Korean Bliss (HOT) - F Closed now no 2nd "Date" ?

[rabbithole]

New to the forum, first post... before I say anything else, I need to say:

THANK YOU CHASE. Your material is gold, you are brilliant, and you clearly LOVE to help people. There is no greater gift in this world than that, in my opinion. You've helped and are helping me BIG TIME. I owe you, and I admire you.

Background: we're both early 30's, she's a nurse who works overnight shifts usually, Korean, smoking body, lives with her mom still (born in Korea and moved here at 16 yrs old, still very "traditional" according to her...even though we fucked) - teased her about living with her mom (see: "grounded" below) a few times but always clearly jokeful about it

Met a girl (Kelly) about 2 weeks ago at a huge party my brother was hosting. Kept the initial interaction to 5 min or so, definite interest from her, got her # and arranged a date.

Met for drinks last Friday, stayed at the bar for about 2-3 hours (she paid...I tried to say we'd split it, she just said she'd get the tab so I let her...Chase is a f'in Genius), took her home to have some wine and chill. Took her as my lover within 10 min of getting home, MAD PROPS TO CHASE!!!
Only resistance she put up was for the 1st kiss...she turned away and giggled. I pulled her back in within seconds and she didn't resist anything else, all the way through sex. On the drive to my place she did mention how her legs weren't shaved (seemed shaved to me, plus she had on some short ass shorts...so not sure if she was just second guessing what was about to happen or what), and mentioned it again at my place. made some comment before we even kissed about how she didn't plan on anything like "this" on the first date etc...I just shrugged it off more or less.

Anyways, sex was pretty good (as unbiased as I could be), took her back to her car near the bar and said goodnight after 2-3 hours of intimacy. Texted next morning (Saturday), and here's the dialogue since then:

May 10 - Saturday 10:54am
Me: Hey Kelly, had a great time last night. Hope you aren't too tired for work and didn't get grounded
11:21am
Kelly: I had a great time too! still tired but good pain Have a good weekend

May 13 - Tuesday 11:56am
Me: Hey Kelly, hope you're rested from work all weekend. What's your schedule look like Wed-Friday? I'm thinking of grabbing Thai food or cooking you a delicious dinner the next time we meet since you paid for our drinks. Which day's best?

May 14 - Wednesday 12:47pm
Kelly: Hi ____, I worked from Sat night to last night. Just woke up (she put a "sleeping" emoticon face). How is your week going?
8:59pm
Me: Wow, you work some crazy hours! Busy week for me too, need more sleep! So tomorrow forgot I have a football game, but Fri I am house/dog sitting for my bro. Will have the house all to myself... Let me know if you're down for a cooked meal and movie, and maybe a personal tour if you promise to behave...
10:48pm
Kelly: Lol a cooked with movie sounds good. It's tempting
Kelly: *cooked meal
11:29pm
Me: Very tempting Let's say Fri at 7:30pm. That good on your end?
11:48pm
Kelly: Just got a text from hospital asking for help Friday night..,,
(she sent a screenshot of the text from her hospital manager/friend asking for help... I guess as "proof" ?----in reality she could have had a friend send her the text I suppose. It was odd she sent this, so immediately I was like "huh?")
Kelly: Thinking about going to work at 11pm Friday night

May 15 Thursday 11:12am
Me: Completely understand, your job is very unpredictable! Let me know what you end up deciding... you work too much and need to relax more!
8:38pm
Me: Hey Kelly! So dinner, yes/no? Want to figure out my plans for tomorrow... either way is cool
8:51pm
Kelly: Maybe no. Haven't decided whether to go to work, but I don't want to hold you. I'm sorry

Please feel free to:

1) Critique any of my texting
2) Provide insight into her decline to a 2nd "date"
3) How to react to this now... where to go from here if I want to see her again (dont think shes gf material but even hard for me to say at this point). Thus far I haven't replied at all...

I've read a TON on girlschase.com, but I haven't seen all that much material in what to do when/if girls don't agree to 2nd dates AFTER intimacy on the first date... Chase? Would be awesome if he weighed in on this. I appreciate any comments though from the readers.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Kelly: Lol a cooked with movie sounds good. It's tempting
Kelly: *cooked meal

Good save Kelly lel

Me: Wow, you work some crazy hours! Busy week for me too, need more sleep! So tomorrow forgot I have a football game, but Fri I am house/dog sitting for my bro. Will have the house all to myself... Let me know if you're down for a cooked meal and movie, and maybe a personal tour if you promise to behave...

I really like this message cause you tell her your week was busy but didn't reveal anything what happened on your weekend (maintained mystery). In addition you also made the text kind of sexual tell her if she promises to behave .

Provide insight into her decline to a 2nd "date"

I think it was a full out decline i think she really might have been working otherwise she would go to all the effort to send you a picture of the message about her having to work. (unless she is just trying to save your feelings, but if that's the case she wouldn't of agreed in the first place,)

I think in this scenario you should of attempted a reschedule made a comment how you busy Saturday or something but it could work Sunday

Anyways welcome to GC forums and i recommend reading some field reports cause they have some similar situations

Im guessing this will probably get moved to the field report section

 

[rabbithole]

Thanks.

I just thought it was strange she showed me the text screenshot of her needing to work at all...like, was that really necessary?

And I don't know if she really ever agreed to the 2nd date..."sounds good" can mean like yeah I'm in, or just like "sounds fun..." And she followed that up with "very tempting."

I thought it was strange she never replied to when I told her to let me know her decision...I had to retext her back later that night.
Ill check the field reports and maybe post there too...didn't realize this should go there.

As for rescheduling I took her text as a "flake" or just a "no" and I thought Chase recommends not immediately rescheduling when/if that happens. Could def use some advice on how to reengage and keep momentum up...did seal the deal already so should be somewhat easier, but def at the least want some more time to chill and obviously hook up.

 

[Franco]

rabbithole,

I don't see anything terribly wrong here, and unless she didn't enjoy the sex, I don't see too many reasons why she would decline hanging out again.

That being said...

I wouldn't have invited her out for a "date" after you've already slept with her. That's going backwards. Dates are part of the courting process to sleep with a girl. Inviting her out to dinner (even after having slept together) just feels awkward when she would probably just rather come over to your place, maybe have a small meal, and then get straight to intercourse.

I would hit her up again soon (within the next 4-7 days maybe) and invite her straight over to your place to cook a meal together. No reason to prolong things!

- Franco

 

[Mr. oblivious]

I don't know if she really ever agreed to the 2nd date..."sounds good" can mean like yeah I'm in, or just like "sounds fun..." And she followed that up with "very tempting."

My bad i must of just warped it in my memory when i went to right it

 

[rabbithole]

rabbithole,

I don't see anything terribly wrong here, and unless she didn't enjoy the sex, I don't see too many reasons why she would decline hanging out again.

That being said...

I wouldn't have invited her out for a "date" after you've already slept with her. That's going backwards. Dates are part of the courting process to sleep with a girl. Inviting her out to dinner (even after having slept together) just feels awkward when she would probably just rather come over to your place, maybe have a small meal, and then get straight to intercourse.

I would hit her up again soon (within the next 4-7 days maybe) and invite her straight over to your place to cook a meal together. No reason to prolong things!

- Franco

Thank you franco, respect your word immensely.

Let me clarify, I did invite her to a meal (that id cook) and movie but at my bro's place, as I had to house sit. So it's sorta like inviting her to my place, but not really.

I will not respond to her last text ("maybe no"), and reengage in 4-7 days as you said.
Any sample texts you'd use...?

My thought:
"Hey Kelly! Lets cook a meal together this week sometime at my place. How's your schedule like this week?"

Any more than that, anything I should add?

Yup, I've done tons of reading but VERY new to putting it into action. So working on all that and just trusting what I'm capable of...but def welcome the help/encouragement.

 

[Franco]

rabbithole,

My thought:
"Hey Kelly! Lets cook a meal together this week sometime at my place. How's your schedule like this week?"

Any more than that, anything I should add?

That's fine, but I would split it up into two texts or so instead of just cold texting her for big compliance right off the bat. Something more like this:

You: Hey Kelly! How was your weekend?
Her: It was good! I was really busy with work though. How was yours?
You: It was great! Went out with some friends and enjoyed a few drinks. Interested in relaxing a bit from work and cooking a meal with me at my place this week?

That way you at least get initial compliance from her before just directly hitting her with an investment request without any previous compliance.

- Franco

 

[rabbithole]

Franco and others,

thanks for all your advice. I followed what you said Franco and waited from Thursday of last week up until today (Wednesday) to text her. Texted her as follows:

May 21 Wed 5:55pm
Me: Hi Kelly! How was your weekend? Hope you didn't work too much

6:02pm (7 minutes later......)
Her: Hi! Not really. Worked Sunday and Monday nights only. How are you?

6:24pm
Me: I'm great! So busy. Interested in relaxing and cooking a meal with me at my place this coming weekend?

9:14pm
Her: I'd love to!!! But my sister coming to town this weekend

So...thoughts on this? Part of me wants to believe her but also may be her turning me down politely. You guys will know more and have some good advice. How do I proceed best from here to maximize seeing her (and of course being intimate) again? I didn't text anything back yet, wanted to hear some opinions first.

rabbithole,

My thought:
"Hey Kelly! Lets cook a meal together this week sometime at my place. How's your schedule like this week?"

Any more than that, anything I should add?

That's fine, but I would split it up into two texts or so instead of just cold texting her for big compliance right off the bat. Something more like this:

You: Hey Kelly! How was your weekend?
Her: It was good! I was really busy with work though. How was yours?
You: It was great! Went out with some friends and enjoyed a few drinks. Interested in relaxing a bit from work and cooking a meal with me at my place this week?

That way you at least get initial compliance from her before just directly hitting her with an investment request without any previous compliance.

- Franco

 

[rabbithole]

Did my post disappear?

I apologize if I wasn't supposed to post in 2 places, someone told me to move it to the field reports so I did and then both places started getting replies... please combine threads?

 

[rabbithole]

Ok here's what I posted. I will keep the thread here in general unless it should be in "field reports" - can a moderator move if need be? or combine the threads? not sure how it works here.
thank you

Franco and others,

thanks for all your advice. I followed what you said Franco and waited from Thursday of last week up until today (Wednesday) to text her. Texted her as follows:

May 21 Wed 5:55pm
Me: Hi Kelly! How was your weekend? Hope you didn't work too much

6:02pm (7 minutes later......)
Her: Hi! Not really. Worked Sunday and Monday nights only. How are you?

6:24pm
Me: I'm great! So busy. Interested in relaxing and cooking a meal with me at my place this coming weekend?

9:14pm
Her: I'd love to!!! But my sister coming to town this weekend

So...thoughts on this? Part of me wants to believe her but also may be her turning me down politely. You guys will know more and have some good advice. How do I proceed best from here to maximize seeing her (and of course being intimate) again? I didn't text anything back yet, wanted to hear some opinions first.

rabbithole,

My thought:
"Hey Kelly! Lets cook a meal together this week sometime at my place. How's your schedule like this week?"

Any more than that, anything I should add?

That's fine, but I would split it up into two texts or so instead of just cold texting her for big compliance right off the bat. Something more like this:

You: Hey Kelly! How was your weekend?
Her: It was good! I was really busy with work though. How was yours?
You: It was great! Went out with some friends and enjoyed a few drinks. Interested in relaxing a bit from work and cooking a meal with me at my place this week?

That way you at least get initial compliance from her before just directly hitting her with an investment request without any previous compliance.

- Franco

 

[rabbithole]

Here's an update...

I responded to her text about her sister visiting for the long weekend (memorial day) the next day at night, with this:

5:05pm May 22
"Okay, no problem. Tell you what, just let me know when you’re free and we’ll set it up."

She responded back:
6:00pm
Sounds good!

I used the text above right from an article chase wrote, here:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/get-g ... le-get-lot

Thoughts? Do I now not make any contact whatsoever for at least _____ amount of time and just see what happens?
If I don't hear from her in a couple weeks is following up always a bad idea?

Still not sure she's def interested but you all seem confident she is.

One thing I didn't mention was after intimacy that night I took her home quickly thereafter...she lives with her mom and her mom was expecting her at midnight. So didn't rush her out per say, but did want to get her home to avoid issues there. That's prob something I coulda done better, laying/chillin more in bed with her afterwards as chase mentions in an article...so she walks away without resentment and looks back on the night positively from all aspects.

Also, when I dropped her off I gave her a kiss and said goodnight. I assume a small kiss is good in that situation but perhaps not. I def didn't mention anything about seeing her again or anything that I know is bad or "wrong" etc

 

[rabbithole]

Would anyone be able to provide some advice on what to do from here?

Is ball in her court and that's good at this point, or what? Should I have done anything differently?

 

[Ross]

rabbithole,

Franco covered the major points, but I just have a minor tips on this one,

Always persist when a girl feels dodgy about deciding whether or not to go on another date. Whenever you hear "maybe" from a girl, it means you need to convince her into going with you. Girls often do this as a way of testing whether or not you are a strong man who will take charge and get her on the date; additionally, she may feel that she doesn't want to be too easy to get (especially considering the fast intimacy), and thus makes herself seem busy or unavailable to promote you to chase.

Now that the ball is in her court, it'd probably be best to give her a week or so of radio silence and focus on making an effort in meeting more women in the meantime. Keeping yourself actively meeting more women is a good way to prevent any chasing tendencies that may be the result of waiting for a text from her.

 

[rabbithole]

rabbithole,

Franco covered the major points, but I just have a minor tips on this one,

Always persist when a girl feels dodgy about deciding whether or not to go on another date. Whenever you hear "maybe" from a girl, it means you need to convince her into going with you. Girls often do this as a way of testing whether or not you are a strong man who will take charge and get her on the date; additionally, she may feel that she doesn't want to be too easy to get (especially considering the fast intimacy), and thus makes herself seem busy or unavailable to promote you to chase.

Now that the ball is in her court, it'd probably be best to give her a week or so of radio silence and focus on making an effort in meeting more women in the meantime. Keeping yourself actively meeting more women is a good way to prevent any chasing tendencies that may be the result of waiting for a text from her.

Thanks. I guess i'm confused as to how I would have "convinced" her to go on a 2nd date with me without coming off as chasing. If you read through my texts i did basically exactly what was recommended. when i asked her out the 2nd time (for the 2nd date the 2nd time) and she said her sis was coming into town, i felt that if i just said cool and then just text back in a bit its creating scenarios where shes getting used to saying no to me. so i threw the ball in her court. no idea if thats the best thing to do there (strategically speaking, best play to get to see her again) but didnt know what else to do and didnt want to feel myself like i was chasing