- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 415
The approach
I met her some weeks ago just walking down the street quite fast, she looked fairly old but had a very nice feminine style and energy, and honestly I was just quite attracted to her regardless the age. I stopped her giving a compliment on her style, she received it positively but said she was in a rush. I told her I'd love to see her again, asked for a number, she gave me her LinkedIn, and as she was leaving she told me she has two kids, to which I responded ok, without much reaction.
I sent a normal icebreaker text on LinkedIn, and fairly fast asked her out for a date. She is a busy professional woman so it was difficult to find common time, and eventually after some attempts we met today for a drink close to my place. I want to also mention here the she was saying she'd like to meet earlier because she wants to be home not too late for the kids. So we met around 6pm, and I knew she didn't have much more than 2 hours.
The date
We meet at the train station, greet with a hug. She wear an orange long summer dress, red lipstick, and in general I cannot explain it, yes she was old, her face even looked old, but her energy, her voice, she had something so feminine and I got an erection right away. I tell her very sincerely that she looks absolutely lovely in her dress. Then we walk literally to the bar next to the station, same one I took the model from the other report. Way more people now though, so we had to wait in the line for a bit to get the drinks.
From the beginning she told me that she knows nothing about the area so I will have to lead, I told her I will lead all the way. She started mentioning how young I am, I joked a bit how I am a baby and said how I love experiencing life and people who have the energy to enjoy their lives. She also started getting into my job situation, how my interviews are going, saying how I will find something. I ask her if she does something she loves and she says yes, but was a long road. In general I didn't like the framing of this discussion as her being the experienced professional, so I tried to get away from it by asking if she knows what to drink.
She was not decisive at all and I teased her on that, saying I will take all the lead and handle her her drink. We order, she pays saying I am still a student and we go to find a place to sit, I find some couch and we sit together there.
I was feeling quite some tension that she was usually breaking by laughing after I was holding some eye contact. She asks me to tell her about myself, what I enjoy, I tell her I enjoy life, experiencing it, exploring, living the moment, I was showing her around the open area and the sun. She told me I am really kind, and I asked her how she is, and what she enjoys. She told me she is very busy with work and the family so not many hobbies but she likes the simple, that's why she is happy to come have a drink with me.
I asked whether she is spontaneous or plans everything, she said spontaneous, I asked what spontaneous things she does, she told me about trips, I said that she probably loves traveling and she told me that she does and enjoys adventure as well. She asked me back and I expressed how I love experiencing new cultures, seeing the world, appreciating all life can give by the moment, and Love when people can also enjoy themselves like that.
I asked her how she is in her relationships, she told me that she just got out of one that was really important for her and still healing, I said I understand and that's how it works and will need time, and we talked about it for a little bit, how it was to make the decision to stop something she was really into but wouldn't go any further. Also I asked if she is romantic, she said not really, just enjoying the small moments together, so then I asked if she is sexual, and she told me yes a lot, she finds good sex to be very important.
I told her that's good because some people are not like that and I really value it. She asked me back how I see it, and I said how I find it as the completion of the connection between the man and the woman, something very beautiful they are creating together. She told me yeah that's true, and you can also have intense sexual attraction with someone fast, but she wouldn't want to simply sleep with someone quickly like that without connection. I told her she is right and connection is absolutely important and you may feel intense arousal but you also need to feel comfortable, and if then there is an energy I don't personally put time limits and boundaries, I believe in going with the flow and what we feel.
At some point, she told me that I am a really nice and good person, and that I sound melancholic. I asked her to explain, she said it was a good thing. I said i don't know, maybe I see the beauty in the world, and sometimes when others don't I feel sad. I also told her I will tell her what I feel about her. And I said she feels very serene and calm and has something deeply feminine. She told me she appreciates that a lot because she wants to be like that and she believes in the roles of the man and the woman. So I also told her I appreciate even more how she is so strong and independent but she manages to be so feminine, and exude all this energy.
Somewhere around then I asked her how busy she is, she said she had to leave for home in about 45 minutes, so I told her I really feel like playing some guitar for her, my place is close and we can go. She was quite hesitant in the beginning, I stayed relaxed drinking from my glass and looking back at her as she was thinking, and I answered one by one the questions of where is it, can we go on foot, will you get me back to the train on time, only for half an hour right? In the end she finished her drink in one go and and we stood up to go to my place.
At my place and back
Nothing too much during the walk home, random conversation about the weather and the area, we arrived at the door, I casually opened, got her in, had her take shoes off, brought her a glass of water and sat there to play some guitar. She was saying she was enjoying a lot, and I stopped after two three songs and sat there at the couch with her. Similar distance with the model girl between us by the way. She said she likes music but only ever played some piano but she is not good, I playfully teased her telling her to get out, turning my back to her and in the process coming a little bit closer.
Pretty soon after that, while we were talking about random stuff, and as I was keeping looking at her and her lips I just went for a kiss. She rebuffed it, I tried to turn her cheek and reach her mouth but she wasn't letting me so I decided to cool it off.
I laid back on the couch, and she immediately told me she is sorry but she is at that place right now after her last relationship and she cannot get into that. I said I understand and it is better for her to heal now, I've been there myself, I simply felt something for her, there is an energy that I would like to explore but it's better not now if she is not at the right place. She also said that she doesn't want to be give me something that would not be 100% of her, I said that yeah i also want her to fully at that place if we are to experience something together.
Then she also said that she just came out for a drink today and that she isn't the kind to just go with a guy that fast. I said what kind? And if there is the attraction and the desire there between the two people and they feel comfortable with each other it is beautiful to explore it, and embrace the passion. Also told her that some of my strongest connections have been formed with such a passionate start. At that point she went back to saying that yeah, but she is not in the moment right now, after finishing the previous relationship.
At some point though all these I moved closer to her again, as I had been lying back on the couch for a while. I asked her what she feels would happen if we kissed, would it make her feel bad. She said she doesn't know, but she doesn't want it now. Then I said what about cheek kisses, we only do that. She agreed and we came closer and exchanged some cheek kisses, and I told her that see it wasn't bad. Then I chilled back again for a bit.
She also asked me how old I am, told her the truth 27, she said I am so young, and I responded I look at the energy of the people, and I do like how we connect and I feel something from her that really speaks to me.
She was also again saying by herself how at the point she is now she doesn't want to get into something else, I was telling her I understand, and that I am enjoying her energy but I also want her to heal first. Went back up and pointed my finger to my cheek and she gave me another kiss, while I also gave her one. I asked how she feels about them, she was saying that the kisses are fine and she is enjoying them, but she wouldn't want any mouth kisses. After a bit of time, she said she should leave, I told her to wait, and I'll play something last with the guitar for a second and she goes.
I did, we stood up and as she getting ready to go I pulled her in for more cheek kisses, surprisingly it felt like her mouth was just not moving away, so I went for the cheek kiss but told her she really was ready for a mouth kiss now, and then basically went for the mouth kiss which she rebuffed again. Weird move by the way, shouldn't have verbalised it like that, it was a knee jerk reaction of me seeing her mouth not getting out of the way and then thinking ok should I have gone for a normal kiss now?
Anyway, I walked her towards the station after that since I had promised it and during the walk she was talking again about how she feels after all that happened with her relationship, she even asked if I was ever in love, I said which love she means, at first sight, erotic, the one you have after a long time together, because I have had them all and I understand it is always difficult to get out of such a situation and move one. I told her I want her to fully heal to be able express all this bright energy she has even more in the world, and I even stopped at some point for some more cheek kisses, while I was also holding her hand from time to time and stroking her hair a bit. I even told her how I truly loved her kisses and they even excited me, as I truly love her feminine energy and it makes me feel like it completes me as a man when I am close to her.
We arrived at the station, said goodbye, and I told her I really want her to be fully healed, and left with a last stroke to her hair, with my hand tracing over her chest as we were parting ways.
Conclusion
One thing to mention first is that some of events may have been with a bit of different order, this happened earlier today but the structure is a bit fuzzy in my mind for some reason, I think I at least covered the main points.
If it feels similar to the last report in general is because I was literally trying to do that, stay with the general idea of what I was doing, while implementing a number of different things, like talking about sex, showing understanding for the break-up, chilling back at my place and not over-escalating.
I think I still came off as too romantic though. Maybe the guitar is not a good excuse to keep for pulling, since it's making the vibe more romantic than sexual. I was never using it before but we'll see, I was trying to find something better than just: "Hey let's go chill at my place" or "Hey let's go get another drink at my place", because sometimes I was feeling that there has to be some better reason to invite them home after a date or drinking outside, thinking that: Well we are already drinking outside, why would she agree to come home and drink more, she will just say, no let's just stay here and drink more. So any recommendation on more interesting invitations home are welcome.
But also my general vibe seems interesting to say the least. I have never been called melancholic before, especially in a date, but I do see what she meant, it wasn't really off. Not sure how bad or good that is, I guess I at least went into sexual topics this time, but maybe the vibe still didn't feel that sexual in the end.
Anyway, I was expecting way less from this date in fact, so it's good I saw that I could talk about these topics, connect and still bring her home. Some more tweaks will be needed for sure, but at least some things seem to be starting to work regularly.
I met her some weeks ago just walking down the street quite fast, she looked fairly old but had a very nice feminine style and energy, and honestly I was just quite attracted to her regardless the age. I stopped her giving a compliment on her style, she received it positively but said she was in a rush. I told her I'd love to see her again, asked for a number, she gave me her LinkedIn, and as she was leaving she told me she has two kids, to which I responded ok, without much reaction.
I sent a normal icebreaker text on LinkedIn, and fairly fast asked her out for a date. She is a busy professional woman so it was difficult to find common time, and eventually after some attempts we met today for a drink close to my place. I want to also mention here the she was saying she'd like to meet earlier because she wants to be home not too late for the kids. So we met around 6pm, and I knew she didn't have much more than 2 hours.
The date
We meet at the train station, greet with a hug. She wear an orange long summer dress, red lipstick, and in general I cannot explain it, yes she was old, her face even looked old, but her energy, her voice, she had something so feminine and I got an erection right away. I tell her very sincerely that she looks absolutely lovely in her dress. Then we walk literally to the bar next to the station, same one I took the model from the other report. Way more people now though, so we had to wait in the line for a bit to get the drinks.
From the beginning she told me that she knows nothing about the area so I will have to lead, I told her I will lead all the way. She started mentioning how young I am, I joked a bit how I am a baby and said how I love experiencing life and people who have the energy to enjoy their lives. She also started getting into my job situation, how my interviews are going, saying how I will find something. I ask her if she does something she loves and she says yes, but was a long road. In general I didn't like the framing of this discussion as her being the experienced professional, so I tried to get away from it by asking if she knows what to drink.
She was not decisive at all and I teased her on that, saying I will take all the lead and handle her her drink. We order, she pays saying I am still a student and we go to find a place to sit, I find some couch and we sit together there.
I was feeling quite some tension that she was usually breaking by laughing after I was holding some eye contact. She asks me to tell her about myself, what I enjoy, I tell her I enjoy life, experiencing it, exploring, living the moment, I was showing her around the open area and the sun. She told me I am really kind, and I asked her how she is, and what she enjoys. She told me she is very busy with work and the family so not many hobbies but she likes the simple, that's why she is happy to come have a drink with me.
I asked whether she is spontaneous or plans everything, she said spontaneous, I asked what spontaneous things she does, she told me about trips, I said that she probably loves traveling and she told me that she does and enjoys adventure as well. She asked me back and I expressed how I love experiencing new cultures, seeing the world, appreciating all life can give by the moment, and Love when people can also enjoy themselves like that.
I asked her how she is in her relationships, she told me that she just got out of one that was really important for her and still healing, I said I understand and that's how it works and will need time, and we talked about it for a little bit, how it was to make the decision to stop something she was really into but wouldn't go any further. Also I asked if she is romantic, she said not really, just enjoying the small moments together, so then I asked if she is sexual, and she told me yes a lot, she finds good sex to be very important.
I told her that's good because some people are not like that and I really value it. She asked me back how I see it, and I said how I find it as the completion of the connection between the man and the woman, something very beautiful they are creating together. She told me yeah that's true, and you can also have intense sexual attraction with someone fast, but she wouldn't want to simply sleep with someone quickly like that without connection. I told her she is right and connection is absolutely important and you may feel intense arousal but you also need to feel comfortable, and if then there is an energy I don't personally put time limits and boundaries, I believe in going with the flow and what we feel.
At some point, she told me that I am a really nice and good person, and that I sound melancholic. I asked her to explain, she said it was a good thing. I said i don't know, maybe I see the beauty in the world, and sometimes when others don't I feel sad. I also told her I will tell her what I feel about her. And I said she feels very serene and calm and has something deeply feminine. She told me she appreciates that a lot because she wants to be like that and she believes in the roles of the man and the woman. So I also told her I appreciate even more how she is so strong and independent but she manages to be so feminine, and exude all this energy.
Somewhere around then I asked her how busy she is, she said she had to leave for home in about 45 minutes, so I told her I really feel like playing some guitar for her, my place is close and we can go. She was quite hesitant in the beginning, I stayed relaxed drinking from my glass and looking back at her as she was thinking, and I answered one by one the questions of where is it, can we go on foot, will you get me back to the train on time, only for half an hour right? In the end she finished her drink in one go and and we stood up to go to my place.
At my place and back
Nothing too much during the walk home, random conversation about the weather and the area, we arrived at the door, I casually opened, got her in, had her take shoes off, brought her a glass of water and sat there to play some guitar. She was saying she was enjoying a lot, and I stopped after two three songs and sat there at the couch with her. Similar distance with the model girl between us by the way. She said she likes music but only ever played some piano but she is not good, I playfully teased her telling her to get out, turning my back to her and in the process coming a little bit closer.
Pretty soon after that, while we were talking about random stuff, and as I was keeping looking at her and her lips I just went for a kiss. She rebuffed it, I tried to turn her cheek and reach her mouth but she wasn't letting me so I decided to cool it off.
I laid back on the couch, and she immediately told me she is sorry but she is at that place right now after her last relationship and she cannot get into that. I said I understand and it is better for her to heal now, I've been there myself, I simply felt something for her, there is an energy that I would like to explore but it's better not now if she is not at the right place. She also said that she doesn't want to be give me something that would not be 100% of her, I said that yeah i also want her to fully at that place if we are to experience something together.
Then she also said that she just came out for a drink today and that she isn't the kind to just go with a guy that fast. I said what kind? And if there is the attraction and the desire there between the two people and they feel comfortable with each other it is beautiful to explore it, and embrace the passion. Also told her that some of my strongest connections have been formed with such a passionate start. At that point she went back to saying that yeah, but she is not in the moment right now, after finishing the previous relationship.
At some point though all these I moved closer to her again, as I had been lying back on the couch for a while. I asked her what she feels would happen if we kissed, would it make her feel bad. She said she doesn't know, but she doesn't want it now. Then I said what about cheek kisses, we only do that. She agreed and we came closer and exchanged some cheek kisses, and I told her that see it wasn't bad. Then I chilled back again for a bit.
She also asked me how old I am, told her the truth 27, she said I am so young, and I responded I look at the energy of the people, and I do like how we connect and I feel something from her that really speaks to me.
She was also again saying by herself how at the point she is now she doesn't want to get into something else, I was telling her I understand, and that I am enjoying her energy but I also want her to heal first. Went back up and pointed my finger to my cheek and she gave me another kiss, while I also gave her one. I asked how she feels about them, she was saying that the kisses are fine and she is enjoying them, but she wouldn't want any mouth kisses. After a bit of time, she said she should leave, I told her to wait, and I'll play something last with the guitar for a second and she goes.
I did, we stood up and as she getting ready to go I pulled her in for more cheek kisses, surprisingly it felt like her mouth was just not moving away, so I went for the cheek kiss but told her she really was ready for a mouth kiss now, and then basically went for the mouth kiss which she rebuffed again. Weird move by the way, shouldn't have verbalised it like that, it was a knee jerk reaction of me seeing her mouth not getting out of the way and then thinking ok should I have gone for a normal kiss now?
Anyway, I walked her towards the station after that since I had promised it and during the walk she was talking again about how she feels after all that happened with her relationship, she even asked if I was ever in love, I said which love she means, at first sight, erotic, the one you have after a long time together, because I have had them all and I understand it is always difficult to get out of such a situation and move one. I told her I want her to fully heal to be able express all this bright energy she has even more in the world, and I even stopped at some point for some more cheek kisses, while I was also holding her hand from time to time and stroking her hair a bit. I even told her how I truly loved her kisses and they even excited me, as I truly love her feminine energy and it makes me feel like it completes me as a man when I am close to her.
We arrived at the station, said goodbye, and I told her I really want her to be fully healed, and left with a last stroke to her hair, with my hand tracing over her chest as we were parting ways.
Conclusion
One thing to mention first is that some of events may have been with a bit of different order, this happened earlier today but the structure is a bit fuzzy in my mind for some reason, I think I at least covered the main points.
If it feels similar to the last report in general is because I was literally trying to do that, stay with the general idea of what I was doing, while implementing a number of different things, like talking about sex, showing understanding for the break-up, chilling back at my place and not over-escalating.
I think I still came off as too romantic though. Maybe the guitar is not a good excuse to keep for pulling, since it's making the vibe more romantic than sexual. I was never using it before but we'll see, I was trying to find something better than just: "Hey let's go chill at my place" or "Hey let's go get another drink at my place", because sometimes I was feeling that there has to be some better reason to invite them home after a date or drinking outside, thinking that: Well we are already drinking outside, why would she agree to come home and drink more, she will just say, no let's just stay here and drink more. So any recommendation on more interesting invitations home are welcome.
But also my general vibe seems interesting to say the least. I have never been called melancholic before, especially in a date, but I do see what she meant, it wasn't really off. Not sure how bad or good that is, I guess I at least went into sexual topics this time, but maybe the vibe still didn't feel that sexual in the end.
Anyway, I was expecting way less from this date in fact, so it's good I saw that I could talk about these topics, connect and still bring her home. Some more tweaks will be needed for sure, but at least some things seem to be starting to work regularly.
