Is this girl worth my time

[RyRy]

So my best mates sister has this friend, who used to hang around my group of friends, never showed any interest in me (I thought she was pretty attractive) my mates sister said I had no chance with her So I never bothered to do anything, until my mate and his sister had a joint party and the girl and I were both invited,

A few weeks before the party she added me on Facebook and talked to me non stop then gave me her number and we text heaps, she kept mentioning going to the party and said I should go there like she was keen, we all caught up Thursday before the party and she was like cuddling me saying stuff like she was heaps comfortable around me and she hasn't been close to a guy in a while she broke up with her ex 5 months beforehand, I've been single for 3 years with no luck except this girl,

That party come along and after getting a little closer we sat by a fire and she got up and sat on my lap and we kissed a few times and stuff, then I got pretty tired and went to bed said night to everyone she got up and followed me in too, we cuddled and kissed for ages then then the next morning I woke up and she was gone said she had a good night and said she kissed me on the head before she left,

After that night she acted all weird and asked what went wrong, her reply was she was too fucked up too be getting close to a guy and all this other stuff,
and then she stopped texting me as much and then it went to nothing,

We all caught up again at a restaurant and she got up again and sat on my lap and started to act interested again, she text me heaps again saying I looked hot and it was great catching up then nothing again for a week.

After not really talking, we kept seeing each other around with her friend (my mates sister) we had to pick them up from town and other stuff, things felt awkward and I didn't really talk much, and then after a while she texts me again like nothing ever happened saying hi and making conversation.

This is were I'm confused, I don't know whether she's into me or just got no one else to talk to at that time and I was just there, So far I've been acting cold, not replying for a few hours and not saying much in reply just a few word questions after she replies straight away and puts smiley faces and stuff at the end of every sentence.

I'm so confused with what to do, I don't know if anything is there if I'm just wasting my time, should I just keep acting like I'm not interested while not replying much, (but I feel like an arsehole), should I just cut her out and go back to just saying hi when I see her with her friend, should I text her heaps and act interested.

Cheers.

 

[Richard]

If you are genuinely interested in her, continue to push things along with her, she's sent you tons of interest indicators, the plain fact that she texts back right away with smiley faces while you remain almost indifferent is a huge one. I get the feeling that she said she was too fucked up to get close toanother man is because you did not seal the deal, you two kissed loads and loads, then you said good night, which may have pushed her to unconsciously defend herself, which would cause her to stop texting... At this moment, with everything you've said, it sounds like s is interested in you, thus, if you return her interest it should go smoothly, so, while texting her g, say something along the lines of "hey (her name), I'm thinking we should see each other soon, what's your schedule like this week ? If she responds positively, continue to press forward

 

[RyRy]

Yeah after reading some articles on here it did seem like I should have had 'sealed the deal'
it was weird we stopped talking but saw her a few times with her friend awkwardly saying hi and stuff then all of a sudden out of the blue says hi this morning with a smiley face, talked a bit and stopped again, but I made sure I took ages to reply to show I wasn't too interested.
I'm not too sure if she's lost interest in me, I think I've shown that I'm interested in her but I can't be bothered investing time in her to only get rejected.

 

[Light]

Is the girl worth your time ..? - Probably not.

Bed her and she's yours.

 

[RyRy]

Pretty sure that I left it too late, she's already talking to another dude,
I want to know from her what I did wrong.

 

[RyRy]

*so I can improve on what I did wrong and not do it again...

 

[Richard]

RyRy, if you do decided to ask her what you did wrong, be sure to post what she says on here as well, because in my experience, in order to save some dignity, the girl will not tell you exactly what you did wrong, so i would be cautious if I were you. However, I think one of the biggest things you did wrong was not go all the way with her the night the two of you made out once you told your friends good night. By her joining you, she was committing her time, and sexual attention to you, and going in, she was expecting you to have sex with her, when you didn't, when the two of you only kissed, she probably took it as a sign of not total interest in her

 

[Franco]

Ry,

Personally, I wouldn't bother asking her what you did wrong. Not only will you get a less than truthful answer, but you'll look rather weak as well. The idea is to approach as many women as possible so that you can start building reference points -- once you do that, you should be able to easily nail down the sticking point that is hurting your game simply from making the same mistake repeatedly (or not making it and advancing further)!

- Franco

 

[RyRy]

Cheers guys,

This happens more than I'd like to admit, and my problem is I don't usually have sex outside of relationships, due to being straight edge,
that's another problem I have with girls, cause I don't drink smoke or do drugs I get looked at like a total idiot,

One thing she did say to me was that she liked hanging out with me and wanted to cuddle and stuff cause she knew I wouldn't just want to have sex with her,
so that's why I'm confused, (supposedly she had a crush on me a few years ago but I never remembered her)

It's really hard for me to meet a girl and when I do I may get a little excited, I've been single for 3 years after a 2 year relationship ending,
I'm hopeless with women, can't talk to them, they never come to talk to me, hence why I'm on this site trying to better myself to be able to get a girl for once,

On another note It's really hard atm cause since this whole thing happened she's been around a lot more and it's kinda awkward between us which sucks,
she always talks about this other guy she's talking to and it makes me feel like crap

 

[Richard]

It's nothing to be ashamed of man, absolutely nothing. Being a straight edge man us admirable, and I was the same way until I broke up with my ex, and had to get out and meet women. It feels awkward at first, and you're bound to make some mistakes, but going out, and meeting women has that effect, and once you start, it gets easier. Being a straight edge man is fine, but having sex out of a relationship is also fine. I'm waiting to meet a women who compliments me well before I get into another relationship, but in the mean time, I've been opening women, having sex, getting valuable experience in case I need it to attain my next real girlfriend. If you need any help, feel free to pm me

 

[RyRy]

Straight edge seems like a burden on me dating/seeing women,
I don't know how to meet women that's the thing, I can't get girls if my life depended on it, last time I went up to a girl at a club was a bunch of girls I said hi and they all said ew yuck get away from us and walked away,

Yeah that's just me,as contradicting as it sounds, I don't want to just go out and fuck random chicks, this girl the other night was absolutely drunk and again If I did anything with her I'd feel like I was taking advantage of her, it just wouldn't feel right,

I think that I need to go back to bare basics and just get feeling good about myself, and approach girls, learn to talk to them, find if they're interested and all that.

Same as me..

Cheers mate will do.

 

[Richard]

Don't be so hard on yourself man, it sounds like you need to build your self-confidence as well, and that the auto-rejection is crippling it. Boosting self-confidence came for me unknowingly when I decided to join karate, and martial arts in general about 3 years ago, the feeling of going through ranks is empowering, and karate in general has been promoting alot of positive influence in my life. So, if you can, find a hobby which you have to work at to get result, this could be a number of things, anything that YOU HAVE to put effort towards for a good result, and self-confidence will come naturally. As far as talking to women, follow Chase's 10 day regime, begin on day one by scouting areas with women, then work on just saying hi to women, then hi, how's your day going?, and progressing slowly at your own pace. As far as your approach at the club, in my experience, it is not best to open with "hi." Instead, make sure the girl has noticed you, walk up to her, and open with either a compliment like "Hey, I saw you dancing on the floor, and had to come say you have the most vibrant spirit I've seen all night, my name is (so and so) (hand shake)" She'll usually reciprocate well, and go from there with a few smaller questions like "So what place do you call home? You don't look like a local..." Anything of the sort.
-Cheers, Richard =)

 

[RyRy]

Could you link me to that 10 step thing,
I've decided after the last flop, I'm going to get back into the live music scene, which used to be a big thing for me, hopefully it'll make me feel better,
I live in Adelaide Australia dude..

 

[Richard]

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewt ... ?f=13&t=34