Just a man, with a man's courage...

[bobbyb112]

While you were working today, somewhere, deep in the milky way galaxy, near where Andromeda meets the scorpion Pisces, and the star constellation children of leo throw rocks at passing asteroids and other figures of ancient mythology danced and sang, one of those planets shifted ever so slightly and sent a ripple, a cosmic bolt through space and time hurtling towards earth, so that for a split second the true meaning of life and the universe came in a blindingly brilliant flash of insight and was beheld for but a split second in one person's mind: I gotta get laid. With a philosophical flourish Cato falls on his sword. I calmly approach a woman.

While walking around the streets today, I thought of a tongue in cheek explanation for why you approached a girl. If she's thinking, why did you approach me? One answer is "in a cosmic sense, our starts were aligned. In a practical sense, you were right in front of me." So, if you're waiting for the stars to align, try putting yourself in front of her first, just in case.

Today I went out after work and walked around. I eventually found a girl who was walking a dog. I walked up to her from the front and said "are you single?" "yes" "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi, I'm James"; held out my hand to hold it. She said "my hand it hurt from something, but here," and shakes with left hand. I went to the dog and said what's his or her name?" "(Something)".

I"m going to skip dialogue for now, but I'll say the substance. I found out some facts, like that she walks the dog twice a day, in the morning and night, just left her job as a PT and is applying to dental school, lives in the area where I approached her. Likes exercise. She asked about what I did and I gave a sort of vague answer.

This was all pretty surface-level stuff and the sort of stuff you want to get off of. It was better than my last conversation, but you want to get onto something she is passionate about. Everybody has something. Your job is to find it.

What was good was that I was calm and didn't rush of even really feel nervous. That's good. But you want to find something she finds interesting. For two reasons. One, it gets her investing, and two, you don't want to talk to boring people. For example at work, you can't really have good, substantive conversations. But this isn't work! And you want to come across as a passionate lover, and talking to her about these things is what forms the connection, for both you and her.

Ask explanatory questions; "how is that?" "What's that like?" "Why did you do that?" Second-level questions. This is the essence of deep-diving.

You want to form a connection because that is where the spark is. And it's about making an impression. Being a conversationalist, as CA says. Big part of it.

Another point might be warming up. This was the only girl I approached, after a day of sitting in front of the computer. So that is why warmups can help. But also being in a good mood in general, because that helps, and then you don't have to "turn it on" when you want to socialize or approach. Just be in a good mood in general. Which is probably good advice for life in general.

I wonder how away or close you want to stay. I was standing a little far away, so her little dog on its leash was in between us. I'm not sure how much touching you want to do on a street stop, but I did basically none, so maybe more than that.

After a minute or two I said we should grab a coffee sometime and had her put her number in my phone. Then we kept talking some more. I like this get the number and then keep talking, because then it feels more natural. You aren't just there to get the number and run, but you are just talking. Which of course you are.

I'm also glad with this one I stayed through a slightly quiet part to keep talking. This was around 7:30-8 at night so she likely had some time. So if you're not sure what to do, or are convinced the interaction won't lead anywhere, stay and burn it to the ground. This is maybe Chase's advice to try to get some rejections. Although I don't think being polarizing is a problem for me. But still might be worth it.

Another point: walking near the busier streets is better. I tend to want to explore the side streets. Which can be good, but then you can away from where the girls are, i.e. the big streets. So maybe one side street away from the big street, but then go back, because you want to remember why you're there!

Another point is that it was a relatively quick approach, in that I turned a corner and saw her coming, rather than seeing her from up the street. I wonder if this affects things, because she might see you seeing her coming. Or if you pretend not to notice her and instead use your periphery then it works better? Anyway, by not having as much time in between, you don't let yourself get psyched out, which is good.

Another point is fashion. Make sure it fits, and make sure the color scheme is what you want. And red is good. And layers is good. A jacket is good, although that seems a little harder in the warmer weather. And always wear a button-down shirt when going to meet girls. CA (Chase Amante).

I texted her maybe an hour after talking to her, saying "Hi this is ___... save my number." A la Ricardus's article. Keep it simple. Texting is for logistics, not conversing or entertainment.

The nice part about an opener like "are you single?" is that is just opens the conversation. It doesn't really matter what she says. You are going to move off of it anyway. So if she says yes, no, maybe, or stammers, go with it, and start talking. But then you say "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi, I'm ..." This is good because it gets it out on the table why are there. Keep in mind too that it is a relative compliment, so you are giving her something. At the worst she will be a little flattered. The "are you single" gets her to pay attention and think about it. That sort of thing is important to girls, so she can hardly resist answering it. At least in most cases. It's like marketing, where you get the prospect to see or imagine something about the problem you are trying to solve. And I'm hesitant to say that it is like an advertisement, but what else are you doing? You are advertising your capabilities as a lover. And she is advertising her capabilities as a, well, lover, by wearing sexy clothing, or revealing clothing. Not to mention all the other visual stuff, like makeup, nice clothes, etc. Because visual is important to get guys to approach.

So anyway, it is a good opener.

She asked about what I did and where I lived, which is good because she was contributing to the conversation. But, it was rather surface-level and boring topics, which isn't good. She could have been being polite. That's a worry, because you wonder was she interested enough to meet on a date? Would grabbing a bite to eat with her be exciting? Answer being, no, if there was little connection. Which is why you want to have a meaningful connection.

At the same time, don't make a street meet go too long. If you do, it feels like it ought to move forward, but then if you don't, then it can get stale. Of course, you can do an instant date if you want. But the point is to keep it crisp. But also make a connection, so she will remember you later.

Another point is that this girl was one going to dental school. The one yesterday I met was an economics consultant. Are you going to find this kind of girl at night in a bar or club? Maybe. But it's probably easier during the daytime in the street.

But clubs and bars have their good points as well, because you can meet more girls and go from meet to sex fast. Between daygame and nightgame, the skills largely overlap, but you'll likely find more ambitious girls during the day. So, use each for what you want.

Another point is posture. Mine was pretty straight and relaxed, which is good. Always something to work on.

For facial expressions, I tried having the cute and sexy look more when I was walking around and talking to her. It's only anecdotal evidence so far, but I think the cute and sexy look does a lot for your attractiveness and sexiness. I had a heck of a time figuring it out for a while, but not that I have, it seems to be good. I'll go into that another time.

 

[bobbyb112]

I went out today after work and walked around to approach. I approached three girls. The takeaway after the first one was to commit more. You can't worm your way up and say something. If you're going to say it, say it. So, that was the first one. The second one, the takeaway was to smile. For a cold street approach, you don't want to come across as serious. You want to smile a lot. Chase says that guys who do well with street approaches either naturally have or adopt a "friendly dog" personality. Smiling and talkative. Talkative is good for street approach because you want to overcome any initial awkwardness. Power through it by talking, I think the article says.

I have no idea why these details would be relevant, but I'll include them while I'm writing this. She was tall, taller than me, so maybe 6 feet. She had blond hair and looked about college aged. There were some other people walking behind and to the side of her, but it didn't seem like she was with them, and they kept going.

So anyway, it went like this. The first I was on a more main street. She was walking the other direction. I walked up from slightly to the side of the front and said "hey, hi". She had her earphones in so she took one out. I waited and then said "are you single?" She said "no." "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi." "Oh that's sweet," starting to walk away. I hit the eject button and said "have a good night" and turned to go. My delivery was weak, and didn't command attention. You want to command attention.

#2 details: She had brown hair and was maybe mid to late 20s. Nobody else was near that I could tell on the sidewalk. This will be relevant later.

The second, it was also on a more main street, and she was walking the other direction. I went up more in front of her and said "hey, hi". She stopped. I said "are you single?" "No" "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi" "Thanks" and she starts to walk to the side of me. I said "I'm bobbyb112" but she kept walking, so I let it go. Here, in my delivery I had a more serious face. As said before, I believe you want a more smiling approach for a street stop, because she wants to know that you're at least normal. And people like smiling people. Fact.

On the third, she was college aged and not wearing anything fancy. This was a Friday around 9 pm. She was walking and there wasn't really anyone else around. I waved a little and said "hey, hi" She stopped. Now, she stopped right in the middle of a driveway and I was worried that a car would come, so I said "stop right over in that island" pointing to the area between the driveways. She didn't move. I said "are you single?" "No" "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi" "And I'm a lesbian!" and started walking a away. "Oh really!" I said, and turned to walk away as well. A bitchy, horny lesbian! Whoever it is must not be getting the job done But anyway, obviously the part about moving didn't need to be done. The point there is to stay on target. I said it kind of cutely, but it just distracted from the message.

A few things. I wonder where the best streets are to street approach girls are. Is it the main, busy shopping street? Or is a smaller street right off of it?

Another question or hurdle is that you can't worry about what other people think. For example, don't worry about other people walking by. They'll hear a snippet of it, and either not care, or think "nice" because it's ballsy. And of course no sane person is going to begrudge you for approaching a girl. Unless it's a conservative area. But in a big, western city, isn't that your job, you young stud? So don't worry about people around. Assuming they don't know her if she's with people she knows, then of course this is different. But if she's on her own, she doesn't have any ties to the people around her either. And this is the beauty of street game. Because you can approach without her having to worry about what her friends will think. Be a little shameless in your approaches.

Another question how doable it is to stop her on a street with a lot of people, or people moving. Will she be willing to move out of the flow of traffic? If she doesn't know anyone there, I don't see why not. Or is it harder to approach when there is a lot foot traffic? Is it easier to approach when she is the only or one of a few on the street?

I also wore a tight-fitting button up shirt from Guess, and dark jeans. I think I got more looks than I normally do. It can be polarizing, because people might think "oh he's on a mission" and either screen in or out. But this is what you want, because you are looking for what you want, and polarizing can help you do that more. Plus, not a lot of guys in the US wear tight-fitting clothing. It stands out, in a good way. The downside for me was that it feels like if I bend my arm too much, the sleeves will rip. But hey, you don't wear a shirt when doing the deed, do you?

What else. I also wore my "oxford sneakers." I'm so glad a found them. Just good looking sneakers. If you need straightforward, relatively stylish sneakers, type in "oxford sneakers" to amazon or google. And find some you'd be glad wearing. Mine were $30 and I like them because they are the stylish level I want right now.

I want to read the article on "nighttime street approach." Does this mean after bars and clubs have closed, like late at night? Or around 9 pm, when it's dark but not really that late?

You want to make sure to be on streets with street lights when it's dark out. That you and her feel safer, making it easier to talk.

For eye contact, there's also the matter of how you do it for a approach when she's walking toward you. Do you look in the distance and try to see if she's cute in your periphery, then look at her when you go in to approach? How do you not let her see you seeing her from a distance, since she's looking your way too?

That was all warm up. Here's where my thoughts are really taking me on how to seduce good. So, I've done a little sales, and in what little sales I've done you want to sound excited and like you have a bottled up energy when you talk on the phone. So, right before the call, I get in my little zone of how to sound energetic and like I have this bottled excitement on the phone. I don't know if it's just a physical cue for me, but, what I do in particular is bend my wrist toward my pinky. Just slightly. For some reason this makes me sound more communicative, and better tone, and more playful. It works for me. I remembered this, and did it in the third approach, and I was noticeably much more peppy and playful. Peppy meaning energy you can channel however you want, whether that is brooding guy, mysterious guy, suave guy, etc. This physical cue works for me, and I think it works for other people too. If you're reading this, try it. And donate any proceeds from your subsequent world domination your local church, hospital, or Girlschase for setting up such a happening place! Do with this what you will. I will be doing it.

You get the feeling out and about that if you meet enough girls, eventually you would find one who would go home with you. And that is good, because it means all you have to do is keep meeting girls. And get your process down.

For approaching when she's walking toward you, Ricardus you want to start talking when she is 10-20 feet away or so so she has time to stop and not let her momentum carry her ahead. I was trying to do this, and maybe it works with the right delivery, which I'm also still working on. But you want to start talking when she is far enough away so that she has time to stop.

Another question is if she is wearing headphones. Does that mean she is listening to music and not something important? Or is she on a phone call? Or is it an audiobook she is engrossed in? I wonder, because I use headphones for audiobooks, and it might take a second or two to take it out and listen to what someone is saying. Then again, talking with someone is generally more interesting than an audiobook, so I would do it. It's just one more thing you might have to overcome.

What about if she is talking on the phone? I saw a lot of girls talking on the phone when out and about. Is there a way you can do this? Is it worth doing this? Do you playfully insist that she call back later? I'm sure you could pull it off if you wanted.

Is there a good way to talk to girls at a nighttime venue? Lounges where the music isn't so loud, so you can sit a couches and talk? Might be worth exploring.

Can you approach women on your lunch break? In the downtown business district, what are the odds an office mate of hers would see it? I think it's safe to assume not too high, since there are so many people and anyone only knows a small handful from their own office. Again, the anonymity of cities is a plus. Then again, if you did it enough I'm sure someone from your office would. Then again, would they care? Probably not, if done well. Oh the office.

Does the opener "are you single" ever get tired? Maybe to you, if you say it a bunch. But not to her, who's hearing it for the first time. So don't get bored of it yourself, if it works. If so, you can try compliment openers.

So the checklist for next time is dress well, go to the right places, use the cue to be playful, talk to enough girls until you find one who is into it, and go from there.

More notes. I like Chase's articles on facial expressions because they are ones that I have recognized from using in the past. All spot on. I wonder if it's easier to use these consciously, or to just be natural with it and let them happen naturally. Uh oh, here we come to a "natural" vs "pua" debate. Not going there.

What I am going with is the process. You want to be pushing things forward. For two reasons. One is because you want the forward momentum, and it is not going to push itself forward without you. The other is because your time is valuable. Or at least it better be. My time is. Act like it in your seductions! And this is where Chase's concept of escalation windows comes in. Because if you're not already, you want to be pushing it forward as fast as you can, which also means you are jumping through the escalation windows. I tend to try to move faster with things anyway, so this feels about right. You don't have all day to talk to girls. Get it while it's there to get, and get onto important stuff!

But for the process, the big steps are first to approach, then go either number close or instant date, then date, then home, then sex. Those are the big steps.

The question is how can I approach a lot of women during the day without walking a lot? Do you stay in a busy foot traffic area and stop girls? Does this work, or is she more on guard when there are more people around? Do you go somewhere with high turnover so new girls are coming in every few minutes? I want to do this rather than night game because I don't like staying up late, drinking, or paying for cover or drinks. But the plus is you might have more in one place. But you also can't talk to them as much. So balances.

 

[bobbyb112]

Today I went out after doing some work and approached two girls. The first one was coming the other direction on a street with nobody around us. I tried not to look at her, and then when she was about ten feet away I veered into her path and said "hi, hey." She slowed down. "Are you single?" She sort of smiled and said "no" and started to keep walking. I said "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi," but she kept going. A good warm up. My takeaway there was one to just get going. Just approach any girl. You are just warming up, essentially.

The next one was an a street next to a park. She was coming the other way, and there was nobody close. I said "hi, hey" when she was about 15 or 20 feet away. She stopped about five feet away and I said "are you single?" She started laughing nervously "haha no" and sort of kept walking. I said "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi" but she kept going slowly, still laughing nervously.

My takeaway from this one was to stay in your "masculine core." That is, own what you are saying, let it land, and let her stop. If she's interested, she'll stop. So say it, stop and let her answer. At least that's the plan. But the masculine core part was one I took away. Whenever you are approaching, she is cute and silly, and you are coming to say hi and give a compliment. Nothing more.

This isn't a large enough sample size, but clearly it is a numbers game. I remember in one of Ricardus's articles he said he went out and talked to ten girls, got two numbers, and both of them ended up becoming lovers. First, only talk to ten girls to find not one but two to become lovers? Sounds like a deal! The other point is that he has been doing it for a while, is a master etc. and he still has to talk to ten to find one or two that he'll hit it off with. Which is fine, because it's not like you're putting a lot of time and effort into those. Or just time. You see if they are interested, and if not, no big deal. You'll find one who is.

But anyway, this means I need to do a lot more approaches. I'm wondering, does it work to approach girls in crowded streets? The reason I ask is because that's where the sheer number of girls and people are, so there are more to approach there. The flip side is that she might get sucked in the flow of traffic. Where is the best place to approach for street approaching? I'll stick to the busier streets, and right nearby, as I have been. Don't want to walk all over creation looking for a girl to approach.

But it is coming easier. Like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets.

I also semi-approached two other women. One I walked up to and tapped her arm and she turned, and she was older. I aborted the mission and instead said something "are you from..." She smiled and said "probably not." It was funny. At least to me. I might as well have given the normal opener. She was in shape and had nice hair!

Another women was walking pretty slowly and I walked up to the side and tapped her on the arm. But just as I did this, she sort of tripped on the sidewalk. When she looked at me, it looked like I was keeping her from falling. So I went with it, because she was also older. But again, at night, in good shape, and had nice hair. Probably dyed, but at night you can't really tell. So anyway, those where good that I approached and got there attention, but didn't get to the opener.

For the masculine core thing, it is largely about posture and fundamentals. You walk with your back straight, or mostly straight, your head up, and a slight swagger in your walk. You are calm, because you know you are a man and make stuff happen. Another part of it is voice tone. You want it to be smooth and purring. I have been too in my head to worry about voice tone so far, but after the second approach I remembered it and started working on it in my head as I walked. You want it to be smooth and almost purring. And this goes with the masculine core.

Walk is one I want to work on. Because I tend to have a walk where my shoulders don't swagger too much. And I tend to walk faster, because I have places to go and things to do. But if you slow it down, you can gain more attention. At least when you want to, like when walking down the street to approach girls. How much swagger is the right amount?

When approaching from the front, when you start talking do you position yourself right in front of her? Or slightly to the side? And how close? Do you start off farther and then get closer? Or is being kind of far okay for getting a number? Might be overthinking but worth figuring out.

Now I'll talk about an article I read and compare it with my experiences. It is the 7 approach invitations article by Chase. One the hover. This is when the girl comes and seems to hover around you, then flit off. I remember this happening in a subway station. She came over, hung around for a second, then moved farther away. This is putting herself in the vicinity to talk. Actually, the next is from the article on how to spot girls looking to be approached. It says that less experienced girls unconsciously adjust their hair to look better. I remember many times when girls would do this in high school. Just, unconsciously, they would adjust their hair when you looked at them. Even today, a younger girl did this when she was passing on the street.

Another is the look around. If she stops and looks up and around, she may be looking for some guy to approach her. Do.

Another note is that when cold-calling for a sales job, you wanted to make sure to be ready when making the call. Getting in ready position, as I called it. It was being ready with your body language, and your voice. You don't want to pounce on them, but just eagerly waiting to talk. You want to do this with approaching too. That is, be ready, and be in ready position. This is a contact sport, folks, and you want to be ready for it.

Another basic to revisit is eye contact. You want to not look at her, or see you looking at her, before you approach. This is because it sets up a small chasing frame, whereas you want her to look first, or neutral, so she it doesn't feel like you are in the chasing role. When walking towards each other see her in your periphery from far away, and then don't look at her until you start talking, maybe 10-20 feet away.

I've been saying "hey, hi" when getting her attention, but maybe just saying one of those is better, while using good eye contact. Said right, one might be better.

Another mindset to have is "pull mentality." I think that just means knowing what you want and what next steps are for an interaction. Namely either a number or instant date. Be mentally prepared to either get a phone number or instant date, whichever the situation calls for.

The masculine core and voice tone are real fundamentals that are important. You could say it's everything, but approaching is also important.

Hair style is one I might revisit. Maybe go to a stylist and ask for "something sexy."

An important fundamental is voice tone. Make sure it is right. The nice part about having the right voice tone is that it comes out of having the right fundamentals, and being in your masculine core. They all go together. Which makes sense.

For clothes, I might bet tighter fitting pants. The ones I have now are slim and rather comfy, but maybe tighter would be better.

Let's talk about vibe. Again, it's the masculine core. Calm, cool, collected. That sort of thing.

 

[bobbyb112]

I didn't approach any girls today, but I will write about one I did the other week. It was during my lunch break downtown. I often go to a park downtown and eat on a bench, and that's what I did that day. I sat on the bench and ate. Part way through, I realized there was a cute enough girl sitting to my side, a little ways away on the bench. After I finished eating, I sat for a bit, then I turned and looked at her and reached over and tapped her shoulder and said "hi." She turned and I said "are you single?" She said "No, I'm married." "Oh. Do you work around here?" Then we went on talking for a bit with her telling me about her job and the job she last had. I didn't get much closer on the bench, ie physical proximity, and just let her go on talking for a while. It was pretty platonic, and I even got bored about halfway through. I decided not to push it too much further, because she was married. Looking back, I also didn't add the second part of the opener, which is "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi," which lets her know why you are asking. In any case, the takeaway from this one might be that girls like attention and being listened to, and are more than glad to talk in general. She was sitting on the bench, probably for lunch, so it wasn't like a street stop where you are getting her to snap out of autopilot and her to do list. But still.

I was wondering about how you can get approaches in as it turns to fall, and the days get shorter. Does approaching at 6 pm work if it's already dark out? Or when it gets colder? I remember an article and it makes sense that people generally go out less when it's colder. But that's no excuse, and sex never goes out of season.

But still, does approaching from, say 5-7 pm work when it gets colder and darker out? Survey says, yes.

I also thought about maybe doing more night game in bars and clubs as you can be inside. Then again, there will be fewer people. And I like day game for all the regular benefits, like smarter, more conservative girls, and not having to pay for drinks or stay out late.

I was also thinking about the approaches I like doing. The approach from head-on can be convenient because then you can approach whenever a girl is walking towards you. But I also read a forum post by Chase where he said he preferred walking up alongside a girl and opening that way. I also like this way, because it is more subtle. Now, I need to make sure to be out and in places where there are plenty of girls so I can have some to walk up and alongside. Maybe I'll resolve to approach while coming home from work in my work clothes, although I don't love this idea because then it sets you up as perhaps a boyfriend instead of a lover. But for the convenience, it might be worth it.

Again, I like the street approach where you walk up alongside and then open. It looks a lot more subtle than a front approach. Or definitely a circle-around approach, which I haven't tried yet. But all good ones to try. But can you walk up alongside a girl if she is much ahead of you? Or do you job up, then walk? Or job up and slow down right as you get to her, and then open? Probably not a big deal, but worth thinking about.

How can I have more time to approach girls during the day? In general, there are fewer girls to approach during the day than, say, at night. Which is a downside. Maybe I can approach at lunch. Just have to make sure to go to less busy streets.

And that was another point, which was that there is a forum post by Chase where he says that less busy streets, rather than big shopping streets have worked better in his experience, probably because the girl is more likely to have time, rather than getting shopping done or what have you. But then there is the issue of finding those streets with those girls. Maybe we can stock city streets with girls like they do game ponds with fish? Like, only let girls leave from work staggered, so that there is a constant stream of them walking by so guys can approach? Or maybe every five minutes send a wave, so I can just stay in one place and talk to a new girl every five minutes? How can we make this happen? Jkjk.

But anyway, walking up from beside, less busy streets, daytime.

Another point is to go out with the mindset to pull. Pull can mean getting numbers, or actually pulling. There's no reason not to whenever you go out, and if you go out with the intention of doing it, you'll find ways to make it happen. Play to win. Commit.

 

[bobbyb112]

Quick one. When approaching, do you use a lead-in line? For example, "I saw you walking here and had to tell you that..." compliment. I've been going up and my words are verbatim "hi, hey. Are you single?" Do you want to use a lead-in line? Would it be good because you get them to pay a little more attention?

For example, I watched a pickup video of a British fellow and he would say "hi, is it alright if I say something a little cheeky?" And the girl would excitedly answer "yes". Well, this is a real green light to go ahead, if she is already excited. Then again, you would probably just go ahead anyway. But the point is, do you want that lead-in?

Let's say I'm using "are you single?" as the opener. Do I walk up to her and say "I saw you walking there and I had to come ask, are you single?" or do I just go right in with it "are you single?"

Didn't approach today, but I'll describe an "approach" with a girl I did while in college. It was for an extracurricular group and we were outside on a field trip, as it were. We were doing some activities together. At the end of one, when walking, I started asking her some of the questions from the 8 questions to ask a girl article by Chase. She answered them, which is good. Then we rejoined the group. The next semester or so I bumped into her in a stairwell and she said something like how are you doing and I said busy. She seemed excited. But I had to do stuff so nothing came of that. Oh well. But the questions definitely at least worked to get the conversation going. It's good to have a girl tell you things about herself. She is investing. And you want to see if she will invest. Of course it doesn't count as an approach, but still shows that the questions can be used to build good rapport! And as far as moving it ahead, obviously you could do all sorts of things like suggest hanging out, but my head was elsewhere at the time. Live and learn!

 

[foggy]

Quick one. When approaching, do you use a lead-in line? For example, "I saw you walking here and had to tell you that..." compliment. I've been going up and my words are verbatim "hi, hey. Are you single?" Do you want to use a lead-in line? Would it be good because you get them to pay a little more attention?

Lead in lines are an excellent idea. Walking up to a girl and delivering your opener right off the bat is just unnatural. It's also abrupt. You wanna make sure you got her attention and help her ease into being social before droppin the bomb.

I've experimented with a few different strategies. Right now what I'm doing is saying "hey" while I'm walking up to her, then saying my opener. In the past, I've focussed on building anticipation in my lead in. like: hey...hows it going....i got to tell u something, are you ready to hear it? yeah? okay...i saw you and i had to come say hi! thought you were cute.

I've even see guys lead in with something like "i dont usually do this, but..." which is excellent because it creates feelings of spontaneity and uniqueness. You don't want the girl to have any doubts in her head that she's just another girl you're running your lines on

 

[bobbyb112]

Thank you songbird fog! I agree and that makes sense... and every mistake is worth making at least once!

FWIW, I found a good video of a pickup artist doing like 10 daygame approaches where he gets the number, and they all have some variation of the lead in line. Some were "Hi. This is really random, but..." "Hi, I saw you walking there and had to tell you that..." "Excuse me, but I saw you sitting there and had to come tell you..." "Hey, can I say something rather cheeky?" "Hey, I see your on the phone but can I tell you something?" Then delivers the compliment. She smiles and says thank you. And he continues talking. Maybe I'll do some deeper analysis another time.

I'm going to do some more general analysis because I've been thinking about it a lot and I want to organize my thoughts.

When you are getting the number from the girl, what is the thing you have to have to make it so she'll want to meet up later? Articles say it comes down to making a strong impression. Which is fundamentals, body language, and style. That is, you don't have to have incredibly deep conversations for her to want to meet up later. For her, the two things are really a. that you're normal and b. that you're attractive. If you can check both of these boxes, that's all you need for a number, it seems.

And similarly for you, you are trying to see if a. the girl is attractive and b. if she is normal or not crazy. Those are all you need to know to want to meet up later. You aren't trying to form a deep connection on the approach on a street. Rather, you are seeing if it would be worth it to meet up again to get to know each other more. If attraction is there on both sides, and both of you know the other is normal/not crazy, then this doable. Then, on the "date" of meet up, you are seeing if there is a deeper connection there.

On the date, what you are doing is seeing if she would be worth seeing again after sex. If she isn't, you can still have sex, but you might not want to see her again. What she is seeing is if your value is high enough and if you are attainable. Value comes from being comfortable with women, because this means you are used to women being around and you know how to talk to them and move things forward. This establishes your value. Next comes if you are attainable. If you are winnable. Can you be won? If so, then you're attainability is right.

You want to set expectations well. This means coming across as a lover so that she knows that the only real value on the table is sex. Another thing she is wondering is "is the juice worth the squeeze about having sex with this guy?" Her main concern here is her reputation. Will sleeping with him harm my reputation at all? The is the most important thing to her, so it is her biggest consideration. So if the only value the guy offers is sex, and he seems valuable in that area, and he is attainable, then she will go with it.

By coming across as the lover, you are making sex easier because you are removing other things like boyfriend value. So the decision is easier. By coming across as the lover and not providing any boyfriend (or husband) value you are leaving only sex. And of course the good thing about cold approach is that you two don't really know any of the same people, so that part of reputation management is okay.

So her thought process might be even "well, he seems good and I can get him, and my reputation won't be harmed, so I'll play along."

Then comes the connection. Because you can create a connection and she actually values this a lot. As most people do. But you can remove the risk and make yourself attainable, but then really build a connection by having her tell you things about her. The ironic part is that she can tell you all these things and then feel like you have a great connection, but you may not because you didn't tell her much.

So, all this means you want to play the lover. How do you do that when talking about, say, your job? I think there's an article on that.

But you want to play the lover because then all that's on the table is lover value. But if your lover value is good, then this is valuable in itself, and she will want to participate, ie tell you things about herself and invest. But it's good because it lowers the criteria for you, too. So be the lover and communicate this. Set lover frames. If she's open to that, and most girls are, then she'll go for it.

But on the date or meet up, you want to have value and be attainable. This means being comfortable with her, and not being a dick. Being comfortable and engaging, how to talk to a women, but not being overly a dick. This is the middle way, the golden path.

And you want to form that connection on the date. You don't do this when gathering numbers. Gathering numbers is just showing that your're normal, she's normal, and you're both attracted to each other. That is enough to want to talk more. On the date, you can get into deep things, like her dreams, goals, or aspirations. People love talking about this stuff because they mostly can't with the people they see every day. Most people they talk to every day are people at work, family, or friends, and chances are you can't talk about things you *really* want to accomplish in life with people at work because that's just not what you talk about there, family because they usually want the least risky approach to life, and friends because they see you one way and wouldn't want you to change. But with a lover who just met and don't know and doesn't know anyone you know, you can tell them what you really want or your dreams and goals. This is valuable in itself. And then of course you feel connected to the other person and if they are non-judgmental then that is very enjoyable for them.

And this non-judgmentalness is key, because then you can be non-judgmental about sex for one, but dreams and aspirations as another. Being non-judgmental is the biggest, because of all the societal baggage around sex. But as a non-judgmental guy, she can let herself go around you, and in the bedroom. Being non-judgmental is a breath of fresh air and big in letting her be open to you. So, to be the lover, be physically and fashionally attractive (step 0), be non-judgmental, and let her talk. I.e. tell little about yourself, and if you do make it lover-esque. That way you seem more "mysterious" and lover-y.

 

[bobbyb112]

Today I approached a girl. It was sunny out, around 70 degrees F, and on a street next to a park. There were not a lot of people walking around.

I was walking along and she crossed the street in the opposite direction. When she got closer I said "hi, can I ask you a question?" and put up my hand. She stopped and said "yes." "Are you single?" I think she said no. I said "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi, I'm bobby112" and I put out my hand. She shoot it, but I tried to make it more like just holding her hand, a la the hand clasp because it is more romantic whereas a shake is more formal.

She said "where are you from?" I said "around the area, what about you? You sound like you might have kind of an accent." "Oh, no. I'm from (town nearby), but I'm living in (district near downtown). Where are you living?" "I'm out towards (area)." She sort of started to walk around and away, but decided to keep talking and said "what are you doing now?" "I'm going to meet up with my boyfriend actually." "It looks looks like you are running" pointing towards her clothes which sort of looked like workout clothes. "Well I'm going to get ready, then meeting having lunch with him." By this point she had walked just past me before stopping again. I decided to let her go and said "okay, have a good day."

So, first things first, the lead-in line seemed to work, because it got her attention and made her stop before I asked "are you single?" This is good because then it isn't as abrupt, and she will listen to what you are saying. Having her stop and pay attention to you before opening seems like a good idea. It felt less rushed.

After giving the compliment, besides the fact that she asked a question first, I didn't really know where to take it. The answer is that you tease her about something, or ask what she's doing, and then tease. Keep it light. With the where do you live questions, it is more formal and polite, which isn't good.

Which brings up another point. I want to be standing closer so that it ramps up the vibe more. Can you stand closely in a cold-approach? Do you get attention, and then move closer? The problem is when you stand too far away it seems to formal. The real question being how do you ramp up the vibe? The answer I think is to stand closer.

Another thing I wonder is if her asking where I live mean she is contributing to the conversation? Or is it a polite chit-chat before trying to move on. Which is of course why you want to move it forward to see if it is interest or just being polite.

So the next thing to do after opening is to tease. Then more serious questions. Then tease. Then serious question. And so forth, moving towards more serious. On a high note, say you should meet up again, and if she agrees have her give you her contact info. Then keep talking, then part ways.

But I think the real thing you want to do is make the interaction sexual. More than asking if she's single. You can do this by standing closer, and eventually touching more. You want to polarize. Make the interaction sexual, and she can see if she's into it. I think Ricardus had an article that said there are three overall things you have to do to sleep with a woman. First is make the interaction sexual. Second is get her comfortable with you. Third is get her alone with you. Something like that. The point is that you want to make it more sexual to see if she's interested. Have I said this enough?

And this might have to do with fundamentals as well. Part of the reason why I like standing closer is because you can use a quieter, lower, more "purring" voice. Which is sexy. When you're standing far away you can't do this as well. So will girls resist this when street approaching? Only one way to find out.

You want to get close because then she knows you mean business. And perhaps more importantly, you know you mean business. Because you aren't there to have a conversation. You are there to seduce. You are there to move the interaction forward. Not to just chat. It's like in sales, be a closer and not a conversationalist. Always be moving it forward. The girls who respond well to you will like it.

Another question is if you can approach in crowded areas. Watching some other pickup videos on youtube, it looks like you can. I guess I might as well try it then!

Watching that youtube video as well, he was saying that after the compliment, you want to say observations until she hooks. Say assumptive observations about what she is wearing or how she looks. When she hooks, vibe with that. That means saying "oh you're from there. I heard the people there were great, yada yada..." Have her invest by asking what's she's doing in the city. Then suggest a meet up later and get a number, since you're trying to make it swift. Then maybe talk a little, then part ways.

I guess the point there is about making observations. You look like... and then say random stuff. This is a good way to not invest too much yourself, but still give her attention, and give something to get the conversation going off. And it doesn't really matter what you say here, as long as it's random and somewhat related to what she's wearing or how she looks.

The hook point is when she invests in the conversation. For example asking a question. So when she "hooks," or invests, ask for more investment, like asking what she is doing in the city. Talk about that for a little bit. Then suggest a meet up, get contact info, talk a little more, and then leave. Part of this for me is knowing when you can move it forward and when to get out.

Ideally you would be able to do this all in the least amount of time possible. Which can be done, as you aren't getting into too deep conversation then and there. Instead, the goal in the approach is to hook her. Then suggest meeting up later and get contact info. When you text later about meeting up, she is going to think "was this guy worth meeting up with?" And the answer is if she hooked in the conversation, that is like her raising her hand and saying yes, I am at least a little interested in talking more.

So if you get to the hook point, have her invest a little, and then suggest meeting up and grab contact info. This way, you are being efficient by not over-selling the date. But you need to test to see how much is too much or too little. Based on the youtube video, it seems like you need a little, but not a ton. Also in the video, he had getting the number as being the close, the end of the interaction. I remember an article by Chase saying you want to keep talking afterward, so that it doesn't seem like you talked to her just to get the number.

So, after opening, just make observations and assumptions and riff off her answers until she hooks. Then after she hooks, have her invest more. Ask what she's doing in the city. Then, after a little, suggest the meet up. The five steps for a street approach from the video were open, stack, vibe, invest, close. Seems like a good process.

Based on all that, it seems like the girl I approached did hook. She asked where I was from. I was kind of taken back, because it's such a boring question, but I tried to roll with it anyway. Maybe the escalation window expired and she thought "if he's just going to go backwards and not move it forward, then I'm out of here." So after the hook, you want to have her invest by having her tell you why she is in the city. I think that's what happened, because I started to bring it backwards by asking boring questions. Be ready for it! Have a pull mentality. Know what you're next steps are. Escalate when she's ready (it might be sooner than you think). Strike when the iron is hot. Get her number! Keep it brisk.

In another video I watched, he demonstrated a street stop, and said you want to get close to the girl. Another part was intense eye contact right at the beginning. Strong eye contact is good.

 

[bobbyb112]

Today I approached a girl while waiting for the train. The previous train was leaving and we both missed it but she was walking ahead and she sat down. I saw her and decided to approach. I walked past her, sort of waited, and then turned to her and said "going anywhere exciting?" She had headphones in so I think she said something like "huh?" I said "going anywhere exciting?" making sure to smile more. "No, just the library." She told me how she wanted to be an occupational therapist because she liked helping people, and help them get the most out of their lives, and how it can be hard to get used to all the noise in the city because she was from a small town, and you can't see the stars in the city.

I'll spare you the details, but I tell my takeaways. One was to smile. She was taking out her headphones, and I made sure to smile more to make it seem friendly. Girls like serious guys in general, but not when you're starting a conversation during the day. So smiling here was good.

Another point was that asking deeper questions was good, in general. For example, she said she wanted to be an occupational therapist, so I said "what appeals to you about that job?" (not confrontational, more just wondering, the wording sounds like it might be confrontational here, but rather it was curious). This is going deeper with what she says. Why does she want to do that? What appeals to her about it? This gets you beyond the surface level.

Another point about being a conversationalist is that you have to be a good listener. I know this sounds trite, but you really want to think about what she is saying. Part of this is experience. Part of it is being comfortable in the conversation and situation. And I'll share my thoughts on how to do that in a bit. But if you stopped a girl in the street and got to the hook point for the first or second time, you might be thinking "shoot, what do I say now?" So if you can be in the moment and go with it, then you can really listen to what she is saying and go off of it.

I like the article by Chase that talks about the three big style of learning game. They are the hedonist, romantic, and technician. You can be a combination of each and different ones at different times, but he says that roughly 80 percent of people are predominantly the romantic, around 15% hedonist, and 5% (or less) technician. I like this because like most people I want to "know myself." But more than that, I think I am often the hedonist. And I'll tell you why.

Often I am motivated by the desire to touch and feel, rather than, say, romance or technical jargon-talk. And so it is.

So that brings me to what I think is vital to making better conversation. And that is being in the moment. If you can be in the moment, you can vibe and go off of what she is saying. You aren't thinking about what you are going to say next. Instead, you are feeling the moment and what she is giving you, and what you want to know.

So anyway, when I was going out I was feeling it. What is it? The world. The air. The smells. The vibes. How do you do this? I'll get to that in a minute.

An interesting exercise you might do is to imagine what it is like to be a girl. How would you want to be approached (in the fantasy novel kind of way, not the what she would tell you way)? Imagine you are a girl and a guy walks up in front of you and says something. How would you want that to happen? What would feel the most natural? I think if you literally imagine yourself as a girl being approached, you can backwards-solve for how would be the most natural way for it to happen.

You'd probably not want him to startle you, so don't walk up from behind. You'd probably want him to say his intentions, rather than beat around the bush, because you both know why he's there and you'd rather just be on the same page or not. You'd probably appreciate a compliment on something you put some time into. Even I can't resist a good compliment about something I've spent time on. And girls spend more time on their fashion than men. So that is a good one. You might want him to ask real questions about you, rather than deep questions. Or, maybe, suggest talking about deeper stuff at a later time, since you're walking to do something and don't have time now. But you probably would have time at night some night this week or weekend.

I'm not going to go through all this, but do it for yourself. It takes work, doesn't it? But it really helps you understand more where women are coming from. She can't hardly approach, because most women are risk averse. Why are they risk averse? For one because they are smaller and weaker. Therefore, the low-risk move when walking down the street is to not stop people to talk to them, even you are attracted to them. Thus, as the man, you have be the one to approach.

Girls really are like little kids. They are not as "free" due to biological factors like hormones and mood swings, not to mention carrying a child if pregnant, plus raising the child for a while as well. Thus, they have these constraints on their natural outward desire for sex, because those considerations weigh more. But, of course, they come anyway, as women leave the house too, just like men, and want sex as much if not more than men. They just have their own set of circumstances where they will allow it to happen.

A big consideration for women is not harming their reputation. I remember an episode of Spongebob where Pearl has nobody to go to the prom with, so Spongebob goes. Wacky choas ensues and they get kicked out but they enjoy themselves. As he is walking her home he says "sorry we got kicked out of your dance," and she says "well, at least my reputation's still intact." I'm rather convinced that will do anything with anyone if her reputation isn't harmed. At least to a large extent. Which is why cold-approach is so good, because you don't have to worry about social circle dynamics.

What else. You have, I'm going to say, "impose" a little bit. What do I mean. What I mean is you have to make it sexual. You have to ask her to decide, by either going along with you or not, that this interaction is a sexual one and if she is willing to invest. This is a principle in sales too. It's basically, are you there to seduce, or are you there to chit-chat? You can have a conversation just to warm up, but you have to decide if you want to seduce or chit-chat. And you have to be willing to let the girl go if she's not interested. But that's fine, because there are a million girls on the planet. Who's next?

How do you be more present in the moment? That is the question. One good way is meditation. So does visualization. So does experience. But i encourage anyone to figure out how to be in the present moment for them. And again, I'm not sure if this is a hedonistic viewpoint. Maybe it is more about feeling your own desires. If romance is your true desire, then feel it and channel, and that can work. As does the technician, where if you have enough experience to know what will happen, it can become automatic and you enjoy that. So be in touch with whatever your own preferences, motivations, and strategies are. Know thyself. To thine own self be true.

As Chase has written about, watching seductive male leads in movies can be a good way to emulate the right mannerisms. Of the ones he's written about, I like Val Kilmer in The Saint. Val Kilmer is very in the moment and it shows in his characters. It's actually funny because he seems like he is always a guy playing a character in a movie. Which he is. But the point is that he is so in the moment that he can seem to appreciate the situation of being a person and playing a character at once. Now we're into acting. But the point is that he is good at being in the moment. And it's almost like he is playing the seductive character with a little irony. A smirk, a small smile. Why are they putting him in this movie as the seductive character? He has the devil-may-care attitude that also makes him good for the role in the first place.

Another guy good at this is Ryan Reynolds. His movies always him playing a seductive character, but also playing it with a little irony. Like Van Wilder. Or more recently and blatantly the Deadpool movies. It's that devil-may-care attitude in his own mannerisms that make him play the character onscreen with a little irony, a sly smirk.

Sean Connery also does this. I think it's funny the little one-liners after he kills someone as James Bond. It's like, you're making a big-money movie, why won't you take the lines seriously? But of course, again, it's the devil-may-care that makes him appealing in the role in the first place. So that's the part you want to emulate in the movie characters, their mannerisms.

 

[bobbyb112]

Today I approached two girls. The first, I started talking to a girl while waiting for the train/subway. The previous train was leaving so we were one of the few there. She was walking ahead so when she sat down I went a little past, looked around a little, then turned to her and said "going anywhere exciting?" while smiling. "Just to [touristy location]" "Ooo, what's in [touristy location]?" "Getting some drinks with my friend. I used to go there a lot when I went to school here." "So you're in college now?" "I just graduated, now I'm working at [hospital] doing [something not sure]." "Oh, how's that?" "I really like it. I just started three weeks ago haha. It's that building over there." She sort of points behind a building but you can hardly see it. Me: "oh haha, it's that one" pointing to a brick wall lower down." "Where do you work?" "Downtown. Except on Fridays."

At that point the new train started coming and I drifted off and started towards the train.

So some good points here were smiling. In this one, I smiled right away which probably put her more at ease. I thought she didn't hear me the first time I asked if she was going anywhere exciting, so I was ready to ask again, but she started taking out her ear buds and answering. I'm sure if I weren't smiling she would have balked more, like with the girl yesterday. Although this was when it was more light out, so maybe that is part of it. In any case, smiling during the approach was good.

What to do next is to make it more sexual. You can do this by getting closer, and possibly touching. You lose little by forcing the issue a little. If she is interested she will go with it. If not, you find out quickly. Which is really the point. Moreover, I need to remember to push ahead for something. Namely, get a number. Actually, for these approaches while waiting for the subway, the article by Chase talks about continuing to talk on the train and having her sit with you to do so. I haven't tried that yet, more just using these situations as chances to warm up or just chat with people. But have a concrete goal!

Maybe I'll make a rule where if we've been talking for a minute or two, then I have to at least as for a number.

A question is if she reached the hook point. She asked where I work, does that count? I guess the question is how do I move the interaction forward. I'm not nervous necessarily, just doing know what to go for. Maybe I need to flirt more. But who has time for flirting? Wrong answer. The right answer is probably that have to flirt make the interaction fun.

How close do you get to a girl in daygame? Maybe try getting closer and see how that goes.

With the second, she was walking one way and I the other. I waved to stop her and said "excuse me, can I ask you a questions?" "Sure." "Are you single?" "Haha no I'm actually (I think married, but couldn't hear)." "Oh, are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm okay." "Alright, have a good night." And I continued walking.

In this one, I think smiling at first stopping her would have put her at ease more. I think I forgot to smile. You want to smile here so she is thinking "oh, it's a friendly person, let's hear what he has to say" rather than "oh, a serious person, let's answer the question and leave." You don't have to smile like an idiot for the whole thing. Just at the beginning so she knows you are friendly.

So, smile, especially on a street stop. It seems better when I do this. Smiling seems like it kicks things off in the right direction, too. You can transition to being "serious" later, but at least in the beginning of the interaction, you want to smile to be friendly.

Another point is on being in the moment. I'm sure everyone has a different way to do this, but it's what you want to do.

 

[bobbyb112]

Today I approached a girl on the street. It was a side street and there were not really any other people around. I stopped her from the front and said "hey, can I ask you a questions?" "Sure" "Are you single?" "No" "I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi… I like your shirt, it looks like a tablecloth material, except without the horizontal stripes. And it has a seam down the middle. Why is that?” “I don’t know” “I’m trying to get into fashion.” “Oh, that’s good.” “I’m kidding. Do you know about fashion?” “Sort of” “The only one I know is, is this a thing, ‘color blocking’?” “Yeah, but they have that in art too.” “Oh. Well, have a great day.” Then I walked past.

Some good things were that I smiled on the opener and she seemed more open to talking than other girls I've opened with a more stern face. I think. Anyway, I think smiling is the way to go. So that was good for now. I also tried to make it fun by teasing her. I tried to do this by making comments about her shirt. As you can see above, classic newbie probably too insulting tease. But not terrible. At least I was having a little fun with it. And riffing, because the fashion stuff is what came to mind.

I did take too long to come up with it, which is why you want to get good at coming up with stuff off the cuff. Just first impressions and then going with them, using push-pull to say something, then take it away, then something more teasing, then more nice. Back and forth. The whole time. So, I'm glad I decided to try to tease, because in the other interactions I've had it seems like we're getting too deep to quickly. Then again, this might be good if they are really investing.

In any case, you want to get good at flirting. I was also a little more in the moment, although after the last part I did hit the eject button. From a learning standpoint you want to stay in as long as possible until you get blown out. She wasn't leaving quite yet, so you might as well stay as long as she will.

Another point is voice tone. You want to project well. I was talking kind of fast, which isn't good. You want to talk slow or at least in control. Another question is how far should you stand from her. Here, we were standing a good few feet apart. Should I get closer and see how she reacts? Another point is that you want to put out your hand for her to shake after giving the compliment. If nothing else this brings you a little closer, and breaks the touch barrier.

I like teasing and being more flirty, because frankly it is more fun. You are keeping it light. As well as deep diving. Moreover, you are giving her an experience. I'm kind of worried in the interactions when they've just told me things about them. I suppose the thing here is to put a sexual spin on it. Chase framing, or otherwise making it sexual. With touch or what you say. I worry about the ones where they are talking a lot but I haven't put any sexual spin on it. Do they know where we're going? On the flip side, with one girl at a club I'm thinking of, I was touching her while she was telling me about herself. This is good because it is compliance and escalating the vibe, and getting her comfortable with you.

Really, you want to go as fast as she will let you. With her, I don't want to say I was stroking her leg, but I had my hand sort of on the side of her lag as we sat next to each other on couches and talked. She didn't say anything about it, and this created the right vibe as she told about herself. At least as a beginner, touch is good because it gets the sexual points across, if your verbal game isn't good enough yet. With these girls on the street and in the day, you want to do this with touching, but also what you say. A la teasing.

I guess it depends if the conversation seems like it's going where you want it to. If there is enough sexual tension already, then you don't need to add more. But if it doesn't, then you do. For example, with one girl we were sitting on couches outside talking, and she was telling me about something where she was in the shower, and I said "I know what you're doing." "What?" "You're trying to get me to think about you in the shower." This ramped up the sexual tension a little more, which is where it needed to go.

So the point is, if there is not enough sexual tension, you need to create it. Touching is good and one that works if you can use it. For example, nighttime physical escalation. Which I actually feel like I can do, since it's really just a matter of touching a girl more. But anyway, teasing and flirting is what you do in day game.

In my approaches, some of them have been too platonic, which is where you want to add in teasing. Even with the "are you single?" opener, you still want to build some sexual tension. Not a ton, just some, and then you want to ask for investment, by asking about her, etc.

Part of this was remembering to be more unapologetic about flirting. You want to flirt and be unapologetic about it, if you aren't already. I was sort of forgetting the sexual part probably because of the social programming of not flirting with girls in the street during day time. But it's just like nighttime, but with more sunlight!

Another point with that is that you want to carry the load of the conversation until she will hook. During the day in particular, she might not be in a very social mood, so she needs time to warm up herself a little. So if you can carry the load of the conversation for a little bit, until she hooks, then she will do more of the talking for much of the date and other time you spend together.

That being said, you want her to hook as soon as possible. Chase says girls pretty much always hook right away for him nowadays, so maybe he doesn't need to tease as much. Something to experiment with. If she does hook and contribute to the conversation, you can put your sexual stamp on it in some way with some comment, and then keep going. It doesn't have to be in an exact order.

I think the next question is if she does hook, and you've teased enough, then what? Propose a date, or coffee or hot chocolate later. Then trade contact info, talk a little more, and then part ways. So the parts I need to remember are to smile on approaching, and tease. Have fun with it!

The good part about flirting or teasing is that it guides the interaction where you want to go. For example, if it's too platonic, tease with something sexual. If it's too serious, tease or flirt with something light. And then go back deeper. Chase says to go deep then light, and teasing and flirting are what allow you to do this.

I started talking to another girl while waiting for a subway. I said "going anywhere exciting?" "Huh?" I repeated. "Oh, to the museum." She had a Chinese accent, so she might not have understood what I said at first. I smiled, which is good in general and good for if she can't quite understand you. She seemed more reserved as well. For more reserved girls, you might want to tease less.

The good part about going in with a smile is that it allows you to move on to what you really want to do. Which is, say, flirt. You're really just getting permission to move on to the next phase of the process. Working backwards from sex, in order to have sex you have to get to know her, to get to know her you need to meet up on a date, to meet up on a date you have to talk first with a sexual frame, to do that you have to talk at all, to do that you have to smile so she knows you are friendly. So the first step is being friendly. Especially in street approaches.

 

[bobbyb112]

Question: How much does it cost to go out to a bar or lounge for a night? How much for cover, if any, and drink? I don't like alcohol, so I'd get a water and then just pay like it was a drink, to remain in their good graces.

 

[bobbyb112]

Re: Journal

Today I walked around downtown and did one approach. She was walking towards me and I said when she was ten or so feet away from me "hey, excuse me. (she got a little closer). Can I ask you a quick question? (she keeps moving a bit). Are you single? (she walks more away and says something like "oh")." I laugh and keep walking.

One good thing I think is approaching on less busy streets, i.e. one street over from a really busy street. The really busy ones just seem too chaotic. That's the working hypothesis right now anyway.

A question is how much do you get in front of her? Do you get right in her walking path so you command her attention with your masculine presence? Or can you stay tot he side a little? I've been doing from the side, but it feels a little weak. But going right in front seems too jarring. Then again, it could provide a stronger impression, that you need to get her attention. To be in front, it seems like you want to make sure to start talking when she's far enough away to realize you're talking and slow down. You don't want to fight with momentum too much.

A good thing was that I didn't feel nervous at all. Now just to know the right thing to do, and I'll be an approaching machine! But anyway, do more.

I was wearing jeans, shoes, and a jacket with a logo. The jacket was not "sexy", so that's something to have different when you're out to meet girls. You want your look to be edgy and sexy.

I was also trying to have my eyebrows up and smiling, like Chase said in his most recent article. Remember the fundamentals. Another point from that article was how it takes a little away from your attractiveness to smile, but you get warmer reactions and it is easier to start a conversation. It's like with beggars who try to start a conversation and ask for money. If they are warm and friendly and non-threatening, you're a lot more likely to give them the time of day. Compared to a guy with a scowl and not warm tone.

Or, I'm thinking of one of the doormen at a building I go to often, and he smiles and has a warm expression, always says hi, and it always brightens your day. Whereas pretty much all the other doormen are awkward or scowling or neutral and you sort of just walk past them. I actually want to know the guy's name who smiles. People want smiling people in their life. This is all socializing 101, but worth repeating.

I'm trying to think of how I would want to be approached, or at least what works. You want a strong voice. Probably strong eye contact. Do you get in front of her? Maybe. Do you want it to go "excuse me", make sure she stops, "are you single?". Or maybe "excuse me", make sure she stops, "quick question. Are you single?". How much do you want to "ground" what you're going to say? Also, probably make sure to talk slower. That's more for if you're nervous and talking fast, but you also want to make sure you're "in the moment" and drinking her in. Important.

What is a smooth, law of least effort way to open on the street? Head-on is somewhat less, because you don't have to walk extra. What about when she's just ahead of you? Do you walk faster and open when you're just to the side of her, or slightly ahead of her? What about if she's sort of far away, can you run up, and then walk for the last little bit so she doesn't see you running? Is there one when she is ahead of you that doesn't involve running?

Walking around, there were some girls who adjust their hair. Approach invitation. On the subway there was also a girl who was staring hard in the reflection off the glass. Strong approach invitation. Make moves.

The flow of the seduction will be open, hook, suggest meetup, text, meetup, deep dive, invite back, kiss within 10 minutes, escalate. You can add more steps in there, but these are some.