I've been practicing game for almost a year now, and while I've actually had a good deal of success, I'm starting to be worried by the mounting number of embarrassing stories in my mind. If I've had a dozen or so success stories, it feels like I have a hundred cringe-worthy nightmares -- times I missed obvious opportunities, made a fool of myself, or just got bamboozled. Am I just really bad at this? Even if I am, I have no intention of stopping, since I am constantly getting better, but I was wondering if any of you could relate.
Is it normal to fuck up a lot trying to learn this stuff?
- Thread starter metalbird
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- Dec 20, 2012
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If your learning anything. You learn from experience. If you learn to drive a car then expect to be nervous and make mistakes until it becomes more natural.
Main thing is to learn something from what you do. If something that happened was cringe worthy, try to understand why and learn from it than repeat it. Like if something you did or said or that happened felt awkward or not like who you are, or just not appropriate then don't beat yourself up. Just gain a lesson by trying to understand why what happened or what you did wasn't right in that moment and try to act more like yourself next time.
In the end this boils down to dating and meeting the opposite sex. There's always awkward moments and strange moments that happen, emotions get involved, people don't know what to do or say. It's normal. Just keep learning from mistakes rather than repeating them.
In the end nobody is perfect or smooth 100%. I'm much happier in my dating life these days and a lot of it comes from acting more natural than trying to employ some tactic. Just relax. What this site helped me learn was the reason WHY things happen how they do. Like if a girl isn't into me or something went wrong and I didn't understand why. This site breaks down the psychology behind many things.
Main thing is to learn something from what you do. If something that happened was cringe worthy, try to understand why and learn from it than repeat it. Like if something you did or said or that happened felt awkward or not like who you are, or just not appropriate then don't beat yourself up. Just gain a lesson by trying to understand why what happened or what you did wasn't right in that moment and try to act more like yourself next time.
In the end this boils down to dating and meeting the opposite sex. There's always awkward moments and strange moments that happen, emotions get involved, people don't know what to do or say. It's normal. Just keep learning from mistakes rather than repeating them.
In the end nobody is perfect or smooth 100%. I'm much happier in my dating life these days and a lot of it comes from acting more natural than trying to employ some tactic. Just relax. What this site helped me learn was the reason WHY things happen how they do. Like if a girl isn't into me or something went wrong and I didn't understand why. This site breaks down the psychology behind many things.
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2013
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Yeah man focus on the successes and seek to continually iron out the kinks. Over time you'll refine yourself further and further but probably will always have awkward moments or times you drop the ball. Idea is that after a while you should be dropping the ball in different ways than you currently are.
I made so many stupid mistakes learning this stuff. I can think of many cringeworthy and embarrassing situations I put myself into. All in the name of experience. No one really gets good at anything without making lots of mistakes. There's no shortcut if you really want to be great. Granted, all of this info is not one-size-fits-all so if something doesn't quite suit you, you might have a different style. But really for the most part this info is spot on and you're better off erring on the side of more active in trying this stuff and learn to pull back. Happy hunting. It took me like 5 years to really get to a place I'm confident I can close consistently when the opportunity arises
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
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- 183
I found Girlschase about a month after I broke up with my ex back in October, I started reading articles but didn't really go out and start approaching till December (and even then it was sporadic and 4-5 a week all together).
I think now I've been out with 60-70+ new women (like on dates), probably more to be honest, I've got 100's of numbers, like we're talking probably close to 600-700 (a variation of OKcupid, POF, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Nightgame at least once a week sometimes more, and some light Daygame spread in there).
I have slept with 8 of these girls (I really need to writeup my new LR'S), made out with/got action with 10-15 that didn't turn into anything; but a large majority didn't even bother texting me back after the first date. I have tons of embarrassing stories and a fuck ton of screwups, missed opportunities, girls that I continuously went out with and I thought liked me that just randomly became unresponsive etc.
The most important thing GC and the "Game" has taught me is that it doesn't really matter in the end, we're just working on ourselves and becoming better everyday.
I now know that even though I'm still a beginner comparatively to most of the guys here; I can reasonably be sure that I can continuously meet new women whenever I need too, I don't get as anxious around them and I'm having a lot more fun!
In the words of William Gupta: "This will be the most painful, heartbreaking journey of your life" Thing is though we're building emotional armor that other guys will never have.
So yes I can absolutely relate bro
, it gets better; it's painful as fuck and I think "I must be the worst guy with women" on a regular basis; but it gets better and I know that.
I think now I've been out with 60-70+ new women (like on dates), probably more to be honest, I've got 100's of numbers, like we're talking probably close to 600-700 (a variation of OKcupid, POF, Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Nightgame at least once a week sometimes more, and some light Daygame spread in there).
I have slept with 8 of these girls (I really need to writeup my new LR'S), made out with/got action with 10-15 that didn't turn into anything; but a large majority didn't even bother texting me back after the first date. I have tons of embarrassing stories and a fuck ton of screwups, missed opportunities, girls that I continuously went out with and I thought liked me that just randomly became unresponsive etc.
The most important thing GC and the "Game" has taught me is that it doesn't really matter in the end, we're just working on ourselves and becoming better everyday.
I now know that even though I'm still a beginner comparatively to most of the guys here; I can reasonably be sure that I can continuously meet new women whenever I need too, I don't get as anxious around them and I'm having a lot more fun!
In the words of William Gupta: "This will be the most painful, heartbreaking journey of your life" Thing is though we're building emotional armor that other guys will never have.
So yes I can absolutely relate bro
, it gets better; it's painful as fuck and I think "I must be the worst guy with women" on a regular basis; but it gets better and I know that.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,456
metalbird-
Just to add another voice to everyone else sharing their own stories... oh yeah. Part and parcel with the whole thing.
Really, with learning anything. I suppose there are some guys with natural ability or great luck who kick off and they're getting results from Day 1 and the results keep pouring in and they never deal with any major issues. I've known a few guys with that trajectory... first time they went out they got laid and they hardly had any problems after that.
Usually though, you get banged around a lot, usually through your own knuckleheaded moves or missed opportunities. The best thing about my first year of really actively approaching girls in my opinion is all the hilarious war stories and battle scars I got out of it. Girls ditching me, girls coming onto me whom I was too caught up thinking, "Wait, we're not at this stage of the pickup yet!" to do anything about, over-teasing girls who liked me and pushing them needlessly into auto-rejection. I winged my buddy on a couple of cougars, watched him not pick up their signals that they wanted to go home and shag, followed him to the bathroom to tell him, "Dude, let's just get these two out of here," only for one of them to think both guys leaving meant they were about to get ditched and they flipped the heck out on us. I dropped the ball on pulls where I literally just had to slip a girl's panties to the side and stick it in, or escalations where the girl wanted me but I took LMR too seriously, and ruined both my lays and my buddy's lays with the girls' friends in the other room/bed.
All that stuff just teaches you lessons. And you get a bunch of funny stories you can tell your buddies later on, about how you messed up with this girl you never should've messed up with, or the crazy stuff that happened with this chick or that chick, etc. Any friend who's piled up his successes with girls will have plenty of these tales to share in return... just goes with the territory.
Got to strike out a lot if you want to hit a lot of home runs. It's just a part of the process.
Chase
Just to add another voice to everyone else sharing their own stories... oh yeah. Part and parcel with the whole thing.
Really, with learning anything. I suppose there are some guys with natural ability or great luck who kick off and they're getting results from Day 1 and the results keep pouring in and they never deal with any major issues. I've known a few guys with that trajectory... first time they went out they got laid and they hardly had any problems after that.
Usually though, you get banged around a lot, usually through your own knuckleheaded moves or missed opportunities. The best thing about my first year of really actively approaching girls in my opinion is all the hilarious war stories and battle scars I got out of it. Girls ditching me, girls coming onto me whom I was too caught up thinking, "Wait, we're not at this stage of the pickup yet!" to do anything about, over-teasing girls who liked me and pushing them needlessly into auto-rejection. I winged my buddy on a couple of cougars, watched him not pick up their signals that they wanted to go home and shag, followed him to the bathroom to tell him, "Dude, let's just get these two out of here," only for one of them to think both guys leaving meant they were about to get ditched and they flipped the heck out on us. I dropped the ball on pulls where I literally just had to slip a girl's panties to the side and stick it in, or escalations where the girl wanted me but I took LMR too seriously, and ruined both my lays and my buddy's lays with the girls' friends in the other room/bed.
All that stuff just teaches you lessons. And you get a bunch of funny stories you can tell your buddies later on, about how you messed up with this girl you never should've messed up with, or the crazy stuff that happened with this chick or that chick, etc. Any friend who's piled up his successes with girls will have plenty of these tales to share in return... just goes with the territory.
Got to strike out a lot if you want to hit a lot of home runs. It's just a part of the process.
Chase