@spear_kin,
It's absolutely this. I only "feel it" when I can do this. And I worry when I think the woman won't be into it.
Why would she be having sex with you if she isn't into it?
I mean, it happens. But there is always some other motivation if she is deciding "Well, I don't want dick, but I'll let him put his dick in me."
If it's the first time in bed and I suspect for whatever reason she isn't into it (like e.g. when you pull off a pure logistics pickup where the girl was never that interested in you or aroused, you just made the logistics happen and started escalating and she was like "Sure, what the hell!"), I let myself just enjoy that, like, "Ha, this girl's getting it even though she isn't feeling it. Time to plant my flag!" and just go hard and have a great time of it. Sometimes she gets into it, sometimes not.
There's a lot you can do with women mid-sex to arouse them. I don't know how good your sexual performance is. It's worth getting good at that stuff. Dan Rose's book
The Sex God Method is a good guide to that. But it sounds like your main issue is psychological, so focusing on technique at this point might even be counterproductive (or maybe not? Maybe if you knew you were a Sex God, you wouldn't be so worried about women getting bored?).
If it's relationship sex and the girl isn't really into it, depends on my mood. If I'm really horny my brain will just say, "This pussy is so mine she's taking my dick even when she's not in the mood. I'm going hard on this dry pussy till it lubes up or the skin chafes!"
OTOH if I'm not that horny, and the girl is not into it, a lot of the time I'll just be annoyed with her for not being into it and will just stop and tell her, "Seems like you're not really into it right now."
The response is always the same: the girl will say, "Sorry, I just can't stop thinking about the argument with my friends / this problem at work / my sister in the hospital / etc."
Then you just say no worries, we can do this some other time when you're more focused.
Half the time that's all the girl needs to clear her mind and focus on the sex and pounce on you like a lioness. The other half the time you just adjourn then and there and save yourself from some bad, boring sex.
But the point it is you are always focused on YOUR enjoyment of the woman.
Either you are getting off on that you're fucking this pussy even if the girl isn't feeling it (conqueror mentality! Do you think conquering warriors worry that "Oh no, the nubile maiden I have seized from the village I conquered is not fully enjoying herself!"? Hell no! They just get off on that they're planting their flag in a nubile maiden from a village they conquered!)...
... or else if that's not the case you're like, "Eh, I don't want to fuck a girl who's not feeling it," and you pull out and cancel the sex.
It is never this thing of "Oh no I have to make her enjoy it!"
Assuming you are an even halfway decent lover, if she's not enjoying it, that's a "her" problem.
(I mean, don't be totally negligent of your technique / foreplay / etc., obviously, but you get the drift)
yeah I love to actually say that stuff to her.
That's good.
Though keep in mind: I am talking about
your mentality, i.e., what is going on in
your head.
Thanks
@Chase !
What I'm really interested to learn is how to extract that from women, even those that "defend" against being put into that state. Or actually, how to get past this "they will shame me for it" mindset.
Don't say it to them.
Just think it.
No girl is going to shame you for conquering her pussy when she decides to spread her legs for you anyway and open up that dry pussy and you go hard on it anyway, jackhammering your way to her puckered cervix.
No girl is going to shame you for flipping her bored body around like a rag doll and having your way with her when she's the one who put herself there in front of you in the first place.
It is not a test, like, "Well I am not turned on but let's see if he does the PROPER MALE FEMINIST ALLY THING and declines sex with me because he recognizes my arousal level is only at 61%, not 97%," and then when you fail she goes and lectures you about, "For shame! You should know when a woman offers you her pussy if she isn't fully into it it is the male responsibility to decline the not-fully-interested pussy and uphold the woman's dignity and right to only fully-interested sex!"
She is going to respect you MORE for manhandling her when she's only semi-interested, and passionately tearing into her regardless her arousal level, using her like your sex toy, than she will if you are Mr. Nice Guy who's all, "Oh my. You seem not into it today. Is there anything I can do? How can I better serve you, milady?"
Women like powerful guys who go for what they want.
Or, who discard them if they can't get what they want from them (i.e., she's not into it, you are bored/annoyed, so you just stop thrusting and tell her, "Seems like you're not really into it," and when she confirms / doesn't immediately dive into it to seduce you and get you to keep going, you pull out and go do something better with your time).
Again, does not mean you are not a good lover, who is sensitive to her needs, turns her on properly, uses good technique, etc.
But it does take two to make love, and when a woman's head is not there, and you have done what you should on your end, that is HER party foul, not YOURS! You need to internalize this!
Chase
