- Joined
- Jan 4, 2013
- Messages
- 747
Hey guys, not sure whether to put this in the Beginners or Relationships section....
This is a hypothetical question that I was thinking about the other day. I have a new rule in my life where I will not commit to a relationship unless we have had sex. Chase's material always says this, and it's something that I've learned through personal experience. So after seeing the shortcomings of non-sex relationships, I made it a new rule of mine for 2014.
The question I have is about when women bring up a relationship. This is the scenario that I think of in my head:
Her: "Are we in a relationship?"
Me: "Well.... not really. I do like you a lot, but I have a simple rule that I follow for relationships now."
Her: "What's that?"
Me: "I won't commit to an exclusive relationship unless me and a woman have been intimate together."
If she asks why, I may go into the "friendzone" thoughts or just leave it vague and say "just from past experience."
The problem I see with this is that it sounds like an ultimatum -- which I guess it is technically. And if she does agree to sex, then she may feel that I indirectly forced her, tricked her, or manipulated her. I'm not sure how to fix that. (And of course, if she says that will never happen before commitment, then sayounara.)
Fortunately, if we're having sex within the first few days, which I will always be pushing for anyway, then this shouldn't be a problem. It would only be a problem with "crazy" girls that want a relationship after just 2-3 dates (without sex).
Still, if you're unable to have sex with a girl until 4 weeks of seeing each other and she's really into and/or has slotted you in the "boyfriend role" instead of the "lover role," this scenario may arise, and I'm wondering the best way to handle it.
I know that I should prevent this at all costs by moving fast and being a sexy/sexual man. But if it does happen, what's the best way to handle it?
Thanks
This is a hypothetical question that I was thinking about the other day. I have a new rule in my life where I will not commit to a relationship unless we have had sex. Chase's material always says this, and it's something that I've learned through personal experience. So after seeing the shortcomings of non-sex relationships, I made it a new rule of mine for 2014.
The question I have is about when women bring up a relationship. This is the scenario that I think of in my head:
Her: "Are we in a relationship?"
Me: "Well.... not really. I do like you a lot, but I have a simple rule that I follow for relationships now."
Her: "What's that?"
Me: "I won't commit to an exclusive relationship unless me and a woman have been intimate together."
If she asks why, I may go into the "friendzone" thoughts or just leave it vague and say "just from past experience."
The problem I see with this is that it sounds like an ultimatum -- which I guess it is technically. And if she does agree to sex, then she may feel that I indirectly forced her, tricked her, or manipulated her. I'm not sure how to fix that. (And of course, if she says that will never happen before commitment, then sayounara.)
Fortunately, if we're having sex within the first few days, which I will always be pushing for anyway, then this shouldn't be a problem. It would only be a problem with "crazy" girls that want a relationship after just 2-3 dates (without sex).
Still, if you're unable to have sex with a girl until 4 weeks of seeing each other and she's really into and/or has slotted you in the "boyfriend role" instead of the "lover role," this scenario may arise, and I'm wondering the best way to handle it.
I know that I should prevent this at all costs by moving fast and being a sexy/sexual man. But if it does happen, what's the best way to handle it?
Thanks