Mainland China Woes

[Nathan277]

So as anyone who knows me understand, I do love a little challenge. After a little bit of a break from this particular demographic due to a lot of annoyances in the past I decided to try my hand on a months long trip to Mainland China with my Chinese friend.

Well where to begin? The girls here are unlike even other asian countries like Hong Kong or Korea - Often giddy at being approached by me and generally replying fast to messages with detailed responses... But that's about where it ends. Getting 1 in 25 or 1 in 30 out on a date is an achievement it seems (compared to 1 in 3 or so in London), and even once you bring em out and pull out all the stops you can see her melting under her attraction but she will not allow you to go further, can't even get them to hold hands in public. Anyway I've approached so many I must be under surveillance here now - And because the girls are so predictable you really can reach a wonderful euphoric flow state when approaching during daygame and the numbers do rack right up.

However all they want to do is endlessly text. I've recently made some progress by basically using a nice guy strategy, really building comfort and emotional openness over text and the girls responded in kind, however when it was time to suggest a meetup they always dodge! One girl said she was very afraid her english wasn't good and my chinese is only intermediate and she feared we'd be unable to communicate properly. She said she felt very nervous.

I went to a nightclub in Guangzhou and got loads of interest left right and centre, plenty of dancing and managed to pull a stunning girl out of the club who my chinese friend (who isn't a fan of his own country's girls and prefers to sleep with white women) admitted was nothing other than a 10/10, nearly had her in the taxi to my hotel when her friend intervened. Anyway later encountered her again and she nearly had my belt off and trousers down in the street, as you can imagine to the shock and horror of the conservative locals! We kissed passionately but trying to get her in a taxi again ultimately failed and with the sunrise rapidly approaching I cut my losses and headed home empty handed once again.

So basically despite meeting some lovely girls who tell me speaking with me is amazing and I'm so smart and all this validating stuff (tends to happen when you follow advice from Girls Chase), I've been in China a week with pretty much no result physically, but a long trail of everything else.

Help me out - Clearly I'm doing something very wrong! Why can I sleep with dozens of women in other countries within 30 minutes, but in Mainland China I can't even hardly get a girl to hold my hand? I've tried everything and my only thoughts are that the culture here is very closed, girls fear foreigners and are educated to present themselves well to potential providers (the beautiful girls with overweight men here is always a sore point for my 6 ft 4 Chinese model friend). My Chinese friend has some more luck than me a little but still plenty of struggles it seems, and he was born and raised here and has slept with a lot of girls here in the past. Is it low self esteem? One girl admitted later that she didn't want to talk to me because she has no self confidence - my persistence and my 3 strike rule (3 attempts by them to bypass me or to walk away during a street stop before I let them go) saved the day.

How to text them differently from western girls or other asian girls? How to approach them differently? What am I missing here? Any keys that crack it open here? Do they think I have a disease (my chinese friend suggested this).

Someone save my trip!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[S.S Can]

maybe it was @alleniverson that suggested attempting to build up compliance over text in order to guarantee the meet. If the problem that they have is coming out to meet with you, just bread crumb them.

Tell them to send over pictures of their outfits, hop on a call/facetime, flirt with her and get the date over the phone.

 

[Atlas IV]

Have done multiple trips to China, 10+ lay count there over the past year.

Some thoughts:

- Find girls who speak English. If they have travelled/studied abroad, even better. Even if you can speak Chinese, try to use English as much as possible. Best way to avoid falling into the boyfriend frame, plus they will be more aroused. This goes for texting too.

- For girls who speak zero English, focus on leading, being playful and touchy, give them arousal spikes. They're not used to that from Chinese guys, so you can be the pattern break (which also sets the lover frame). Seduce her with your eyes and voice.

- Create a time constraint - make sure she knows you're busy and/or not gonna be in the city forever.

- For texting to set up a date, best to keep it simple and straightforward
e.g. (after some light chitchat)
We should meet up for a tea or maybe a cocktail sometime I feel like we had really nice chemistry the other day
This makes it clear so she knows what it's about.

The Gen Z of mainland China have grown up under such tight filtering of information that they have a very warped view of the outside world. This is what you need to keep in mind as a foreigner. Up front, many girls might seem very interested in you, but they're also gonna be nervous and unsure. The key is in balancing comfort and arousal.

Other than that, it's just putting in the reps and doing lots and lots of approaches - filtering for girls who can accept the "possible hook up with a foreigner" social frame basically. As a foreigner you're gonna face a lot of extreme knee jerk reactions from girls both positive and negative. Just gotta roll with it, understand that it's not you it's just the nature of the environment. You are an alien in an alien land.

My recent LR from there, and another from earlier this year, you might find interesting

 

[Nathan277]

Have done multiple trips to China, 10+ lay count there over the past year.

Some thoughts:

- Find girls who speak English. If they have travelled/studied abroad, even better. Even if you can speak Chinese, try to use English as much as possible. Best way to avoid falling into the boyfriend frame, plus they will be more aroused. This goes for texting too.

- For girls who speak zero English, focus on leading, being playful and touchy, give them arousal spikes. They're not used to that from Chinese guys, so you can be the pattern break (which also sets the lover frame). Seduce her with your eyes and voice.

- Create a time constraint - make sure she knows you're busy and/or not gonna be in the city forever.

- For texting to set up a date, best to keep it simple and straightforward
e.g. (after some light chitchat)
We should meet up for a tea or maybe a cocktail sometime I feel like we had really nice chemistry the other day
This makes it clear so she knows what it's about.

The Gen Z of mainland China have grown up under such tight filtering of information that they have a very warped view of the outside world. This is what you need to keep in mind as a foreigner. Up front, many girls might seem very interested in you, but they're also gonna be nervous and unsure. The key is in balancing comfort and arousal.

Other than that, it's just putting in the reps and doing lots and lots of approaches - filtering for girls who can accept the "possible hook up with a foreigner" social frame basically. As a foreigner you're gonna face a lot of extreme knee jerk reactions from girls both positive and negative. Just gotta roll with it, understand that it's not you it's just the nature of the environment. You are an alien in an alien land.

My recent LR from there, and another from earlier this year, you might find interesting

Thank you man, your stuff is crucial to my game here. Just been speaking with a Chinese PUA who advised the importance of being super chill and just showing you are very busy and she's like an afterthought on the way to somewhere else. Otherwise looks like you can't beat the good old instant date. China is such a strange and complex society, but that makes everything more interesting.

I will read up on your reports again later on before I go out and keep them at the front of my mind, and most of all just have some fun!

 

[isildur1]

been to China 5 times - ran a lot of daygame there in 2019 - was recently there in 2025 although not for daygame or dating purposes more for work -

Nightgame in China is a different kettle of fish compared to the western world - in Shanghai i'd received a fair few compliments but got turned down for every escalation approach when i went for the kiss , very different from the west - in general observing the clubs in 2019 i never saw people publicly making out in the clubs so i feel there's a large element of slut shaming that goes on there.

Overall if i was to do nightgame again there- i'd focus on doing more interactions in the clubs, not physically esculating and trying to rack as many wechats as possible before asking for the dates in the next weeks. Yes it seems spammy but the flake rate for night game for me is ususally far higher than daygame - as in nightgame women are under the influence of alcohol and can often quickly change their minds the following day. Slut shamming is a far bigger deal in china than in the west- so i wouldn't go to kiss a woman infront of their friends - even if you succeed theres a high likelihood she's going to get slut shammed from her friends or feel a bit embarrassed- its simply not like the west there, there are still hyper-conservative views you need to content with and clubs where every woman is judged puts them in the spotlight- i'd say it's best not to go for the kiss in the clubs.

In regards to getting complimented - yes its a nice ego boost but it doesn't mean anything - i've been called handsome by chinese women in clubs , on instagram messages from daygame interactions etc. i'd say 50-60 percent of the time it ends up in flakes and rejections regardless- women aren't like men - they dont simply fuck everything they are attracted to - there are other important variables in attraction to them. I used to very gullibly believe that every girl that complimented me wanted to insta fuck me this was simply not the case - a lot of them would then shun me if i compliment them or would require a lot more comfort building before escalation was viable . Try and brush off the compliments- saying "you think i am handsome? my mum thinks the same - you guys think alike you will the perfect daughter in law for her i will tell her now!"

If you're getting a lot of lmr or flakes it could be an issue with your comfort building in interactions- are you coming across as too confident or charismatic? with more conservative chinese women there's been times when 5-10 minutes of dull conversation actually helped to build a lot of comfort that helped secure a number that actually didn't flake . Interestingly when i was gaming in London- Harrods i had one Chinese girl accusing me of being a super model player- when i made out with her after the interaction i then pushed for a coffee instant date before another restaurant date- this may seem like longing out the process but it did build more rapport and trust with her- i got her back to mind the same day although she accused me of having stis and being a player so refused to sleep with me- but the point is i managed to get her back to mine by stretching out the date from 1 hour to 5 - this is pretty unconventional but for conservative girls or asian women who have a feeling that westerners are all players riddled with stis its a good way to win comfort and rapport - your close to date rate in the west seems really good - it could be you're doing something in your interactions with Chinese girls that are overwhelming them or feeling uneasy.

A few other examples in London - I had one Chinese woman who i insta dated and kissed who then flipped over dm message because she found out i approached her friend 2 weeks prior that led her to believe i was some super player who was approaching everyone in london ( im not) but she then blocked me - it made me realise that a lot of these chinese women had a romantic fantasy and by being too cocky or confident or playboy i was destroying that .
- One Vietnamese woman in London who again flaked because i was being too arrogant and confident through text- should've stopped the dhvs and just got her out - but thought by showing off my life i would hook her-it lost attraction because i did too much

Remember that china is a country of a billion people that can vary from hyper conservative religious muslim women to Gen Z liberal sluts - there's a lot more variance between personalities from interaction to interaction . This is quite different to London , Manchester and western cities i'd gamed in where a lot of the western women had very similar views to sex and relationships. When i started daygame in 2018 in london i went on 5 dates with chinese Chinese +1 chinese businesswoman in a row all failed to escalate into sex because it was very different to that of dating western women - and of course it was quite an overwhelming experience because a lot of pua theory assumes that all women are the same when they just aren't . It was a hard process to adapt because somethings that i did that would impress American and British women would piss off the Chinese girls and somethings that the Chinese women liked a lot would piss off the western women i dated - so really some cases the seduction would be the opposite - For me it was hard to get around at first but i tried to come up with ways that seemed to increase my success rate :

1. Have a great Wechat and Instagram- i have a wechat that shows off a lot of my value, photos of me in different parts of the world doing things all relatively high quality - make sure you spend real time on your wechat- china is a country where status matters a lot to women - if you have pictures of you doing interesting things you can build up a lot of stories in her head. They also serve to build comfort and ensure that you're not a dangerous individual - Always aim for wechat closes in China as the majority of chinese women in China don't have instagram - for Hong Kong , Macau , Taiwan, i think instagram is still the most desirable but try wechat too. I've dated a fair few chinese women that admited to stalking my wechat before hand and drawing interest thanks to my cool photos -if you want you can dm me i can help you organise your wechat photos for free if you want.

2 . Learn Chinese- i speak fluent Mandarin and have been learning for the past 5 years - it definitely helps to build rapport.
Focus on longer conversations and interactions- again this goes against the "pua grain " but usually more conservative women require longer conversation , rapport building to build comfort. Seduction isn't neccesarily meant to be always attraction and spikes- sometimes mundane conversation can be to the benefit as long as youre DHVing a bit and drawing interest there's no need to be impatient- again this goes against the conventional grain but understand that there are still conservative and shy women in the world that will take time to build rapport with and a lot of the time it's not your fault it's just the environment the women are in - i discussed this issue before with @Atlas IV remember life for alot of chinese they are cramped in schools of 60 at a young age , they do everything on screens thus they - in some cases can become a bit socially retarded as a result - this makes a lot of them shy and introverted and thus you can't expect sparks to fly and for them to be socially extroverted right from the off - it's just not going to be like that with a lot of women especially those raised in the sort of environment that china ises speaking the language has helped convert a lot of maybes to yeses , it also draws a lot more intrigue from them , makes them calmer and is a dhv without trying to dhv .

3. During interactions have your phone ready to tell stories of your trips to other parts of china, try and build relatability and familiarity and comfort - usually i'd talk about my travels to china and show them my photos of places i'd been , i'd also try and dhv subtly that i have family living in America, that im from london and my parent's have a place in france- yes its vain but its the sort of dhv that can show that im a stranger to be trusted - again its long winded and mundane but it really does help with the more conservative girls

4. When you're out and about send pictures of where you are to women as a date request - i just found this cool bar im taking you next week- might be a way to hook dates to the women you are messaging excessively .

Also don't be too hard on yourself- if you put too much pressure or let the bad flakes, lmrs get the better of you it will seep into your interactions - again this is easier said than done and theres been hundreds of occasions where i've let failure get the better of me in the moment- flakes happen and bad streaks happen to everyone. Especially when you're gaming in a different environment, with different political ideologies, religion and views on sex it can be very overwhelming. I've gamed in Krgyztan , tajikistan, Uzbekistan , Oman , Saudi Arabia in 2019 and its a mind fuck and really hard to figure out when things are going well and when they are going badly- because the women are different- and the problem with generic pua or internet pua videos is they assume every woman is the same personality wise but really in Asia a lot of them are completely different to that of the stereotypical British or American frat girl and making that adjustment can be really difficult alot of people come in with high expectations in pua or put a lot of pressure on themselves whilst forgetting that a lot of women are different and thats fundamentally no fault of your own