Is romance just a cold, calculating science?

[Humay]

I don't want to complain too much here, because Chase's methods obviously work. I'm sure Chase/Ricardus/Franco/ZacAdam/DanBloom/all the other great and helpful people on here are up to their necks in vagina, and have women chasing them all day. But having read most of Chase's articles and his book, it seems a bit depressing. All the magic and mystery of love has disappeared because everything you do to get a woman to fall madly in love with you is, to be blunt, just cold rhetoric and emotional manipulation.

It's just like the process of making a cake. Instead of eggs and butter, you throw into the mix the right clothes, walk and presence (fundamentals), rhetoric and body language mirroring, being fast with her and finish with intimacy. (Serve immediately while hot with regular sex on the side). And voilá, the girl has fallen madly in love with you (if not, it's probably because she didn't like the colour of the shirt you were wearing when she met you).
Cold calculations and process. No passion or emotion.

And then the last wall of my perception of 'love' came crashing down when i read Chase's post on marriage. He obviously knows what he's talking about, i don't dispute that, but i think he infers that the key to the ideal marriage is building a process of apathy towards the idea of it and your woman. (Link: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=69&p=7422#p7422)

So, from all this, it just feels like the only way i can be successful when it comes to women is if i sell my romantic and passionate soul to the devil. Only the restrained, apathetic, disciplined and calculating can be with the woman they desire.

But being full of passion and desire with that one woman you love (and sharing it) is what makes love fun :/ otherwise, she's just some sex object, right? At least that's my experience. Aren't i allowed to be romantic?

 

[Light]

I have to say that your mental model here is quite flawed.. no offence.

You can be both Passionate and Romantic while you mix that cake. You can be all that while you play your game right.
Baking a cake is definitely a science. You just need to throw in the right ingredients and bake it for the right amount of time.
But you can also be very passionate about it.

Everything you learn here, are techniques to improve "Who YOU are", to turn yourself into the person that "SHE WANTS".
When your calculations are right... you can still add your emotions and passion into it. That is what Romance really is.

Your Passion and your Game are two separate entities.

You need to think of it as playing the piano.
Being a good piano player requires practice and skills.
Being a passionate piano player requires only your heart.
But being a true musician requires both. Don't just be a player. Be a musician.

 

[Anonymous]

I think he's talking about the loss of innocence and butterflies. The more in control you become, the weaker your feelings get for girls.

 

[trashKENNUT]

So, from all this, it just feels like the only way i can be successful when it comes to women is if i sell my romantic and passionate soul to the devil. Only the restrained, apathetic, disciplined and calculating can be with the woman they desire.

But being full of passion and desire with that one woman you love (and sharing it) is what makes love fun :/ otherwise, she's just some sex object, right? At least that's my experience. Aren't i allowed to be romantic?

I have been reading and experimenting on a lot of articles on dating, women, psychology, friendship, sociology. I have come to terms that this is more of a "passing to generation" problem rather than you totally having a flawed mental model. Also, your mental model also goes hand in hand with this thing called "Passion Trap". Added on, If i am not mistaken, Chase mention this that Girlschase information being "hard" for people to accept, because this is not the advice mainstream media or any parents and friends write or talk about.

But here's one thing i can leave with you. We are objective based human beings first and foremost. If you follow religion, this God in the religion writes why you here and yada yada, while you in this religion, this God writes why you here and yada yada. The feeling why you feel distorted is a whole lot of number of reasons, and i am sure a lot of guys out there, are too.

I been learning study on emotions, from Esther Hicks, on Youtube. I suggest you take a look up on it, and find out who she is. This is my personal suggestion. Also, take a break from all the advice here, if it's overwhelming. Find your peace, and know why you feel distorted. Because at the end of the day, we are objective based human beings in an objective reality world, and emotions and passion are just streams of water flowing to the direction of what you want. You are just the man in the boat. You can jump out of the boat to swim but eventually you need to get back up because you need to go into the direction in life you want, and also you get drown if you don't.

Anyway, the boat part is something just i write.
Zac