Is it all a game?

[Dylweed]

I just read this article and although it is about females it seems to apply to guys as well (Also interesting reading it because ive exeperienced all 3 different kinds of women it talks about, although thats a different subject that what im trying to discuss)

Here it is
http://elitedaily.com/dating/woman-no-game-try/1314657/

It made me think about myself and for the first 20 years of my life, I never tried with women. I was so afraid of rejection that i never gave them a chance. I never once went for what i wanted and i denied every girl who ever wanted me, even some hot ones (I had a lot of regret of that for a while).

Then i found this website and started playing a game and going for what i wanted. I still didn't have any success however I wasn't approaching nearly enough girls. Was mostly just going on dates with girls from work.

However i then got into meditation and spirituality and i started being genuine and authentic while still going for what i wanted because i really started to love my high energy self and hearing the things id say. This is when i really started mass cold approaching doing day game and night game. I could be myself and if i was in a good mood (sometimes id be in a super great mood, couldn't be happier) some girls would love me. And if they didn't i didn't care at all, i still loved them. I had no game, during the day I'd just open direct with a compliment to let them know why i was there and then i'd just freestyle it all from there and do exactly what i wanted to do, completely natural and having tons of fun, cracking jokes. And it seemed to work, id build tons of attraction and theyd agree to dates and give me their phone numbers. Even texting i started just being myself, not waiting to reply or doing anything like that because to me that seemed inauthentic and i didn't like it. I figured that i know if im being needy and that if im not i can do whatever i want and if she doesn't like me, ill get a different girl.

Basically what im getting at here is, are there guys who are successful with girls who now don't play a game at all anymore? They can just do whatever they want and everything will work out perfect? Or do you always have to be playing a game? I know being yourself is bad advice to a noobie because they have to change, but after they implement new behaviors can they now do them naturally without thinking about them and stop playing a game? Or does the game always have to be played to a degree?

 

[Drck]

Interesting article.

But what is "game"? Game can be defined in many different ways... Even the girl who is just trying (without having a game) does have a certain game... game of trying...

Think about learning something little bit more complex, say typing with all ten fingers. Let's compare typing to "the game". It takes you some time to learn or memorize which key to press and when. Each finger presses only certain keys on the keyboard. The same with the game...

As the time goes you no longer learn new typing skills, you are simply just typing. You are typing different words and sentences. You are getting more and more proficient, more faster and accurate. You no longer think about where is each key, now you are thinking about different things, ideas, different ways to express yourself... The same with the game....

The more you type the more proficient you will become. The less you type, the more you have to think about which key to press... Same with the game - the more you know it the more proficient you are, it becomes your second nature like typing. The less you know it, the more you have to think about it, what is what and where, which key to press and when...


... So you are basically asking whether everything will work out perfectly... It is like asking whether each word that you'll ever type will be spelled correctly, whether you will never make any mistakes... That's impossible, we are humans, not robots...

... You are also asking whether each sentence that you type is a perfect sentence. Well, sometimes it can be a great sentence - but the reader is just not tuned to the topics that you are describing, so no matter how good you are, he or she may not appreciate you anyway... Same with the game, no matter how good you are, there are always girls who simply won't care...

Not to make it so simple - human behavior, i.e. dealing with other people (esp. girls) is much more complex than typing. There is always different ways to express yourself with words on paper, and with behavior towards people...

Also, are you a great typer once you learn to type really fast and accurate? Sure, you could be, why not. The same way, you could be a guy with great game too. But are you a good writer...?? That is, are you a good, true person - or are you just faking your personality, hiding it behind playing "the game"...?? That's probably much more important than just typing fast...

Being a good typer and good writer are two different things... You could be a great writer (person) with miserable typing skills (poor game, no game at all), and vice versa...



See the complexity? You are the game, the game is your life... Are you just 'playing' it - or is this your life...??

 

[Dylweed]

Interesting response, thanks man. Using your analogy, being a good writer and good person isn't something you can fake, but having good typing skills or outer game will help and those skills can be learned and if rehearsed enough they will become second nature?

 

[Drck]

Yes. Game is a skill, like any other skill. The more you do it the less you have to think about it.

Think about other skills such as walking. Walking is quite complex movement, it requires coordination of hundreds of nerves, muscles, keeping balance,... It takes quite time for a child to become stable on his feet and walk independently. The child falls many times, sometime it hurts and he cries, but he never thinks about the failures - he just keeps going till he can walk... He doesn't even consider failure as an option, there is no stopping, he simply goes after what he wants and never stops. The concept of "Failure" doesn't even exist in his mind... Think about it, it's a brilliant strategy, most adults can't learn new things anymore as they are rather obsessed about "failure"....

As we walk very day for some time, do we think today about walking? Probably not, we just walk without even thinking about it...

Game in essence is just a set of certain behaviors. We can learn these behaviors, and by constant repetition they become part of our personality. You will do lots of things automatically, without even thinking about it.

 

[Lotus]

I like Drck's analogy, most of the "gamey" things you learn become habits that you don't think twice about... texting included.

It's also important to remember why the game is played. Game, is a screening process to find the most suitable mate. Being good at game is a way of communicating to the opposite sex that you are in fact suitable for reproduction.

A large part of game is just understanding and accepting that.... knowing the rules. If you don't like that it feels like a game choose to look at it from another lens, that's it's just a screening process to enable to to find a girl that fits you.

Even texting i started just being myself, not waiting to reply or doing anything like that because to me that seemed inauthentic and i didn't like it.

Just remember what texting communicates non-neediness and that you aren't necessarily as busy as a man who takes longer to text. When I started I felt the same way about texting but as I have continued to strive towards being a more attractive man I have also become busy and don't have time to text as much.

As you and date higher quality women the screening processes get tougher and tougher so things like adequate texting game become more important.

-Lotus