MD struggling to disqualify self as BF

[stratman673]

Hello all,
I have general question about disqualifying myself as a BF candidate. I'm a doctor and while I'm not rolling in the dough this definitely lands me in BF or Husband material territory. Lying is a pragmatic solution, but what would be a better solution for when girls ask me what I do? I seem to be stuck in this hole where girls make me wait AGES to even kiss sometimes. I've found myself in an endless string of first dates that go nowhere, and a general reluctance to ask the girl out on a second date because I know where I stand with them already.

 

[Drck]

Simply tell them the truth, LOL. That med education is very expensive, 300K+ and that for most it will take years to pay the loans off. Tell them that medicine is not what it used to be, that you might get reasonable income but much less that current experienced docotrs. This way you are implying that you might be rich one day, but not now... After all, having money should be to your advantage, and not to disadvantage...

Also, build up your sexual value, value as a man, good vibes, genuine interest in her and so on. While some girls are just gold diggers, many rather consider the "whole package", if that makes sense. Money is important, but if a guy has a good vibes and no money girls will go with him, vs guy who has money and not so much vibes...

Another important thing, try not to impress girls with knowledge. They will like you much more if you say simple/silly/funny things vs when you talk dry logic...

 

[Fuck This]

I'm going to say OWN your degree. Tell them that you are a Dr. of Whatever Specialty, at Such and Such Hospital or practice. Damn it you worked hard for that degree and you get a lot of happiness from helping people.

If you aren't going on second dates, you aren't in boyfriend territory bud. You gotta give those girls a reason to want to start sucking your face off. You have to make them FEEL passionate. ON the First date. With confidence. Like Frickin' Dr. Cox who DGAF!

In her mind she should be thinking "OMG this is such an adventure, I want to keep up!"

So make first dates short time frames where she should be grateful you have time to include her.
"Sorry, I just came from the office, and I have to check on a patient tonight at 11." Be courteous but don't waste time or dither. Be decisive.
Offer her your hand / Take her hand the first time as if that is "just what you do". Lead confidently.
Have her take your arm as you walk down the street. Gently guide her with your hand in her back
End on a high note. "I hate to leave now, there is so much more I want to know about you." Make that second date, or have her wait in the car while you go walk around the ER before going to your place to smash. Whatever works...

Just keep the mindset you are in High Demand and convey to her that you are making time to get to know her, and she better make the most of the brief amount of time you have together. Preferably naked, sweaty and breathing heavy....

 

[stratman673]

I'm going to say OWN your degree. Tell them that you are a Dr. of Whatever Specialty, at Such and Such Hospital or practice. Damn it you worked hard for that degree and you get a lot of happiness from helping people.

If you aren't going on second dates, you aren't in boyfriend territory bud. You gotta give those girls a reason to want to start sucking your face off. You have to make them FEEL passionate. ON the First date. With confidence. Like Frickin' Dr. Cox who DGAF!

In her mind she should be thinking "OMG this is such an adventure, I want to keep up!"

So make first dates short time frames where she should be grateful you have time to include her.
"Sorry, I just came from the office, and I have to check on a patient tonight at 11." Be courteous but don't waste time or dither. Be decisive.
Offer her your hand / Take her hand the first time as if that is "just what you do". Lead confidently.
Have her take your arm as you walk down the street. Gently guide her with your hand in her back
End on a high note. "I hate to leave now, there is so much more I want to know about you." Make that second date, or have her wait in the car while you go walk around the ER before going to your place to smash. Whatever works...

Just keep the mindset you are in High Demand and convey to her that you are making time to get to know her, and she better make the most of the brief amount of time you have together. Preferably naked, sweaty and breathing heavy....

Thanks for your input. I guess your right, if I've only gone on one date I'm in no danger of being a boyfriend candidate yet. I've just been there enough times that I can tell when a girl is going to decide to be a prude and make me invest in a provider role before she puts out. Seems to be happening a lot more now that I've graduated. I like your idea of putting time constraints and communicating that my time is of high demand. That's definitely something I will incorporate into my dates.

Idea: What if I wanted to set a strong frame that I'm not interested in proving my value as a provider? What would be a good way of going about this? I'm not particularly experienced at setting frames. I feel like coming right out and saying that I'm not interested in long term commitment seems a little tactless. And I've already gone down the road of cutting contact with girls that don't put out, they never try to recontact me.

Experiment: Out of curiosity I took any and all info of my profession off tinder and am now just a regular old guy. I definitely match with less women and of slightly lower quality, but the ones I match with seem to be more promiscous. I always ask girls "so what are you looking for on here" and when I have MD on my profile they say "DEFINITELY NOT hooking up. looking for something serious" and when my profile is profession-less and mysterious they say something more on the lines of "Just want to meet people and see what happens " Of course I eventually get asked what I do, and I can literally see the girls start acting like angels right before my eyes. I need to figure out another way to disqualify myself as a boyfriend candidate despite my profession. Communicating that I'm not interested in a relationship and want to date lots of women will definitely disqualify me as a BF candiate, but I haven't figured out a smooth way of communicating this that doesn't offend. Sorry that was a little bit of a rant.

 

[stratman673]

Also, build up your sexual value, value as a man, good vibes, genuine interest in her and so on. While some girls are just gold diggers, many rather consider the "whole package", if that makes sense. Money is important, but if a guy has a good vibes and no money girls will go with him, vs guy who has money and not so much vibes...

I think this is great. Guess I gotta sharpen my fundamentals and also hit the gym.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Good thread! I've often wondered how guys with high status careers perform on Tinder and it turns out my suspicions have been correct. Understand that the majority of girls on Tinder are looking for boyfriends, despite it's reputation for being a "hook up app". Career, status, and money rank very high when girls are looking for relationships, hence why you get more matches and with better quality women than when you leave out your career. Girls that are just looking to hook up, rank your sex appeal (looks, body, style) above everything else.

Your plan of attack depends on what your goals are:

If you want a gf, keep your MD status on, and expect to play a bit of a waiting game. Go on a few dates (Still try to get her home on the first date), don't spend much money, and try to get her home and close. You could probably do pretty well with this strategy since not many other guys could compete with your relationship potential.

If you want girls that are open or hoping to hooking up quickly, you need to look the part. That means maxing out your sex appeal and leaving out your MD status.

I always ask girls "so what are you looking for on here"

I notice a lot of guys use this line because it basically screens the girls who are looking to hook up from the ones that are looking to window shop for a boyfriend. It's effective and will save you from going on a ton of "go nowhere" dates, but you will also screen out girls that SAY they are looking for a bf, but would still gladly hook up with you on the first date.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Stratman,

I'm also on a high status career and established in life. I also struggled with the BF status in the beginning. Although I can't get rid of it completely, it gets way much better if you do the following tweaks.

1. Tone down your profession from all your communication. Remove it from your profiles, and if girls ask, have some vague answer like "I have a liberal profession" or "I work in healthcare industry" or whatever
2. Tone down the high status dress code. Dress elegant but not high status. I dropped blasers for leather jackets, sunglasses and Lacoste polos. Nice and simple.
3. And the most important by far: your vibe. Become outcome independent, sexy, aggressive, and move fast. Once you do that, she will be around you not because of your profession, but because you turn her on. It's a very different story.

At the end of the day, it is mostly about what image of yourself you unconsciously project. Once your develop success with women, your vibe will change, girls will seek the sexy man, and your profession will become even less of an issue.

Cheers,
Seppuku