It's really her fault

[Skid]

When you are moving forward with a girl   you like and something gets screwed up  the best case scenario for you is she feels like it was her fault you didn't move forward together. For me this was a difficult thing to process , I was never much of a team player: the sports I did was mostly individual (swimming, cross country) and and so I was conscious that I had the most influence on everything that happened to me - I think my favourite article on here is chases on victim mentality because it resonated so much with me. But teamwork is a valuable skill , being  able to objectively critisise is even better and like with many things in seduction you must find a balance - even the extremes which seem "positive" (ie. everything is my fault) will collapse on itself make you lose your mind you won't be able to accept all the failure which is "your fault". How do you do this without tilting the other way again?Set up reasonable amounts of effort that you should have to put in to move forward with a girl (based on your experience with what works for you) these should be your own personal limits that a girl can't cross depending on your beliefs and experiences etc (ie 3 date asks - 2 attempts to move her initially). If a girl crosses that line then you must rationalise the failed seduction as her fault  for whatever reason (her belief system , a boyfriend she has etc , if she doesn't like you despite your awesome fundamentals even that is a condition within her control and therefore her fault) and then be ready to next her or do next her.In my opinion this is an EXTREMELY important mindset shift you must make as you breach the gap between beginner and intermediate. But you can't just jump on this train while you are a beginner because when you start out 99.999999% of the time it is your fault for not pushing a girls buttons or moving forward.

What happens when you start doing this as an intermidiate? Well you start moving forward with girls in a fast and calibrated way (move forward at an acceleration related to the interest/compliance levels of said girl in question) then girls start resisting things because they like you a lot and don't want to screw things up with you. The resistance is there because she is scared that if you move fast she will ruin her chances with you : the very same fear you had with those first couple girls you liked (don't move fast because you might make the wrong move , or screw up - and you will NEVER recover from that!!!!). You want to move fast and have a practiced process  so the only thing that can go wrong on average is : the girl screws up.

You'll go to kiss her put your hand firmly into her and she pulls back. So you be non reactive wait 10 mins and keep talking and then try again she rebuffs you again.Then she starts apologising because she feels it's her fault - because it is. Previously I'd go back home and vigorously try to figure out what I did wrong in a situation like the one I described but really the answer is "nothing" so you've just screened her and now it's time to next her! And well , if she really likes you then she knows why you aren't taking to her and you've gone silent - it's her fault. She may just chase you. This is one of the reasons that assholes do well with girls because they are able to make the girl feel like it's her fault all the time. Don't believe me? read comments on women's dating sites ; look at the advertising : "5 mistakes that drive away men" - women aren't that different to men in these aspects. They think about what they can do to get the man they like too it's just the method they go about it is more indirect/submissive.

Don't next girls because you don't want to be needy or you want to do the right thing. Next them because it's their fault.

Skid

 

[trashKENNUT]

Skid.

Don't next girls because you don't want to be needy or you want to do the right thing. Next them because it's their fault.

It is their fault because they are either getting married or get fucked right in the ass at the back of a chalet by some guy she don't care at all. :X It's crass but yea, you do NEXT her if it is become too much of a problem.

Zac

 

[Chase]

Skid-

Nice post.

I think it's important to differentiate between the mentality you present to women of, "Hey look, it's your fault. So you can fix it, or not. Your choice," which is IMMENSELY powerful, provided you've done everything else right... and the mentality of, "Hey, I tried my best. It's her fault. I don't have to worry about it," which is how a lot of guys let themselves off the hook and stop the progress of their own improvement.

I think you're just talking about the presented mentality here, and not the letting-yourself-off-the-hook mentality - just want to point that out for readers to avoid any guys going, "Oh. Okay. I don't need to get any better than, because it's her fault we didn't have sex."

It's a highly useful mentality to present to women when they are messing up so they can get themselves in line. However, your personal mantra for your own self should continue to be, "What could I have done differently to achieve the result I desired?", at least so long as you're still improving (if you reach a point where you're happy with your results and don't care for any further progress, there's probably not much harm in labeling things others' faults so long as it isn't making you bitter or resentful, I suppose).

Chase

 

[JaegerBeta92]

not really, because part of being a man is accepting responsibility for your life, if your a man, everything is your fault, if your a woman, not everything is your fault.