Is it different escalating at her place?

[raysidney]

Is escalating at her place any different than at mine?

I met a girl for a first date (met her on okcupid) at a quiet bar last Saturday evening and casually asked her midway through the date to go back to her place so she could 'show" me the sunroom she mentioned she had in her apartment. She was telling me how it had an amazing view. Without much thinking, she said sure and we continued the conversation as if nothing happened. We left for her apartment about 1.5 hours into our date and she seemed into me. I was giving her slight touches, teasing her (but not overdoing it), and deepdiving into her darkest secrets. Once we got to her place, five or so minutes in I kissed her when she was showing me the sunroom. She kissed back but ended it after 5 or 10 seconds. I continued conversation like nothing happened, and tried again, but again she wasn't really into it. Later we were sitting on her couch, I tried a third time, and she "hinted" that I exit and get rest at my own apartment (I had a 5k the next morning).

I tried to persist kissing her, but I don't think it mattered. I'm confused since she let me into her place. Have you encountered this before? I was thinking that maybe since it was her place that I should have let her be in a little control since I was the guest, but I always think confidence is key.

 

[Dude909]

Nah, no difference between her place, your place, or your aunt's dentist place. Seems like the sexual tension wasn't there. Was she very young? Most women know better than to let a guy into their home when they haven't decided they want to bang him. Maybe you said something stupid that turned her off. Maybe too much pull. I tend to keep kino at minimal/zero when isolated to keep sexual tension building up, but that's just me.

 

[raysidney]

Thanks for your reply.

Yup, she's young. She is 23, just graduated from college, and also grew up her whole life China (apart from college in the U.S.). The girl had a tattoo and a fiery personality (more liberal maybe) so I figured she had an idea we would at minimum fool around. Looking back I'm sure that I didn't say anything stupid and that the sexual tension probably wasn't there. In retrospect, maybe I should I have just ended the date early that night, and invited her for dinner for a second date. I was giving her slight touches here and there - at the bar and on the 5 min walk to her apartment - but I didn't do any kino at her place. I first kissed her when we were standing by her sunroom window view. Any advice that works well for you to get the sexual tension going?

 

[Dude909]

Yeah, the "trick" is to get yourself in a horny state, for example by looking at her lips and tits and imagining the dirty stuff you will do to her, all the while fluffing as if you were just having a casual conversation. Dropping an innuendo or two and some slightly adventurous kino also help. These send her all kind of invisible sexual vibes that will at best turn her on, at worst let her understand what's going to happen and decide if she wants to let the wolf in. Win win as if she decides she's not up for it you don't waste your evening combating LMR and going back home blue balled.