This is one the best lay/dates recently because of the great time together, because I really liked her and because of a nice connection between us.
MEET – KEY MOMENT 1
I saw her while waiting for a friend outside of the metro, looked her move and pass me by and then went after her down the stairs.
I start talking to her on the stairs, but the incoming traffic of people splits us up as I go left and she moves right.
Now we’re on the street: I moved left on the sidewalk and I stand still, she is still walking.
ANALYSIS OF THE APPROACH: DYNAMICS
Allowing us to split up was probably a mistake, yet it also had one major advantage: it made me look less pushy and much less startling.
But at the price that it’s a much more likely she might not stop afterwards and I could lose her.
Luckily that’s not what happened.
She kept walking straight till the point she’s now something like 4 meters away, but she turned around to look towards me and slowed down.
When I notice that I get even more galvanized by calling her and motioning with my hands to “come here”. I say it many times, with much conviction. Until she indeed comes.
Once she follows my lead it’s obviously a bunch of points for me: strong compliance right off the bat: harder getting a better start.
So with this outcome it’s actually much better I “lost her” on the stairs, even though I wouldn’t recommend it as a modus operandi.
Once she comes I don’t “attack her” straight away: that would be too much, and plus I need to reward her.
So I smile very welcomingly and, very simply, thank her for having come to me.
Then I resume.
ANALYSIS OF THE APPROACH: WORDS
As many times the case, I started with "do you speak English", which some times ago I opened a topic about as I didn't understand why Chase said that "opener" is terrible as it shifts the pressure of the interaction onto the girl.
I might have even said "excuse me", which is another "opener" many people shy away from as it seems begging for permission.
I don't think it does: "excuse me" is a perfunctory sentence and doesn't really man "sorry". "sorry to disturb you", now that would be terrible, but "excuse me" is more like an attention grabber, and it actually does grab attention very well and you don't risk of start talking while she's not given you full attention.
Especially useful in those occasions with lots of noise and traffic of people where you really need some more efforts to stop her and/or get her full attention.
If she's sitting or walking in an empty street alone then indeed you are probably better off talking right away (alone in empty street better from far away to start with BTW).
ANALYSIS OF THE APPROACH: MOOD
I was in a great happy mood: I had met and exchanged contact with several girls before and I was waiting for a cool friend and was just happy we were having a couple beers together.
I'm not always like this, but I noticed when I have this very upbeat and contagious positive smile and optimism it's hard for girls not to stop or give me a positive reaction -doesn't mean it's always a "yes let's meet again", but very often I get received positively-.
Notice this is much easier to pull off when the girl is actually our type -at least for me-.
MAKE FRIEND WITH THE FRIENDS - KEY MOMENT 2
Now you’d think most of it is done, YET being the girl quite shy and not placing men into such a high priority –you’ll see why later- I think it would have still been “just a contact” without the friends’ support.
Indeed, the friends.
She’s with two girlfriends, so I keep it brief and tell her we should meet and exchange contact so she can keep going.
She’s unsure, but a confident voice comes from behind me to my support: “give him your number”. It's her friend, vocal and happy that nudges her to go ahead.
That was unexpected, so I turn to the friend, smile, and say “thank you”, then turn back to my girl and tell her something like “see, even your friend says you should, go ahead”.
Now she complies, and as she’s writing down her contact details, so I slightly turn and do some quick small talk with the two friends. Again I’m welcoming and happy, and I’m smiling.
One of the friends tell me it’s a “ladies night out” so I make a joke that I’m sorry for disturbing their all ladies thingy.
She actually says it’s ok, which made me think she probably didn’t get I was actually making fun of it, but telling her it was a joke would be a mistake, so I plough on with something else (writing the contact doesn’t take long anyway).
Making her friends -and mostly the leader of the group- a friend of mine was a key moment not only and probably not much for her help in getting my girl’s contact, but mostly for later on when the 3 of them would be alone and talk about me.
The friend would say she knew I was a good man as “she saw it in my eyes”.
Also the day after my girl -whom we will call Eve because, well… because that’s her name
- will ask her friend if she should indeed meet me, and again her friend would urge her to come see me (talking about good friends
ANALYSIS: MOOD
Probably, it was important here that I was more on the happy/social side than (trying) to be on the sexy one: after a very quick and aggressive 1 minutes interaction when you bulldoze the girl to follow your lead it’s better to err on the “safe” side and show you're also a good man than trying to stay play the edgy man and risk scaring her off.
THE DATE
This was the perfect scenario to go with a girl who’s not very sexually open: meet early in the afternoon, walk around a street closed to the traffic to talk effortlessly, and have the chance of spending the whole day together.
Eve is a relatively successful diamond salesgirl.
She doesn’t seem “salesy” at all, and not much of a closer either to be honest. But she’s a beautiful petite girl, as she recognizes herself.. I suppose that helps.
Fairly standard talk here, bit of deep dive but not too deep as we walk around a market street and our attention is often taken by what's happening / being sold around.
BACK HOME
After walking around the street for maybe 40 minutes I invite her over to get her opinion on the diamonds poster I have on the walls.
Seems cheesy right?
Telling the diamond sales girl to come see your "diamond posters” ?
As if anyone has "diamond posters" in his room?
Well, guess what, it was actually true, there were diamond posters on my Airbnb flat.
The flat was indeed a former office of a diamond trader.
And can you believe in a city of millions Eve freaking knew, personally, the owner of my place? :S.
That was not good, but I underplayed it by saying I don’t know the guy and didn’t even talk to him and overplayed the fact that it must be destiny between us to encounter such coincidences.
Here I go for kissing her and encounter quite a bit of resistance. Eventually I grab her face and kiss her on the mouth, but it’s a hard slog towards escalating to anything concrete.
We also talk about relationships and get to know she’s only had one man before in a serious long relationship and hasn’t had sex in 3 years.
Here I do something I only do with girls I vibe with and it seems to be very effective: I get in front of her and grab her and shake her and happily tell her this is her chance and I am her chance to go back in the game, to have a great adventure again... And what a fantastic beautiful thing it is that it’s gonna happen with such a cool guy.
She asks me to show her the picture of my previous GF.
I might actually consider doing so in some other cases for preselection, but not here… Because, well, because my ex girlfriend looks eerily like Eve lol.
That’s an obvious no-no there or in spite of bonding and qualifying she might think I only approached her because she recalled me of my ex –which she would indeed ask me after I showed her the pic of my ex.. after sex-
Incidentally some days before a girl looking at the pics of my past girlfriends told me she could see what kind of girls I like, and she could do it across "races".
I found it intriguing and fascinating, she seemed like she knew what she was talking about.
I haven't developed that skill to see similarities through races but I'm starting to do so with Asian ones, which is: small body, thin, beautifully meaty and defined lips, small nose, well defined and natural eyebrows, small ass but "protruding" and, basically, look a bit like dolls –so much so that at a house party some time ago a girl walked up to my ex girlfriend out of the blue telling her how “awww, you look like such a beautiful doll”.. - .
Anyway, back to the story…
KEY MOMENT 3 – AGREE ON SPENDING THE EVENING TOGETHER
The escalation right here right now seemed difficult, she said she’d have to soon go to get her car, so I proposed I’d walk her and then we’d get food back.
I had other girls texting, but here I make a mental commitment to go for this one.
I’m a girl butterfly, an issue I have to overcome, and if I had been with a girl I wasn't particularly into I would have probably let her go and texted someone else to meet restarting everything from scratch: but the fact I liked her physically and as a person helped me in this case to stick with her.
Complications were both she didn’t like staying in the flat of a guy she knew and that her boss called her to bring the car back.
WALKING OUT OF MY FLAT
I touch her a lot now on in a sexually playful way. Also slap her ass -and she says no to do it publicly-.
A few more interesting parts:
1. Walking towards her car she tells me I look different today then when we met. I ask when did I look better, and she said probably today.
Time to go for a bunch of points home: I tell her she find me more handsome today because she’s starting to like me.
No reply from her, hit in bulls’ eye: nice.
2. She's edgy
We get back to the mall and she's less talkative now, I don't even understand what's in her mind and why she needs to bring the car back to the point I have to stop her and tell her "stop, explain, let's decide".
Sometimes she just walks ahead faster.
I interpret it she's nervous and thinking about the sex that might happen.
3. Cart "tests"
The drive in her car is also very interesting with lots of “testing” from her side: she might have told me, without exaggerating, 30 times that she was going back to her place and/or we should get the food either at a restaurant or at her place.
I might have replied only 6-7 times to that, sometimes with matter of factly “we’re doing this and that” some other times passionately on how it was going to be great (I find it's a game changer but never manage such a level of passion when I don’t vibe with the girl), some other times rationally listing the benefits of going back to my place together.
All the other times I never replied.
She was looking at me smiling while saying it as if to check my reaction.
My reaction? Well I just tightened the grip of my hand around her neck or touched her hand a bit more strongly or put my hand around her thighs and either stared ahead or looked at her with the corner of my eyes with a slight smile.
Notice I never got a verbal consent we’re actually going back to my place, not even once we get a taxi back.
It was not super easy at times acting as if it was a given, as sometimes I was really worried this might have not gone down.
At a certain point she started gripping my index and middles finger though, which gave me conviction it was going down....
I made a cold read she was now “horny, excited and happy, but she still had a light veil of fear and apprehension which she should really burst through and finally enjoy to the fullest this great time together”, something like that, which I thought was very good as it was very passionate and genuine.
So she parks her car, goes to her office –located in one of the most luxurious places in town BTW- , I wait outside, then she comes out.
She’ll later admit she made me wait longer than actually needed. Damn silly women stuff, lost 2 points right there but got 3 back for telling me the truth and make me laugh about it.
Then we get a taxi back to my place.
ANALYSIS OF LEAVING THE FLAT: WAITING IS BETTER
While this website righteously say you should strive for sex to happen quick and push for sex whenever you got the chance, there's one thing more powerful for having a great interaction which both of you will cherish: lengthening the time you two spend together once you know attraction is there and sex is going to happen.
I'm convinced if we had had sex right there right then so quick, it wouldn't have been as beautiful.
On the other hand, leaving the flat and spending more time together as we both built up sexual excitement at the thought of what was going to happen later on just made the whole thing more memorable.
Caveat: it has to be during the same interaction and the same day
Note: since most times you can't actually be sure sex is indeed going to happen later on, you might be better served in making it happen whenever you can.
BACK TO MY PLACE SECOND TIME
We have the food, but I push to get sex before the eating telling her to “trust me, it will be much better”.
I stand, and she stays plastered on the couch as I physically try to pull her.
Then I change tack, I step a bit back and just tender my hand towards her, now I want her to make a step on her own.
After another minute or so of talking where I can see she’s about to do it, she finally gives me her hand and stand up.
Kissing, touching and then moved to bed.
Then music, wine and food, and as I had promised her, much better than if we hadn’t had sex before it.
Then we go for a second round, and then she leaves.
And then I leave for another town.
With another beautiful adventure in my mind.
THE DAY(S) AFTER
The story took place maybe 3 weeks ago and we have been in touch since then: we also had a call where I changed her mood from crying to laughter and she's called me superman for a few days after .
I'd like to stay in touch beyond me simply replying to her messages and tell her to join me for a few days somewhere, but I think it might be not good for her: she hasn't met anyone new since me and her relationship status on FB is "it's complicated" lol
MEET – KEY MOMENT 1
I saw her while waiting for a friend outside of the metro, looked her move and pass me by and then went after her down the stairs.
I start talking to her on the stairs, but the incoming traffic of people splits us up as I go left and she moves right.
Now we’re on the street: I moved left on the sidewalk and I stand still, she is still walking.
ANALYSIS OF THE APPROACH: DYNAMICS
Allowing us to split up was probably a mistake, yet it also had one major advantage: it made me look less pushy and much less startling.
But at the price that it’s a much more likely she might not stop afterwards and I could lose her.
Luckily that’s not what happened.
She kept walking straight till the point she’s now something like 4 meters away, but she turned around to look towards me and slowed down.
When I notice that I get even more galvanized by calling her and motioning with my hands to “come here”. I say it many times, with much conviction. Until she indeed comes.
Once she follows my lead it’s obviously a bunch of points for me: strong compliance right off the bat: harder getting a better start.
So with this outcome it’s actually much better I “lost her” on the stairs, even though I wouldn’t recommend it as a modus operandi.
Once she comes I don’t “attack her” straight away: that would be too much, and plus I need to reward her.
So I smile very welcomingly and, very simply, thank her for having come to me.
Then I resume.
ANALYSIS OF THE APPROACH: WORDS
As many times the case, I started with "do you speak English", which some times ago I opened a topic about as I didn't understand why Chase said that "opener" is terrible as it shifts the pressure of the interaction onto the girl.
I might have even said "excuse me", which is another "opener" many people shy away from as it seems begging for permission.
I don't think it does: "excuse me" is a perfunctory sentence and doesn't really man "sorry". "sorry to disturb you", now that would be terrible, but "excuse me" is more like an attention grabber, and it actually does grab attention very well and you don't risk of start talking while she's not given you full attention.
Especially useful in those occasions with lots of noise and traffic of people where you really need some more efforts to stop her and/or get her full attention.
If she's sitting or walking in an empty street alone then indeed you are probably better off talking right away (alone in empty street better from far away to start with BTW).
ANALYSIS OF THE APPROACH: MOOD
I was in a great happy mood: I had met and exchanged contact with several girls before and I was waiting for a cool friend and was just happy we were having a couple beers together.
I'm not always like this, but I noticed when I have this very upbeat and contagious positive smile and optimism it's hard for girls not to stop or give me a positive reaction -doesn't mean it's always a "yes let's meet again", but very often I get received positively-.
Notice this is much easier to pull off when the girl is actually our type -at least for me-.
MAKE FRIEND WITH THE FRIENDS - KEY MOMENT 2
Now you’d think most of it is done, YET being the girl quite shy and not placing men into such a high priority –you’ll see why later- I think it would have still been “just a contact” without the friends’ support.
Indeed, the friends.
She’s with two girlfriends, so I keep it brief and tell her we should meet and exchange contact so she can keep going.
She’s unsure, but a confident voice comes from behind me to my support: “give him your number”. It's her friend, vocal and happy that nudges her to go ahead.
That was unexpected, so I turn to the friend, smile, and say “thank you”, then turn back to my girl and tell her something like “see, even your friend says you should, go ahead”.
Now she complies, and as she’s writing down her contact details, so I slightly turn and do some quick small talk with the two friends. Again I’m welcoming and happy, and I’m smiling.
One of the friends tell me it’s a “ladies night out” so I make a joke that I’m sorry for disturbing their all ladies thingy.
She actually says it’s ok, which made me think she probably didn’t get I was actually making fun of it, but telling her it was a joke would be a mistake, so I plough on with something else (writing the contact doesn’t take long anyway).
Making her friends -and mostly the leader of the group- a friend of mine was a key moment not only and probably not much for her help in getting my girl’s contact, but mostly for later on when the 3 of them would be alone and talk about me.
The friend would say she knew I was a good man as “she saw it in my eyes”.
Also the day after my girl -whom we will call Eve because, well… because that’s her name
- will ask her friend if she should indeed meet me, and again her friend would urge her to come see me (talking about good friends ANALYSIS: MOOD
Probably, it was important here that I was more on the happy/social side than (trying) to be on the sexy one: after a very quick and aggressive 1 minutes interaction when you bulldoze the girl to follow your lead it’s better to err on the “safe” side and show you're also a good man than trying to stay play the edgy man and risk scaring her off.
THE DATE
This was the perfect scenario to go with a girl who’s not very sexually open: meet early in the afternoon, walk around a street closed to the traffic to talk effortlessly, and have the chance of spending the whole day together.
Eve is a relatively successful diamond salesgirl.
She doesn’t seem “salesy” at all, and not much of a closer either to be honest. But she’s a beautiful petite girl, as she recognizes herself.. I suppose that helps.
Fairly standard talk here, bit of deep dive but not too deep as we walk around a market street and our attention is often taken by what's happening / being sold around.
BACK HOME
After walking around the street for maybe 40 minutes I invite her over to get her opinion on the diamonds poster I have on the walls.
Seems cheesy right?
Telling the diamond sales girl to come see your "diamond posters” ?
As if anyone has "diamond posters" in his room?
Well, guess what, it was actually true, there were diamond posters on my Airbnb flat.
The flat was indeed a former office of a diamond trader.
And can you believe in a city of millions Eve freaking knew, personally, the owner of my place? :S.
That was not good, but I underplayed it by saying I don’t know the guy and didn’t even talk to him and overplayed the fact that it must be destiny between us to encounter such coincidences.
Here I go for kissing her and encounter quite a bit of resistance. Eventually I grab her face and kiss her on the mouth, but it’s a hard slog towards escalating to anything concrete.
We also talk about relationships and get to know she’s only had one man before in a serious long relationship and hasn’t had sex in 3 years.
Here I do something I only do with girls I vibe with and it seems to be very effective: I get in front of her and grab her and shake her and happily tell her this is her chance and I am her chance to go back in the game, to have a great adventure again... And what a fantastic beautiful thing it is that it’s gonna happen with such a cool guy
.She asks me to show her the picture of my previous GF.
I might actually consider doing so in some other cases for preselection, but not here… Because, well, because my ex girlfriend looks eerily like Eve lol.
That’s an obvious no-no there or in spite of bonding and qualifying she might think I only approached her because she recalled me of my ex –which she would indeed ask me after I showed her the pic of my ex.. after sex-
Incidentally some days before a girl looking at the pics of my past girlfriends told me she could see what kind of girls I like, and she could do it across "races".
I found it intriguing and fascinating, she seemed like she knew what she was talking about.
I haven't developed that skill to see similarities through races but I'm starting to do so with Asian ones, which is: small body, thin, beautifully meaty and defined lips, small nose, well defined and natural eyebrows, small ass but "protruding" and, basically, look a bit like dolls –so much so that at a house party some time ago a girl walked up to my ex girlfriend out of the blue telling her how “awww, you look like such a beautiful doll”.. - .
Anyway, back to the story…
KEY MOMENT 3 – AGREE ON SPENDING THE EVENING TOGETHER
The escalation right here right now seemed difficult, she said she’d have to soon go to get her car, so I proposed I’d walk her and then we’d get food back.
I had other girls texting, but here I make a mental commitment to go for this one.
I’m a girl butterfly, an issue I have to overcome, and if I had been with a girl I wasn't particularly into I would have probably let her go and texted someone else to meet restarting everything from scratch: but the fact I liked her physically and as a person helped me in this case to stick with her.
Complications were both she didn’t like staying in the flat of a guy she knew and that her boss called her to bring the car back.
WALKING OUT OF MY FLAT
I touch her a lot now on in a sexually playful way. Also slap her ass -and she says no to do it publicly-.
A few more interesting parts:
1. Walking towards her car she tells me I look different today then when we met. I ask when did I look better, and she said probably today.
Time to go for a bunch of points home: I tell her she find me more handsome today because she’s starting to like me.
No reply from her, hit in bulls’ eye: nice.
2. She's edgy
We get back to the mall and she's less talkative now, I don't even understand what's in her mind and why she needs to bring the car back to the point I have to stop her and tell her "stop, explain, let's decide".
Sometimes she just walks ahead faster.
I interpret it she's nervous and thinking about the sex that might happen.
3. Cart "tests"
The drive in her car is also very interesting with lots of “testing” from her side: she might have told me, without exaggerating, 30 times that she was going back to her place and/or we should get the food either at a restaurant or at her place.
I might have replied only 6-7 times to that, sometimes with matter of factly “we’re doing this and that” some other times passionately on how it was going to be great (I find it's a game changer but never manage such a level of passion when I don’t vibe with the girl), some other times rationally listing the benefits of going back to my place together.
All the other times I never replied.
She was looking at me smiling while saying it as if to check my reaction.
My reaction? Well I just tightened the grip of my hand around her neck or touched her hand a bit more strongly or put my hand around her thighs and either stared ahead or looked at her with the corner of my eyes with a slight smile.
Notice I never got a verbal consent we’re actually going back to my place, not even once we get a taxi back.
It was not super easy at times acting as if it was a given, as sometimes I was really worried this might have not gone down.
At a certain point she started gripping my index and middles finger though, which gave me conviction it was going down...
.I made a cold read she was now “horny, excited and happy, but she still had a light veil of fear and apprehension which she should really burst through and finally enjoy to the fullest this great time together”, something like that, which I thought was very good as it was very passionate and genuine.
So she parks her car, goes to her office –located in one of the most luxurious places in town BTW- , I wait outside, then she comes out.
She’ll later admit she made me wait longer than actually needed. Damn silly women stuff, lost 2 points right there but got 3 back for telling me the truth and make me laugh about it
.Then we get a taxi back to my place.
ANALYSIS OF LEAVING THE FLAT: WAITING IS BETTER
While this website righteously say you should strive for sex to happen quick and push for sex whenever you got the chance, there's one thing more powerful for having a great interaction which both of you will cherish: lengthening the time you two spend together once you know attraction is there and sex is going to happen.
I'm convinced if we had had sex right there right then so quick, it wouldn't have been as beautiful.
On the other hand, leaving the flat and spending more time together as we both built up sexual excitement at the thought of what was going to happen later on just made the whole thing more memorable.
Caveat: it has to be during the same interaction and the same day
Note: since most times you can't actually be sure sex is indeed going to happen later on, you might be better served in making it happen whenever you can.
BACK TO MY PLACE SECOND TIME
We have the food, but I push to get sex before the eating telling her to “trust me, it will be much better”.
I stand, and she stays plastered on the couch as I physically try to pull her.
Then I change tack, I step a bit back and just tender my hand towards her, now I want her to make a step on her own.
After another minute or so of talking where I can see she’s about to do it, she finally gives me her hand and stand up.
Kissing, touching and then moved to bed.
Then music, wine and food, and as I had promised her, much better than if we hadn’t had sex before it.
Then we go for a second round, and then she leaves.
And then I leave for another town.
With another beautiful adventure in my mind
.THE DAY(S) AFTER
The story took place maybe 3 weeks ago and we have been in touch since then: we also had a call where I changed her mood from crying to laughter and she's called me superman for a few days after .
I'd like to stay in touch beyond me simply replying to her messages and tell her to join me for a few days somewhere, but I think it might be not good for her: she hasn't met anyone new since me and her relationship status on FB is "it's complicated" lol
