Is this selfish? Not sure what to do...

[Jakeroviks]

I'm a naturally aloof and laid-back guy. I'm used to having girls want me because of this attitude, but only recently started having success by being more aggressive and going after what I wanted with women. I have several girls who I've slept with recently, and I'm running into a common problem with almost all of them.

One way or another, they ask what I want from them, or discover that I'm seeing other girls, and get hurt, saying that they don't want to be used.

I've been honest with all of them, and managed to turn one around by explaining that we started this with no expectations, and if she wants something more committed she's free to go look for it, but I'd like to contibue seeing her.

Two others did not work out as well, and ended with both girls saying they were afraid I'd forget/ replace them, that they don't want to be used, etc. They don't like that I don't care about them enough.

To be fair, I can see it from their point of view. But at the same time, I don't believe I'm using them as we're both getting something out of the time we spend together. Is it selfish of me to expect women to commit sexually/ emotionally to a man with multiple women?

I can easy play aloof as is the norm for me, but I legitimately care about these girls and don't want to hurt them.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dude this is not selfish you've expressed what ya want an its up to them if they are fine with that if there not then there not available to ya an they'll leave. All girls will want commitment from ya in some capacity an if they wanna be exclusive that's fine but that not what ya want yah? If they don't wanna be with ya knowing ya not exclusive that's there decision an they will leave.

If ya feel this is selfish an understand there view then if ya find one ya wanna be exclusive with then that's ya decision ya currently pursuing what ya want!!

Like you yah I see it from there point of view cause a want ma girl to be loyal an exclusive to me, that's what a expect. A would be fine having a fuck buddy if a didn't know she was fucking with other guys a dint want an open relationship. A would expect if a wasn't committing to her an it was a fuck buddy arrangement shes possibly with other guys an if she isn't she will be looking because am not giving her the commitment she wants.

At the moment ya in a good place, ya being honest with them, ya getting what ya want and they can leave if that doesn't suit them!!

Personally a wont tell girls am seeing other people, a wont lie to them but unless they ask bout it or talk bout being official its not an issue. ya go into it with no expectations an no strings attached an ya both getting something from the time ya sent together so not selfish dude

 

[Jakeroviks]

Somethibg you said resonated with me. The fact that you're fine having a fwb, but wouldn't want to know she's banging someone else. Makes sense that she would want the same.

You can be honest with these girls and also giver her a good experience.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

that ya can dude just remember don't ask n don't tell. If ya girl is banging someone else shes instantly less desirable ya don't want damaged goods an ya know she isn't that loyal to ya an ya were only ever an option not the choice. Remember ya want options ya wanna be her only choice.

harsh reality but that's how it is

ya don't wanna be my good enough ya wanna be mr right I cant do any better than ya. that can be seen as a selfish an arrogant attitude but 0 fucks given dude