- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 417
Not sure how to feel about this one, there was clear attraction but not a result, and I think I should have pushed more for the pull. As always all insights are welcome.
The approach
I was walking by the riverside in my city when I saw a cute looking short girl coming towards me. I stopped her on the spot and told her something along the lines of her looking very cute and classy at the same time. She hooked almost instantly, since we were fairly close when talking and she wasn't backing off at all, seeming to enjoy it. The funny thing is that this surprised me for a second, because the girl was not only stylishly dressed with a fairly nice body, but her face was also very pretty, at least for my tastes.
But I eased into the tension and quickly tried to learn what she was up to. She told me she is Brazilian, she is in my city doing some kind of practice for her dermatology specialization for few weeks, and just walking around with the plan to maybe go for a drink. So I obviously proposed we go and have one together and we started walking.
I don't remember many details about the whole conversation because it seemed to flow quite naturally. I was generally trying to keep some intrigue, let's same not telling her right away my age and asking her back first, and she was also pretty talkative herself, so I was simply intervening with short comments once in a while. I also tried to keep the conversation a bit light, and not get into very much deep diving before getting to the bar.
At the bar
After we arrived at the open air bar and sat down, I positioned my chair quite close to hers, she didn't mind at all, and from time to time I was touching her back and legs. Conversationally wise I started getting more into deep diving. She told me she wanted to become a dermatologist due to a skin condition she had in the past, and she wants to help people like that and it's her dream to it. I of course complimented her on that.
She also talked about Brazil and the areas she grew up, that she is a countryside girl, that she loves working hard and partying hard, that she is not really planning at all and is quite spontaneous, that she loves shopping and dressing fancy a lot. A bunch of these came after questions or comments of mine about how she was as a child, or what she likes doing when she has time, how adventurous and spontaneous she is etc. I also gave her a number of compliments regarding what she was saying, for example that I love women who can have a dream and go after it working hard, while keeping their feminine energy, and she even told me herself that she is not a feminist at all and she likes being feminine.
I had in mind to also get more sexual this time so I moved the topics there as well. I asked how what's her relationship with men, because I feel many would be scared by a girl like her with such a career. She told me she has had 3 relationship that she basically ended because the guys got too clingy. I told her that it's difficult for girls nowadays, because they either meet someone very needy or someone that doesn't care about them at all and just wants sex.
After a bit of more general discussion, in the middle of some comment she was making, I straight up stopped her and asked her: "Do you like sex?", she was a bit shocked with a big smile but I did not flinch so she went of course she loves it, but it needs to be with the right guy, you have to get to know each other first. I told her that she is right, trust is very important and you have to be with someone that you know will care for you, and I believe that if you feel something it's better to explore it and live your life. That time is relative, and you can feel a strong connection with someone, and it's stupid to wait for many dates for something you desire and feels right for you. She agreed to these, and I also mentioned how women can also enjoy much more pleasure than men sexually with multiple orgasms, and she said yeah but it's difficult to find someone that can offer that, and I agreed and said that yes, it's really important to care about each other's pleasure, be present, in order to create something transcendent together.
At some point she mentioned how she ended up talking about all that with someone she just met, but I kept it chill and also changed to other topics to not overwhelm her. I am thinking that maybe I should have fractionated this sex talk a bit, but the thing is the time was passing, the drinks were getting finished and I didn't want to risk getting back to other topics, and trying to find ways to naturally get back into sex talk. I did take a break between talking about the girls dating experience and talking about sex directly at least as I said.
After the bar
After a while I proposed we get up and walk a bit. My idea here was to take her to my usual area with nice view, where I kissed the other Brazilian from my lay report some time ago, and kiss her there. The thing is that this central area of the city is a bit far from my place, meaning at least 20+ minutes by a combination of public transport and walking. So by staying around there a pull towards my place was a bit out of the question, and my thinking process was to go eventually to her place.
This was a decision I made because she told me that her place was around. In general if I find girls that obviously go or live towards my area I invite them there. A lot of times though they either want to meet downtown when it comes to dates, or I meet them downtown and they live either around or further away from my place. In these scenarios I have either been trying to have an initial meeting downtown and then invite them over from there, or for same day scenarios inviting them over in my area from the beginning with the excuse of some nice bar/coffee place there. Here I didn't do any of the two, mostly focusing on getting to her place, but I don't think it eventually was the best choice.
As we were walking I even mentioned I am enjoying my time with her and would love to spend more, but my place is far to invite her there now. I was trying to put a barrier to maybe have her propose we could go chill to hers but she didn't. Then as we arrived at the view point I decided ok, let's kiss her here, and then we work on that. I also had the experience of the last Brazilian girl basically getting very excited and complying to go to her place from the same location. Only difference though that now was still day, way earlier than that time, and also more people there even kids, so It would have been more awkward to build a lot of arousal. Or at least that's how I felt.
Kissing and not pulling
Anyway we sat there at the edge of the cliff, talked a bit about the view, and at some point I just went for the kiss and she was really waiting for it. I was pulling back and could see her stay with her lips there waiting for more. After the first kiss, she leaned her head on my shoulder and asked me about the music I listen to, I told her about some of the songs I play in the guitar and invited her to play some in my place. She said no it's just the first day we meet, so I kept the conversation on other topics to not build on negative compliance. We gave some more kisses, quite good ones, for example for one we were simply looking at each other, I told her to come and kiss me and she did passionately. Then we kept talking and I proposed we could take some food and go eat at her place. She told me that we could just go eat somewhere in the city, and I didn't want to push there either.
I then led her to a place to get take away, and during the walk we were holding hands a lot. We took the food and then went to sit at some other place with even better view to eat, I felt it would be better than staying at the restaurant. There we did eat for a while and then as we kept talking I went for another kiss and then told her to come sit on my legs and she did. There a gave few kisses to her shoulder and was playing with her hair while talking, and after a bit she stood up and went to sit next to me again.
I kinda felt she was cooling off at that moment, went for another kiss, but this time was more like a short peck from her side, and it instantly ignited my: oh you are not getting away with that. She had started talking a lot about work, so I simply said: You are too focused on work, grabbed her, brought her in and we kissed passionately again for a bit more.
After that I asked her what she thinks of me. She told me I am handsome, a good kisser, I am not very focused on work but want more to live my life and that I am too calm like I am doing weed. She asked me back and I told her that she is very energetic, that she is very focused on work but I feel that behind that she really loves experiencing and enjoying life, that she is also a good kisser, and that she doesn't look that bad herself.
I felt that the vibe was good, I told her that I really enjoy the time with her and her energy, she told me she does too. I said that I wanted to spend more time with her, and she said that she had to go home because it was getting late. So we started walking back until the main street where she wanted to take an uber.
I told her again that I'd love to spend more time with her, but I don't know when it would happen, since she is leaving my city in 10 days, and I will also be a bit busy since then. I was trying to build some barrier to have her make a move, but I think I focused on this technique too much and should have tried to have us get together then and there by going to one of our places.
She told me how she works a lot every day, so I said ok we can see, maybe we can find some time during the week after work or in the next weekend if she doesn't take a trip to another city. We exchanged numbers, she called the uber, and when it came, I was resting with my back against some bars and she came in front of me and gave me two kisses, before leaving with a see you. I don't think I responded with anything there.
A bit later I sent her a text with my name, also telling her it was a nice time tonight and hope she went home safely.
Conclusions
That's the story and I like that at least I made the interaction more sexual with the topics I introduced. Apart from that I think I had a more sexual vibe by the way I was looking at her, I even consciously though at some point: "you can't imagine how many orgasms I'm gonna give you". She also did kiss me, and even looked like she wanted to keep kissing me, so she surely enjoyed that. But eventually nothing more.
The thing is I did try to frame fast seduction as something natural, but either I wasn't that seductive eventually to have her feel ok let's go with it, or I didn't make her feel allowed and safe to go and do it with me right away. I also feel I did not persist enough and my thinking here was that if she evading all requests to go to our places, I'm just gonna build negative compliance by keeping to push.
I do feel though that I should have just gone for a hard push, of this being the only time we have and we have to live it. I didn't go for it and I didn't even built more arousal by getting even more sexual in public due to the idea that if I do these things and don't pull it's over, while by not doing them I may get another meet.
And I don't know maybe in some scenarios it can be a good idea, but in this one that she is also leaving in 10 days I feel I was just stupid to not push more. And really for me the only thing in mind regarding the moves to make is which move has the greatest probability of results. I probably have to experience few more second dates never happening to understand deeply to my core that it is hard push or nothing.
That said I still feel that I could have primed her more during the whole seduction. Maybe I didn't reveal much about myself, I got that feeling when she asked me for my music tastes after the first kiss specifically, but for some random reason I did not reveal much more, although I had time after that. I think I am getting too focused on having the girl talk sometimes, and I remain kinda mysterious which doesn't build comfort eventually though.
All in all, is it frustrating I didn't close the deal again?, hell yes, that's the main goal, that said I at least made my sexual intentions clear, which is something I wanted to do. I feel I have to build a better strategy regarding where exactly to take them, let's say to one two places I know close to my home, and why exactly to have her come to my place, let's say for guitar or for another drink, and stick to that, or even if I change stick to what I change and push all the way through, not thinking there is a future but only today. I guess I only have to find a way to do it that doesn't make me seem too needy to get to my place to have sex.
Oh and I should probably go to Brazil, feels that for some reason most of the Brazilian girls I meet are into me lol
PS I've been thinking about it, and I really feel in this one I didn't connect enough with her. She was talking a lot, and I don't think I even mentioned anything apart from my studies for a bit, nothing about what I like doing. And I guess I am going for mystery, but maybe I should start opening myself up more as the time passes.
The problem is that I have other situations where it feels like I am talking a lot myself sharing things but don't get very sexual. I should try to balance these two, because I'm getting from one extreme to the other and neither of them give results.
In short, getting interested in her both asexually and sexually at the same time.
The approach
I was walking by the riverside in my city when I saw a cute looking short girl coming towards me. I stopped her on the spot and told her something along the lines of her looking very cute and classy at the same time. She hooked almost instantly, since we were fairly close when talking and she wasn't backing off at all, seeming to enjoy it. The funny thing is that this surprised me for a second, because the girl was not only stylishly dressed with a fairly nice body, but her face was also very pretty, at least for my tastes.
But I eased into the tension and quickly tried to learn what she was up to. She told me she is Brazilian, she is in my city doing some kind of practice for her dermatology specialization for few weeks, and just walking around with the plan to maybe go for a drink. So I obviously proposed we go and have one together and we started walking.
I don't remember many details about the whole conversation because it seemed to flow quite naturally. I was generally trying to keep some intrigue, let's same not telling her right away my age and asking her back first, and she was also pretty talkative herself, so I was simply intervening with short comments once in a while. I also tried to keep the conversation a bit light, and not get into very much deep diving before getting to the bar.
At the bar
After we arrived at the open air bar and sat down, I positioned my chair quite close to hers, she didn't mind at all, and from time to time I was touching her back and legs. Conversationally wise I started getting more into deep diving. She told me she wanted to become a dermatologist due to a skin condition she had in the past, and she wants to help people like that and it's her dream to it. I of course complimented her on that.
She also talked about Brazil and the areas she grew up, that she is a countryside girl, that she loves working hard and partying hard, that she is not really planning at all and is quite spontaneous, that she loves shopping and dressing fancy a lot. A bunch of these came after questions or comments of mine about how she was as a child, or what she likes doing when she has time, how adventurous and spontaneous she is etc. I also gave her a number of compliments regarding what she was saying, for example that I love women who can have a dream and go after it working hard, while keeping their feminine energy, and she even told me herself that she is not a feminist at all and she likes being feminine.
I had in mind to also get more sexual this time so I moved the topics there as well. I asked how what's her relationship with men, because I feel many would be scared by a girl like her with such a career. She told me she has had 3 relationship that she basically ended because the guys got too clingy. I told her that it's difficult for girls nowadays, because they either meet someone very needy or someone that doesn't care about them at all and just wants sex.
After a bit of more general discussion, in the middle of some comment she was making, I straight up stopped her and asked her: "Do you like sex?", she was a bit shocked with a big smile but I did not flinch so she went of course she loves it, but it needs to be with the right guy, you have to get to know each other first. I told her that she is right, trust is very important and you have to be with someone that you know will care for you, and I believe that if you feel something it's better to explore it and live your life. That time is relative, and you can feel a strong connection with someone, and it's stupid to wait for many dates for something you desire and feels right for you. She agreed to these, and I also mentioned how women can also enjoy much more pleasure than men sexually with multiple orgasms, and she said yeah but it's difficult to find someone that can offer that, and I agreed and said that yes, it's really important to care about each other's pleasure, be present, in order to create something transcendent together.
At some point she mentioned how she ended up talking about all that with someone she just met, but I kept it chill and also changed to other topics to not overwhelm her. I am thinking that maybe I should have fractionated this sex talk a bit, but the thing is the time was passing, the drinks were getting finished and I didn't want to risk getting back to other topics, and trying to find ways to naturally get back into sex talk. I did take a break between talking about the girls dating experience and talking about sex directly at least as I said.
After the bar
After a while I proposed we get up and walk a bit. My idea here was to take her to my usual area with nice view, where I kissed the other Brazilian from my lay report some time ago, and kiss her there. The thing is that this central area of the city is a bit far from my place, meaning at least 20+ minutes by a combination of public transport and walking. So by staying around there a pull towards my place was a bit out of the question, and my thinking process was to go eventually to her place.
This was a decision I made because she told me that her place was around. In general if I find girls that obviously go or live towards my area I invite them there. A lot of times though they either want to meet downtown when it comes to dates, or I meet them downtown and they live either around or further away from my place. In these scenarios I have either been trying to have an initial meeting downtown and then invite them over from there, or for same day scenarios inviting them over in my area from the beginning with the excuse of some nice bar/coffee place there. Here I didn't do any of the two, mostly focusing on getting to her place, but I don't think it eventually was the best choice.
As we were walking I even mentioned I am enjoying my time with her and would love to spend more, but my place is far to invite her there now. I was trying to put a barrier to maybe have her propose we could go chill to hers but she didn't. Then as we arrived at the view point I decided ok, let's kiss her here, and then we work on that. I also had the experience of the last Brazilian girl basically getting very excited and complying to go to her place from the same location. Only difference though that now was still day, way earlier than that time, and also more people there even kids, so It would have been more awkward to build a lot of arousal. Or at least that's how I felt.
Kissing and not pulling
Anyway we sat there at the edge of the cliff, talked a bit about the view, and at some point I just went for the kiss and she was really waiting for it. I was pulling back and could see her stay with her lips there waiting for more. After the first kiss, she leaned her head on my shoulder and asked me about the music I listen to, I told her about some of the songs I play in the guitar and invited her to play some in my place. She said no it's just the first day we meet, so I kept the conversation on other topics to not build on negative compliance. We gave some more kisses, quite good ones, for example for one we were simply looking at each other, I told her to come and kiss me and she did passionately. Then we kept talking and I proposed we could take some food and go eat at her place. She told me that we could just go eat somewhere in the city, and I didn't want to push there either.
I then led her to a place to get take away, and during the walk we were holding hands a lot. We took the food and then went to sit at some other place with even better view to eat, I felt it would be better than staying at the restaurant. There we did eat for a while and then as we kept talking I went for another kiss and then told her to come sit on my legs and she did. There a gave few kisses to her shoulder and was playing with her hair while talking, and after a bit she stood up and went to sit next to me again.
I kinda felt she was cooling off at that moment, went for another kiss, but this time was more like a short peck from her side, and it instantly ignited my: oh you are not getting away with that. She had started talking a lot about work, so I simply said: You are too focused on work, grabbed her, brought her in and we kissed passionately again for a bit more.
After that I asked her what she thinks of me. She told me I am handsome, a good kisser, I am not very focused on work but want more to live my life and that I am too calm like I am doing weed. She asked me back and I told her that she is very energetic, that she is very focused on work but I feel that behind that she really loves experiencing and enjoying life, that she is also a good kisser, and that she doesn't look that bad herself.
I felt that the vibe was good, I told her that I really enjoy the time with her and her energy, she told me she does too. I said that I wanted to spend more time with her, and she said that she had to go home because it was getting late. So we started walking back until the main street where she wanted to take an uber.
I told her again that I'd love to spend more time with her, but I don't know when it would happen, since she is leaving my city in 10 days, and I will also be a bit busy since then. I was trying to build some barrier to have her make a move, but I think I focused on this technique too much and should have tried to have us get together then and there by going to one of our places.
She told me how she works a lot every day, so I said ok we can see, maybe we can find some time during the week after work or in the next weekend if she doesn't take a trip to another city. We exchanged numbers, she called the uber, and when it came, I was resting with my back against some bars and she came in front of me and gave me two kisses, before leaving with a see you. I don't think I responded with anything there.
A bit later I sent her a text with my name, also telling her it was a nice time tonight and hope she went home safely.
Conclusions
That's the story and I like that at least I made the interaction more sexual with the topics I introduced. Apart from that I think I had a more sexual vibe by the way I was looking at her, I even consciously though at some point: "you can't imagine how many orgasms I'm gonna give you". She also did kiss me, and even looked like she wanted to keep kissing me, so she surely enjoyed that. But eventually nothing more.
The thing is I did try to frame fast seduction as something natural, but either I wasn't that seductive eventually to have her feel ok let's go with it, or I didn't make her feel allowed and safe to go and do it with me right away. I also feel I did not persist enough and my thinking here was that if she evading all requests to go to our places, I'm just gonna build negative compliance by keeping to push.
I do feel though that I should have just gone for a hard push, of this being the only time we have and we have to live it. I didn't go for it and I didn't even built more arousal by getting even more sexual in public due to the idea that if I do these things and don't pull it's over, while by not doing them I may get another meet.
And I don't know maybe in some scenarios it can be a good idea, but in this one that she is also leaving in 10 days I feel I was just stupid to not push more. And really for me the only thing in mind regarding the moves to make is which move has the greatest probability of results. I probably have to experience few more second dates never happening to understand deeply to my core that it is hard push or nothing.
That said I still feel that I could have primed her more during the whole seduction. Maybe I didn't reveal much about myself, I got that feeling when she asked me for my music tastes after the first kiss specifically, but for some random reason I did not reveal much more, although I had time after that. I think I am getting too focused on having the girl talk sometimes, and I remain kinda mysterious which doesn't build comfort eventually though.
All in all, is it frustrating I didn't close the deal again?, hell yes, that's the main goal, that said I at least made my sexual intentions clear, which is something I wanted to do. I feel I have to build a better strategy regarding where exactly to take them, let's say to one two places I know close to my home, and why exactly to have her come to my place, let's say for guitar or for another drink, and stick to that, or even if I change stick to what I change and push all the way through, not thinking there is a future but only today. I guess I only have to find a way to do it that doesn't make me seem too needy to get to my place to have sex.
Oh and I should probably go to Brazil, feels that for some reason most of the Brazilian girls I meet are into me lol
PS I've been thinking about it, and I really feel in this one I didn't connect enough with her. She was talking a lot, and I don't think I even mentioned anything apart from my studies for a bit, nothing about what I like doing. And I guess I am going for mystery, but maybe I should start opening myself up more as the time passes.
The problem is that I have other situations where it feels like I am talking a lot myself sharing things but don't get very sexual. I should try to balance these two, because I'm getting from one extreme to the other and neither of them give results.
In short, getting interested in her both asexually and sexually at the same time.
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