she never had sex with him , but I'm not sure .
Even if it was a lie, she would have been lying in order to increase her chances of staying with you by making you think she's lower partner count (higher quality) and/or she found very good reason to sleep with and stay with you (security in your connection).

Or, she wasn't lying and you should trust her.


Either way, unless there's a reason you haven't mentioned as to why you should meet him, you're most likely not helping yourself by doing so - especially if it's only to ask him if he's fucked her. If your girl got word of that she might assume you don't trust her (which can cut some people pretty deep) and ultimately harm your relationship.

If you two are into each other it's much healthier to just focus on your present situation with her, rather than spend time and energy digging up the past.


Hue
 

Thulani96

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Sep 4, 2018
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Why? Why does it matter if she had sex with him or not in the past?

I knew about their relationship before I started sleeping with her , even when she was in that relationship she said nothing happened between him and her (no sex, only kissing) .I stole this girl away from him , I fucked her and got her to break up with him , which she couldn't do before I fucked her.

I've kind of really been into this girl , to me taking her to bed was an accomplishment , I invested quite a lot of time. It was kind of like a competition with the other guy.

Really I just want to know if I fucked her before he could , lol I'm sorry it's just something to do with my ego .
 

Thulani96

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 4, 2018
Messages
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by making you think she's lower partner count (higher quality) and/or she found very good reason to sleep with and stay with you (security in your connection).

That's exactly what I don't understand and I need some light shed on this point . This guy loved her and was caring enough, and she loved him back (until I slept with her) . Even after she broke up with him , he continued calling her and trying to be friends .

On their connection compared to mine and hers , well she did say he wasn't very expressive verbally , he was reserved and unreactive . But that doesent justify leaving him for me , does it?

It's not like I'm rich or anything , so why could she have left him ?
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Like I already pointed out, if you're with her you shouldn't be worrying about any of this shit because other than bettering yourself as an attractive, dominant man that provides good emotions and great sex there's nothing you can do to control the situation.

So these questions about why she's with you or why you're the better option don't matter. You're with her, you're doing something right. Keep improving yourself and moving forward. The only utility that comes from looking at her past relationship is to understand where the other guy fucked up so that you don't do it - and if you two develop your relationship then you should get to the point where that can be talked about when you feel she is ready to tell you (but I wouldn't force that conversation).

The more time you spend analyzing her past relationship with her ex the more power you give to it, and in your situation why would you want to do that?
 
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