judgement day !!!!!

[DKD]

Ok so guys help me out here a bit.

I've literally had it. I cant take this anymore so I'm going for broke here. I liked this one girl and here are my 2 options:

I'm going to tell her that. It's going to be straightforward and honest.
OR
Wait and we can just be friends with a "hi" in maybe a month....
The thing is I don't really want to be friends anymore. If not more then nothing.....

This is literally putting friendship on the line....that is if you can call it that.

Any advice will be great. Cheers.

 

[topcat]

Hey DKD,
I've been in your situation with several girls. Females i liked and wanted to make my lovers but was too slow with and ended up in "satisfactory" friendships with for years. What I've done since is slowly fazed them out of my life to pursue things that are actually important to me (e.g. improve my social skills, pursue my hobbies etc. etc.). It's only been a few months but I've come to realize that these women provided very little value to my life outside of a pretty face (and tons of unsatisfaction) and if we were meant to be we would've been from the get go. My advice would be to move on from her (as harsh as that may sound) and focus on improving yourself, especially in regards to women. If ever your paths cross again, it's possible, that she will see your new upgraded self in a new light and be attracted.

In closing, i'd ask you to step back and observe your friendship, how much value does she really provide and of what type? If lots, then why not just stay platonic friends and seek other women?

All the best bro,

Topcat

 

[DKD]

@topcat

Cheers mage, thanks for the reply. Honestly she does not provide a huge inflience in terms of being friends. We never talk that much but we're just friends. This is the reason why thought asking her now and getting it done wih will be the best option.

Still don't know what to do, though.

 

[Clout]

I'm going to tell her that. It's going to be straightforward and honest.

This could work for you, it depends how forward you have been up until now.

we can just be friends with a "hi" in maybe a month....

This would be fine but you obviously put a lot of investment into her, if you think being friends will prevent you with other girls I would just drop it. Also...

The thing is I don't really want to be friends anymore. If not more then nothing.....

From that you clearly don't want to be friends. Don't be the guy she friend-zoned hoping to get with her for the rest of his days while others actually get with her...

This is literally putting friendship on the line....

You already said though that friends isn't enough.

Invite her out, escalate (if she resists and doesn't try to leave KEEP GOING). If she leaves you have your answer. If she stays and says "but we are just friends", then be honest but do not talk for an hour about it. Make sure you know what you want with her (lovers/relationship) be honest just don't state the whole thing.

So if you want a relationship go along the lines of you feel there is more and you want to find out what it could be. Avoid "I want you as a gf now!". I agree with topcat about value but its got to be You>Value, her value may keep you from progressing with others and then it's just not worth it.

 

[DKD]

From that you clearly don't want to be friends. Don't be the guy she friend-zoned hoping to get with her for the rest of his days while others actually get.

This is the situation exactly and I dont want this anymore.

 

[Clout]

This is the situation exactly and I dont want this anymore.

If that is the case do invite her out, flirt & light touch, get her alone and escalate. You have nothing to loose and get exactly what you want either way. I would act and not talk as I feel it provides less resistance (emotion than logic). Read Chases newest framing article (will keep you firm on what you want). Good luck

 

[DKD]

Cheers Clout, I guess I am going for this one. The plan is get her out, tell her and wait for the response. Simple, effective. If it goes too bad, pick myself up and go out to sea. Plenty of other fish out there !