I'm starting to think that the advice of "don't chase her, just replace her" is kind of b.s. I do that. The problem is that, as a result of not chasing, I just keep replacing women. Which would sound fine, some of you might say, meeting and hooking up with new women often. Sure it's fun for a time, but it's a lot of work. I want to find a girl I actually care about and then keep her around. Is this just the wrong site for that type of material? The stuff on this site 100% works to seduce women and sleep with them. But idk about past that . . . am I maybe being too unattainable? I feel like I have no way of gauging what my problem is in this area. . .any articles that would address this?
You've totally misconstrued what "Don't chase 'em, replace 'em" means here.
No one's saying you can't have a girlfriend, if you meet a girl you like and wanna keep her around do so at your own pleasure.
What Chase and the guys here are teaching is don't chase Girls who aren't receptive to your advances. You move on and find ones that wants to screw your brains out. No need wasting your time on girls that are not responding to your messages and whatnot. That's what don't chase 'em, replace 'em means. Hope that helps.
No one's saying you can't have a girlfriend, if you meet a girl you like and wanna keep her around do so at your own pleasure.
What Chase and the guys here are teaching is don't chase Girls who aren't receptive to your advances. You move on and find ones that wants to screw your brains out. No need wasting your time on girls that are not responding to your messages and whatnot. That's what don't chase 'em, replace 'em means. Hope that helps.
Maxx, I don't think I'm completely miscontruing it
Where I get tripped up is with texting and persisting vs. chasing. In person, I have largely gotten my game down tight. But it's afterwards and over text that I feel like I'm completely out of control. I'll text a girl and get minimal feedback. This will be with girls that really seemed into me. I feel like my only option is to send several texts and pursue more if I want to try to schedule a meet. Maybe I'm doing something wrong and the girl doesn't want to meet back up with me anyways - but in person I'll see a girl that didn't respond to my texts and she's still interested, just won't interact over text.
Where I get tripped up is with texting and persisting vs. chasing. In person, I have largely gotten my game down tight. But it's afterwards and over text that I feel like I'm completely out of control. I'll text a girl and get minimal feedback. This will be with girls that really seemed into me. I feel like my only option is to send several texts and pursue more if I want to try to schedule a meet. Maybe I'm doing something wrong and the girl doesn't want to meet back up with me anyways - but in person I'll see a girl that didn't respond to my texts and she's still interested, just won't interact over text.
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So basically your issue is post-sex retention? Well it's a terribly mixed bag. Plenty of girls only wanted a ONS in the first place. Then again some may auto reject because they know you're a player and they want r/ship. Or even vice versa (AR = attainability issue which is always relative to what the girl wants). Could be a value issue, maybe you were too hasty to set up the next meet? Another interesting phenomenon I have observed (more in nightgame) is girls who like to be in the moment and won't set up dates (particularly if they have a weird schedule, but maybe just quite busy or attached to their routine). But are fine to bang you (I mean they are attracted and interested), if you can pull them from wherever they happen to be. This might account for what you are seeing (unresponsive to text but receptive in person). Or as another possibility your post sex game may be no good, did you send the post-sex text? Anyway if you want retention, most of the heavy lifting should be done during the seduction I feel, building a strong connection and setting the right frames etc.
Ray
Ray
It all really depends on your mindset, on what you want. If your mindset is to sleep with lots of girls, chasing one particular girl is a waste of time. You go for one-two dates, you spent with that girl couple of hours, and then you move on...
On the other hand, if you are looking for more stable relationship, giving up after one-two dates is silly. It doesn't make sense. There are lots of great girls who will not sleep with you until X dates, it is just a number in their mind - all you have to do is keep being persistent, resp. keep showing interest without chasing, without being overly obsessed with that girl... You need lots of patience because it is a battle for days and weeks, not just 3-4 hours... You need strong frame, and each time you want to move further then you were last time... As long as there is a progress and she is going out with you, simply keep going, keep doing the same...
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If she goes for a first date but then she doesn't show more interest, she's not responding, she is flaking - she simply didn't find you attractive enough. Move on, chances are high that you are wasting your time on her...
If she goes for couple of dates and there is no progress - you have to check what do you want with her. Most likely you are hanging too close to a friend zone, if you don't make a move you will become a great friend, but not lover... You are missing actions, you are not leading, she likes you but you are too passive...
If she goes for couple of dates and the progress is there - keep going, don't give up. She is interested, but for whatever reason she has a foot on her breaks. It is what it is, just be patient, keep what you are doing, don't try to change your frame much because you want to be congruent. She likes what she's seeing and what you are doing, there is no reason to change your behavior...
On the other hand, if you are looking for more stable relationship, giving up after one-two dates is silly. It doesn't make sense. There are lots of great girls who will not sleep with you until X dates, it is just a number in their mind - all you have to do is keep being persistent, resp. keep showing interest without chasing, without being overly obsessed with that girl... You need lots of patience because it is a battle for days and weeks, not just 3-4 hours... You need strong frame, and each time you want to move further then you were last time... As long as there is a progress and she is going out with you, simply keep going, keep doing the same...
----
If she goes for a first date but then she doesn't show more interest, she's not responding, she is flaking - she simply didn't find you attractive enough. Move on, chances are high that you are wasting your time on her...
If she goes for couple of dates and there is no progress - you have to check what do you want with her. Most likely you are hanging too close to a friend zone, if you don't make a move you will become a great friend, but not lover... You are missing actions, you are not leading, she likes you but you are too passive...
If she goes for couple of dates and the progress is there - keep going, don't give up. She is interested, but for whatever reason she has a foot on her breaks. It is what it is, just be patient, keep what you are doing, don't try to change your frame much because you want to be congruent. She likes what she's seeing and what you are doing, there is no reason to change your behavior...