Make plans before getting the number

[Will_V]

Hey guys, just had another re-realization after ramping up my daygame a bit.

You might have heard the concept of 'seed the date during the approach' in order to improve the chances she will agree to a date later on. This is good advice, but there's even better. I was watching a John Anthony video (I know he's in spats with loads of people but I don't care, I just listen to what he says about game) and he brought up something very useful.

Don't just seed the date, make tentative concrete plans before taking her number, with a specific date and time.

She's likely to agree since it's specific but not set in stone, and then you take her number with her already anticipating the date and having it in her calendar.

The best thing about this? There's no weird 'what now?' moment where you sit there staring at your phone and wondering how to maneuver her toward a date with a series of lame texts. There's no weird pressure on her as she wonders what the whole thing was about and when you're going to get around (if ever) to actually asking her out.

Since you've already made plans, there's also none of this sense of a weak lead quickly fizzling out while you sit there and try to save it with some fantabulous texting.
...

I determined to make sure that today I made some very concrete plans. Usually I would just suggest the date, grab the number, and go, but today I would be going further.

Here's the end of an interaction I just had with a Thai girl who already told me she was overloaded with work and study.

Me: "So HB I've got to go now, how about we catch up for a coffee sometime?"

Her: "OK" but looking a bit doubtful.

Me [pulling out phone]: "OK I'll take your number. Are you free this weekend?"

Her: "No I have to work"

Me: "What day do you think you'll be free?" with good eye contact.

Her: "Wednesday? I'm not sure though"

Me: "OK I understand, let's say you are free Wednesday, what time around about?"

Her: "After 1pm?"

Me: "OK let's meet on Wednesday afternoon then - no promises but tentative plans, OK?"

Her: "OK!"

I take her number and text her half an hour later [completely ripping off Chase's text format]:

Me text: "Wonderful to have met! ~Will"

Her text (immediately): "Have a great night "

Now she's at ease, she knows what's what, I don't have to come up with a lame roundabout way to get her to come out. I'll just send her a couple of nice messages to keep up the rapport, and confirm early next week. Easy.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Will_V dude! This is already mentioned in a few articles by @Chase on how to get numbers, it makes it more natural to get the number after arranging a date, it gets rid of the ambiguity and increases the chances that she'll message back and not flake while also getting investment and compliance.

The rule of don't do anything over text that you could do in person is also present, you ask her out in person because you have the confidence to do so and it streamlines your text because you don't have to do this over text. This is also recommended by Chase.

This is something I've suggested in advice to some dudes recently while addressing their texting

How to Get a Phone Number from a Girl Every Time You Ask

One of the most glaring things missing from the content available on the blog here has been an authoritative article on how to get a phone number from a girl. I put up "Natural Number Swapping" sometime back, and that covers the basics; Ricardus has covered phone numbers somewhat in a couple of...

www.girlschase.com

Make it about a date not a number

There's another article on natural number swapping linked in this article that covers this to iirc

 

[Will_V]

@Will_V dude! This is already mentioned in a few articles by @Chase on how to get numbers, it makes it more natural to get the number after arranging a date, it gets rid of the ambiguity and increases the chances that she'll message back and not flake while also getting investment and compliance.

The rule of don't do anything over text that you could do in person is also present, you ask her out in person because you have the confidence to do so and it streamlines your text because you don't have to do this over text. This is also recommended by Chase.

This is something I've suggested in advice to some dudes recently while addressing their texting

How to Get a Phone Number from a Girl Every Time You Ask

One of the most glaring things missing from the content available on the blog here has been an authoritative article on how to get a phone number from a girl. I put up "Natural Number Swapping" sometime back, and that covers the basics; Ricardus has covered phone numbers somewhat in a couple of...

www.girlschase.com

Make it about a date not a number

There's another article on natural number swapping linked in this article that covers this to iirc

Yeah it's definitely not something new I'm sure, but I do think it's an important detail that is often not highlighted.

That's a great article you linked that I haven't read in a while, I like the way it emphasizes grabbing the number at the right time, and I think this conveys the same mindset as what I mentioned - namely that the phone number and date plans are simply a means of connecting to a new shared experience, they aren't anything overwhelmingly huge in themselves.

But I haven't really seen emphasized much the idea of nailing down a specific date and time, essentially making full tentative logistical plans, during the approach, rather than just soft closing the date as a concept, and grabbing the phone number as a means to flesh it out. Because when you just get her to agree to the idea of a date, it's still potentially awkward to move to any sort of logistics over text, as you need some rapport first, and it seems likely that when seeding the date she would often just say 'yes' without thinking or investing in the idea, which could cause problems later. This 'standard' way is something I've done many times already, so it's of course far from impossible, but in my experience I can still lose a girl quickly with rapport building that's even slightly poor, especially those who are a bit unsure of what to make of the whole interaction.

I've of course brushed up on the texting guide here: https://www.girlschase.com/how-to-text-a-girl

However I've not been able to consistently make the example follow-up text from that guide - one that combines consideration, new information, and a soft close - work for me. It tends to come out wordy and overbearing when I try to do it, getting low-investment response or nothing at all. It's entirely possible I'm just not doing it right but it's a huge pothole in my game right now. So that's why I've been reading loads about texting from different sources and trying to figure out it's exact position and role where it belongs.

Again I think the concept of seeding the date before number closing is well emphasized by Girls Chase, but fleshing out specific plans is not - in the article you mentioned, @Chase specifically says:

Most of the time though, you'll be fine simply asking a girl if she'll join you out again later that week or the next, and then simply asking for her phone number so the two of you can coordinate.

Maybe there's a good reason - I'm still a student of the game, and I haven't had a chance to field test this idea many times (which I maybe should have made clearer) but it worked today to get a very warm, immediate icebreaker response from a girl I would typically have expected to be difficult to coordinate with later (she was very busy and overloaded, didn't show an incredible amount of investment in the conversation and was even a little flighty at first which I had to work through). Even if she had responded the same way otherwise, I'm guessing it would have been a bit difficult to get her to work through the logistics with me, whereas this way I just have to ping her a couple of times over the weekend.

My goal here is simply to highlight something that might work well for some people - even if it's just in terms of looking at the process differently, as the article you linked does well - and something that I will be testing a lot going forward. In fact one of my main goals for this summer is to try a lot of different stuff, I've gotten along so far with a pretty basic arsenal and a good natural ability to perceive and calibrate, but I do want to try to find ways to expedite things and spend less time sarging and more on my business.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Will_V dude! I haven't tried to look for it but I'm sure making concrete plans before the number close is mentioned somewhere, maybe it's a false memory :') I've been doing it for years, the standard is soft close, gauge their interest, if they respond positively to the soft close, ask when they're free (the same as you would by text), make plans (hard close), then number close.

A further "advanced" thing I like to do with this (only ever field tested in night game) is not ask for their number and at most say it as a statement/seed "I'll grab your number" but this is dropped in casually before continuing the conversation making them wonder if you've forgot and then they ask for your number or ask for your phone so they can make sure you've got there's which ups their investment. This does a few things and frames it that they want something from you.

Although the standard follow up text from that guide works for me I also find it wordy. It's outdated really for how text tends to work now, @Skills guide has a better model for it - also when it comes to texting I break just about every rule in the book...

A follow up I find smoother for this is if you've soft closed the date before getting the number, is to follow the skills method of banter > soft close > hard close. Get some rapport as it's a different medium, then casually drop "that sounds cool, you'll have to tell me more about it when we get those drinks" soft closing again before hard closing. You're following up the previous seed by reminding them in a cool casual nonchalant way.

My most recent one where I was only able to soft close before the number close (she made this extremely difficult) we agreed to something, I followed up with "now we've agreed on that, we need to agree on a time to grab those drinks" she commented how smooth that was later on in bed :')

 

[Chase]

Good discussion, fellas.

@Will_V dude! I haven't tried to look for it but I'm sure making concrete plans before the number close is mentioned somewhere

I have a post about it last year here:

Joint Date Planning Before You Ask Her Out

Plan a date together, before you leave her side, to raise the odds she shows up for it later. Use a few date-maximizing tricks to stack things in your favor. Usually when we talk about how to ask a girl out, I tell you to keep it as simple as possible: Ask her out Then take her contact info The...

www.girlschase.com

That said, it is definitely my normal preference to NOT get into date/time specifics with a girl while still in-person with her.

YMMV, but in my experience girls are all excited and flustered when we're in person, and will belt out some date and time, but half the time following up over text later they come back with, "Oh I forgot I have blah blah going on that day. Another time maybe?"

I dislike this whole she-gives-you-a-time-then-remembers-she-already-has-plans-so-needs-to-reschedule song and dance and seem to run into it far too much when planning too many of the details in advance. I would much rather just have her tell me when she's free over text, when she is thinking clearly and knows her schedule, and not when she's all flustered around me or whatever is going on to make girls give times they aren't actually available then have to reschedule.

It could be a something personal to the way I present myself or the style of game I am running though; I cannot say for sure. I haven't seen enough guys testing both ways to know if one way is definitely always better for every guy running every type of game.

Chase

 

[HoofHearted]

I am trying to formulate a question here...

What if women just like you? How do you screen out those women?

I ask because I recently took a phone number. Cuddled with the girl, spent time 1on1, tried to pull home ("i have to get up early"), set a future hang (? "Lets meet up for a drink").

But i suspect, and have frame of reference for, that she just likes being around me, and may not be romantically interested. My sense is when I go to pull her home, if i do meet her for a drink, shes gonna say just lookin for friends. Which is fine, i'll tell her bye, but

Is there a way to just screen these chicks out? That way I don't have to run around pushing it to this conclusion

I may be fucking up earlier here, by not making it sexual enough, which may be why.

 

[Will_V]

Good discussion, fellas.



I have a post about it last year here:

Joint Date Planning Before You Ask Her Out

Plan a date together, before you leave her side, to raise the odds she shows up for it later. Use a few date-maximizing tricks to stack things in your favor. Usually when we talk about how to ask a girl out, I tell you to keep it as simple as possible: Ask her out Then take her contact info The...

www.girlschase.com

That said, it is definitely my normal preference to NOT get into date/time specifics with a girl while still in-person with her.

YMMV, but in my experience girls are all excited and flustered when we're in person, and will belt out some date and time, but half the time following up over text later they come back with, "Oh I forgot I have blah blah going on that day. Another time maybe?"

I dislike this whole she-gives-you-a-time-then-remembers-she-already-has-plans-so-needs-to-reschedule song and dance and seem to run into it far too much when planning too many of the details in advance. I would much rather just have her tell me when she's free over text, when she is thinking clearly and knows her schedule, and not when she's all flustered around me or whatever is going on to make girls give times they aren't actually available then have to reschedule.

It could be a something personal to the way I present myself or the style of game I am running though; I cannot say for sure. I haven't seen enough guys testing both ways to know if one way is definitely always better for every guy running every type of game.

Chase

Interesting take, and yeah I've yet to see if it massively improves the results. The main thing for me so far is that I think for colder leads (girls who aren't completely into you, and maybe are stressed out by a busy schedule) it makes things more comfortable, as they don't have to think 'oh that guy, who was he? Do I really want to go out with him? When can I do it?' because they can just say 'ok the date is sorted, let's see how it goes'.

My game is pretty rusty right now due to letting my social life go down the drain over the last year or two, very poor logistics, and spending extended periods in 'monk mode' coding and whatnot, so maybe I'll find it a bit superfluous later on when things are back to normal. But doing it this way did make the whole interaction feel different and more solidified, and it might be something I do now as a habit for girls that I sense are going to be unstable to build rapport with over text - in the example I gave she was even hard to build rapport with in person and seemed a bit preoccupied.

Hopefully some other guys can try it out too and report back.

 

[Will_V]

I am trying to formulate a question here...

What if women just like you? How do you screen out those women?

I ask because I recently took a phone number. Cuddled with the girl, spent time 1on1, tried to pull home ("i have to get up early"), set a future hang (? "Lets meet up for a drink").

But i suspect, and have frame of reference for, that she just likes being around me, and may not be romantically interested. My sense is when I go to pull her home, if i do meet her for a drink, shes gonna say just lookin for friends. Which is fine, i'll tell her bye, but

Is there a way to just screen these chicks out? That way I don't have to run around pushing it to this conclusion

I may be fucking up earlier here, by not making it sexual enough, which may be why.

Not sure if that's related to the thread, but generally the idea is to sexualize and try for more and more compliance, such as making inuendo, getting physical, etc. Sometimes girls are just not sure what to do until you make it obvious, so don't take it for granted she doesn't want to do stuff with you.

 

[HoofHearted]

Thanks!

Your thread made me think of it because we set a specific meet up and I recently seemed to follow the steps you described somewhat

But somewhere the process seemed to go wonky. I'm thinkin yeah this chick will come out, but something else is wrong

(Have very high degree of compliance)

 

[Will_V]

A further "advanced" thing I like to do with this (only ever field tested in night game) is not ask for their number and at most say it as a statement/seed "I'll grab your number" but this is dropped in casually before continuing the conversation making them wonder if you've forgot and then they ask for your number or ask for your phone so they can make sure you've got there's which ups their investment. This does a few things and frames it that they want something from you.

Sounds like a good plan for more excitable girls, will definitely try it out sometime!

A follow up I find smoother for this is if you've soft closed the date before getting the number, is to follow the skills method of banter > soft close > hard close. Get some rapport as it's a different medium, then casually drop "that sounds cool, you'll have to tell me more about it when we get those drinks" soft closing again before hard closing. You're following up the previous seed by reminding them in a cool casual nonchalant way.

That's what I typically do, and credit to @Skills for emphasizing not going for hard close right away, it's something I've taken to heart (and I've realized that a lot of things that look like a soft close can actually come across as a hard close when it's not framed well). But the rapport aspect does trip me up for whatever reason - I can get numbers reliably, in fact earlier this week I went 3 for 3 doing afternoon daygame, which was fun - but I tend to get way too many that fizzle out on the second or third texts. I know why - it's because I'm writing texts I don't even feel connected to - so that's why I'm trying to zero in on a way I can text that's fluid and natural for me, and part of that is minimizing the need for it to begin with.

My most recent one where I was only able to soft close before the number close (she made this extremely difficult) we agreed to something, I followed up with "now we've agreed on that, we need to agree on a time to grab those drinks" she commented how smooth that was later on in bed :')

So you agreed to something else on text first, and then used the 'yes' momentum to get her to agree on the drinks? Very smooth

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Will_V dude! The rapport aspect tripped me up for a while, what was even more frustrating about it was I used to be the witty interesting conversation guy and didn't ask girls out fast enough before I discovered seduction. An issue I encountered a lot with night game was was this FSC or was my texting that bad. I must have read everything on texting multiple times.

I tried to cut texting out or minimise it and use it for logistics only and this presented other problems, I had a lot more flakes. I'm now a conservationist though text and this seems to work well.

Yeah it was something trivial about the music being good, she said she agreed and I used the momentum to bring up the soft close she agreed to to then set the date, it tied her words in nicely. It's basically mirroring and framing it to suit your goal. I'll misinterpret everything if I can frame it in my favour :')

 

[Skills]

Jmlv objectively runs a lot of numbers, more of screening game... volume

Pros of seeding the date if the girl is green and strong interaction, cool, and huge volume.....

Cons,

To understand the con please read this post and ijjjjjji additional entry i made on the psychology. Meet anxiety context:

Why does it work, well, women feel tons of pressure and get anxiety when they are facing a commitment or call to action (“I have to meet this dude and I told him I would, oh shit! What if I get disappointed, what if he is uglier than when I met him, what if he wants sex, what if I don’t like him anymore, I got spend and hour getting dress, I need to shave, what would I wear, I need to flat iron my hair)…….

Why Plans Result in Cold Feet.

The inherent problem with planned events, is that during the period leading up to the event, there will be 'low' periods where future events are seen in a 'negative light' of worry or lack of enthusiasm. (Just think about a time when you were feeling worried, tired or just bored.) During such times, negative thoughts and worries tend to ACCUMULATE in regard to upcoming events. With longer time span, more such 'lows' will occur, potentially allowing multiple layers of negativity to accumulate. End result is often total loss of interest or even AVERSION.

In short, planning in advance will make any previous doubts FESTER & AMPLIFY, resulting in COLD FEET.

Conclusion: NEVER plan a first meet-up in advance.

How to Bait via text to get her to hint a meet

Guys you know I like to ramble, but my rambling are PRACTICAL, just stay with me, you know how I love to make shit simple… A seducer asked me to do, a how do I do my baiting (actually there was a texting guide by ijjji rip where he kind of explain my texting style really good based on a post I...

www.skilledseducer.com

The other con is that you will not have her project, if texting correctly positive qualities and fantasies of the dude she things you are... more seduction.... with the yellow and even with reds....

 

[HoofHearted]

Wow, I agree with that 100% actually.

Except maybe that things do have to firm up eventually. My theory always was 24-48hrs. Minimal time for the girl to spook herself.

From ym experience, this works.

What I like about OP is that is shows so much intention. This ain't a real estate seminar, we are going out in a more intimate context. I like having that established, but i'm not a very sexy bastard, maybe if you are a sexy bastard, your vibe gives all the context that you need?

But setting the day/time commitment more than 48hrs out I have to feel scares the fish, for reasons that have been stated.

This is a great thread, i'm gonna fuck around with some of this. i am currently plugging some foundational holes, so i can lay a foundation of hoes

(sorry)

 

[HoofHearted]

Not sure if that's related to the thread, but generally the idea is to sexualize and try for more and more compliance, such as making inuendo, getting physical, etc. Sometimes girls are just not sure what to do until you make it obvious, so don't take it for granted she doesn't want to do stuff with you.

Just dropping by to say you were exactly right.

It turns out this girl likes me so much it's making her nervous.