- Joined
- Aug 25, 2014
- Messages
- 1,149
Some background
I am Seppuku, 46 years old divorced french national, working in a governmental company here in Doha in a middle management role. It's Qatar here, conservative Muslim country, with high social pressure and sexual repression, but I discovered 18 months ago that a lot of things actually happen under the hood. There are a few bars here with night life, music, live bands, beers and chicks, but night game was never really my thing. The other big "underground" avenue for dating is the online dating apps, and this has been my main way of getting girls since 2014.
Flashback to Dec 15th, 2015.
I engage Laurie, a 32 years old cute Philippines girl, on WeChat (a mobile based, Facebook like app, with a "people nearby" feature that allows cold approach on people in vicinity). There is quickly a good response, and we soon strike a chat. I usually structure my approach like this
* basic get to know conversation
* picture exchange: I ask for her pics, and send her mine if she asks for it
* some level of rapport / comfort building
With online dating apps, I believe you have to go through these steps if you want the girl to become comfortable enough to meet you face to face later. As long as you are careful not to be caught with a chat queen in a chat going nowhere.
I soon learn that she's mother of three, separated, from a conservative province of the Philippines. She was forced to marry at a young age because she was caught in bed with a man, this man turned out later to become a drug addict, and her relationship turned into drama. Like many girls here, she's working to support her children financially. Normally I would push for a quick meeting if I'm interested. However this was just the day before my departure for Christmas holidays, so this chat went on hold.
Jan 7th
On Jan 7th I was back to Doha, and I have the (good) surprise of getting her video call request. We see each other by video call for the first time for a few minutes. We continue by chat, and I send her a few pictures from my vacations. However I'm currently already busy with two girls (Gina and Abby, that I am fucking both). Plus, a lot of things are going on in other areas of my life. So, I didn't have time to pursue this interaction and things died out... for now.
March 10th
My life is now a bit more quiet and I have room for dating. I reapproached Laurie by chat like two weeks earlier, but only today does our conversation resume. The flow goes well, there's lots of teasing, and I do my usual technique of hinting at her coming to my place. It's mostly teasing, showing her pictures of the view from my apartment, showing her my location on Maps, showing her pictures of my cooking, of my wine reserve, etc... without never explicitly asking her. The next day she's the first to contact me. I quickly propose a real life meeting later in the day. She initially puts up some token resistance ("I usually don't go out", etc...) but eventually agrees.
First date - awkward pull and failed escalation
I meet her on March 11th, at 6 pm. My initial date plan (beach coffee shop) is out because it's already night time, so instead I take her to the Kempinski Lounge, one of my favorite spots here in Doha. I have already initiated physical contact in the car. As we wait for our food in the Lounge, I proceed to touch and caress her hair, while holding her hand and making her talk. We eat, have drinks, and now there's a live band. Nice music but too loud for conversation. It's 7:30 pm and decide to move to Strata bar (my other favorite spot here). We go there, and the city view is breathtaking, puts you in contemplative mood. We have one glass, chat a bit. I decide to move out. Let's try to pull. In hindsight I should have skipped to Strata and tried to pull directly after the first spot.
My home is just 200m away. I tell her that I'm going to show her my flat and just drive to my home. When I park in my spot, we have drama number one, she doesn't want to go out of the car. "OMG I don't want that. OK I drive you back!" I tell her, but in the face of my reaction she agrees to come and see. In my flat we have a couple of minutes enjoying the city view, then I put music and serve a little wine. I try to make her comfortable, but she's nervous. I try to take her in my arms and kiss her, but drama number two, she blocks my kiss by putting her hand in front of her mouth. Try again a couple of times, same. OK it's 9:30pm, I'm done with this, and drive her home. I manage to hide my disappointment of the situation and remain cool.
The next few days
On 12th, I'm busy all day. I take Abby my GF to my home and fuck her, and later in the evening have appointment with colleagues for cinema and dining out. I find out that Laurie chased me over text and calls all the day. I tell her I'm at cinema and she points I try to make her jealous. "Jealous? You wouldn't even kiss me." She returns a bunch of explanations into why ("first time", "I'm ashamed", "I didn't expect it", "I had just puffed one cigarette", etc... nothing credible), and points I'm upset at her not kissing me. Doesn't hold, given the tons of explanation text she just sent. "Sounds like you're the one upset ;-)".
On 13th, she chases me again. She mentions something we discussed and says I'm a loner.
The rest of the chat, I put a little sexual humor ("I'm holding something hard in my left hand, namely... My phone!") and she pretends not to understand.
I conclude the chat with some dating advice: "In this county, people come and go, you can't even blame them. Find people you can spend quality time with. But do not build high expectations. Do like myself, just take things easy."
This is, in summary, the essence of what we discussed over text after our first date. I framed it this way: no frustration, no judgement, mysterious, open sexually, non chasey. My dating advice sounded like a concluding comment, and I never tried to even suggest a second meeting. Sounded like I'm off her. In the week there was little further exchange, and she initiated all of it.
March 18th. Down To Fuck
In the early afternoon she texts me and tells me she's alone at home. I suggest a video call, she pretexts a bad connection, but I video call her anyway. I tell her that we could go to this beach cafe after all. She switches subject, and asks me if I cook. Lol. We agree on a cooking date at my place.
At 5:30pm she's here and helps me a bit with the cooking. At 6:30pm we're done, food served with some Spanish red wine, it's good, eating finished. Things are much warmer this time. She comes in my arms and put her head on my shoulder, and surprise, she initiates the kiss. She's a good kisser, we make out a lot, and I start kissing her neck. She loves it. I can sense her excitement growing, by her breathing rythm. She's now grabbing my dick through my trousers. Soon I extract her boobs and start sucking her nipples thoroughly, and she loves it. She asks if I have condoms, and yes, I have tons of condoms. I bring one. Clothes off. I start sucking her pussy good and drive her crazy ("I like it!"). After I'm done she's at my dick and give me a very nice blow job. Condom on. I give her a good experience, she comes three times, we fuck for about one hour in total, then I come.
My reading of this experience
She came to the first date with expectations of strong BF behavior. The way I behaved conflicted with her expectations, so blocking. I managed to successfully reframe the context, and I did it with some "bye bye" undertones. Her ASD bullshit dropped overnight and she came home for sex.
I am Seppuku, 46 years old divorced french national, working in a governmental company here in Doha in a middle management role. It's Qatar here, conservative Muslim country, with high social pressure and sexual repression, but I discovered 18 months ago that a lot of things actually happen under the hood. There are a few bars here with night life, music, live bands, beers and chicks, but night game was never really my thing. The other big "underground" avenue for dating is the online dating apps, and this has been my main way of getting girls since 2014.
Flashback to Dec 15th, 2015.
I engage Laurie, a 32 years old cute Philippines girl, on WeChat (a mobile based, Facebook like app, with a "people nearby" feature that allows cold approach on people in vicinity). There is quickly a good response, and we soon strike a chat. I usually structure my approach like this
* basic get to know conversation
* picture exchange: I ask for her pics, and send her mine if she asks for it
* some level of rapport / comfort building
With online dating apps, I believe you have to go through these steps if you want the girl to become comfortable enough to meet you face to face later. As long as you are careful not to be caught with a chat queen in a chat going nowhere.
I soon learn that she's mother of three, separated, from a conservative province of the Philippines. She was forced to marry at a young age because she was caught in bed with a man, this man turned out later to become a drug addict, and her relationship turned into drama. Like many girls here, she's working to support her children financially. Normally I would push for a quick meeting if I'm interested. However this was just the day before my departure for Christmas holidays, so this chat went on hold.
Jan 7th
On Jan 7th I was back to Doha, and I have the (good) surprise of getting her video call request. We see each other by video call for the first time for a few minutes. We continue by chat, and I send her a few pictures from my vacations. However I'm currently already busy with two girls (Gina and Abby, that I am fucking both). Plus, a lot of things are going on in other areas of my life. So, I didn't have time to pursue this interaction and things died out... for now.
March 10th
My life is now a bit more quiet and I have room for dating. I reapproached Laurie by chat like two weeks earlier, but only today does our conversation resume. The flow goes well, there's lots of teasing, and I do my usual technique of hinting at her coming to my place. It's mostly teasing, showing her pictures of the view from my apartment, showing her my location on Maps, showing her pictures of my cooking, of my wine reserve, etc... without never explicitly asking her. The next day she's the first to contact me. I quickly propose a real life meeting later in the day. She initially puts up some token resistance ("I usually don't go out", etc...) but eventually agrees.
First date - awkward pull and failed escalation
I meet her on March 11th, at 6 pm. My initial date plan (beach coffee shop) is out because it's already night time, so instead I take her to the Kempinski Lounge, one of my favorite spots here in Doha. I have already initiated physical contact in the car. As we wait for our food in the Lounge, I proceed to touch and caress her hair, while holding her hand and making her talk. We eat, have drinks, and now there's a live band. Nice music but too loud for conversation. It's 7:30 pm and decide to move to Strata bar (my other favorite spot here). We go there, and the city view is breathtaking, puts you in contemplative mood. We have one glass, chat a bit. I decide to move out. Let's try to pull. In hindsight I should have skipped to Strata and tried to pull directly after the first spot.
My home is just 200m away. I tell her that I'm going to show her my flat and just drive to my home. When I park in my spot, we have drama number one, she doesn't want to go out of the car. "OMG I don't want that. OK I drive you back!" I tell her, but in the face of my reaction she agrees to come and see. In my flat we have a couple of minutes enjoying the city view, then I put music and serve a little wine. I try to make her comfortable, but she's nervous. I try to take her in my arms and kiss her, but drama number two, she blocks my kiss by putting her hand in front of her mouth. Try again a couple of times, same. OK it's 9:30pm, I'm done with this, and drive her home. I manage to hide my disappointment of the situation and remain cool.
The next few days
On 12th, I'm busy all day. I take Abby my GF to my home and fuck her, and later in the evening have appointment with colleagues for cinema and dining out. I find out that Laurie chased me over text and calls all the day. I tell her I'm at cinema and she points I try to make her jealous. "Jealous? You wouldn't even kiss me." She returns a bunch of explanations into why ("first time", "I'm ashamed", "I didn't expect it", "I had just puffed one cigarette", etc... nothing credible), and points I'm upset at her not kissing me. Doesn't hold, given the tons of explanation text she just sent. "Sounds like you're the one upset ;-)".
On 13th, she chases me again. She mentions something we discussed and says I'm a loner.
Me: You said that, not me. I just love my privacy. I meet others when I chose so.
Her: Maybe you met so many that you wanted to, and kissed them all, lol
Me: MaybeAnd maybe more than just kissing. Or maybe not! Hahaha
Her: So you mean, you are having them but no strings attached
Me: I take things as they come. With, or without strings. Easy. Open to all outcomes.
Her: You are more mysterious.
Me: No. You and me, just had a misunderstanding over our differences. For me, just please understand, it's alright if they kiss the first time ever. But I respect your point of view too.
Her: That's why I'm afraid of loving other nationalities. Because of differences.
Me: There's nothing to be afraid of. It's OK, Laurie. I spent a nice evening with you. Thank you for coming with me. No issue.
Her: Yeah, I enjoyed being with you too.
The rest of the chat, I put a little sexual humor ("I'm holding something hard in my left hand, namely... My phone!") and she pretends not to understand.
I conclude the chat with some dating advice: "In this county, people come and go, you can't even blame them. Find people you can spend quality time with. But do not build high expectations. Do like myself, just take things easy."
This is, in summary, the essence of what we discussed over text after our first date. I framed it this way: no frustration, no judgement, mysterious, open sexually, non chasey. My dating advice sounded like a concluding comment, and I never tried to even suggest a second meeting. Sounded like I'm off her. In the week there was little further exchange, and she initiated all of it.
March 18th. Down To Fuck
In the early afternoon she texts me and tells me she's alone at home. I suggest a video call, she pretexts a bad connection, but I video call her anyway. I tell her that we could go to this beach cafe after all. She switches subject, and asks me if I cook. Lol. We agree on a cooking date at my place.
At 5:30pm she's here and helps me a bit with the cooking. At 6:30pm we're done, food served with some Spanish red wine, it's good, eating finished. Things are much warmer this time. She comes in my arms and put her head on my shoulder, and surprise, she initiates the kiss. She's a good kisser, we make out a lot, and I start kissing her neck. She loves it. I can sense her excitement growing, by her breathing rythm. She's now grabbing my dick through my trousers. Soon I extract her boobs and start sucking her nipples thoroughly, and she loves it. She asks if I have condoms, and yes, I have tons of condoms. I bring one. Clothes off. I start sucking her pussy good and drive her crazy ("I like it!"). After I'm done she's at my dick and give me a very nice blow job. Condom on. I give her a good experience, she comes three times, we fuck for about one hour in total, then I come.
My reading of this experience
She came to the first date with expectations of strong BF behavior. The way I behaved conflicted with her expectations, so blocking. I managed to successfully reframe the context, and I did it with some "bye bye" undertones. Her ASD bullshit dropped overnight and she came home for sex.
