Just saying hello :)

[Loverboy]

Hey guys! New member here.

I guess I'm a "latent natural"? I grew up profoundly uncomfortable about beautiful girls and women to the point that I couldn't look any cute girl in the eye. Turns out I grew up with the shitty attachment style called "I crave intimacy but I'm too guarded to let people in". My struggles with intimacy and finding love have pushed me down a deep rabbit hole of evolutionary psychology, online dating, and more recently old-school real-life approaching. I'm a lone wolf who has stayed true to his dream (obsession?) about finding intimacy with a truly beautiful woman and who kept digging and digging despite rejections and heartbreaks.

I stumbled upon GC a few months ago and I was instantly hooked. Over the years I've journaled hundreds of pages on the topic of women, but BOY! I'm floored by the sheer volume of insights @Chase has written over the last decade! I 100% echo with his meticulous study of the topic and his positive, non-manipulative, no-redpill philosophy. I have to admit I'm slightly envious that his full-time job is to study the art of women.
I just finished the book on How to Text Girls and I loved it.

Looking forward to interact with you guys!


PS: I guess this is the right section to post this, right?

 

[POB]

Welcome!
Moved you thread to beginners so more people can check it out.

 

[King]

Great stuff man, glad to have you here!

 

[Dragonetti]

Welcome! This forum is a great place to learn and get feedback. There are some seriously knowledgeable guys here.

You said you're a "latent natural"; what makes you think this?

 

[Loverboy]

Thanks for the warm welcome guys!

@Dragonetti good question. Mostly I started thinking about it when reading Chase's articles on the topic:

I'd say that they all are "students of people" and "students of the mind." They find people, relationships, thinking, persuasion, negotiation, communication, influence, and much more to be extraordinarily interesting topics, and they are constant students of these topics.

The 5 Big Differences Between Naturals and “PUA”s

When I first discovered dating advice for men on the Internet in the mid-2000s, I was ecstatic; here were exactly the tools I was looking for to take what I was trying to do and put it on rocket fuel. With these tools, I knew, I could shave years off my learning curve and advance at a far faster...

www.girlschase.com

Here’s what a day-in-the-life of a fairly typical natural who takes maybe a couple of new girls a month to bed may look like:

• He chats up the guy at the desk on his way out of his building. Asks him how his day his, what’s new, etc.
• He greets and makes a few comments to several other residents of the building as they’re walking in or walking out. Some of these residents he knows and has talked to before; several of them it’s his first time seeing them.
• He walks outside and waits to cross the street. He compliments a guy waiting at the corner with him on his tie and chats with him about where he’s going.
• [...]

How Naturals Meet Girls and Get Laid

One of the big mysteries for a lot of guys who are new to pickup is just how, exactly, men who are ‘naturals’ with women meet enough women to have the partner volume they do. If you’ve ever had a talented natural friend, you’ll notice it seems like he never does a cold approach, and spends most...

www.girlschase.com

I guess I can describe myself as an "analytical feeler" guy (INFJ for the MBTI nerds). I have a meticulous obsession about the human condition, psychology, people skills, and women. "Analytical thinkers" would be more obsessed about a technical topic (cars, engines, Linux, ...), I have that level of obsession towards anything related to emotions and people dynamics. I sometimes joke that I have the equivalent of a bachelor's degree in psychology, I can talk about Carl Jung, Carl Rogers, or John Bowlby for hours.

Oh and don't get me started on the study of women. I don't study women in order to "get" them but from a deep obsession of their "otherness". We will never fully understand them and they fascinate me. The dance between the sexes is the dance of our existence. I know that when I'm in my 90s and I look at my granddaughter playing with her dolls I'll have a moment and think, "oh how interesting, so THAT's why" and another piece of the puzzle will click in my mental map of men and women.

I've been lurking around the seduction community over the years but never really stuck to it. Too much PUA stuff for me, too many "social algorithms", too much focus on LR's and notches on the belt. Too mechanical, too brain-heavy, that's not congruent for me. I read The Game, I read The Art of Seduction and it was too Machiavellian for me, too much manipulation, not enough care and concern for the person on the other side. You will hardly ever hear me talking about my sex life, for me LR's are too much part of the protected bubble I have with the girl to disclose them freely. My bible when it comes to seduction is Swoon by Betsy Prioleau. I started reading that book and I instantly echoed with the topic described.

Back to the "day in the life of a natural", surprisingly that is becoming an accurate description of me. I've always had a spark of enthusiasm and generosity in me, always trying to brighten the world up in my way. Now that I'm getting half-decent with cold approaches, I'm starting to notice that I look at everyone around me. I'm constantly scanning the environment, obviously for girls, but not only. I say a nice word at the cashier, I practice eye contact in my commute to catch people's eyes and see if I can share my inner smile with them. At work when there are cookies lying around I always ask who's birthday it is. This year I started to build warmer relationships with my neighbors and at my current level I'm learning not to fear approaching girls from my block: worst thing I'll make them smile and they'll smile again if I bump into them another day.

Don't know if this makes me one of the so-coveted Naturals, but I like to believe that I have the seeds inside of me.

 

[Marty]

INFJ for the MBTI

That’s very interesting, Loverboy, I myself come out consistently as INFJ (earlier in my life: INFP), but I have nowhere near the level of skill at understanding others that you describe here. I suppose my specialty, if I have one, is being able to put into words what I perceive, or being able to see the unspoken intention or nuance behind what another person is saying and verbalize that on his or her behalf (often resulting in an enthusiastic ‘Yes!’).

You will hardly ever hear me talking about my sex life, for me LR's are too much part of the protected bubble I have with the girl to disclose them freely.

This is very cute. I felt likewise at the beginning, but persuaded myself that I could better achieve my leaning goals by gaining others’ input, so long as I took every precaution to preserve women’s anonymity, and have become somewhat desensitized after several years.

I like to believe that I have the seeds inside of me.

I think I can learn a lot from you, because you are able to relate to those with less immediate success and explain what you are doing, unlike some ‘naturals’ I have had close personal contact with.

 

[Loverboy]

I suppose my specialty, if I have one, is being able to put into words what I perceive, or being able to see the unspoken intention or nuance behind what another person is saying and verbalize that on his or her behalf (often resulting in an enthusiastic ‘Yes!’).

That's a great superpower to have.

I think I can learn a lot from you, because you are able to relate to those with less immediate success and explain what you are doing

Thanks . To be honest I don't consider myself "that" advanced. My lifetime sex count isn't that high and I'm still learning to convert numbers into follow up dates. Good to hear my stuff is helpful for others!


@Dragonetti I've given some additional thought to your question regarding what would make me a natural.
I can think of a few people that I would describe as Naturals: Zan Perrion, Duncan North (please read his blog and read Chase's mini series on The Tao of Steve[1] [2] [3]). Chase is a bit of a question mark for me because of how technical and how meticulous he is about the topic, but I remember reading him saying that back in his early days on the PUA forums people liked what he had to say.

From my point of view, I'd say that Naturals are defined by two things: their personal philosophy of seduction, and their deep care for women. When you read Zan Perrion, none of his ideas are copy-paste PUA theory. Duncan North developed an entire life philosophy built around his famous (and now somewhat cliché) 3 rules tennets known as the Tao of Steve. When you read Chase, same thing, his ideas and principles were born from his extensive experience with women and a heavy study of the academic literature, he doesn't read like a copy-paste seduction coach. I'm tempted to add @Michael Chief here as well: his uncommon move towards feminist theory and his decision to embrace full transparency as a seduction expert and as a polyamorous is not something you hear in PUA literature.
"...and then there's me." My philosophy of seduction, very much still under development, started from an obsessive study of evolutionary psychology, which I later complemented with hint of spirituality, then attachment theory, and now I'm deep into the study of Jung's Anima. My learnings are deeply personal and intuitive, I juggle with a different set of concepts than the average PUA student.

The Natural's deep care for women seems to be his signature trait. Sure, his sexual gratification is important. But more than getting his dick wet, he cares a lot about the women in his life, he has an empathetic connection with them. Zan Perrion's motto is that a man who loves women is loved by women. Chase has written on occasion that he is a deep supporter of the women in his life, rooting for them and their success. I think the Natural has found the answer of how to be a nice guy with women without falling into the trap of the platonic friend zone. Or, as women describe him: he's "nice with spice".