I've been phoning it in; Confession.

[Edd--19]

... Where do I really begin.

I suppose this is more a post to get me back into pushing hard.

I've been trying and failing at the same point over and over and over again for a long time and I've always wondered why I've never gotten further with all the time I've invested in this.

This was my answer.

This is more like my confession booth right now. I've spent the past few days trying to undersatnd why I haven't progressed and the honest truth, the truth that's eating me up, is that I've been phoning it in.

Now I've created this bad habit that I want to undo. I'm not going to ask for help as I can only focus on this gut wrenching failure myself. This is more a kick to get the ball rolling. I know that in my interactions I've not been pressing as far as I could. I've given up long before I should have. I avoided writing a journal for months, then I barely wrote in it. I was absorbed in my own little world of being good with girls I never put in the correct focus on actually living it. The most ironic thing about this... I feel worse now than I would've felt if I racked up those harsh experiences.

So, yeah, I feel like I've cheated myself, let everyone down on this site and wasted my time on not trying hard enough. Fuck, this was hard to write. Still, I'm going to stick to this, just try harder and push myself to the limits.

Thanks, you're all great.

 

[Skid]

Hey man ,

Don't be to hard on yourself I think we all have periods where we start phoning it in and resting on our laurels. I've certainly felt like that on multiple occasions , were I've just felt like I've gotten no where and there same pattern of failure just seems to go on and on. Like when you first start getting numbers you just settle for that for a while and don't really focus on getting solid numbers that feel like they won't flake or you get lazy and make excuses about not trying to set up dates with the girls you've met then suddenly a week has passed since you swapped contacts with the girl and you feel stupid for not following up because she seemed really keen.

I remember one time period when I was extremely frustrated at my lack of progress I said I was going to burn every set to the ground push and push and push. On that day I opened a girl sitting at a table she was quite cool and we got on really well until I suggested meeting up and tried to get her number she said she had a boyfriend and it wasn't happening - but I backed up changed topic and then kept going on and on. It got to the point where she just left the table without saying bye. Now yes this was insanely uncalibrated of me for pushing it to the point where we were having a good conversation and then she leaves the table she was originally at and I still feel kinda stupid thinking back to it. BUT it did give me reference experience on how far to push things and clues on telling when girls are quite happy with their bf during an interaction like that. I traded a girls opinion of me for some progress to being able to tell when a girl isn't interested.

And then I've had periods where I just do the same thing even tho I wasn't getting the results I wanted : Talk to a bunch of girls in the same way get numbers and then text the same way and I'd still get the same results or usually worse than usual.

I think its important that firstly you just keep to your habit of approaching and secondly figure out what stage you are at whether that's overcoming LMR (or preventing it) or getting a phone number. Look for solutions to these problems and try them try both extremes pushing really hard or not pushing at all try the middle range. I've personally found that I've overcome a lot of my sticking points by trying LESS. Look at what sort of person you are and how you tackle other things in life then relate it to girls. Usually I'm the sort of person that overcompensates a lot and once I stopped trying to cram a compliance ladder of yes , moving a girl , teasing her , hard push deep diving certain areas of her life and a million other techniques "trying to get her attracted to me" and focusing on just having a normal conversation with some basic compliance tests to see how she responds the girls that are naturally attracted to you just respond really positively and can see the genuineness in your approach. All from this I noticed that girls started suggesting we go for drinks or we should hang out soon right after I'd met them which NEVER EVER happened before.

Good luck ,

Skid