Bunch of girls today. Here’s the best one. I went wrong on the move I think, and I talked a little too much about myself. I’m really trying to master the “stop and notice” approach and it just feels a lot better than stalking right up to a girl.
M: You are very, very pretty.
H: Oh, thank you!
M: What are you up to?
H: Just reading my world literature book.
M: Really? (I use too much feedback in my conversations, it sounds fake.) It looks like you torrented that.
H: Yeah, for 15 dollars it’s cheaper than the book.
M: Yeah, right (fumbling words here). So what do you study?
Some stuff here about studying international business because she wants to travel.
M: Where would you like to travel to?
H: Spain. Or *somewhere else I don’t remember*
M: Why spain?
H: The culture, the food.
M: I’d love to go to Spain myself. I’ve been learning spanish for a while now to get there and not just be “por que?” (this came off really clunkily, and trying too hard to relate)
Some stuff I don’t remember.
M: Where have you traveled?
H: Just Mexico. And I’ve been around a few states but it’s nothing special.
M: America’s America anywhere, huh?
H: Yeah.
M: How come you’ve gone to Mexico?
H: I have family there and we would visit them. Back when it was safer.
M: No drug cartels?
H: No.
I proceed to tell her about how the only relatives that aren’t my immediate family are in DC and we hadn’t seen them in seventeen years until this summer. Talking way too much here.
M: When is your class?
H: Uh, at five. (I think she sensed that I was getting at something and that made her slightly uncomfortable)
M: Well, I have to head back to class but come take a walk with me.
H: Um, I haven’t studied at all.
M: Come on, it’s good exercise.
H: Okay. I have a lot of stuff to pack up.
M: Want me to help you?
H: No, thanks.
We get up.
H: So what year are you?
Some small talk. I can’t remember cause it sucked.
I think I ask her what she does in her free time.
Anyway, I ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime.
H: Sure.
M: Free next week?
H: Yeah, Tuesdays and Thursdays are best.
M: They’re best for me too. Let’s say Tuesday at…six?
H: …Okay. ( I get the feeling that she felt that I was cornering her into it. This ALWAYS happens. Any advice for that? And on agreeing on the date in general?)
Some stuff about frozen yogurt or coffee. Then I remember I didn’t get her number.
M: Hey! Hold on, let’s…uh, trade numbers.
H: ...Allright.
I get her number.
M: Spelled the regular way? Not M A H N I K A H?
H: No, just typical Monica.
M: Well, I don’t think there’s anything typical about you. (it sounded kind of like a line, work on being genuine)
We say goodbye. I send an icebreaker text later: “Hey Monica. This is TG save this number” I get this back: “Not Monica”
Damn it.
So it was going okay, she seemed to like me even when I was misstepping but the agreeing on the date felt uncomfortable and forced and I think that’s what turned her off. I never know how to make it good. Any tips?
M: You are very, very pretty.
H: Oh, thank you!
M: What are you up to?
H: Just reading my world literature book.
M: Really? (I use too much feedback in my conversations, it sounds fake.) It looks like you torrented that.
H: Yeah, for 15 dollars it’s cheaper than the book.
M: Yeah, right (fumbling words here). So what do you study?
Some stuff here about studying international business because she wants to travel.
M: Where would you like to travel to?
H: Spain. Or *somewhere else I don’t remember*
M: Why spain?
H: The culture, the food.
M: I’d love to go to Spain myself. I’ve been learning spanish for a while now to get there and not just be “por que?” (this came off really clunkily, and trying too hard to relate)
Some stuff I don’t remember.
M: Where have you traveled?
H: Just Mexico. And I’ve been around a few states but it’s nothing special.
M: America’s America anywhere, huh?
H: Yeah.
M: How come you’ve gone to Mexico?
H: I have family there and we would visit them. Back when it was safer.
M: No drug cartels?
H: No.
I proceed to tell her about how the only relatives that aren’t my immediate family are in DC and we hadn’t seen them in seventeen years until this summer. Talking way too much here.
M: When is your class?
H: Uh, at five. (I think she sensed that I was getting at something and that made her slightly uncomfortable)
M: Well, I have to head back to class but come take a walk with me.
H: Um, I haven’t studied at all.
M: Come on, it’s good exercise.
H: Okay. I have a lot of stuff to pack up.
M: Want me to help you?
H: No, thanks.
We get up.
H: So what year are you?
Some small talk. I can’t remember cause it sucked.
I think I ask her what she does in her free time.
Anyway, I ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime.
H: Sure.
M: Free next week?
H: Yeah, Tuesdays and Thursdays are best.
M: They’re best for me too. Let’s say Tuesday at…six?
H: …Okay. ( I get the feeling that she felt that I was cornering her into it. This ALWAYS happens. Any advice for that? And on agreeing on the date in general?)
Some stuff about frozen yogurt or coffee. Then I remember I didn’t get her number.
M: Hey! Hold on, let’s…uh, trade numbers.
H: ...Allright.
I get her number.
M: Spelled the regular way? Not M A H N I K A H?
H: No, just typical Monica.
M: Well, I don’t think there’s anything typical about you. (it sounded kind of like a line, work on being genuine)
We say goodbye. I send an icebreaker text later: “Hey Monica. This is TG save this number” I get this back: “Not Monica”
Damn it.
So it was going okay, she seemed to like me even when I was misstepping but the agreeing on the date felt uncomfortable and forced and I think that’s what turned her off. I never know how to make it good. Any tips?
