LMR

[Bboy100]

Hey guys,

So in the past 5 days, I've had 4 first dates. Needless to say, I'm kinda burnt out. lol.
On 2 of said dates, I managed to isolate girls in my car and start trying to escalate. Keep in mind I had already made out with them prior to getting them in the car.

In one case, I got her top off right away, but she wouldn't let me even take her shorts off, let alone her underwear. Regardless, I stuck my hand down her panties (which she was ok with), but she didn't let me touch her pussy. I persisted in doing this for a literal hour. Eventually, it got way too hot in the car, so we decided to call it quits. I also invited her to my house sometime during that hour and she said "Nice try, but no". lol.

In the other case, I got her in my car by making out with her outside of it, opening the door, and lowering her into the backseat. I made out with her for a few more seconds and started escalating (we had been making out for like, an hour prior, so I think i've built enough comfort via kissing as possible. lol). Anyways, as soon as I started escalating, she got scared and asked that we go to the front.

In both cases:
1. We ended on good terms. Neither girl was freaked out or disliked me or anything.
2. They aren't replying to my texts.

So my question is:
1. How do I overcome LMR? I know it comes down to building more comfort. But I mean what are some specific nuts and bolts/strategies to use?
2. Why aren't they texting me back? Is this normal with failed escalations? Or is it because I otherwise ran the date incorrectly?

 

[Dude909]

You don't overcome LMR. You avoid it. How? By pacing your escalation. What you've been doing is "fast forward", what you need to do is "at the right moment". Learn how to turn them on without ringing ASD bells, how to read cues. The slightest sign of resistance means you've already fucke up.

 

[Bboy100]

Learn how to turn them on without ringing ASD bells, how to read cues.

What are ASD bells? Also, what would you say are specific examples of said cues? What if said cues never come up while I'm with her?

 

[Dude909]

ASD bells are the little voices in her head telling her "if you have sex now, you're a slut, and sluts are bad". All the talent of a seducer is to avoid those voices from ever happening.

Cues differ for every girl. It can be blushing, being nervous, talking a lot, awkward silences, or slightly more overt such as her saying "so..." or "what time do you get up in the morning". Only experience teaches you to spot them.

 

[Bboy100]

Ah, I see. Any advice on how to avoid this from happening?

 

[ray_zorse]

Bboy100 I made a long post about this here. Dude909 I'd be interested to know what you think of my suggestions. I also believe in combating LMR before it happens, but your advice seems to be to move much slower and more "comfortably" while skipping steps according to the signals she gives about how turned on or receptive she is. I'm not too good at reading signals yet, so you may well be on the money, OTOH I can't help thinking this is like the dude who never makes a move cos fearful of rejection and waiting for her signals?? Isn't it better to err on the side of moving faster and deal with whatever resistance comes up by recalibrating to it? And, do you see a difference between "token" and real resistance?
Ray

 

[Bboy100]

Good post Ray! I'm glad to know that I do most those things naturally I just have to refine a few more things and I'll probably be good.

One more question: Does it matter if whether or not she initially knows she's being pulled. Because in both those cases, I feel like neither girl knew I was about to try to escalate to sex.

In the case of the first girl, we originally went to my car because she felt nervous kissing public. It didn't have the vibe of "we're about to fuck" like we did with the girls I had no LMR with.

In the case of the second girl, I just spontaneously started making out with her again, I don't think she (logically) even wanted to go to the backseat of my car, let alone have sex.

This is important because as I understand it, LMR is when a girl starts out OK with having sex on a logical level, then panics and bails at the last minute. Whereas in my case, I don't think either girl ever decided they were gonna have sex with me at all.

What do you guys think? Does it matter how we treat LMR when she knows she's being pulled vs when she doesn't?

 

[ray_zorse]

It totally matters. Often it's a kind of ambiguous grey area so I'll use an extreme example to illustrate -- you invite a girl from your class over to study together, you haven't previously complimented her or touched her, or said anything sexual, all that's happened is you've connected on random topics while sitting together in class... she comes over, you try to kiss her, she reacts in shock "hey, I see you as a friend, I thought you wanted to study together?" ... and leaves shortly afterwards... problem is, she'll isolate with you if (a) she wants sex, or (b) she sees you as safe and asexual. If it was clear you were on a date (you had expressed a sexual interest), and she isolated with you, she knew sex was on the cards, she isn't stupid! However, a focus for you should be conveying this non-verbally with eye contact, sexy voice tone, touch (but not too much), not coincidentally the non-verbals are also deniable, my game became a ton more effective after radeng suggested I focus on this.
Ray