LR Kalyan's first cold approach lay.

[kalyan]

I don't know how to express my happiness. I've lost my virginity for years, but i felt like i lost it again this day. I bedded a pretty girl. And i did not meet her through tinder, or anything online. I did not meet her through friends. No social circle. Heck, not even half- warm approach. It was a cold approach (While I've technically had amanda, but i wasn't particularly proud of her). I seduced a woman the old fashion way and, i'd like to believe, her life is much better for it.

Its 5:20 before my 6:10 class on Monday. Im moving onto the lawn to enjoy some sun. And i see her, sitting alone. "Hey blabla you look interesting." She was eating so she couldn't reply. I go "oh god, that's embarrassing. Lets try again" i ask to join her. We start talking. Shes a cute little english major, with some purple in her hair. By now, i feel my comfort is sky high during my interactions. Was this really hard 3 months ago? Wow. I get her number 12-15 minutes in: "we should salsa at my place". Bam. Continue talking for another 10-12 minutes. She's not super into me, but signs are there. At one point i ask "what do you think of me?" "You're confident. I've never had this happen to me before" "well fuck yes. All these American guys are too busy trying to look cool". I lie down towards the end, enjoy the grass and the sun. She leaves after a while.

Text: ice breaker in a while, then text next day. Ask her for a date: "what do you have in mind?""Well, come to mine, on wednesday at 4. We can eat. We can dance." "Ok, perfect, im in, i cant at 4 though." "Ok, 8." "8, cant wait!"

Quick texting next day to confirm, shes here, my angel, at 8:30. She gives me a beautiful smile. I light up. I love women, and she knows. She knows I know she knows . I lead her to my dorm, then invite her to my room. Offer some wine. She cant have a lot cuz she has to work later. No problem, i will tease you for being underage. We do wine for 5-7 minutes, then go back to the living room to start dancing. She doesn't know salsa, but does it matter? Her eyes tell me she's mine. We're touching in all the right ways. We do basics, cross body lead, right hand turn. Her lips want to kiss me, but I don't: not yet. After a while, i do pull her close, and we kiss. Beautiful lips. Thank you for sharing them. We continue on the couch for a while, then i lead her to bedroom. Lights off, change music, close curtains, throw her on bed, game on. Take off my shirt. A few minutes later she pushes me, oh shit.. ah wait. She wants to take off her top. Ok, why not. Bra off. Beautiful breasts. Playing with her pussy. As soon as i tugged down her pants she was ready to take them off. She asks if i have a condom. I chuckle. She asks again; relax my beautiful. I tease her some more, and interrogate her: are you willing to take on my cock? Oh yes? Well, ok baby. Your idea. Did what is necessary, but having a big dick is a problem when you're dealing with a white chick, too tight. But i penetrate in the end. Sex goes like 30 minutes. I feel like we had enough, so i whip it out, take off my condom, cum on her beautiful body (i only do this to girls i like, else cum in condom). Cuddling.

Part of the post sex conversation:
- when did you decide you wanna fuck me?
- I donno... but after i left you the day we met i wanted to fuck you
- What was ur first impression?
- Super confident (why thank you)
- What do you think of me now?
- I dont know you very well (beautiful, we can explore)

I wanted to go for round two, it cements attraction, but she was in a hurry. I should have persisted.
We dress up. I through some precursors to tell her this is not a one night thing. We dance a little, i feed her some halwa (i like to share my lebanese culture hehe). We make tentative plans to meet monday/ tuesday. I can hear hector saying "see? I told you this shit works, motherfucker".

I felt the interaction was perfect. It was too smooth. Nothing wrong. Like, it feels like it's my 20th lay. Anyways, I added some value to a girl's life, she's more than welcome, my angel. I will go after 2 months, but never leave her (yes, i'm stealing ideas from zan).

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Kalyan,

Wooow congratulations man! Very smooth. When it's raw mutual attraction like here, not much game is actually required. However you still needed to lead smoothly, and you did!

If this was me, I would resist the natural impulsion to see her too often. That will naturally lead into developing a relationship. While there is nothing wrong with that, it will also put a break on the effort you started to better yourself at cold approach... Because you will be busy with her. So if you still want to improve your game while seeing her, I would recommend a couple of things:

* try meeting her once a week at most. Be aware that she will attempt to see you more often than that
* when you meet her, make sure it always ends up in sex
* no social circle with her

The above makes sure that you don't get yourself sucked in BF zone, and still keep free time for going out and meeting more girls and improve your game.

OR...

Just go for it. Meet her twice or thrice a week. Go around with her in social circles, present her to friends. You will be headed straight to BF / GF status, and it can be very nice. But then be ready to a severe cut back on your current learning curve on game.

Ultimately it comes down to what you really want. One or the other. Getting the best of both worlds (relationship AND game) is difficult.

Anyway congratulations again. I hope to read more from you!

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[kalyan]

Wooow congratulations man! Very smooth. When it's raw mutual attraction like here, not much game is actually required. However you still needed to lead smoothly, and you did!

Thanks doc! Wonder what you meant exactly by "raw mutual attraction". I think you are referring to the fact that there were no games played or anything.

As for the rest of your reply, i will be aiming for a mostly sexual relationship. I will go out with her, but not with MY social circle. If she wants to introduce me to hers, that's fine. Or else, the occasional lunch or shopping together. I am only in town for 2 months, and that helps put me out of the boyfriend role. However as you mentioned, there is an urge to settle, which i will consciously combat. It shouldn't be too hard, i've had way worse situations to deal with the goal of self betterment takes precedence.

Thank you for your warm reply, spoken like a true elder

Kalyan

 

[Seppuku]

Thanks doc! Wonder what you meant exactly by "raw mutual attraction". I think you are referring to the fact that there were no games played or anything.

The way you describe it, it was a magnetic interaction. Everything clicks in easily without much effort or game. This usually means that there was big raw attraction from both sides from the beginning. But in order to turn into a lay, you still need to lead smoothly. So the job is not to fuck it up and lead. Exactly what you did.

Just a tip: "What do you think of me?" is her trying to see if you see if you are thinking bad of her for going in bed so fast with you. Here is the time to throw some non judgmental frames, and assure her that you still like her.

the goal of self betterment takes precedence.

Good. There is much, much more learning down the road, so it's worth withholding a little longer before jumping in a relationship. It's my take, at least.

It's a pattern I see here quite often. A guy comes here, starts to work on himself, have a couple of early success, then gets a girlfriend and disappears. It all depends what was his goal in the first place. If he wanted just to get a GF, then good, mission accomplished. But if he wanted to get really good with girls, then he jumped in a relationship way too early with the first girl, from the point of view of his initial objective.

Also, if a guy ends up in a relationship, whose decision this really was? Maybe he really wanted it, then fine. But maybe he thought, wow, she's good, I can have easy access to more good sex... And after a few weeks, finds himself becoming the de facto boyfriend of the girl. This is typically how a girl ropes a guy into a relationship and attach him to her. In this case, it really was her decision, not his, and he bowed to the GF frame.

It's something to be aware of, and to learn to recognize and deflect very early. The way to deflect this, is to stick by the rules I mentioned in my previous reply. If you do that, she is the one bowing to your lover frame, she's the one abiding to your rules.

Well, it's just food for thoughts! Not saying this is happening to you.

Good job again.

Cheers!
Seppuku

 

[kalyan]

clarification: i am the one who asked "what do you think of me".
the rest of the message is loud and clear. yes, many guys are in this for the easy win. thank you for the reminder.

yes, it is important not to bend to her GF frame. at best, i keep my lover frame. at worst, i lose her. i can live with that

 

[Mystique]

Hey Kaylan,
Congratulations are in order!

 

[Alchemist]

Smooth lay man, good job!

(BTW: here's another fellow who eats helva, and baklava

 

[kalyan]

Hey Kaylan,
Congratulations are in order!

Thank you!

Smooth lay man, good job!

(BTW: here's another fellow who eats helva, and baklava

you are all invited for some good halva

 

[Mr.Rob]

Well done Kaylan,

Yeah that first cold approach lay will blow your mind, especially if you had a dry spell since the last time you got laid. It can be a surreal experience thinking how if you didn't just go up and say "hi" how that whole opportunity and experience would have been relinquished for both of you... makes you start thinking how many more of those experience you gave up just because you didn't say "hi".

You did a pretty solid job here considering that you're a relative beginner by the sounds of it. I particularly like how you paced the seduction once you brought her to your house. A lot of guys get overeager and you slowed things down purposely to build the emotional experience for you both.. I find that typically can make the sex much more explosive that way.

Keep it pimping

-Rob

 

[kalyan]

Well done Kaylan,

Yeah that first cold approach lay will blow your mind, especially if you had a dry spell since the last time you got laid. It can be a surreal experience thinking how if you didn't just go up and say "hi" how that whole opportunity and experience would have been relinquished for both of you... makes you start thinking how many more of those experience you gave up just because you didn't say "hi".

You did a pretty solid job here considering that you're a relative beginner by the sounds of it. I particularly like how you paced the seduction once you brought her to your house. A lot of guys get overeager and you slowed things down purposely to build the emotional experience for you both.. I find that typically can make the sex much more explosive that way.

Keep it pimping

-Rob

Hey Rob, thanks for your time in reading and replying.

It did blow my mind, yes, and it was a happy event for me. Now, the saying "hi" part, I didn't feel it much, because I have already approaced somewhere north of 300 girls, and surprisingly this was my first lay. It's a bad conversion, i know, but it is what it is. I will get to the bottom of it.

About pacing the seduction at home, yes, I was relaxed, even during escalation. One of the lessons from my 300 approaches has been the ability to enjoy handling tension. That's something I am quite advanced at.

I would not call myself a beginner. My numbers are not as high, but I feel I have a healthy frame. I only need a few finishing touches which people like you can help contribute to.

Oh btw, i texted her on two separate occasions since, and no reply. No bitter/ harsh feelings, i gave her good sex, and we both loved the experience, and if she doesn't want more, that's ok.

 

[Frost]

Good job man! Solid lay, very smooth and calibrated. You did the right thing at the right time and you did it!