Let's say I do everything right with a girl and we sleep together and hit it off. Now, we are not going to see each other for several months. We set up a date for an event in the future (a good thing to look forward to). Now in the meantime, should we be staying in touch? Occasionally she will message me, maybe once a week. We keep it short and sweet, a few messages a piece. I feel strange messaging her first, maybe because I expect her to initiate a conversation? How important is it to maintain rapport when long distance? I like the girl a lot and feel everything is going well, I just don't want things to slowly die out.
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- Aug 25, 2014
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Hey Jimmy,
I did it a few times. First, it helps a lot if there is a clearly identified future meeting date. Second, if the flame burns too bright, the candle will be consumed too quick. The heavy texting, video calls etc... is difficult to keep going and likely to die off abruptly. What seems to work best is the occasional pinging. Just a casual texting once in a while, some brief news etc... but not making it a habit or an expectation.
From my recent past experience:
My GF in Thailand got me into daily video calls, then heavy drama when I tried reducing the frequency. She became really crazy around me and it failed after 3.5 months.
My GF in the Philippines got me into hours and hours of chat per week, plus hundreds of pics etc... We met two more times, it eventually failed.
A girl I dated once in the Philippines (but no sex and no kiss) I managed to maintain three months, still to this date, with occasional chatting. Still ongoing.
Several girls I met online but never met face to face I could keep several months through casual chatting. Still ongoing.
Difficult, but not impossible to manage over a few (3) months, using casual, occasional chat. Harder over a longer period or if it becomes a daily chat habit.
Hope this helps,
Seppuku
I did it a few times. First, it helps a lot if there is a clearly identified future meeting date. Second, if the flame burns too bright, the candle will be consumed too quick. The heavy texting, video calls etc... is difficult to keep going and likely to die off abruptly. What seems to work best is the occasional pinging. Just a casual texting once in a while, some brief news etc... but not making it a habit or an expectation.
From my recent past experience:
My GF in Thailand got me into daily video calls, then heavy drama when I tried reducing the frequency. She became really crazy around me and it failed after 3.5 months.
My GF in the Philippines got me into hours and hours of chat per week, plus hundreds of pics etc... We met two more times, it eventually failed.
A girl I dated once in the Philippines (but no sex and no kiss) I managed to maintain three months, still to this date, with occasional chatting. Still ongoing.
Several girls I met online but never met face to face I could keep several months through casual chatting. Still ongoing.
Difficult, but not impossible to manage over a few (3) months, using casual, occasional chat. Harder over a longer period or if it becomes a daily chat habit.
Hope this helps,
Seppuku
Seppuku, thanks. This is just what I'm looking for. I think I've read posts by you about this before. Very relevant and helpful. I set up a trip in a couple months - hopefully that holds and works out. It makes communication less necessary because we know when we'll meet next
Jimmy
Jimmy