Okey-DOKEY! If I had the same amount of attention from undergrad girls that I've somehow gotten from you fellas recently, I'd be killing it, haha!
Seriously, this is why I love this forum. You folks
rock. Just in the first 24 hours that this thread was up, I received
fourteen replies. Plus a good few more over the course of the following day. Thank you so much for helping me out here!
Before I acknowledge selected responses individually, I'd like to lay out my "plan of attack", if you will. It's fairly simple and is the sum-product of reflecting upon each of your comments as it came in. Here goes:
- 1. The overall plan is to start with the women where I'm doing the best and "work my way down" age-wise as I get better.
2. For some reason I've lately gotten what I can only call "excited" responses from women in their early thirties or older, single or at least currently single, who have reasonable sex appeal but are of what you might term "semi-skilled" occupations... like paralegals, realtors, sales account managers and so forth. Conversation with these white-collar clerical honeys is obviously not as stimulating as with the Oxbridge/Ivy-League types, but then again I haven't taken the trouble for the past twenty years to become skilled with women, so what can I expect? The great thing about these chicks at the moment is that once I "throw them a bone" they start initiating contact. A lot. One just texted me (Saturday night!) and asked for my photo, if you please. I want to find a place where I can pick up these office workers who are starting to feel their time is running out—obviously they're not exactly top of the value pyramid, but I dig their responsiveness.
3. What I want to do with these girls is start notching up a lay count. I truly believe that this will give me a confidence boost that will differentiate my performance with women from other demographics. As Colt noted in his recent article, it's about "a very profound change in yourself". As I've worked my way toward almost 200 cold approaches and a dozen or so dates, I've noticed improvements to fundamentals I haven't even specifically targeted, in areas as diverse as voice and male scent. Pushing matters to the next stage is bound to yield further intangible enhancements yet to be discovered
4. At the same time I will continue to target another group I've made reasonable progress with, highly-educated women in the 23-26 age range. These babes don't help me actively to push things forward like the ones mentioned in #2, but they are responsive when I lead. I've kissed 3 girls from that group in the last 5 months.
5. Concurrently, I will make sure that I regularly hit up local campuses and ancillary businesses (coffee shops, bookstores etc.) to focus on the undergrad population. I know I am going to get blown out of the water. That is the point. It does a man good to get a harsh rejection every 1-2 weeks, say. It reminds him what it feels like—that is to say, nowhere near as bad as he might expect. This guards against developing a risk-averse mentality.
Sound good?
To your specific comments (and I can't thank you enough for participating):
Kenshin—good to hear from you, I think you joined quite recently and we've never spoken before. I'm interested in your point about insecurities and can empathize to some extent.
I'm not in a small college town, I'm in a major city with three big universities within or close to the city limits, and several others in the metro area. Of the three in-town, one is an institute of technology, located in the central business district, walking distance from my offices, and has a very high reputation. Girls here seem generally willing to start a conversation but are flakier than a freshly-grilled salmon steak if I ever get their number.
Another is a state university, located downtown, that focuses more on practical occupations such as psychology, nursing, public management and policy, hospitality administration and the like. I have had friendlier receptions from these girls but it's a little out of my beaten path—I need to explore it more.
The third is a private university, just outside of the city limits, with very high fees but frankly from what I've heard its academic record is less than stellar. In other words, the girls are generally there on the strength of their parents' bank accounts as opposed to their own ability and motivation. I've had varied receptions here; never been blown out completely, as such, but never gotten a date either. It's a beautiful place to be, with rolling parkland and a spotless campus just outside of the city limits, so it'll be pleasant to spend more time there. I used to live in the area and know it well.
As for where I am, yes I'm in the States; it's the sixth country I've lived in following a varied career in a range of expatriate locations, largely in Central and Eastern Europe. Back in my own undergrad days, I attended university in Britain, so I have little or no idea of the niceties of American campus life that you've touched on. When talking with girls, I normally keep the above details of my past under wraps for as long as possible, to ensure I remain relatable, unless I'm speaking with someone exceptionally well-traveled and open-minded.
Oh and Sean Larson... seriously? My approaches are nothing like that, take a look at some of my FRs if you don't believe me. Rest assured, there is no way I'd ever be banned or even talked to by campus authorities—relax
Franco—haha you made me laugh with your reference to a "bad boy" image; when I hear that expression it kinda brings
this immortal scene to mind. Actually, I've no idea where people here get the idea that I'm some sort of ultra-polished fellow who never puts a foot wrong socially; it's not true, I have rather rough edges and occasionally make quite intentional remarks that cause shocked laughter or a sharp intake of breath. I don't consciously model myself after anyone, but if I had to name an inspiration for my social presentation and manner it would have to be Philip Marlowe (and has been for years).
Frankly, Franco, the vast majority of girls I approach, especially the young ones (<28), are rather conventional in their dress—say, skirt, pantyhose and heels if at the office, or tight jeans and suede boots for the students. If anything, I probably present myself a little
more edgily than they do, so I doubt that I am coming across as unrelatable on the grounds of being not enough of a "bad boy". I think I'd fit with their social circle just fine, too; I'm a university graduate myself (obviously) so it's not like I'm some dropout who doesn't understand the intellectual realms that university students inhabit. So given that, I don't think it makes sense to pose the situation as a transaction; instead, I'll go in situationally as you suggest, and reserve the direct compliments for once we're a few seconds into conversation already.
-B-—as always you've provided me with some very nutritious food for thought
I'll never forget how you recommended I get a haircut, and two girls I approached one and three days, respectively, after getting it cut both ended up kissing me. As I mentioned in the intro to this post, I am going to follow a policy of hitting the easier targets first to develop confidence, then attempting increasingly harder approaches.
But you are so right about adopting a slightly "passive" approach: fire up the desire first without overloading the active pursuance, then move efficiently. It makes perfect sense.
Chase gave me an amazing response recently to a question I had on one of his articles, which basically says that any compliment must come from a position of authority, not one of supplication. Something to etch in my memory!
I like your new gameplan for me, -B-. That's what I'll try to do: create a spark subtly, then take it and nurture it. It makes perfect sense when I think it over. Not make her feel like a princess right away. Franco essentially said the same: reserve the direct remarks for when she's hooked. Thank you!
ProblemSolving—everything I've read from you indicates you know your stuff and I feel I can learn so much from you. My own findings were totally on your page regarding the date-scheduling issue and here again, I'll take on board what you write about appearance, and I can quite see that showering girls with compliments makes no sense if they already get plenty as it is. Not that I do that, mind—but I can probably still dial it down without coming off as "hiding the banana".
Anatman—you're the expert in this demographic
par excellence, so I'm particularly glad that you posted. Don't worry, I'm not going to ditch the direct opener: I get too much of a kick out of it to do that! What I wanted to ask you though, Anatman: when you saw the dark-skinned girl with the terrific ass,
how did you know that she'd be responsive to a sexual compliment?
Some guys (and girls) tell me that they can see from the look in a woman's eyes, literally, whether she is very serious and conservative or whether, conversely, she is sexually open and receptive to being hit on hard. Is that how you did it? What I'm really asking is, did you know
in advance she was "that type of girl"? Or did you just "suck it and see", so to speak?
Doctor—I can see immediately that your point about sexual market value is incredibly important. Your points about time, options, alternatives and persistence are all well-taken. Thank you. I shall try to put that into practice (and it will do me good anyway).
Nova—I'm sure you're right, I always rely on my social judgment of the situation, and the time available, to make the decision whether to open direct, or open situationally and go direct in the next few seconds. Very often a commonsense reading of the girl's intention and body language will give an idea of whether she's in a hurry, needs to do something, etc.
I didn't realize about the "stigma" you referenced because when I was at university, all the hottest attached girls had boyfriends in their 30s or 40s, and used to throw parties at their places (obviously inviting all their friendzoned male retinue). Again maybe that's just something that differs across the pond.
But yes I obviously never approach around their friends, and I really appreciate your comments on fundamentals and your general encouragement.
Verisimilitude, Flames, Luego, Proactivity—I'm conscious I haven't mentioned you in person but I think your comments were covered by others too (which just shows how on point they were, presumably, being independently verified). And
ZacAdam, thank you for that cross-reference; very interesting reading.
Again, thank you all so much for collectively contributing this fantastic input. I appreciate it greatly.
-Marty
