Making friends with naturals has actually made things much worse for me, advice?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Hi there Girlschase, it is me again, Altair. This is my last thread on concepts before I finally start to write Field Reports and open my own Journal (which I find this site has a section for). Now if you don't remember me, I am the user who came on a week ago saying how he was a 21 year old virgin. Editted post about race because as I looked back pages I saw how there were already threads about it. Now adding new post about having friends that are naturals.

One of the main things I use to describe a natural are good looks, do people around him and society (mainly girls) consider him hot. What I have found is that having friends who are "Naturals" has actually hurt my self-esteem more than helping me. I am constantly thinking these following thoughts:

1. He has the good looks and I don't.
2. He has a lot of experience which I don't.

In my mind I am constantly trying to see myself as a handsome guy that girls fantasize about but when I am hanging out with my friend who is a natural, my self-esteem takes a nosedive because of all the attention he is getting which I am not. Now in the long run this has to an extent made me bitter towards women and in my area (the dixie) I just don't have the kind of look that women find attractive.

I am more exotic looking and latin lover type while my friends who are naturals have the All American countryboy look going for them. Have been told that I am a good looking guy but what I am finding is that the kind of look I have is just not right for my area, hope to find an area where it does get me better results with the kind of girls I like (White girls).

Chase has advocated making friends with naturals but I am finding that this advice just makes things worse for me. I would like to be friends with a guy that doesn't have the looks and has to use his game to attract women because I can be that guy, I can't fit the Abercrombie model look.

 

[Flames]

Re: Making friends with naturals has actually made things much worse for me, adv

I'm going to suggest you look up the post on victim mentality on the main website. As far as I can tell absolutely nothing has changed for you it hasn't got any better, but it certainly hasn't gotten any worse.

There are no quick fixes and it takes as long as it takes. It's directly proportionate to the amount of effort you put into it and by effort I mean working on yourself, removing your flaws (or at least lessening them). Concentrate on your skills and hone yourself into a precision tool.

Go do that for a few years and then come back and say nothing changed.

 

[Zoro]

Re: Making friends with naturals has actually made things much worse for me, adv

Hey Altair,
Welcome!

I'd have to agree with Flames.

Want to point out two things.

For one your attitude is the problem here. So what if your friends look better. I know of dudes who are far from good looking who date and sex very attractive women.

Which goes on to my second point... Your criteria for "naturals" is incomplete. For one being good looking is not even a requirement as long as the man is able to charm the pants off a girl. A natural is a man who knows how to get women swooning over him and take them to bed. A good looking man may or may not be able to do so. Keep that in mind.

Now about your attitude. Women want a man. I just saw a Taiko drumming performance last night and was utterly blown away by the fierceness of the musicians. They were warriors battling the drums in order to conquer the music within. These men were also ripped and train every day to maintain their abilities. I'm sharing this with you to inspire you to unleash the man within you. Being self conscious about yourself around these men is stupid. You are a man as well and every bit as capable of growing into a great man yourself (assuming these men are more than just good looking). This requires dedication and tact but thats what being a man is about

 

[Estate]

Re: Making friends with naturals has actually made things much worse for me, adv

I'm going to take a different route on this because I've seen what the OP has in my past.

There are different types of guys you'll meet:

Naturals
Guys who, regardless of looks, are good with people. No training involved. The very fact that they are naturals and people like them mean that they make people feel good or they offer some sort of value to people, thus they are liked and in demand. You can learn a lot from their general demeanor and how they treat everyone, not just hot women.

Good Looking Guys (Or rich, or famous, or whatever)...
To be honest, these guys are not naturals. I find them quite toxic and draining to be around. Basically this category is for guys who have zero game but compensate in some way, i.e. looks.
Generally since they have it easier to meet women without having much game or social skills, their confidence and arrogance tends to be high. Generally, if they don't perceive you to be on their level, they are not good people to be around. The flip side is... for most "regular" folks, the amount of these we ever encounter are quite slim.

Advanced PUAs
Read, expert level. Generally really good guys. The reason being, they are more like naturals now. They've probably copied naturals to the point that it DOES come natural to them to be good guys. They haven't run a "routine" in years so and generally understand more than anyone else where the newbie is coming from. They can be really good guys.

Delushional PUA
You'll encounter these a lot. They are guys who've read all the material but never approach a girl. Maybe they approach girls but have no idea what they are doing. Maybe they get laid by fatties once in a while but the way they talk, they are playboys. They'll convince you every woman they encounter, begs to get into their pants. Again, usually very arrogant but also very angry, agressive, possessive and on top of all that, really have led sheltered lives, their perception of reality is warped.


Be careful exactly which one of these you encounter.

 

[Flames]

Re: Making friends with naturals has actually made things much worse for me, adv

That's a pretty good summation actually Estate.

The way I approach things I'll go read everything about a subject while actually doing whatever it is I'm doing. I'll go to a relevant forum get some opinions, maybe even give few opinions of my own based on knowledge I've acquired so far, then I'll go off again until I get 'stuck' somewhere else.

I don't understand how anyone can learn anything sat on boards asking question over and over especially when there's so much good stuff already here.