I've achieved nothing by following this. I think i should give up..

[Ryan]

I've been trying this for a whole year now (i'm almost 19), going totally by the articles and ebook (i bookmarked and saved all 350+ articles on GC, categorised them and made notes on all of them, as well as reading through the ebook twice).

What's really demoralising is that despite all the hard work i've put into going out and trying to meet girls, i have had zero success in anything to do with women. I've never had a date, ever. I've never held a girl's hand. I've never even kissed a girl (and yet most of this site talks about sex). What i would give for any of these things to change right now. Almost all girls have become cold on me and made the conversation incredibly awkward, meaning i've now got serious approach anxiety, which i never had badly before.

I'm not ugly either. A lot of guys have said i am handsome, as well as one of my friends who is a girl. And when a girl reacts to my approach, i can see her eyes light up and see her smile. But as soon as i open my mouth, she literally runs out the door as quick as she can. But that's who i am. I'm getting the feeling that these articles don't really change who you are, they just make you put on a mask. And you'll have to leave that mask on for the rest of your life, for if you ever relax and take it off, she will see it's all just a pick-up act.

I'm not having a victim mentality here (at least, i don't think so), i don't see why i can't act like myself. Trying to act cool and sexy isn't who i am, neither is this pick-up stuff obviously. I think i would honestly be happier just having a normal, average girlfriend who loves me for who i am, instead of her loving me for being Chase Amante 2.0

All this is just so much effort, and my friend (who girl's seem just to love) puts absolutely no effort into meeting girls whatsoever. They just come into his life out of nowhere, flirt with him, beg him to take them out for a date, and then be his girlfriend (if he feels like it). I feel that for all the effort i put into this, it's impossible to be effortless, and good with women like a natural, like him, Chase and others.

 

[user3423424]

Ryan , this is decision depend on you whether you should give up or continue .

As from what Chase said throughout his experience , he had to put in alot hard work and be persistence to just achieve the skill level he has . If this was easy , then every men out in the world would have a beautiful women by their side but it doesn't work that way . Imagine the determination for the people who climbed Mount Everest . It ain't a walk to the park . This requires alot of hard work and the best thing about this is , Chase has already exploit the techniques in succeeding with women , we just put to apply the guideline and be very persistence .

Good luck mate

 

[Flames]

The bad news is that you can't give up even if you try. It's a pandoras box once it's open it's open. The good news is that this is just one of the stages you go through before achieving enlightenment.

When I get moods like this I just go through everything again from the beginning, hit the reset so to speak.

You'll find it much easier '2nd time around'

 

[trashKENNUT]

ryan,

don't give up mate, Get some ice cream!

Zac

 

[ocantu1987]

This video will motivate you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozztKbU3Btk

 

[Richard]

Ryan,

Because I'm a man of action, I'll be explaining the problems I see right now.

-Confidence
-Opening
-Effort

I'm going to assume that you read the articles and the e-book before going out and approaching, and that's a problem of information overload. When you're out, you want to focus on specific things for that day: only three things per day. So you could focus on smiling, specific openers, and eye contact one day.

That friend you have who's good with women, mimick him. Do what he does. I wrote about that in my article on Changing Your Vibe With Women.

What's more is, this site doesn't produce masks, people don't become someone they're not... they become better them's. I haven't changed a bit (personality wise) from when I joined this site to now, the site helped me find my natural game, and I never had to put on a mask.

I'm also going to assume you haven't tweaked your opening either, so you may have been doing the same routine for a while, but its hard to say without FRs.

Bottom line is, keep approaching bro. Make a home on the forums because that's where you get personal feedback, and advice from experienced members. Start posting some FRs, and ask questions. We'll all help you to get laid.

If you need anything, feel free to inbox me

-Richard

 

[Nuncle]

And when a girl reacts to my approach, i can see her eyes light up and see her smile. But as soon as i open my mouth, she literally runs out the door as quick as she can

In light of those 2 pieces of information, there must be something specific you are doing wrong then. Any idea what it is? Or ideas? That you could experiment with dropping one at a time?

For example do you look down when she smiles? Do you visibly take a breath to steady yourself before speaking? Do you pitch your voice too high? Are you too direct or indirect? (these are just examples). Do you always say the same thing? Experiment with saying things you would never normally say, even if you end up with a spritzer in your face. You will still learn something (this is easier said than done I know).

One suggestion I have as to why this happens is that maybe your character is different to how you look. I have the same thing. I look like quite a hard, ball busting businessman type and so get a lot of admiring glances from the type of girl who goes for that. I am not usually aware I look like that, however. I think of myself as a sort of lovable entertainer type (which I am slowly changing) and that is the persona that comes across when I open my mouth and the girl quickly switches off, leaving me standing there thinking "but..but..I'm so loveable!"

 

[Supah]

I'm going to assume that you read the articles and the e-book before going out and approaching, and that's a problem of information overload. When you're out, you want to focus on specific things for that day: only three things per day. So you could focus on smiling, specific openers, and eye contact one day.

This is very important, i'm a ski instructor and this also applies to skiing, or to anything you try to improve.
If you want to improve and correct your mistakes, you have to work on one thing at a time. It is just so compelling to try and fix everything at once but it just doesn't work. If you try to correct to much stuff at one time you will never manage because it's just to much, believe me it will make you worse, hesitant and less confident.

I'm 20 i never had lot's of succes with women before i was 18 (when i started college) i then too didn't have any idea how i would ever manage to get a girl it seemed like something so difficult, unreachable but believe me,you have to believe in yourself. It's like a snowball effect, that is if you are actively going out and try to improve, otherwise it might just be coincidence. Once you had your first success, your success rate will keep increasing and increasing. There is one really important thing you should understand though. Chase talked about this in an article i cant remember which one though. Your success does not increase gradually, it happens in fractions. You'll be going out and meeting a lot of girls while not getting any results and you'll be thinking what the hell am i doing here. But then suddenly you'll get one girl, and another and another and so on. At first your success ratio will be quite low but then, again suddenly, your success will increase again. You might not even notice at once. But maybe a month later you'll say to your self, damn this month i got some very good results. And then it increases again and again...

Don't give up man, it will be so much more rewarding when you finally succeed. Just try not to smile to hard when you do, she might think you're weird then.

Cheers, Supah

 

[Estate]

Ryan,
It's awesome that you read and studied so much but maybe that is part of the problem. It's REALLY easy to overcomplicate things. Feel like you need every little thing to be right before you can meet a woman, feel like you must do every little thing from every little article here. But it's not that hard. You really don't. The topics here range from a lot of experience in all sorts of situations but not every little thing applies to every single approach.

Thats where guys go wrong, they think there is a "formula" to meet women but there's really not. It's not like that at all... there are so many variables, 2 approaches are never the same.

There are so many styles of game and Chase's is just one. Personally, I like it because his style works for me. I never got the idea of Opinion Openers and Peacocking with crazy hats... it was so weird to me. But Chases style is not to be someone else... I read his advice more the "Just be yourself", but be your best self. Things like fundamentals are easy. But I've become more assertive, I stand up straight, I walk strong... those things aren't exactly being someone else... wearing a Mystery costume would be that to me.

If it's not for you that's totally cool, but don't let your head drop, don't overthink it and actually enjoy meeting people instead of focusing on the end goal. It'll come.

 

[PinotNoir]

Dude, really? Come on. I'm not going to sugarcoat this because of my current mood.

When I'm out with my Russian friend, almost every girl I approach says "yes" to me. I don't know why. It's just random.

When I'm out with my other friend, almost every girl (maybe all) I approach says "no" to me.

The 1st guy thinks I'm a legend and really courageous -- he thinks I'm a natural. The 2nd guy thinks I'm a complete idiot and horrible with women; in fact, he won't even read GC because he looks at my results when we're out and thinks it's a complete waste -- no joke.

Sometimes, things just work out.

OK, so I mention this guy too much in posts, but I promise I'm not in love with him, but read his posts (AsianPersuasion):

https://boards.girlschase.com/search.php?author_id=472&sr=posts

Also, read Nino's Newbie Assignment.

When I read how MUCH effort these guys have put into it, it makes me want to rip the little green guy off under my avatar. I don't put nearly as much effort as these guys.

But once you've put enough time in, you'll reach a point where everyone else is amazed at how good your serve is. "He's a natural!" they'll exclaim.

But really, you just failed a lot more than they did.

-Chase

These guys wracked up tons of failures; failures that I wish that I had. Unbelievable amounts.

Let's go back to the facts. You said you're approaching women.


How many women did you approach this week?

What did you say to these women?


Just pure, unfiltered facts. This is how you will improve.

 

[DavidEdge]

Dude I feel you, I still can't get laid. I got more attraction, fundamentals down pat, and my vibe is getting their, but I still can't get laid, I still Can't get a fwb, I still can't get a girlfriend and I'm in high school (im 17). Dude keep it going you'll get better, greatness doesn't happen in a day nor a year. I cry and get mad about my lack of results I sometimes I'm bitter, but I'm improving slowly. I had a rough middle, elementary life because I was bullied and I realize after all these years I'm still affected by it( it's hard to let go). Dude keep on it hurts I know but don't quit, Shit I still can't find a Gf. It takes courage to be great at something, but the only way to achieve greatness is to persist. One thing: Take action, read Chase's articles, and analyzes your results ( you taking action and attempting to moving things forward) and you'll get there slowly. Im no seduction but I know how success works

 

[Estate]

I'll just add one more thing...

I'm trying to think back exactly when I found this material but I think I discovered "game" only sometime around 20 or 21. I read Neils' book shortly afterwards. To put this in perspective I'm now 29 and only in this last calendar year do I REALLY feel like things have clicked.

I'm not saying it will take that long... in those years I fell in and out of different schools of PUA in between relationships... so it was never like a full steam ahead thing util more recently.
But the reason I wasn't gung ho about it back at 21, was because I didn't get it. The cheesy opinion openers seemed ridiculous. I tried them and of course they completely bombed and I made a fool of myself. But the reason I like Chase's stuff is because it's less about cheesy gimmicks. Its only now I see what was wrong. I was saying all the right things according to Neil and Eric but I didn't realize I was a nervous wreck while doing it.... NOW I have learned from this site... it doesn't matter if I ask them a gimmicky question opener or not... I have just fixed the things I was insecure and nervous about so I could walk over with a trash bag on and still make the girl interested now.

As I said, I'm 29, I think Chase mentioned in some article he's within a year or two of my age... it doesn't come overnight. I never went to American High school but I know from my own days, it's very hard to get out of any "niche" you've put yourself into in school no matter how hard you try. When you go to college you really can re-invent yourself and even more so at 25 or so when you go into the real world. You are literally free to be who you want to be. It's not like high school where even if you were the sexiest guy on campus, some jerk jocks will still find a way to keep you down. Outside of high school, that sort of environment doesn't exist.

Another thing is... girls of this age are also inexperienced. They'll say and do weird thing, some are overly promiscuous, some are overly prude... it only starts to level out in peoples mid-20's, or at least, that's what I found.

While clubs and bars aren't EVERYTHING. They are the most intimidating place for a young guy who doesn't know his way around women. It's only now much later on, I can really relax in those places without any pressure since I'm comfortable there.

 

[Supah]

As I said, I'm 29, I think Chase mentioned in some article he's within a year or two of my age... it doesn't come overnight. I never went to American High school but I know from my own days, it's very hard to get out of any "niche" you've put yourself into in school no matter how hard you try. When you go to college you really can re-invent yourself and even more so at 25 or so when you go into the real world. You are literally free to be who you want to be. It's not like high school where even if you were the sexiest guy on campus, some jerk jocks will still find a way to keep you down. Outside of high school, that sort of environment doesn't exist.

Exactly, in high school i didn't have a lot of success with women, just becaus of that "niche" i happened to be in, and frankly i didn't care to much, i was happy had a lot of friends. I had a lot of very cute girls i had a good friendship with but i wasn't the guy that you would date. I was just this cute guy that you could have a good conversation with, crack some jokes, go on vacation with even. But i didn't have any real girlfriend during high school.

It's around the age of 18, when i went to college that i was able to pick up girls because i wasn't in that niche, i was just a guy. And all they saw was you, the way you moved,your body language, your confidence, etc. Which is not the case in high school. You can really re-invent yourself and the best part is that you don't need to do this immediately in college because you wont be in a niche.

Another thing is... girls of this age are also inexperienced. They'll say and do weird thing, some are overly promiscuous, some are overly prude... it only starts to level out in peoples mid-20's, or at least, that's what I found.

While clubs and bars aren't EVERYTHING. They are the most intimidating place for a young guy who doesn't know his way around women. It's only now much later on, I can really relax in those places without any pressure since I'm comfortable there.

Yes, this is very true. Only a few women at the age of 20 really know how to act when approached by a stranger and communicate there feelings for you through there actions. That's why i very much enjoy when i'm talking to women that are a few years older then me, around the age of 23, because they have much more experience.
This is not always true of course. Some women can be very experienced at the age of 20, probably because they are very beautiful or just quickly learned how to act around men.

 

[Witcher]

Hi
Men, i'm a little like you, but in my beggining in seduction community i was thinking that you sould Act and play like what you are not!! And this had in reality distroyed my initial litttle success with girls !!
But , the goal is to better yourself, and this not something you can achieve in 1 year. its now my 4th serious year in seduction community. And when i look back, i can see many changes, and better changes not only about women some exemples :

1)Public speaking : Im now able to do well in public speaking.
2)Approaching: I can now approache girls, with no fear!!! Thing i could not even do in my first year.
3)My mindset toward girsl changed. They are no more that human like me, and i terat them like that and they appreciate this.
4)And good sense of communication and social skills, and relaxation.

The best thing is, the most important changes have been in the last 3-4 Year.When i really understood all tha shit in community and what is of. Not all thing are here for all use, some concepts are for specific use other are not.

There is tow thing you mus look for
1)Inner Game part :Its you attitude and beliefs toward girls, you have to give up all the "complexe" you have, they are just humans like us, not goddess, everyone do something worg or have others motives.

2)Outer game: most of thing in girls chase are about oter game,communication and leading skills, having the skills you found here will give you great advantage in daealing with situation even naturals can't.

All the materail in seduction community could look overhelming, and you don't need it all at time, somuc hmaterail is for specific use and logistics.
You need to make a re-fix like i did, and i will give you some ressources that helped me more than other, and a readed too much in this community. So the most useful for you know is :

1)Gunwitch articles specially method Gunwitch 2.
http://www.seductiontuition.com/gunwitc ... ethod-two/

2)Book : How to becom Alpha Male - By Jhon Alexender. If anyone had given me this book in highschool this could saved me so much time!! The best information about male female dynamics and basiss skill set. You should start with.

3)Chase book - In this book you will have all the information for dealing with any situation, and all the communication skills you need. The best thing is that they are also easy to apply, contrary to other outer game books.

4)Book: How to win friends and influce poeple. The best guide about general communication skills!

Start with that and you will see many change not so quickly so quicker that you may think.

 

[metomeya]

Ryan,

Changing and getting betters take time!

I know your frustration. It has been about 4-6 years (with PUA bootcamps) since I started to read about pickup and I am just now seeing the results. A year is not that long! And 19 is extremely young!

I have two suggestions for you:

1.) Make it a hobby not a life.
Sounds like it is a mix of frustration and burnout. Are you social and have friends? You should not be getting frustrated if you are looking forward to a fun weekend (this PUA stuff should be a hobby not a life) and your social circle should naturally get you women. Have you tried lowering your standards with your social circle. Not for sex, but just casual dating/group coed stuff. Time with a female makes life oh so sweet.

2.) Keep Reading different material.
You have limited experience being only 19. Also you should read other people's material to find what works for you. So you'll be a natural since you use stuff that works for you. If you are good looking like you said, you might want to try out Basic Guy Game. Checkout this post here (called it Base Guy Game by mistake lol) : https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3785

 

[Ryan]

Thanks for all the replies. Where i've been going wrong is trying to put too much info into my head. I've been learning the 'fundamentals' section solidly this month (i.e. 'how to be a '____' articles). There are about 60 articles concerning fundamentals, so going to a girl with my head stuffed of those 60 articles isn't doing me much good i don't think.

Flames is right too. Even though it would be nice to forget GC ever existed, and spare myself the next 2 years of failure and rejection. I can't. I got to finish what i've started when there is so much to potentially gain.

I'm going to begin a journal later, and start reading 3 articles a day and put them into practice each day too. Usually i'll only practice twice a week to a time dedicated to this. Now i'm just going to approach any pretty woman i can see.

I hope this is the right path. Thanks guys for all your support!

 

[metomeya]

Thumbs up on the journal. I think that is a good idea.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Ryan,

Glad to see you back on the bandwagon! On this site, every person who dedicates themself enough will have (countless) moments like this, but then keep on going until finding success .

I think what you're struggling with is the same problem I have, which is that you creatively look for ways to keep comfortable while making progress. Unfortunately, that's the number 1 inhibitor of growth, as growth necessarily equates to being uncomfortable. Work on beating that, and your learning curve coils up.

As for learning strategies...if you have THAT much unused theory in your head, you need to be hitting the streets hard. But instead of winging it, use deliberate practice to focus on 3 specific goals each day. You mentioned you had the ebook - focus on that more than the articles, and do the homework in there...it works. Its difficult and you need to use willpower, but taking that homework seriously and passionately will give you the best results in the shortest amount of time. And start with Chapter 1 on fundamentals - that's the 20% that leads to 80% of your results.

~Nick

 

[ocantu1987]

Thanks for all the replies. Where i've been going wrong is trying to put too much info into my head. I've been learning the 'fundamentals' section solidly this month (i.e. 'how to be a '____' articles). There are about 60 articles concerning fundamentals, so going to a girl with my head stuffed of those 60 articles isn't doing me much good i don't think.

Flames is right too. Even though it would be nice to forget GC ever existed, and spare myself the next 2 years of failure and rejection. I can't. I got to finish what i've started when there is so much to potentially gain.

I'm going to begin a journal later, and start reading 3 articles a day and put them into practice each day too. Usually i'll only practice twice a week to a time dedicated to this. Now i'm just going to approach any pretty woman i can see.

I hope this is the right path. Thanks guys for all your support!

I hope you watched my video, it can be applied to anything. "I quit" doesn't exist in your vocabulary ryan. I haven't got a girlfriend yet (zero my whole life) but does that mean I am quitting hell no haha.

 

[PinotNoir]

I just wanted to come back and apologize. My post was a little too harsh. I was just in a bad mood that day and wanted to motivate you like I do my friends. Lots of great posts here. I'm sure you'll do fine.

Flames hits the nail on the head. It's like opening Pandora's box. When you know that you can be good with women, you just can't stop focusing on it when you meet new women. Even if you never read GC again, you'll still end up thinking about everything you've read here when interacting with women. Trust me, there is always "game." Even the most direct and honest girls that say they hate "game"... they still have something they do. Even my guy friends that hate the idea of "game," still worry about being needy, going too fast or too slow, etc. It's just apart of being social, and if you want to interact with humans, there's just no way around it.

Girls want a guy that turns them on. And if you don't learn how to do that here, then you'll learn it from personal experience or learn it from another website. You'll always be subconsciously "studying" it as long as you want sex, girlfriends, and friends in general. You'll figure out and remember what to do and what not to do.