Macron slap

[ChrisXKiss]

Not exactly a slap, more like Brigitte shoving his face:

It's been pretty viral though, so I wanted to start a thread regarding these type of situations.

Macron said they were just joking around, but it makes sense that as a public figure he wouldn't admit a fight and his wife treating him like that.

The general question would be, what do you do if your wife/girlfriend slaps you, pushes you, generally treats you in a disrespectful way in public.

I understand that this is a problem with the relationship you are having already, that said let's say she suddenly throws a tantrum, you do something she does not like and she makes such a move.

I suspect that it will be reactive to escalate in public, raise your voice or even slap her back, so in a way I feel what Macron did was the best choice in his situation. Downplaying it and diverting attention from it, while keeping as much power as he can.

Or maybe if it would be possible, just leaving the situation could be an answer. Not sure if saying something like: "That's it we are leaving!", and trying to take her with you would be effective, because she can always just not leave with you. Maybe just letting her be and leaving yourself is better.

The main point is dealing with these things in private of course, I don't know how salvageable for the respect in the relationship this situation is though. I mean you can be very decisive and tell her you cannot accept what she did and even be ready to leave her, but if you do stay together I can't think of many ways that things can get better.

I suspect Macron himself is not keen in just breaking up for his public image, so can't think how he could even treat this behind close doors without the option to walk away. Maybe somehow making Brigitte understand that by openly disrespecting him he is losing popularity, so her being a good wife in public is better for both since he will keep his position longer.

Anyway, I'd like your thoughts on these types of behaviours.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

The general question would be, what do you do if your wife/girlfriend slaps you, pushes you, generally treats you in a disrespectful way in public.

Girls treat you in public the way they treat you in private. It's a symptom not a surprise.

Like with any bad behaviour, withdraw your time and attention in proportion to her lapse.

What's tough for Macron, is when a girl has this much leverage as being your wife for your public persona it reduces leverage. You can't just freeze her out lol.

One of the many reasons to be competent and lowkey vs public and a puppet but that's my humble opinion that's neither her nor there.

 

[Will_V]

Given Macron's personality and their relationship dynamic (from what I can tell anyway) I wouldn't be surprised if her being physically dominant like this is not just how they deal with eachother.

To your broader question, if a girl becomes physically aggressive with me it's the end of the relationship, and in the moment (if it happened in public) I'd simply walk away from her and that would be the end of that. There's no good way to respond to physical aggression except in kind and with double the force, and if I'm not going to do that I'll simply cut her loose.

I've never been physically attacked by a girl before, I generally avoid crazy girls for any kind of sexual relationship because I just don't need the trouble. There was one time I thought my live-in girlfriend was going to throw something in anger (she was pretty beserk at the time) and I preempted it by telling her she had to leave. She left for a couple of hours, cooled down, and we were good. And I made it very clear to her afterward that if she attacked me it would be the end of everything because I would either have to slap her back (which I'm not about to do in this day and age) or end it. I also took her to a gym one time and had her hold the bag while I combo'd it, and vice versa, and I think she learned something about the difference between men and women.

 

[TomInHo]

Like @DoWhatWorks said. . . when it happens in public, it’s usually been happening in private too

Personally, I have a zero tolerance policy for being touched like that, especially when someone’s annoyed

Even things like “play fighting” where a girl slaps your shoulder or pushes your face out of frustration, I don’t tolerate

And I’m not talking about flirty, playful touching. I mean when she’s visibly irritated and uses physical contact to express it

Some might say that’s extreme, but I’ve seen where this can lead. One of my friends had a girlfriend who started out giving little jabs when she was annoyed

Eventually, it escalated to punches, and I don’t mean Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson kind of punches. I’m talking legit uppercuts.

It was so bad he ended up in the hospital to get stiches

These things can get out of hand fast and in my opinion the best way to stop it is to catch it early

But here's how I personally handle it

If a woman gives me a jab or push when she’s annoyed, I immediately correct it:

“Hey! don’t do that. I don’t like to be touched like that.”

If she tries to laugh it off or say she’s just playing, I stay serious:

“I’m serious. I don’t like people invading my space like that. I like you, but that’s just a personal boundary of mine.”

Usually, she’ll get apologetic or change the subject

But if she brushes it off like it’s no big deal, I’ll pull back and withdraw attention and disengage for a while. That pause often makes her realize I’m not playing around

She may get apologetic here or might re-initiate by trying to change the topic. Either is good and you should just move past it quickly because she gets the point

But if she doesn’t get the hint and keeps making it seem like its no big deal or starts raising her voice

I have no problem ending the date right there

If she begs me to stay, I don’t argue, or listen I just leave. At that point, I don’t care how sorry she is.

I want her to learn a valuable lesson

"If I disrespect this man physically or keep pushing his stated boundaries. . . He will walk way from me"

But here’s the key

For this to work, a man has to be willing to enforce his boundaries. And sadly, most men won’t. Instead they’ll just suffer in silence

 

[gameboy]

I ended my last relationship after a fight during which my ex got physically violent, for the first time in the 6 years we were together. She didn't attack me personally, but threw her phone on the floor out of rage and stamped on it multiple times until it was completely destroyed. I was like, what's next? That was a red line for me and I ended it for good.

Never happened to me with any other girls.

 

[OldGuy]

The dynamic of that marriage is strange. She was his teacher in high school and had a daughter is his graduating class.

 

[Orchard]

We know nothing about the relationship based on the one slap. I happen to think any speculation it's just one's limiting beliefs and shadow masqueraing as speculation.

 

[gameboy]

We know nothing about the relationship based on the one slap. I happen to think any speculation it's just one's limiting beliefs and shadow masqueraing as speculation.

Imagine a guy saying that to the judge when he is being tried for domestic violence. "But I just slapped her a little in public, once! You know nothing about our relationship!"

 

[Orchard]

Imagine a guy saying that to the judge when he is being tried for domestic violence. "But I just slapped her a little in public, once! You know nothing about our relationship!"

Yeah imagine that - where is the judge here on this forum? Also in your construct, the judge doesn't need to know about the rest of the persons life. They are just going to trial them for the slap.

I guess I'm old; i see this and didn't bat an eye. In the USA, Dana White, one of the top UFC/TKO guys, who is also famous and rich and a friend of trump, was caught on private camera slapping his wife around. nothing happened.

So all this proves is that the law is applied uneevenly but that is a tale as old as time.

 

[TomInHo]

We know nothing about the relationship based on the one slap. I happen to think any speculation it's just one's limiting beliefs and shadow masqueraing as speculation.

You're right... one slap is no big deal at all

It's totally okay for your wife to slap you either in public or in private. It's also okay to scream and yell at your spouse all the time

That stuff keeps the relationship "spicy" and it's totally okay

 

[Orchard]

You're right... one slap is no big deal at all

It's totally okay for your wife to slap you either in public or in private. It's also okay to scream and yell at your spouse all the time

That stuff keeps the relationship "spicy" and it's totally okay

didn't say if it was right or wrong. I also didn't say it was Okay or supporting a spicy thing. Not arguing any of that.

 

[Chase]

@ChrisXKiss,

I've had girlfriends smack me on the arm, or punch me on the leg, or shove me when upset. Each time I smacked/shoved back in the same part of the body with the same level of force. Each time I got <surprised face> "You don't hit a woman!" Each time I replied with, "You hit me, I hit back; same part of the body, same degree of force." After only one or two incidents it never occurred again with any one girlfriend.

Basic operant conditioning, like training a dog -- if she discovers "When I do X, the result is painful/scary," she will stop doing X.

That said, there are chicks out there who will escalate, instead of learn the lesson. e.g., they hit you, you hit them back, they hit you back again, etc. In that case it's basically a dysfunctional relationship dynamic; she needs a guy who's just going to beat her up, or let her beat him up. If you don't want to be either of those guys, I would presume (not having dated girls like this... nor would I) the only way out is to leave.

As for stuff happening in public:

I haven't had a woman get physical with me in public, but I've had it happen a few times where a woman tried shouting at or arguing with me in public (which personally I just hate). In that case, you need to change the audience you're playing to: if she wants to make it public, it is no longer about you and her, but about your image with the general public and her image with the general public. So, you are going to go for the "upstanding, charming guy who for unknowable reasons is stuck with a dumb harpy" impression and throw her public image under the bus.

If she is doing something improper in public, you just look at other people, do the, "Sheesh! Women, amirite?" expression, and shrug your shoulders and put your hands as if you don't know what possibly triggered that irrational outburst. The onlookers will give you sympathetic looks or look like they want to laugh too, and commiserate with you.

Also, of the two times I can recall having had women really snap at me in public, I immediately cancelled what we were on our way to go do and told the girl I had no mood for it anymore and was no longer interested in being in public with her.

Typically, she is going to end up feeling like she embarrassed herself later, and may even ask you why you didn't stop her from embarrassing herself (good response: "How am I supposed to stop that? Slap you? Hypnotize you?").

Once again, operant conditioning in action, and she is going to feel a lot shier about kicking up some drama in public again (because she is going to be made to feel ashamed).

Anyway, if I was Macron, I would've flashed one of these looks at the camera:




Or maybe this look:



And then I would have walked down the steps myself, not waiting for his granny wife, and definitely not extending my arm to her.

She wants to act a fool in public, she can get treated like a fool, and see how much she likes it!

Chase

 

[ulrich]

Being devils advocate here but when I saw that slap, I just assumed they are probably a little rough to each other in private.

Still, it was terrible for her to slap him in public and I hope Macron has the skills to make her realize it.

That being said, I cannot even imagine the dynamics of a serious relationship with your former teacher who is significantly older than you.
Older women were never my cup of tea.

 

[L8D8]

Jesh, can't believe Macron is married to that old broad. Maybe she was angry because he added another French mistress to his stable.

Once a woman turns 22 I consider her a cougar