"let's go step by step" at the date's end : too late to move out of BF zone?

[lux7]

Went out with this cute American girl just yesterday, who had a tough childhood -parents divorced early in different countries and she got stuck with the alcoholic mom-

In texting she was possibly the heaviest chase I've ever seen, to the point of being red flag for me -like: "sorry I coudn't make, I really want to see you asap, just can't today, have I been kicked out now?", "I will do my best to prove to you I'm not insane as I seem at the moment".
And in person was also making a visible effort of "looking good".

When I invited her to "watch a movie" she knew what was on and said "let's take it step by step".

Well, I should have mentioned I'm leaving town soon earlier I suppose , yet I was wondering: once you reach the end of the date , is it too late / high risk to go try to move out of the BF territory?

 

[ray_zorse]

Ehhh I dunno about this, depends how it came up in conversation but basically if she comes up with a lot of shit about what a hard life she has had and puts on this huge "poor me" act then I feel like it's a ploy to gain sympathy. Her problems are not your problems! And, shortly before I discovered GC I dated a girl who was actually quite a nice girl but did have some serious issues, was on Lithium etc... and that's NOT her fault, sure she shouldn't be punished for it, but YOUR OWN needs are paramount. This girl will find somebody who is nice and codependent, just for her, and they will make a great codependent relationship together. But I suspect you should move on here. Ehhmm whilst I'm all for having a one-night-stand if she isn't girlfriend material, and I remember saying to you in a post some months back that you were being FAR too moral about things, I think you were discussing whether it was ethical to have casual sex with a virgin... in THIS KIND of case it may well be unethical to just fuck and dump.
Ray
PS In answer to your question I don't think there's really much you can do except try to escalate, you don't really know whether she's got you in BF category or not, but if she has, there's not much you can do after the fact. But, she may well accept your escalation. At the end of the day, you don't know the million and one factors she's weighed (consciously and subconsciously) to arrive at her decisions. The stuff about "zones" and "missed window" and so on here, is more like a rough guide, kind of like saying that if you drop an apple it will accelerate towards the earth at 9.8 m s^-2, when in reality there is air resistance, quantum effects etc... it just tends to behave that way on average.