Lost

[hey_lover]

I honestly feel like I don't know anything anymore. Nothing seems to work. My self-esteem and confidence is at an all-time low. I got into the game 4 years ago. Within the first 6 approaches, I found myself a hot girl who became my LTR. The ease with which I nailed her, and the subsequent validation I got from other hot girls pumped my ego to an all-time high. The relationship ended 3.5 years later after I slept with a second girl who was a fat whale. The fact that I ended up fucking a fat whale instead of my GF was definitely the end for me, and I pushed for an exit.

I came out of the relationship with clear goals and plans. The first year was a struggle to my complete and utter surprise, and it took almost 8 months for my first lay. I dedicated a ton of time to day-game to work through my AA and ability to hook. I had 3 lifetime lays by this point. I went into year 2 with a goal of laying a girl every month. It was no doubt a lofty goal all things considered. Fast forward a year, I had 12 lays in 12 months (4 Online, 4 Night-game, 4 Day-game). I achieved my goal. I started University at the age of 27 in October, and I went into it thinking I was going to kill it. Little did I know that 5 months later, I still won't have a single lay from University. I managed 2 more lays during the interim, one of which was from Tinder, the other a girl I failed to close back in the summer but managed to reengage and close in January.

At this point in time, I've opened more than 1000 girls. The problem is that I don't seem to be improving anymore. My brain and subconscious is telling me that somehow opening another 1000 is not going to make a difference, and creating a goal of say 20 lays is not the way forward. That I'm better off spending my energy doing something else, rather than chasing pussy in order for the pussy to come to me, or some shit like that. The big problem with daygame (which I prefer the most) is that I have to go through so much volume of girls just to get to one who you can make it past the name exchange, in order to try new tactics and techniques. My target selection is wank, I only screen for hotness before approaching. I also haven't managed a single day 2 ever since I took on a more aggressive and faster seduction approach. All of the rejections have built up negative reference experiences, which makes me less likely to take action. Day game is a huge time sink. I am getting better results taking less action, doing the odd approach whilst en-route to Uni or something. As opposed to actively day-gaming. Night-game I do well when inebriated, but I do not want to drink, and I am struggling to enjoy nightclubs when sober.

I have had so many 'near misses', that the ROI just doesn't seem worth it. I feel better off paying for an escort twice a month, rather than spending more time influencing unreliable females. I am struggling badly at this point. The biggest problem is that I don't seem to believe anymore.

Apologies for a shitty first post.

 

[Guest0291]

Question: Why would you keep attempting to do something that you haven't gotten good results with? Definition of insanity.

But first, calm down and relax. If you're basing your self-worth on your ability to pull girls you're basing it on something that really does not matter. Plenty of geniuses throughout time were celibate, did not have kids, or were shitty with women.

Second, you're correct, stop "daygaming," cold approaching, and other BS like that. You're correct about your ROI. So many approaches, yet so little results. The concept of improving by approaching 1000s of girls is just beyond stupid to me. I'd say it's better to spend your time working through university, it'll have a better ROI hopefully. Also, why are you panicking about the fact that you don't "believe" anymore? If you're coming to realize what you were doing was a waste of time, that's a good thing, because you can change now.

Here's a solution though. Observe yourself, are you good looking (tall, fit, good looking face), and have basic social skills? Are you financially secure? The good looking and social skills parts are pre-reqs if you're not rich, but being financially secure doesn't hurt. If these all taken care of, move on to the next step. If not, I'd recommend working on being good looking and socially normal first. Unless you're too poor to try to be good looking, which would mean stop worrying about girls and focus on what's important.

Next, stop cold approaching randoms and start placing yourself in environments where it's normal to talk to people and hot women are some of those people. This could mean developing an interest in something that hot women are also interested in. An example would be crossfit or yoga. Hot women do it, and how hard is it to ask someone for advice on an activity you both do? How hard is it to get to know them? It's not. Then if you think she likes you, get her number and move things along. Or just as good, just be friends with her, she might invite you to hangout with her friends, and you might just find yourself a new social circle of people who know people who know people, and now the chances of you finding a girl who wants to fuck you just got exponentially easier. That's how it was for me, but try it yourself.

Honestly, surprised these aren't recommended more and surprised at how easy it is. It's a thousand times more comfortable than cold approaching, and gets me laid more. I can't even tell you the amount of women I missed because I was too focused on PUA bullshit that it made me into a socially awkward idiot that started repelling the girls that were interested in me.

Here's some other examples of interests/environments: hip hop dance class, photography/photography classes, specialized nighttime music venues (hipster, punk, rap, etc. Places that cater to a specific audience), niche bars, university clubs, intramural sports, bartending, etc. Hell, even EDM events are good, I remember two cute girls asking me to grab their tits to measure whose are better, good times.

(Obviously, better results will come from better environments big cities, socially normal universities, college towns. Which just further proves my point about environments.)

If you do things this way, you'll probably notice less and less girls flake, and are even easier to lay. As long as you're good looking though and not a complete weirdo.


Conclusion:
Just forget about "game," cold-approaching, "improving by approaching" and all of that other nonsense. Deprogram yourself of openers or any of that gamey bullshit. In the end, you really just have to be socially normal and good looking. That's it.

If you're having an extremely hard time getting one lay a month or a lay in 5 months, you're doing something wrong, as you've realized. My first few posts on this account from year(s) ago were when I was in the same mindset and getting shitty results (so many approaches, so many numbers, almost no dates). Decided to just workout instead and follow my own advice here, results increased and have gotten laid almost too much (my "Player Confessional" post being an example, was getting stressed out by accusations of me being a sex-hungry manipulator.)

I will say you're not exactly wrong about escorts being a better option as long you are financially able to partake. I don't understand how some guys in PUA will say that escorts are wrong yet then they spend weeks talking to random girls in the mall only to get a few flakey numbers. If that were my case, I'd rather pay for sex with a 10/10 so I can take care of a need easily and get back to working on more important things.