Lingua's Journal

[lingua]

I think it's about time that I start a personal journal to log in my daily experiences and reflect on them to expedite and share my learning process. I'm currently an undergrad in an engineering university in Western Europe, I've found GirlsChase around October 2013, and it has changed the course of my life. My main goal in the social arts is to truly achieve absolute abundance mentality and develop my skills to such a degree that I can be completely sure of myself that when and if I want, I can go out and bring home the type of girl that I want at that time and become a man that she desires so much that I can naturally develop it into a relationship, at will. This is a huge goal for me, and I'm ready to devote a significant part of my personal time into achieving it. There will be lots of moments where my motivation will be depleted. However I will not give up, as I haven't for the last 8 months, even though I still haven't been able to get lays even somewhat regularly. But the improvement is there and time will show how further I can get. Here we go.

 

[lingua]

Today I went out to do a nighttime streetgame with a wingman. I knew that going out at 11:55 pm would be too early, since this is supposed to be done at the end of the night, but I went along with it anyway. We spent 2 hours walking around the bar street and trying to warm up. I didn't want to go out tonight because yesterday, the girl who had previously flaked on me twice and which I had cut off all contact with, approached me out of the blue, and wanted to meet up with me again, to which I foolishly agreed. Needless to say, she didn't come to where we were supposed to meet, and I fell into the same trap when I was presented with the possibility of a pussy, I'm not supposed to be chasing them, rather replacing them, but since I've been on a dry spell for longer than a year I'm akin to a hungry dog that obediently follows the scent of flesh, not a good state of mind. When the bars finally started emptying up, I spotted a cute redhead walking down by herself, since my wingman and I had been mostly standing around and doing nothing for a long time, it was relatively easy to beat my approach anxiety because I wanted to talk to at least one girl, so I ran up to her.

Me: Hey! [tapped her shoulder] Would you like to hear about Jesus Christ?
Her: No, sorry I have to go now I'm suppo- ..
Me: No, no, I'm kidding. I thought you were cute, so I had to talk to you, what's your name?
Her: Hey I'm RedHead.
Me: Nice to meet you RedHead, I'm lingua, so how has your night been, had a bit of fun?

She proceeds to tell me that her friends are still clubbing and that since she lives in another city, she has to catch the train because she wants to sleep in her own bed. I tried to stop her from walking, but I didn't make a real effort. In hindsight, it would have been a good idea to have conversed with her for 10 minutes, just until it would have been unreasonable to walk up to the train station to catch the train anymore. Then I could have asked offered her to drink something and invite her back to my place. The plan sounds too good to be true. Well, after a couple of minutes, I ejected from the conversation as she was starting to make a run for the train.

Then my wingman wanted to go home, so I said fine, and then I saw a blonde walking just as we were heading back. I went up to her with a direct opener, her face was full of contempt and she responded with a quick "What is your problem! Go away", so I kept smiling and told her to have a good night.

The more I think about pick up and the more I try to get experienced with it, the more I get discouraged with these girls around here. I know it's an unhealthy attitude, and I could make this excuse any part of the world with any type of girl from different countries. When I think about it, all I'm doing is chasing girls, one way or another, texting them for a date and waiting for a response, arranging the time and date, spending my weekend nights starting conversations with them, talking to them in the street etc. I'm getting easily discouraged these days, and starting to question the fundamental concepts like "Do You Really Need to Learn Game to Get Girls?", "Is the Mating Game Fair for Men?".

Talking the talk is easy, so is reading tens of articles in GC, but going out and putting yourself out there in the face of rejection and trial is another thing. If I get this easily discouraged, it means I'm still outcome dependent. And to become outcome independent I need more data points and experience, so it's like a paradox, and I ask myself how I'm even supposed to stick with my goals towards mastery if I'm acting like this in the beginning.

 

[lingua]

I haven't been writing too much here, mostly because I've been lazy and didn't think that keeping a journal would help me. I guess very few if any people actually read this, but I suppose(and hope) my writing will become more and more interesting and full of content and stories as time goes on.

In summary, I've been going out mostly in daytime, and pushing my comfort zone by asking strangers favors and engaging them in the street. I've also done a few (read: not enough) direct openers, it was either a warm response (and not result) followed by a boyfriend excuse, or it was apathy. When I want to do a direct opener to a girl in the street, it usually takes me some time before I can talk myself into approaching, and by that time the girl is considerably further away from me, so I run up to her. Afterwards, I'm usually full of adrenaline, both because of the sprint and of the excitement of doing daygame. I have to make sure I don't keep making the same mistake of rushing my opener and not forgetting to pre-open them. My former wingman kept pushing me to do things his style, which was a huge nuisance as I was dealing with my own issues of approach anxiety and building the foundations of my own style, and what I feel comfortable or what I'm most successful with. Anyways, my main goal ought to be, not be a little bitch, and create a schedule in which I go out for a night/day game by myself.

The biggest excuse that my 'beginner' mind comes up with is, at night, almost every girl is accompanied by either one other girl or multiple people of both genders, thus rather than opening two sets with a wingman I either need to be on the lookout for a girl walking alone (relatively rare) or open multiple girls (often the not-so-attractive friend gets jealous and messes this up, or I chicken out of opening a set of three beautiful girls). So I will be working on this, and in addition to being outcome independent I actually have to be 'independent', so that I can go out whenever and reach my goals and practice for myself, without listening to other people's complaints or try to work out a schedule for them to come and join me. I saw that Chase had mostly went out by himself at night, so that he could nail down his process and regularly bed women, get the hang of it etc. I've got to be honest, talking to a friend after getting rejected, or making jokes when things have died out a bit is pretty comforting in the midst of all the music and chaos that the bar street brings. Well, I haven't given up until now, and I sure as hell won't be giving up because I don't currently have a circle of friends who are into seduction (or a great circle of friends, by itself). Either I scratch, bite, chip away and break down this(or any future) wall that impedes my skill from becoming an intermediate(and onward), or I'll be left with the bloody remains of my hands and looking like an old lunatic that's obsessed with pick up and sex, this wouldn't be a happy death for me, but it would be helluva lot better than the alternative that would eat me from the inside with feelings of regret and the thoughts of "what if?"

--------------------

Enough with my ramblings, the result of tonight's outing was: I ran up to a girl and just as I was about to open direct to her I saw her face and realized she was about 15 years older than I'd thought. She was still an attractive women, just not the girl I was expecting, and my mind started coming up with excuses and perhaps projected my own insecurities, so I quickly bailed out by wishing her a good evening. Now that I think back, she was responsive afterwards, and had a sweet tone to her voice (even though I didn't wait around for her response and kept walking), yes I know this is a response and not a result but this would be a slight case for the latter as well. So what if she was a bit older? Even if she was older or ugly, fat whatever, I should have went with it. This reminds me of the though processes that people with scarcity mentalities have (like me, at the moment). When considering whether a girl is attractive, we judge them as if they were to become our girlfriends. This translates into flirting with girls as well, as if opening a fat, ugly or old women is something inherently bad, as if being seen interacting with them is bad, as if they would immediately jump onto our laps and forcefully try to become our girlfriends. In order to be charismatic man, I believe this faulty mentality has to go, I've got to be able to effortlessly interact with all types of people, as I think that this would have the advantage of helping me opening highly attractive women, as I could act more calmly around them and see through their appearance and focus on their motives, weaknesses, fears and true personalities.

Yes, this was the only opening I did, the rest of it was either conversing with my friend, or trying to convince him to stay along and open two sets of girls, so this further shows my need for developing the gut to go out by myself.

Take care till next time.

 

[lingua]

Finally got around my anxiety and fear about going out alone at night. Took baby steps by dressing up and hitting up the bar street. I knew there would be very few people as it's a weekday, so that was a bit assuring to me. I found out, like many things, that the idea of "going alone" was actually more scary than the act itself. I walked through the bar street twice, and since I was the best dressed guy (the male to female ratio was 9-1 in the only two small bars that were open, and the guys were drunk college students with t-shirts and puke stained hoodies) I felt people observing me as I walked by: this further expanded my comfort zone. Funnily enough, I bet I'd be less conspicuous on a Friday night since the streets will be filled with people and the ensuing chaos would render any single person largely irrelevant, in any case, who gives a shit. I saw two cute girls that were entering the bar street at the same time as me, they seemed to stop at the other end of the street after presumably having seen the lack of action tonight, discussing what to do next.

I went up to a snack bar and got some fries, sat down on the closest table to the street and started observing the environment around me. I ate my fries while letting the situation sink in (having a calm and relaxed body posture while ignoring defeatist thoughts about being a guy eating alone in an almost empty street), looking at the odd couple passing in front of me. After about 25 minutes, I got up and headed back to my house. At the way back, I saw a pair of girls walking towards the bar street, perhaps they were the same girls I saw before. I had a brief but intense eye contact with the blonde on the right, before I whizzed past them as I cycled the way to my house. I thought it was rather bold for these attractive chicks to go out at night and placidly walk around as the usual police officers weren't patrolling the area and almost everywhere was closed. Since this eye flirting was the only interaction I'd done tonight with the other sex, I couldn't stop myself from thinking whether I could have opened them somehow. Hittin' the brakes in front of them and saying "This place is dead. Do you girls fancy a nice party?" sounded pretty nice in my head, just for shits and giggles. See kids, this is scarcity mentality in action. As I've been on a dry spell for around two years, and having come really close (ah...the pun) twice in that time, its effects have taken its toll in my mind. I'll go out on the following Friday and Saturday nights, and follow the basic process to get a feel for it. I'll need a foundation, as I'm in the dark for where I stand in solo nighttime bar/club game, so I'll try and see what the situation is before I can even think about honing it and making it more efficient and effective.

 

[lingua]

Tonight I went out with a friend and a new guy who was visiting him. We had a couple of drinks and saw a few opportunities where girls were 'screaming' approach invitations but I had to get over my approach anxiety and warm up before I could approach. I saw a cute blonde and a redhead who were approached by two guys, it was obvious that they had very little game and a lot of liquid courage so the girls were put off and the blonde gave me a funny look (which I didn't notice at the time), referring to the awkward guys, like an "us vs them" type of deal that Chase talks about. My friend has a girlfriend so I quickly got the new guy up to speed to be a wingman, we approached a couple of girls but nothing came out of it. We figured a Saturday day game and night game would hopefully be more fruitful, especially if we warm up quickly and be social throughout the day.

Back to the blonde and the redhead, while those two guys were trying to keep the conversation going on, an Indian guy who obviously had more game came to open the girls and the guys quickly flaked away when he sat down. I watched that guy and took note of how he executed that deal. Anyways, we saw that guy and the two girls at the end of the night while we were slowly walking away, and kept around to see what he was going to do next. I figured if he was really good, he would appreciate another guy helping out to prevent a potential cockblock. Of course, this is assuming that both of the girls are single, that he had opened them and was not a friend, that he wanted to take one home, and that the girls were competitive of each other. A fuck load of assumptions in my book. In any case, I wanted to see the outcome, so after some time he took off with the redhead and hugged the blonde goodbye. Just as he did that, the blonde started unlocking her bike so I jumped at the opportunity, thinking that she would be sad that her friend was going home with a guy and her night was coming to and end, forlornly. I went up to the blonde, asked her the time, and she started looking around (she was a bit tipsy), and tried to find a clock. I told her, "ah, forget it, I thought you were cute so I had to come up and say something", then her posture became more relaxed and she had a genuine smile on her face. She told me she had seen me earlier at that bar, and had tried to signal me about those guys trying to talk to them. I got to know her a bit, teased her about guessing where I'm from etc. -now that I've done it so many times I don't even think twice about putting social pressure on girls to initiate and maintain conversations and to ask them to guess things rather than giving them direct and boring answers-, and then asked her what her plans were, she said she was going home, so I told her we should grab a beer before the last round(follow the process, nighttime streetgame has no tolerance for slow guys, move her fast). She told me she had a boyfriend (she actually looked a bit sorry for saying that, adding to the fact that she was a bit tipsy and unable to hide her facial expressions I guess she really wanted to be single at that moment )so I said it was fine, and made a joke about how all the 'good girls' were taken. Since I need to develop a social circle here and liked her vibe, I told her we can become friends and shook hands, she was also pleasantly surprised at that. I told her she could introduce me to her single friends, made her put her info on my phone and said goodbye to her.

Now as I check her Facebook, it turns out this girls's boyfriend is the guy that organizes and/or has a hand at every big party in this city. He's got so much fame(I guess) that he has a party to his name, that is also supported by the university for the newcomers, which I attended last year. And this girl told me she would introduce to me her boyfriend.....JACKPOT! Even if she doesn't follow up with her promise after the hangover, I still feel awesome for asking out and flirting with this dude's girlfriend.

Let's see what happens tomorrow.

 

[lingua]

There are some things that are still aren't 100% clear to me. I've lowered my standards and now appreciate quite a wide range of women around my age, but how the hell am I supposed to challenge them and make sure that she doesn't think that I would go for any girl that would have the slightest of interest in me. The number of times a girl has approached me can be counted by one hand. I feel like I'm supposed to work on sprezzatura but I can't find a way to open girls in a big open party without expanding visible effort, they don't notice me, they don't smile or flirt. I've completely adapted my wardrobe to suit my age and have bought a handful but quality made clothing. In class or in daytime they seem to notice me and even strangely lots of them have started brushing against me while passing by, but they act like princesses in parties.

How am I supposed to be outcome independent when I still haven't taken a girl to bed after all this time. Today is the beginning of the academic year, and it feels like I'm experiencing the same things from last year, namely frustrations and struggle with getting laid. I can't think clearly when I know that at this time there are girls out there open to the idea of going home and getting fucked all night. I've opened my version of the pandora's box, if I sit at home, masturbate and relieve my ever increasing sexual urges for a short time I still know in the back of my head that my situation depends on my efforts, I know that with enough dedication I can change my situation and be good with women while others can honestly blame their physique/luck/etc. I can't just cop out. The world doesn't owe me shit, girls don't owe me sex. If you're supposed to be the joker before you become the king, how the hell are you supposed to improve yourself? I feel like i'm expanding too much apparent effort (try hard?) without getting any tangible results. And if I act casual then it feels like I'm never getting anywhere since girls aren't incredibly interested.

All of my friends seem content with their lives at this point, many of them are virgins, others have girlfriends and some are single. But none of them are interested in talking to women, I'm not even talking about doing quality wingman stuff.

For example, as I was returning home, I saw a girl headed towards my street and I imagined her coming to my house. That would make my fucking day, of course. I just can't bring myself to act like a prize and with not being dependent on the result of her actions, because she has the "power" to effect me so much, and I can't control how I feel about it.

This sounds pretty desperate, but I haven't been able to satisfy one of my most basic urges for a long time and I don't see how I can just "forget" about sexuality or girls. Convincing myself that 'to be a sexual man with a strong appetite is bad' seems impossible and detrimental. There is the argument that we men have our own upper hand in the way that we can choose from a wide range of women while they are mostly passive in their lives, but when you lower your standards and still don't get any action, this has an impact on your self-esteem. Many things make perfect sense to me on this site, however, coming home after a big party empty handed and sexually frustrated and not being supposed to feel bad because of outcome independence seems like magic to me. And like I said, I can't just give up on this whole deal, because it would eat me from the inside my whole life because I've read what people have accomplished in terms of seduction when they put their hours to it. It seems I'd rather be a bitter(becoming) man who is expanding massive effort with non-existent returns, than a man who stays at home blaming outside forces. I'm afraid of becoming 'that guy' who Chase uses as an example, spending thousands of hours and not succeeding because he is working hard but not smart. In my mind, having sex after more than this 2 years of dry spell has become so encompassing, urgent and glorious that any real sex that I will have eventually won't live up to it. It's like a poor mechanic dreaming of a Lamborghini his whole life and finally getting it decades later only to be disappointed as his thought model isn't compatible with the real world.

 

[Teparus]

I am by no means a master, but...


I think you're probably trying to hard at this point. One of the most important things I've refined my ability to do is notice when a girl dogs me. Why? I put zero effort into women who don't. Zero. That way, I don't have too many demoralizing defeats. This isn't ALWAYS true -- if I'm in a great mood and feeling fantastic, rejection will roll off of me and I know it, so I don't mind being g rejected then. And I hit on everyone.


What I focus on nowadays is two things - making myself attractive (keep the skin good, wear good clothes) and keeping myself in a happy, social mood. This maximizes the women who express interest and minimizes the amount I have to fight momentum in order to capitalize on that interest.

A big part of your current problem is probably that you aren't fully processing your feelings of frustration and that is shining through. Try just being grustrated , pjssed off, and sad for awhile. Let it happen. Find something that both makes you happy and gets you meeting people.

One thing that's been written about here a bit is how pickup has a steep learning curve but once you get good, it's a floodgate. I'd say diversify a bit. Try some social circle. Try some clubs. Try meet up. Try (urgh) online dating. Just to see if something else can give your ego a reprieve.

 

[lingua]

I appreciate the suggestions Haraklus. I'm doing some online game on the side, just to get some small momentum going.

Since I don't normally do too much dancing other grinding in loud techno clubs, I hit the Latin bar this midnight with a couple of friends. I got the courage to ask one of them to dance and then danced with her for 15 minutes. It felt really nice to just relax and dance, human contact releases oxytocin so that elevated my mood as well.

I wasn't particularly good at leading made a couple of basic mistakes in terms of power play, and did an okay job in deep diving her at first but then wasn't bold enough after we went to the tables to sip some beer. But that was fine, so I just tried to get accustomed to this very energy rich environment and watch how the good guys danced. I pushed myself to compliment one guy, who said "it's just practice, man" ain't it always, I thought. There are a couple of dancing classes nearby, so I'm seriously considering going to one, as this is a really nice way to start the night.

As I was heading home, I didn't feel the usual frustration with myself for not having taken a girl that night back to my place. It was kinda last minute that I went out today, and there were thousands of beautiful women circulating throughout the neighborhood and they would have been here if I hadn't gone out today, and they were here last week and they will always be here next week as well. This is a very obvious thing to consider, but my emotional brain was not quick to give up on its scarcity mentality. Now, when I see a cute girl passing by, I don't imagine a scenario of going up to her and then immediately scold myself for losing every opportunity. It's been pretty difficult for me but I think I'm finally getting over my scarcity mentality and relaxing more when I go out at night.

 

[lingua]

It's times like today that really make my blood boil, I've been walking around my room trying to calm down... I've stopped being harsh to myself and started being more positive, but it's so difficult to not become bitter and cynical.

A couple of days ago I promised myself to go out alone on Thu, Fri, Sat. On Thursday I got a beer at a cozy bar and didn't talk to anybody as it was pretty empty, but most importantly I managed to get over my fear of going stag.

On Friday, it was much better, as I set the goal of talking to at least three girls. I opened up a set of 5 girls in a bar, found out they were celebrating for one of their birthdays, so I danced with them and had a typical conversation. As expected, they asked where my friends were, so I told them they all ditched me. Afterwards I still felt like the bar street was pretty empty, and there wasn't much to do so I headed home. At the last second I convinced myself to go back and have one last beer, because I felt like I didn't do enough for that day. I went to a couple of bars and had a few drink, and didn't see any girl who wasn't either devoured by some dude's mouth or dry humping to the beat of the music. I got up and walked to my favorite street for nighttime street game, saw a cute girl who was about to head home with her bike, so I went up to her and opened her up by asking where a popular bar was and then told her that the real reason I talked to her was because I thought she was cute. I seem to get great reactions on that opener, where I ask a girl time/known monument/place and then compliment, yes it puts my cards to the table, and I'm a bit chasing in the beginning but at least they get out of their heads and prevents them from giving auto answers (when a beggar asks for change, it's almost instinctual to say no or ignore). It also gets them into the conversation as they rarely ignore answering in English to a question (lots of times, they refuse to speak English when you open with a compliment/engage them with hi/ask them if they're single). So I had a great conversation with her, where I believe I was okay at casually touching her and smiling at right times. After I built a good rapport, I proposed that we get something to drink, but she said she had to work the next day. So I got my phone out and asked her number, to which she said she had a boyfriend. I asked her what his name was, and without hesitation she gave me his name(and was quite pleased at my test for figuring out if she was telling the truth). I know I'm not approaching 10 or 20 girls on one night, and I ought to be. But it feels like so many girls have boyfriends, I guess it makes sense for them to have a monogamous relationship at university, but I'm pretty sure I'm not exaggerating when I say that more than 80% of girls I've ever approached had boyfriends. It may sound a bit insecure, but I usually get these girls' contact information (or socially engineer my way into their data) and check their Facebook to see if what they're saying is true and it always is. Heck, the first girl I ever approached had started dating 3 days before I talked to her (she was really apologetic and told me she had a boyfriend for 3 days), which was confirmed... I'm wondering if these girls are in healthy loving relationships where they want to be loyal, to which I feel cheesy saying "I'm not here to replace him", if it's at the point where a girl says she has a boyfriend I think that either my game didn't prevent her from saying that, or she actually is happy with her boyfriend. In the end, I hugged her good bye and left for home.

Today there was a festival where there was a 5k run and a big party afterwards. In short, the second couple of girls that I opened seem pretty interested and was investing in the conversation so I went along. After dancing and drinking for an hour, I was getting pretty close to the blonde, while the asian girl 'subtly' announced that she had a boyfriend. I was talking to to the blonde's friend as well and we had a pretty good conversation(so that she wouldn't cockblock me). I assumed wrong. After a couple of hours and a few round of drinks, the girls wanted to go to the main bar street. So we got our bikes and headed to a snack shop, got something to eat, and it still seemed like things were going good with the blonde and her friend. They were interested in participating in the conversation and the blonde had good body language(as far as I could see). Afterwards, I suggested we go to the Irish pub, so we sat down on a nice couch with a view of a live band and continued talking. In my mind, I was sure the Asian had enough social intelligence to leave us alone (as I assumed I had her approval to accompany her friend). So we sat there and continued talking (if any one of us were to even move a tad bit, we would have locked our lips,that's how clouse our heads were together, both because of the loud music and what I believed to be a connection). Later on, the asian acted very bored so I asked the blonde what was up, she said that they were tired and they wanted to go home. I asked her if she was going back to her house (by train). She said she was going to stay at her friend (who lived in this city), so I told her we should get coffee tomorrow. She said she had to ask her friend, took her a couple of minutes to talk back and forth with the asian friend. Then she said she had to leave early by train and go to church, so I asked her when was a good time, to which she said she didn't know her schedule and other filler bs material. I said "what about next Saturday?" and she said she had to visit her family. By the way, I didn't have my phone with me, but at this point it was clear that this girl was just beating around the bush and wasting my time. Shortly afterwards they said they were going to leave, so we separated with a simple hug.


This feeling of powerlessness is incredibly irritating to me. Right now she could add me on Facebook and propose a different date, but this option is up to her, and I've got no control over it. There were other girls in the festival that were even cuter and were open to dancing. But I really don't enjoy connecting with and investing in a 3 to 4 hour conversation with girls only to get blown away with a boyfriend or a refusal for date. I guess I need to learn how to screen.

It's like... I put effort to connect with what they say and actually be interested in the conversation and build up common ground but then the girls act like they're free to do whatever they want(go away to another place/leave the party altogether/find other friends etc), they don't care about the conversation or who's at the other end of it. Well, if I act like I'm not too interested and act reserved without putting effort, then the girls simply aren't interested in the conversation and have no incentive to strengthen it.

I'm pretty sure I haven't conveyed all of today's results clearly, but simply, I'm trying really hard not to become hard and bitter right now. Am I supposed to not care about rapport, and invest very little, and rotate through girls until I find one that I can escalate with/that wants to go home with me. I feel like a fool when at the end of the day, all I have is experience and no tangible result after interacting with a girl and trying to push for a date after hours of interaction.

In summary, I've gotten over my fear of going alone. I've gone out on multiple nights, and most importantly approached a girl in the middle of the street and immersed her completely in the conversation (yes for right now I'm aware these are reactions, her laughing and reciprocating my touch, and not results), but I'm proud of what I've accomplished. I will continue to immerse myself in situations like these until I figure out how to turn them into results. We shall see what happens next.

 

[lingua]

I've been feeling great these past two days. I've reconsidered my latest encounter with those two girls and found out that I had been over-reacting because I still have a bit of an entitlement mentality mixed in with neediness. It's going to take time to iron out these remnants but I'm making good progress.

So on Saturday, my friends asked what I was doing that night and I told them I was going out to the bar street (surprise surprise One of them said he'd probably come along. When push comes to shove, people bow out, so he said he was staying at home jerking off (sic). Whatever, I like going out better now that I'm used to it.

So I do my usual routine, watch a bit of Louis CK, put on my "gettin' laid shirt" and go out to the heart of the city. There's been quite a few festivals going around these days so the streets are livelier than usual. When I go out these days, I work on state independence and control, so I say to myself, "Talk to three girls/open a set of girls that looks scary to you/ etc" but don't beat yourself up if you don't take a girl home, and feel good/energetic so that you can project that with your demeanor. This type of inner game is surprisingly effective after you get the hang of it, I guess.

I go to one of my usual bars, get a beer and get in tune with the crowd. I see a quite a few girls going into a club on the opposite side of the street so I head there. As I walk towards the back of the dance floor, I see two cute girls dancing forlornly. I approach them, break the ice, get some social momentum going on. I take her hand and lead her with some dance moves, at this point this is pretty darn bold of me so I'm happy (I've started to use my sinking gut feeling as a detector, if I feel that my heart is about to go down to my stomach, I jump right into whatever I'm thinking at the moment) About 15 minutes later, the girls say bye to me and head off to another club. Perhaps I could have lead them myself/asked them what their plans were, but the night was just beginning so I let it go.

After walking around for some time, I see two blonde girls that are obviously not sure of whether to go home or continue the night. Since I have a mental image that opening a set of girls alone will result in immediate rejection, I plunge ahead and open these two girls. One of the girls asks me why I wasn't even more direct, adding that they would have appreciated that even more. So I chat with these girls for 10 minutes, learning that the fat one has a boyfriend (while being very friendly and investing the most in the conversation). I do a bit of a deep dive on the other girl, at that moment I wasn't sure if she was single, but I assumed attraction like I should.

Afterwards, we headed to the biggest club and got some drinks. A drunk dude approached the thin girl and spilled his drink over her arms while dancing. I felt a bit shitty for not physically engaging the thin girl as soon as we went into the club but learned from the fat girl that she had a boyfriend as well. So I told the fat girl that she should be my winglady, and since she was a pretty cool girl to talk to we spent an hour in that club while I sometimes danced with girl in the vicinity (as you all know, pre-selection, even in tiny amounts is nice).

Now that we were tired of the ear-raping music, we went out to get some fresh air. The girls said their boyfriends were there to pick them up so we parted ways.

I then approached two girls whom I'd seen and danced with in the club, we had a bit of language barrier but I managed to get them talking. After getting bored with these girls and not seeing any physical investment, I approached another cute slim girl who had earlier asked for a lighter (note to self, always carry a lighter). She was pretty tipsy, and we had a damn good vibe going on. Physical contact felt effortless, and I was pretty confident I could finally take this girl home... And then, just as I start to move her to another place, her phone rings and she has to go with her 'boyfriend-in-the-making". She gave me a half assed answer in the beginning, but when I asked her if she was single, she said she was banging this dude (who had walked up to us at that point). So I hugged her goodbye, and laughed away the irritation. As I was walking to the other side of the street, I heard my name being called. When I looked to the other side, I saw my old wingmen standing in a group pointing at me. I went up to them and we talked about our current progress levels and achievements. Then I decided to mass approach with the wingman as girls were leaving the clubs and it was almost closing time.

I must have approached around 15 girls in total that night, which was awesome for me, as I never let myself get dragged down with girls who were non-responsive.

There's one point which was a bit odd to me though. I tried my hardest to approach with energy and not talk with a weak voice (as I am known to do when tired), but the girls still had their walls up. I mean, it's the end of the night, there ain't no prince charming coming for you, all your friends are hooking up before your eyes, why do you still have your walls up. Perhaps I'm judging them too early, but I'm not too sure. It's not like I see a resting bitch face and decide that they're no good. I approached -with my wingman- girl after girl as they were leaving the clubs empty handed. I opened a cute blonde with a sweet french accent, and she was too drunk to hold her head straight. She kept saying she did very stupid things while drunk, and got on her bike before I could make her stay and engage. Before she left, when I had asked her number, she told me her name and her major, turns out we went to the same school. But she did a whimsical "find me, that's your challenge" deal before cycling away. Yeah, I'm aware it's chasing when I found her Facebook after I got back home and sent her a message, but it wasn't too much personal effort for me. Well, she has been online since then, but there is no response to my message so I've let that one go.

I wasn't really angry that night for coming really close to taking girls home on three instances, but actually I was taken aback at the girls' behaviors and actions not syncing up with my mental model. As much as I expected them to be more cock hungry as the night came to a close, they became more drunk, more reserved while leaving the clubs. And 2 or 3 of the girls I approached specifically said they were drunk and their mind was completely occupied with repeating themselves to go home and go home only. I don't want to sound like my old self and start with my excuses or comparisons but I really want to try gaming in California just to see what kind of results I get at this level. I see guys with worse approaches than me (who are usually in a coastal city in Cali) post videos on YouTube, and the girls act very differently and their threshold for compliance and investment is different, it's like they expect to be approached and are more relaxed with themselves. This could very well be confirmation bias talking though.

Since everything is dissected here in GC with empirical data, I'm sure culture has got to play a role in techniques and results. As an extreme example we all know gaming in Saudi Arabia and Canada is not the same. But even though the following cultures in hand aren't so extreme as the former example, there's got to be a difference between Western Europe and North America.

I'd like to hear some experiences from people who have gone out in different parts of the world and if they do something different depending on the region/country.

That's it for now, take care.

 

[lingua]

Yesterday I've had my first lay since I've started learning pickup.

So my friend and I went out for a daygame on Saturday, we had seen a couple of funny looking miniature musical instruments on sale and we wanted to have fun with them and chill in the park. After buying the small guitar and the maraca, we headed to my house to tune the shitty thing as good as it could hold. Just as we were entering my room, a petite Chinese girl came out of the laundry room in front of us and looked at us with a perplexed face, so we started playing a song and invited her to sing along. I could immediately sense she was interested, so I started building an emotional connection. We talked for about 15 minutes, I could sense she was attracted to me, she was dropping compliments, trying her best to keep up the conversation and being interested. These details were clear as day to me in the moment, so I started teasing her and increased physical touch. Then I got her number and my friend and I went back to my room. The rest of the day we didn't get particularly good results but it was really interesting and fun to see how much of a (curious and playful) attention you can get from cute girls with a silly toy (people don't expect to hear a maraca when out shopping, I guess , so learning to invite them over to our "fun buble" and escalating will be the next target, especially in relaxed places like parks. When we went out that night, we also had a fun time ourselves, and broke down the remnants of our self-conscious thoughts. Though we weren't as physically bold as we should have been with many of the girls we met in the bar street.

I also did a bit of research and found out that my current city has one of the lowest female to male sex ratio under 20 (authors attribute it to the technical nature of the college), and the city with the highest ratio is only 45 minutes away so I will be checking out new places to compare the competitiveness of the markets (the new articles from Chase were incredibly timely) and hopefully find a gold mine (however small) after having been struggling in this city's night scene for so long.

Fast forward to yesterday 9pm, I add this girl on Facebook since she had no WhatsApp, and I send her a message about her neighbor that came to ask me for help. She mentions how much of nuisance he is and that he tried to sleep in her room after locking himself out. After building a flirty mood (yes I'm aware that texting/messaging isn't the best medium for that and it shouldn't be used regularly for building connection/mood) messaging her for 20 minutes and learning about her plans for that night and the following day I propose that we watch a movie. Personally, I don't find Asians too attractive, but 1. I wanted to gain the experience (as Chase says "Collect experiences like kids collect trading cards.") 2. I was curious what would happen if I moved quickly with this girl, and whether my perception of her attraction was justified.

She said she had to wake up early the following day so she declined when I said 11 pm, so I told her to bring some snacks and come by at 9:50, to which she complied. She came over wearing a nightgown and with a bag of chips in her hand, I then welcomed her and lead her into my room. The tv was turned on so that there wasn't a dead silence when we weren't speaking (it adds to the comfy atmosphere when a girl first enters my room). Coincidentally the tv show was about a Chinese magician so I got her talking about that and began making her comfortable and more talkative. I poured the chips into a bowl, started the movie and jumped on the bed. She acted a bit shy so I told her to make herself at home and gave her a pillow to lean back on. At this point I wasn't holding her close to me, and we were just laying side by side. I think choosing Van Wilder was the best god damn thing I did that night, because the opening scene is about an Asian woman that looks like she's sucking off Ryan Reynolds for about a minute or two, which helped to create a fair bit of tension and sexual humor from the start. As the movie progresses, I get her talking more about herself, and I do small tests like feeding her chips and how she 'accidentally' sucks my finger while doing so. So now I'm slowly caressing her back and thighs with my left hand and (I normally talk with lots of hand gestures) so I casually touch her breasts and her belly as I explain things and tease her. I do the triangle gazing and go in for a kiss, she doesn't pull away but it's obvious she isn't reciprocating it. I just smile and continue to enjoy the movie, now she seems like she's expecting something, she asks me "Are you alright?" and I say "Yeah I'm fine". After a minute or two, the conversation turns into her telling me that she wants to lose weight so I take her into my arms off of the bed and carry her around the room, while saying "yeah, you're pretty much obese" with a smirk on my face(bust balls when trying to fish for compliments, got to get even better than this). Then I show her something on the computer so I stand behind her and hold her from behind.

After that I turn her around, I gently grab her head and then go in for another kiss, and suddenly she says "No one can know about this okay!" I calmly reply "Of course" then she says "It has to be a secret" so I start kissing her once more and now she's going at it like crazy. I carry her back to my bed and start undressing her while making out. I take off her nightgown and her bra, then start rubbing her pussy from the outside and she starts to moan. After a bit more kissing and sucking on her nipples, I proceed to to take her panties off and I start fingering her, she was incredibly tight so one finger was more than enough. And then, all of a sudden, she jumps up from the bed saying "I can't do this, this isn't right, what we're doing isn't right". And quickly puts her bra and panties on. So I first I listen to all of her objections, and get to the deep cause of the LMR. It turns out a year ago she was in a relationship with a guy and she was expecting to spend her life with him, but out of nowhere he started to ignore her and when she asked him is he loved her, she tell me that he physically pushed her away from the bed saying she wasn't a girl to be made a wife of. So I'm thinking 'Oh boy here we go'. I proceed to explain her about slut-shaming and why it exists, and that enjoying yourself isn't something to be ashamed of. I tell her that her last boyfriend must have had some deep commitment issues if he had pushed her away and suddenly ignored her. That he might have been hurt as a child or from a former partner as well (this gets her to zoom out of her problem). Now she tells me "You're a player aren't you? How many girls do you bring home. I'm not that type of girl who goes to bars and sleeps around with men after knowing them for a day (well you hadn't met me yet " So I explain to her that I don't classify people into groups whether they go to bars or not, or if they wear a mini skirt etc. I tell her that I get to know people by listening to them and not by making snap judgments. I also had to add in this line I saw some time ago in these forums, "You're free to leave if you like, but I'd prefer that you stay". Now she starts thinking and her mental incongruity is showing off from her face as she begins to process what's happening. I tell her to give me a proper hug, so I hug her closely and slowly caress her back without saying a word, this takes about 4 or 5 minutes until she feels comfortable again. At this moment, her concerns turn towards the fear of gossip (now that moral evilness is addressed) and how she's trying to find a life partner and if someone were to find out that she was doing this she would never get married. I could see the importance of social value and what it does to girls, right in front of my eyes. Even as a beginner, I can see how much of a power (and thus responsibility) we hold against the girls that we bed, and the importance of not being a bitter and malevolent man.

She asks me "So we're friends then?", I tell her "Yes, with benefits" (I did many things that night, that I thought was going to backfire and this was one of them, but I just followed the process in my head) so she asks me what that means, and I tell her "We also like to have fun together". Then she asks me "What if I get a boyfriend?" I tell her, "When that happens, I'll wish you good luck", and she says "Okay" with a wide smile on her face.

After she made sure that no one would know about our 'little secret' for about a good 10 times or so, and asking me to swear to not tell my friends or bragging about it, I start kissing her once more and this time she is even more horny and even more passionate. I undress her again and fuck her for half an hour. As we lay in bed, she asks me how many girls I do this with and tries to guess the number of girls I take home per week. She also tells me that she's had only 2 guys before me, both of them long term and never had a one night stand. She didn't seem too sexually experienced or otherwise did/say anything to make me doubt her claims (I'm still cautious with what they say , but it seemed like she trusted me enough to be frank about her past after I handled her fears a moment ago.

In the past there were two more girls that I moved fast with but went only as far as making out with them, and they also asked me how many girls I slept with or how often I did this. I'm open for suggestions to a smooth answer for this question.

Right now I'm planning a date with a cute ginger girl I met two weeks back, and if she doesn't flake on me I'm going to try to bring her home after we hang out.

That's it for now. Take care.

 

[ray_zorse]

Oh smooth man, smooth, props for handling all those issues so adroitly, I'm taking notes fabulous LR enjoyed the read. Would be great if I'd had GC while living in college dorm, sounds like that kinda scene? ;(
cheers, Ray

 

[lingua]

Oh smooth man, smooth, props for handling all those issues so adroitly, I'm taking notes fabulous LR enjoyed the read. Would be great if I'd had GC while living in college dorm, sounds like that kinda scene? ;(
cheers, Ray

Thanks man, it felt good to see the fruits of my labor. Yup, that's right. Logistics is a blast for another 2 years ;D

 

[lingua]

I haven't been going out a lot these past few weeks due to heavy class workloads but my wingman called and asked me what I was doing on Friday night, he didn't seem too enthusiastic so I figured I should be the action taker and source of energy so I told him "We're going to bring the party to the bar street, get your shit ready!" Looking back, that was a good decision

So we got ready at 11 and headed off to the city center where the nightlife is. It was pretty chilly outside so I wore two pairs of undershirt with my button-up, but even that many layers weren't enough to prevent you from shivering if you were wandering outside the hot and stuffy clubs. I try not to be amazed at the girls who wear skimpy dresses and skirts in this kind of weather. I'm guessing due to the fact that it was so cold, there weren't too many people out there in the bar street. Perhaps they were waiting to go out on Saturday, when it's the busiest time of the week. We approached a couple of girls in the street, just to warm up and have a bit of fun by being social. The girls that did linger only were interested in superficial conversations, and didn't respond to anything meaningful so any attempts at deep diving were lost on them. We then went to the salsa bar as it seemed the most cozy option. I've got the say, the few black guys in the city have found their niche. They were dancing with almost all the girls inside the bar. After checking the scene, we opened a couple of girls standing by the bar that had nice body language and were throwing a couple of approach invitations. The cute blonde that I was talking to seemed to be interested in what I had to say, and I was beginning to hook her in the conversation but my wingman didn't fare so well with this girl's friend. Approaching two girls together with your wingman is a pretty high risk deal. So I ejected from the conversation without an explanation, while I was on a high note, with the possibility that I would see my girl later on in the night.

After getting out of the salsa bar we visited another bar adjacent to it, and I instructed my friend to approach the two girls who were surrounded by guys who could ogling them in a creepy fashion. He told me he had too much approach anxiety so we went out to get some fresh air and make a plan for the night. He started to apologize for bringing me down, but I relate to how shitty it feels when you can't get yourself in the state so I changed the conversation and made a new goal of just giving high fives to girls walking by. While we were making jokes and trying to up our mood, I immediately noticed two girls that passed us who had a really open and friendly vibe to them. At that moment I didn't even think twice before opening them by running up to the girls who had their arms linked, deep down I knew i would lose them if I didn't act quickly. When I went up to the girls, I separated their arms and positioned myself between them while I said "You girls have found a way to keep warm!".

I immediately got a positive reaction from the girl on the left, who took my arm and snuggled close to me. From this moment on, I can't recall the details of what happened to anything on my right side (the other girl and my wingman) I only know the results at the night and my friend's story, as I was completely focused on my girl. I knew that this was a good sign and one of the goals in my head had been pushing myself to kiss a girl before bedding her, just to prove to myself that I can do it. I know how Chase doesn't recommend it as it releases tension, but I can just read it from some girl's faces that they want to be kissed, and this redhead was looking at me with puppy eyes. When I get more advanced I can up the tension by not kissing her, but I want to be certain that I would be able to kiss a girl if the need arose, rather than doubting myself in the back of my head and saying "in any case, kissing them comes later". So I stopped thinking, and I reached forward to grab a handful of her hair as our lips locked. The cold wind, whether or not the other girl was going to cockblock me and if my friend was as successful as I was at that moment, the inebriated packs of six guys who were shouting things at us, and whether I was going to be able to lead the connection with this girl or if it was a random drunk act that she was going to walk away from, were all things that occupied my mind for a second. But they simply vanished as I started to caress this girl's body and we continued to kiss passionately for what felt like half an hour, but in hindsight was more akin to 10 minutes. After things calmed down for a moment I glanced at my wingman who seemed to be holding the other girl up from her butt and making out with her. That was a relief. When I turned back to my girl, her face seemed a bit more satisfied than before but not fully as I could sense the desire within.

Her: So tell me, what's your actual name? (smiling)
Me: Actual name? I'll tell you the fake name I tell girls.
Her: (chuckling, pulling me closer by my belt) You know what I mean.
Me: I'm lingua, what's your name?
Her: I'm funnny_accent.
Me: Tell me, what do you do?
Her: I'm a manager at (store that is very close to my house)
Her: What about you?
...
(basic info, then introduction to deep dive)

We were kissing between our questions and I was thinking of ways to invite her over. I told her we should go to an afterparty, and as expected, she asked me where it was so I told her it was at the city center (my house happens to be there too She said she had to work early in the morning, but I had to wake up early as well, so I told her I'd make sure she wasn't late. But she was convinced that she was going to her house. I didn't keep exact track of it, but I persisted in my plans of drinking some nice hot tea for 2 or 3 times but she was not budging (this process felt mostly automatic and it didn't feel needy, more of like "I know what's good for us" mindset, which was possible by going out and talking to hundreds of girls, mostly going home alone). I put my number in her phone and called myself, since she was always telling me that we would meet up the next night. I asked when she was getting off work, and then for another 10 minutes or so passed by before we parted ways as either my friend or I, were kissing our girls at one point in time, and the other girl wanted to get in on the action, it was a pretty funny scene.

She had sent me a "Have a good night, I'll see you tomorrow" text after getting home and before I could send her an icebreaker with my name, so I was feeling pretty confident she wasn't going to flake. After all, we were going to meet in less than 24 hours, so emotions subsiding wasn't a huge deal (I hoped). I followed the usual process texting her to set up the date, but felt that texting was too much of a hassle and it gave her too much freedom: she could respond to something 25 minutes later or ignore one question, because more than one thread is usually going on at one time and I believe texting is pretty bad at conveying emotion or good type of stress. It prevented me from leading so I told her to call me when she was free. Result? I set up the date and made her feel good by callback humor in less than 4 minutes (I'm also thankful for my naturally deep voice).

Later that night we met on a sort of double date in the city center with my wing and her friend. We kissed them when they arrived, went to a nice cozy bar with live music, told them to get the first round of drinks, made out some more and actually got some deep conversation flowing. At that point, I could sense that my girl was ready to jump onto my cock. She was fixated on my lips as we spoke, so I did a bit of "being the first one to pull back when kissing" thing, and it was wonderful to see her go a bit crazy

Earlier she had told me that she was going to attend a get-together with her colleagues that night (scarcity is second nature to girls , while I was happy that we could meet them early on in the night because:

• Kissing them, deep diving them, flirting with them is easier when it's just us, and there's an overall positive mood as it's my friend and her friend are also making out and even sometimes stumbling towards us. Compared to doing all of this in front of their new colleagues (this get-together was meant for them to get acquainted with each other AFAIK, as these girls recently moved to this city).
• If we went to the get-together afterwards, it meant that we would be accompanying the girls, and they would be introducing us to their colleagues. This is a huge boost in social proof, in terms of law of least effort, this is awesome. The girls are doing the work of introducing us, the colleagues see that we are the partners of the girls and so they see us in a good light, girls see that their new colleagues like us in return(this should be a piece of cake for even a beginner in the social arts; we quickly became friends with, joked around and found common ground with the colleagues) so the girls feel more comfortable later on at night, when we leave for home. And all of this wouldn't be as effective if we had arrived to this get-together later by ourselves, even if we tried hard to introduce ourselves and make a good impression.

I can see how I'm progressing as I don't do all of this analysis literally in my head, it all feels intuitive and free flowing in my mind. It's pretty tedious to write it out in a report, but that's necessary for others to learn, as I did from the ones before me.

After we met with the colleagues we chatted with them for about 40 minutes, then we all went to a burlesque club where one of the colleagues used to work at. There we enjoyed a nice show while I was grinding with my girl and she was making sexy remarks about the acts on stage. I don't think new readers would be reading this journal but just to make sure: girls love sex. They love watching all kinds of sexy things, even if they don't admit it, so a guy getting spanked and then ordered to eat whipped cream off of a busty woman is quite arousing to most women as well. You can check out study where they hooked up sensors measuring blood flow to the genitals of the participants, women were aroused to naked men, women and even animals getting it on. It doesn't mean they want to have sex with animals, but if she's aroused, it will help you sleep with her.

After the show ended, some of the colleagues headed home, and our girls were breathing heavily in our ears while dancing, we told the girls that we are all going home, they happily agreed. The colleagues that were still around told the girls to "be safe" and asked my friend and I to be "good" to the girls, but there were no resistance or cockblocking attempts from them. After that moment it was just pure fun, and my friend took the other girl to his house 15 minutes after we were back at my place. I don't know, I'm not sure, I couldn't hear them leave because my girl was moaning too much

In an ideal scenario I'd like to be mostly spending time with this girl, I enjoy conversations with her. But added that I could go out and meet other girls only to have sex with them. Heck, even going out with this girl and pulling other girls with us to have a threesome sounds amazing. I believe Owen is doing this, and Chase has done this, being the stable variable between many women. I mean, I'm fine with being the stable variable with this girl, the other girls that I fuck can fuck other men. I don't know how I'd go about implementing this, and I would love to hear from others that have experience in this regard.

That's it for all, stay strong when you don't get results and take care.