Life Lesson for Newbies: Move On and Don't Feel Bad

[Lover]

I just went through a break up very similar to yours, except the relationship (a FWB, but emotional investment from her part) has been going on for almost 1½ year...

What I just realized is this: because I had had her for this long, I had developed some serious pride (so to say). I never feared she would be the one to dumb me... yet, she dumbed me for another guy just like that. Most of my pride is gone and replaced with vulnerability for now...

Our break up went horrible because it was my pride doing all the talking and not my humility.

She offered to stay in touch like once in a while, and I rejected her suggestion. But now, I regret it. Like, really regret it. If they were to break up anytime, I could possibly be the first guy she would contact. And our relationship was going great, except I still wasn't offering a monogamous relationship to her. This guy swept her off her feet like it was nothing, simply by asking her for them to be exclusive. It must have been like a dream coming true to her to be desired by a guy like this.. to be the only girl desired by him..

She's not my dream girl, but now I realize she's someone I still want in my life.. our connection was so great, yet I took it for granted at the very end. it sucks, but like you said: there are no guarantees.

At least, now I have some clue how to handle such breakups in the future..

Stay humble, accept reality

 

[Lover]

I get what you're saying. However, I've known this girl for 7 years and had an on/off type of relationship for 6 years. 1,5 year ago I knew of GC and proposed a relationship based on sex 95 % of the time. All in all I want to say it went pretty well. We had our ups and downs, and she came to realize that she truly loved me. But I knew that could change any day. So when it finally happened, I thought I could handle it... except I couldn't. And this was so unusual of me because it's very rare for me to speak from pride.

If I had known her for only 1,5 years, well yes, I wouldn't have mind to just let her go. Knowing someone for 6-7 years is something very different. Every situation requires different measures

To be honest, after my previous comment I did text her to tell her I felt bad about how we broke up, and that I was not bitter at all, and that I just wanted to end things on good terms (I know that me texting set a bad frame, but at this point I didn't care). she did respond, but let's just suffice it to the core message: "she hates me, yet again, for treating her like dirt". I know she will recover lol. But I don't hate her. I understand her feelings, and I genuinely wish her the best even though we're not involved in each other's lives. But now I know that in the future, I won't have to text a girl afterwards no matter how we end a relationship. She will find a way to recover, and I will do the same. Yet, I want to end things on good terms if we have had a great relationship.

Actually this experience made me realize one thing for sure: for 99,9 % of women you must expect that they won't make the first move. This is just how it is. If you truly want women in your life go get them cuz they won't offer you shit. You have responsibility for what you let in your life and what you let go of.

But you're absolutely right. Breakups and even bad relationships are great springboards for more improvement and meeting more girls. And of course you can find someone new, probably sexier, better, smarter etc. As you said yourself, it's a matter of trying. But trying demands hating your current self, a serious/burning desire for improvement and killing as much of your ego and pride as possible. This is the harsh reality of getting into self improvement in any area, be it seduction or career. I lacked all three when I got into our relationship, and approached only a handful of girls when I was in the relationship. Now? I've never wanted a new girl in my life so badly, and I wished I had approached a lot more girls. To any beginner reading this, if you're ever in a sexual relationship with a girl, make sure you have other girls in your life as well. It might be going great between you and your current partner, but she might want more stability or exclusivity at one point. Seriously, don't do what I did (and didn't).

I've been stuck in my head these days, but after texting her I actually feel relieved. It's like no matter what outcome happened, I made myself realize that of course we (or at least, I) should have ended it on good terms. I have said what I want to say, and now I don't have any regrets in regards to this particular girl. THAT relief is actually nice (or is it just some kind of mental masturbation? I wonder)

Happy approaching!

PS. Am I the only one who thinks other girls are sexy as fuck after a breakup?

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

Yep, they really do, I thought it was Crocodile Tears when it happened to me (my ex was crying when she dumped me and legitimately sad I think), but then I got needy and tried to get back together with her and she started dating her best guy friend -_-.

Friend zoned, chode, white knight, beta fuckboy.

2 weeks after we broke up and I couldn't even do an approach till a month later (when I found GC), but hey we live and learn right? I've slept with 6 new women since then (back in October), not bad since I still have no idea what I"m doing haha.