Is it Really that hard to unfriendzone oneself in this situation

[pks391]

What if a girl considers you a friend, but she still touches your hands
lets you hold hers
lets you pinch her cheeks(with some resistance)
who agrees that you understand her well but she doesn't know much/anything about you
whose been around for 2 years
not gone on a single date
is reasonably conservative
was single herself for that period
who has been hurt before
who teases you with nicknames
who always forces you to talk to her
who listens to your advice quite seriously
who once let you give her a back massage
who talks differently in private and in public with you, teases you with other random girls
Btw i do flirt with her occasionally. She either responds by giggling or staying quiet and ignoring and when i call her cute she says "i dont like it when anyone calls me cute". She also explained to me one day about why i find her beautiful. (Long story can't explain that here) One time i overdid the flirting and she texted me saying i was acting weird and if i had something to say to her. I shrugged it off. I do plan on telling her eventually. I am restrained due to reasons best known to me. She may be suspecting that i like her. We never talk much outside of work other than the occassional text. But we talk for long when that happens. I have over deep-dived her.i dont supplicate to her and i dont give her what she wants from me that easy, she hates it when i don't listen to her requests, which are mundane. I do challenge her.I act sexual around her too i havent yet acted sexual with her though (i know im a sad ass). She sees me as slightly thuggish.

How deep in the friendzone am i?Is there any hope of turning it around? Any ideas/suggestions would be most welcome. Btw sorry about the long list i just thought it'd be easier to read that way.

 

[Go10]

What if a girl considers you a friend, but she still touches your hands
lets you hold hers
lets you pinch her cheeks(with some resistance)
who agrees that you understand her well but she doesn't know much/anything about you
whose been around for 2 years
not gone on a single date
is reasonably conservative
was single herself for that period
who has been hurt before
who teases you with nicknames
who always forces you to talk to her
who listens to your advice quite seriously
who once let you give her a back massage
who talks differently in private and in public with you, teases you with other random girls
Btw i do flirt with her occasionally. She either responds by giggling or staying quiet and ignoring and when i call her cute she says "i dont like it when anyone calls me cute". She also explained to me one day about why i find her beautiful. (Long story can't explain that here) One time i overdid the flirting and she texted me saying i was acting weird and if i had something to say to her. I shrugged it off. I do plan on telling her eventually. I am restrained due to reasons best known to me. She may be suspecting that i like her. We never talk much outside of work other than the occassional text. But we talk for long when that happens. I have over deep-dived her.i dont supplicate to her and i dont give her what she wants from me that easy, she hates it when i don't listen to her requests, which are mundane. I do challenge her.I act sexual around her too i havent yet acted sexual with her though (i know im a sad ass). She sees me as slightly thuggish.

How deep in the friendzone am i?Is there any hope of turning it around? Any ideas/suggestions would be most welcome. Btw sorry about the long list i just thought it'd be easier to read that way.

I was EXACTLY in the same situation as you are. If someone showed this to me and told me I had written it, I'd have believed him/her.

I don't mean to be mean but sounds like you're pretty deep in the f zone. I'd suggest to move on/next her

Cut contact for some time. if she initiates contact again, reward her little but don't give her too much attention. use pre selection. don't put her on a pedestal. then when she initiates contact again ask her out. I might be wrong but it worked for me.
see how it goes.

p.s whenever I run into her I wonder what on earth made me chase her. She's ok in terms of looks and judgemental. laughable really I put her on a pedestal higher than a mountain.

 

[pks391]

I do plan on telling her everything.....you asked your girl out????? So what did she tell you?

 

[pks391]

I was EXACTLY in the same situation as you are. If someone showed this to me and told me I had written it, I'd have believed him/her.

I don't mean to be mean but sounds like you're pretty deep in the f zone. I'd suggest to move on/next her

Cut contact for some time. if she initiates contact again, reward her little but don't give her too much attention. use pre selection. don't put her on a pedestal. then when she initiates contact again ask her out. I might be wrong but it worked for me.
see how it goes.

p.s whenever I run into her I wonder what on earth made me chase her. She's ok in terms of looks and judgemental. laughable really I put her on a pedestal higher than a mountain.
Go10


Space Monkey
Space Monkey

Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 3:51 pm

I never put her on a pedestal

 

[pks391]

Hey radeng, thank you so much for answering..... you're absolutely right about everything....spot on.........i know what i have to do........but that doubt in my mind always will exist.....i know the basics of what you just told me......i have done it successfully for many girls.....i just wanted to analyze in this situation how deep i am and whether i can get her or not.....i am very comfortable if i dont....and as for the time lost i got nuff time which im gonna make for more girls in the future......and yes i have read those articles a year ago....and no......i still made the mistakes anyway coz i was learning

 

[Go10]

I do plan on telling her everything.....you asked your girl out????? So what did she tell you?

we went out. she was pretty excited the whole
time.
shiity logistics. I was under age at that time
where I live.

Better than that, you
will look back and think, "I cannot believe I used
to be hung up on THAT." You will never have this
issue again.

Spot on..during the date I was actually
wondering why I bothered asking her out and
didn't do some approaches instead..but oh well..

 

[pks391]

Hey drexel, thanks for your comment, i understood what you're telling me and believe me the friendship isbin no ways abusive....she doesn't ask more favours than just talking to me coz she knows im not gonna do much more than just deep diving. The fact that i dont give in to her every need pisses her off.

 

[pks391]

Hey go10 good to know you could ask her out and she reciprocated.....so did you tell her you guys were going out as friends or on a date????

 

[pks391]

And just to be clear to all you guys.....she DOES do stuff for me too when i ask her.....she does resist/argue but if i ask her gently/in a cutesy way she almost always listens to me, whether its filling in for me on weekends at work or bringing me something to eat when she goes down for a snack......or meeting me somewhere....she hates listening to me but does what i say with a shy smile on her face as she does it

 

[pks391]

Last time i checked i think that amounts to some form of investment from her side...

 

[Franco]

pks391,

And just to be clear to all you guys.....she DOES do stuff for me too when i ask her.....she does resist/argue but if i ask her gently/in a cutesy way she almost always listens to me, whether its filling in for me on weekends at work or bringing me something to eat when she goes down for a snack......or meeting me somewhere....she hates listening to me but does what i say with a shy smile on her face as she does it

The problem with this is that it is "friendly" investment. You want sexual investment -- investment that leads you two toward the bedroom. These are things such as getting her to agree to a date with you or getting her to follow you home.

It's fine to get investment from her in other ways as well, but ultimately if the investment you're getting is platonic, then she's going to be platonic toward you.

- Franco

 

[pks391]

So what do you guys think will happens if i try asking her now.....she being the way she is....

 

[Slippin' Jimmy]

Hey bro,

Sorry to hear you're in the friendzone. I concur with alot of what Radeng said. My experience with being friendzoned is... Well a few years ago i had afemale friend who I was attracted to but "just friends". Probably not as far in the zone as you are but still annoying, and I never made a move so as to keep my feelings hidden. Lost contact with her for around 2-3 years. Picked up PUA and worked on my game for a year and caught up with this girl again. By this time I had developed somewhat of an abundance mentality and was basically outcome independent towards my female friend (whatever happens, happens). I honestly wasn't expecting or hoping for anything non-platonic to happen with her. We caught up for drinks, and it was clear I was a better conversationalist, had a sexy vibe and more confidence. One thing led to another and she came back to my place, where I escaped from the friend zone in dramatic fashion, banging her several times.

Oh yeah, and she had a (supposedly) long-term/serious boyfriend as well! i'd forgotten about that. Hahahahahaha!

So i guess in some cases, you can only get the girl if you don't care about getting the girl! Maybe that is your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

 

[pks391]

Refreshing story jimmy, good to hear your thoughts .. ..am i really that far flung in according to you???? I mean, i haven't asked her out or anything yet ......i use non verbal flirting like touch, cheek pinching i also engage in playful banter and the occasional compliment like 'cute' in between.

 

[pks391]

I have been reading all of you guys articles for a long time now.......i have worked severely on my fundamentals (clothes, walk, eye contact, deep diving, etc)......i have developed sexy habits......i have seen results with women.... Im just at a phase now where im taking a small break from pua and she is a girl who is with me and my pua skills are still developing.....i have all the time in the future i WILL go out and meet new girls.......heck i already have done that. Many girls have come up...i just wanna try this girl because there is something to it........just to learn a lesson in life......that is why i have been asking your opinions.... this is because i am curious to know where exactly i stand right now with her and whether i can turn it around....ive never given this girl my whole life or a whole lot of time......i dont even call her......hardly once in 3 months......we do all this at the office.......

 

[Slippin' Jimmy]

Refreshing story jimmy, good to hear your thoughts .. ..am i really that far flung in according to you???? I mean, i haven't asked her out or anything yet ......i use non verbal flirting like touch, cheek pinching i also engage in playful banter and the occasional compliment like 'cute' in between.

From what you've written it does seem you're pretty deep in the zone. As Chase says, attraction has an expiry date, and 2 years as friends is a long time. Then again re-reading your post, it appears she is quite inexperienced, and when she sent you that text (asking if you had something to tell her) she may have been inviting you to make something happen. So its hard to give a definitive answer as to what will happen with this one. The longer you go on as being friends, the harder it gets to make a move, and to re-frame the relationship as sexual.

 

[pks391]

Yeah jimmy, before this, we used to argue and fight alot to the point of not speaking to each other....not only that, she still says that I'm unpredictable and not at all easy to control

 

[Zoro]

Here's the thing,

Normally Id say if you want to try and see what is possible... that's okay. But in this instance and with your experience in this journey...

You need to be meeting other women. I know you are not because trying to "unfriendzone" yourself would be very unappealing to you if there were other women in your life.

And the kicker is, it's the best way to "unfriendzone" yourself. As long as you journey for yourself and NOT for her.

 

[pks391]

Thanks for the advice j wick......its been almost 2 years since my journey was solely for myself. I have stopped being the man who lived for others...