Hi all,
I think it's funny, how if you were to whine about the thing that is your biggest problem (bedding women for me), you'd be told you're playing victim. But I can think of many other smaller problems that I have, that people would have such sympathy towards me for! Pick-up, in many ways is my biggest problem. I think it makes one stronger if he can't whine about it though. And for me, it's my stubbornness that makes me keep going... and perhaps because there's no alternative!
Sometimes it can nearly be viewed as: one having to remember, that even if a night doesn't go badly, it's still going to go badly! What I mean is that, you'll either fail to approach, or you'll approach and make some obvious mistake at some point and end up kicking yourself.
Thoughts on last few nights: For me, pick-up as made me have to come to terms with the fact of how quick I am. I've always considered myself as somewhat sharp & witty, but when it's a stranger in a load environment, it can be a different matter... having to realise how the situation is constantly changing and being able to respond accordingly.. I'll come away from an interaction thinking "hang on, the fact that she said x was an indication of... and I could have used that as an excuse to do Y". Then while going home night with my mind spinning all of the approaches flood back into my mind - making me realise things; "gee, it was so obvious, all I had to do was X".
But I don't really beat myself up over failed attempts like this anymore. One has to remember that he's only made such mistakes because he was brave enough to take action. And thereby he can come to terms with his weaknesses sooner rather than later. What I will also say, is that I love realising things (mindsets or tricks) that suddenly seem completely obvious, that I never considered before.
All in all, I've nothing to complain about - because it's a problem that nearly every other man has, or else that he has subconsciously given up on! Here's how I kind of think of approaches - mainly based on RSD
1. 5 second rule before opening
2. an approach is how you take action based on what happens after the fact
3. lower your standard of how good the things you have to be (say the things that your least proud of with the most confidence)
4. find something funny about each interaction, if failed
I think it's funny, how if you were to whine about the thing that is your biggest problem (bedding women for me), you'd be told you're playing victim. But I can think of many other smaller problems that I have, that people would have such sympathy towards me for! Pick-up, in many ways is my biggest problem. I think it makes one stronger if he can't whine about it though. And for me, it's my stubbornness that makes me keep going... and perhaps because there's no alternative!
Sometimes it can nearly be viewed as: one having to remember, that even if a night doesn't go badly, it's still going to go badly! What I mean is that, you'll either fail to approach, or you'll approach and make some obvious mistake at some point and end up kicking yourself.
Thoughts on last few nights: For me, pick-up as made me have to come to terms with the fact of how quick I am. I've always considered myself as somewhat sharp & witty, but when it's a stranger in a load environment, it can be a different matter... having to realise how the situation is constantly changing and being able to respond accordingly.. I'll come away from an interaction thinking "hang on, the fact that she said x was an indication of... and I could have used that as an excuse to do Y". Then while going home night with my mind spinning all of the approaches flood back into my mind - making me realise things; "gee, it was so obvious, all I had to do was X".
But I don't really beat myself up over failed attempts like this anymore. One has to remember that he's only made such mistakes because he was brave enough to take action. And thereby he can come to terms with his weaknesses sooner rather than later. What I will also say, is that I love realising things (mindsets or tricks) that suddenly seem completely obvious, that I never considered before.
All in all, I've nothing to complain about - because it's a problem that nearly every other man has, or else that he has subconsciously given up on! Here's how I kind of think of approaches - mainly based on RSD
1. 5 second rule before opening
2. an approach is how you take action based on what happens after the fact
3. lower your standard of how good the things you have to be (say the things that your least proud of with the most confidence)
4. find something funny about each interaction, if failed
