Married Women

[Shotgun Vinny]

Hey guys,

I would like to start out by saying that I am new to the pick-up game, and appreciate all of the insights on the site.

Over the last few weeks, I've been working on getting comfortable doing cold approaches during the day. I'm definitely no Casanova yet, but I've already seen some slight progress in my overall game. One thing I've realized is that I've encountered a fair number of women who are married or engaged. This has been somewhat surprising to me, especially since none of these women were older than 25. I would expect this if I were approaching women who appeared to be in the "MILF" age range, but being a younger, less-experienced guy, I'm trying only to approach those who are closer to my own age.

Is this just something that you encounter when playing the numbers? Since I'm not looking to be a home-wrecker, is there anything that I can do to prevent this, aside from the obvious(checking for a ring, changing venues, etc.)? Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

-Shotgun Vinny

 

[Chase]

Hey Vinny,

Great to see you're getting out and getting some approaching under your belt (and seeing some improvement to boot). On the married women:

Over the last few weeks, I've been working on getting comfortable doing cold approaches during the day. I'm definitely no Casanova yet, but I've already seen some slight progress in my overall game. One thing I've realized is that I've encountered a fair number of women who are married or engaged. This has been somewhat surprising to me, especially since none of these women were older than 25. I would expect this if I were approaching women who appeared to be in the "MILF" age range, but being a younger, less-experienced guy, I'm trying only to approach those who are closer to my own age.

Is this just something that you encounter when playing the numbers? Since I'm not looking to be a home-wrecker, is there anything that I can do to prevent this, aside from the obvious(checking for a ring, changing venues, etc.)? Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

-Shotgun Vinny

Yes, you'll run into anything and everything when you're out and about. Women who tell you they're married and are; women who tell you they're married and aren't; women who don't say anything about married until you've been sleeping with them for weeks or months. There's really no way you can know other than (MAYBE) a ring... and it's maybe because some women who aren't married will wear rings on their wedding fingers to discourage timid men from approaching them, and some women who are married don't wear rings.

Only thing you can do is keep meeting new women, and move on when you find a girl who's not available to you or you prefer not to pursue for personal ethical reasons. And girls married at 25 isn't too uncommon; the average age at first marriage in the United States is around 27 these days for girls, which means around half will be above that and half will be below when they first get hitched.

One thing you can do that'll decrease your chance of running into married women is approaching girls your age in better socioeconomic areas. The poorer women are, the younger the age they tend to marry at (marriage is used for economic stability and support, in this case); whereas women who are better off, more educated, etc., prefer to put marriage off to pursue the freedom of their lives and careers.

Chase

 

[Anonymous]

"One thing you can do that'll decrease your chance of running into married women is approaching girls your age in better socioeconomic areas. The poorer women are, the younger the age they tend to marry at (marriage is used for economic stability and support, in this case); whereas women who are better off, more educated, etc., prefer to put marriage off to pursue the freedom of their lives and careers."

Never thought about this before but it is so true and makes sense now.
Thanks Chase.

Syn

 

[Shotgun Vinny]

Thanks for the response, Chase. I, like Syn2008, never thought about the issue in these terms, either. Along with reducing the odds of coming across married women, I suppose targeting those who are in a better socioeconomic situation will also boost my confidence, considering I do not come from a wealthy background by any means. That's just another thing I love about working on my game: There's always something I can improve.