Kicked out from social group after failed escalation attempt. What to do?

[kristian]

Have some of you ever had a failed escalation with someone from your social circle, only to have to deal with repercussions from her friends later?
If so, how do you deal with it when it all comes out?

For me, it means that I am getting kicked out from a group that I used to work with. I hope some of you can give me your take on this:

• *I met a girl that I liked a lot. We connected. She broke up with her boyfriend and I, a few days later, asked her out.

• *We went out twice, and made out both times, but because I am not smooth yet I managed not to close the deal then.

• *She was keen to see me again. Chased me for a bit, but I felt that she was unstable so I gently declined. Later she said it was best not to meet because she was "sorting things out with her boyfriend". I said I was happy for them and wished her the best.

This happened a month ago. I kept our dates discreet, but for one reason or another I have felt that some of the people from our group have been acting weird towards me lately. And then I got an angry message from her boyfriend. It turns out she told him about our little "adventure" and he is angry at me for "taking advantage when she was in a weak position" and that he dont want me "around anymore". I guess he told the rest of the group that I tried to seduce "his girl" (he is one of the leaders) and they are ignoring my messages. Now I am kicked out from the group and have to start all over again.

What is this? And why did this happen? Would it be different if I managed to bed her? Did this happen because she wanted me, but got mad that I couldn't bed her and then acted aloof sending her to auto-rejection?

I am now convinced, after this experience, that social circle game is not my thing. But what are your take on this guys? Do some of you meet women through social circle or do you meet women exclusively from cold approach?

And what are your experiences (good and bad ones) with social circles and pick up? It feel like I cant be a part of the group after this, and I am sad that people think that I took advantage of her when she clearly wanted to meet me and get seduced by me. And I realized that I cant explain what really happened because everyone has made their opinion about me. Not a good one to say it mildly. Have some of you had an experience like this?

 

[Bboy100]

I'm not experienced enough in social circle to give field tested advice. These are merely suggestions to consider. Based on speculation, not practice. So take everything I say here with a grain of salt:

Solution #1: If the dude was a good friend, talk to him. Let him chill out/cool off for a week or two. Then explain the situation to him. He's unlikely to understand. But if this does work, it would be the easiest route.

Solution #2: If #1 doesn't work, or you think it would be pointless to even try it, meet with all the other members of the group without the dude or the girl around. At some point, casually mention to them what happened. You can even use phrases like "He's overreacting, don't you agree?" To which, they'll likely reply "Yeah, for sure!" or something along those lines. After it's been established that you didn't do anything sleazy or shitty, it could be fairly easy to turn the rest of the group to your side.

Having said that, Radeng's solution sounds a lot better than both of mine. But it does require a certain finesse to pull off. Cause you have to seem calm/in control the whole time. If you yourself sound angry/butthurt when you shit talk him, it could have a negative effect. But if you can do it, i'd go for it.