Hello girl bosses! xD i usually visit girlchase.com and i tink its a good website. Well my situation is this. A few weeks from now i get my eyes at a girl in my class.. shes very beautiful (well for me ). Look im honest enough to realize there is a lot of love PUA"s out there in the world so i came here to ask how can i meet a girl in my class? I know it seems to be a simple question but its not so simple. Its not like i enter the class and sit right and her side without even meet her. Well this posts could help at date and meet girls in college ( in this case at the same class)
Meet a Girl in my Class (College)
- Thread starter Raphael
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Hey there. Welcome to the forums.
This post Chase made a little bit ago might help you and add some new perspective.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/cute ... art-dating
Just know that classroom is a whole different ballgame and your game needs to be tight.
Hope this helps.
This post Chase made a little bit ago might help you and add some new perspective.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/cute ... art-dating
Just know that classroom is a whole different ballgame and your game needs to be tight.
Hope this helps.
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- Dec 21, 2012
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In addition to the blog article which is great stuff, I've found that something that works great for me is asking the girl to go out with you and your friends that weekend. I usually like to ask this the first conversation I have with a girl, because I don't see the point in wasting time, and if she likes what she sees and hears out of you, she'll agree, or at least you can get a number out of it (you're getting her number for purposes of hanging out that weekend, so there is an easy reason to ask, yet there isn't as much pressure on her as there would be if you were trying to set up, say, a romantic sunset beach picnic, and remember to ask at a conversational high point).
Of course this is assuming you go out a lot, and if you don't set a sexual frame making it covertly obvious (wonderfully useful oxymoron there) that you are inviting her around so you can show her a good time yourself (rather than a good time in general, I made the mistake of try this way too neutrally the first time and she came out viewing me as a cool friend who then introduced her to my friend, who she then proceeded to fuck (later she told me she would have fucked me over him, but she had absolutely no idea I was interested in her, a problem I used to have frequently)). Horror stories aside, this can be pulled off if presented correctly.
Of course this is assuming you go out a lot, and if you don't set a sexual frame making it covertly obvious (wonderfully useful oxymoron there) that you are inviting her around so you can show her a good time yourself (rather than a good time in general, I made the mistake of try this way too neutrally the first time and she came out viewing me as a cool friend who then introduced her to my friend, who she then proceeded to fuck (later she told me she would have fucked me over him, but she had absolutely no idea I was interested in her, a problem I used to have frequently)). Horror stories aside, this can be pulled off if presented correctly.
Well guys tanks for trying to answer my question but i´ve already seen that post about picking up girls in college, and now i finish read that again but I tink this situation its more complex than the post. Look the thing i want you guys to understand and help me is that I can´t just enter class and sit at her side without even know her, it would be wierd. And i just can´t go and asker out fast.. I need advices about a more progressive way, a way that i feel that would be nice and normal. That my question
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Alright, it would help me help you if I understood why it would be weird for you to sit next to her...is it a small class where everyone is sitting in a pretty regular seat and a deviation from that would be noticed, leading to perceived judgement from others in the class? Has it been months already into the class and if you suddenly started talking to her it would be weird for you? I just can't personally think of a situation where it would ever be weird for me to sit next to someone, unless I had hit them in the face the day before or they happened to be the waitress at a restaurant I dined and dashed at.
Basically my point is, if it is weird for you to approach her, how will you ever get her into a conversation? Are you physically unable to enter her general proximity or do you just not want to? My advice; just talk to her man, it won't be as hard as you think.
Basically my point is, if it is weird for you to approach her, how will you ever get her into a conversation? Are you physically unable to enter her general proximity or do you just not want to? My advice; just talk to her man, it won't be as hard as you think.
Before i reply your answer, i want to thank you for waste your time with me i respect that. But look im in college, almost 100 people in some classes, well yes maybe i have classes with about 20 people, but my point is this, i can talk to girls without fear but its hard when i really "like" the girl, i tink you understand,its a different kind of approach. I can´t just enter class and think this "well that girl i like is alone and her friends are all around in other sits, i will sit next to her" i dont think its a sexy way, maybe im wrong what you think? Everytime i think that kind of approach, i put myself in her position and the normal reaction from the girl is " Well a guy sit around me, i dont know him, never talk to him, this is just weird!! "
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If I can help, then it isn't a waste of my time man I'm glad to help.
I understand exactly where you're coming from. I struggled with approaching for the longest time, especially in the daytime, and in a classroom setting everything you do tends to be under a sort of magnifying glass. However, reading over your posts again, I would also like to know how you came to like this girl if you have never spoken to her. Purely physical attraction? Careful observation? If either of these are the case, why not just game someone else? Why does this particular girl matter? There are billions of them, quite a many of them attractive. If you feel this one isn't worth a perceived risk to approach, drop it and look for another one.
That being said, the point of you posting this post WAS to meet this particular girl, and I'm certainly not here to dissuade you from pursuing her, so here is my advice, broken down as much as possible, and assuming you are a complete stranger to this girl or she only vaguely knows you:
Walking up to a girl you like in front of her friends and striking up a conversation with her with the intention of getting a date with her is difficult, because pulling it off correctly requires very tight fundamentals when in a highly socially charged classroom setting, but it is very possible. However, I would wait for a situation where her friends were not around to talk to her. This is not because it is impossible for you to get her to want to go somewhere with you. This is because at this point if you want to approach her in the actual class, you will either have to:
1. Sit where she usually sits and hope she sits next to you,
2. Sit next to her when she gets there, and open her before her friends get there and say something to make it weird,
*Note, sitting next to her isn't weird in and of itself, but to your credit if the friends get there before you open her, and say or do something to make it SEEM weird for her, she will be MUCH less receptive to you. For example, maybe a dude who usually sits next to her, actually knows her and could like her/be trying to game her as well, sees you in his usual seat and gives her a "what the fuck is this guy doing in my seat, or next to you for that matter?" look when he arrives, which sets a creepy frame for you with ONE look, effectively dealing a huge blow to your chances with her if you haven't opened her yet. Trust me, if he knows her well enough and you don't talk to her before he gets there, this will work for him. This is dirty gaming warfare, (or "strategic cock-blocking", if you will) something I have used before to divert attempts to game a girl I had my eyes on, but am not particularly proud of. Basically, since you cannot rely on her friends to help you ON SIGHT (unless they are all girls, and your social proof at the college is high enough for them to be like "Oh shit, *enter name here* is sitting next to *girl you like*, lets sit somewhere else", you are simply mind-blowingly attractive on sight without speaking to them, or they already know you and know you are attractive), it is much better for you to open her before they show up.
Or lastly,
3. Simply walk up to her with all her friends around before class, which will inevitably involve you openly stating your intentions (think something along the lines of "Hey, I couldn't help but notice how attractive you are, would you want to grab something to eat/grab a coffee/hang out soon/etc"). This just lays everything out on the table, and while this does work sometimes, pulling this off usually requires very tight fundamentals, or high social proof/mind-blowing physical attractiveness, simply because she is forced to make a split second decision about you in front of her friends who she knows will be judging her. If you fail to impress, and she says yes (which she won't unless she is a god damn saint, and there are those girls out there God bless 'um but they are way too few and far between), she has to explain herself to her friends right then. If she says no, her friends will most likely feel bad for you, but congratulate her for dodging the bullet. All of this can be overcome with work, but I would be very confident in your abilities before attempting it this way.
Number 1 is unlikely to lead to positive results because it relies too much on luck.
Number 2 could work, but it would require some luck and precise timing, as well as good opening/conversational skills, and carries the risk of the friends being overbearing enough to actually ask you to move/seeing that the interaction isn't going well and it seems like the girl needs "rescuing", leading to the same result.
Number 3 requires an assload of balls (excuse my unconventional figures of speech) or lots of social proof/physical attractiveness.
Therefore, I recommend that you either do number three in the context of number 2 (state your intentions and ask her out before her friends show up, nail down a date, then get out of dodge) OR "conveniently" run into her somewhere else on campus when she is without company (dining hall lines/library/even walking across campus) and strike up a conversation/ask her out there.
Hope this helps,
Jay
I understand exactly where you're coming from. I struggled with approaching for the longest time, especially in the daytime, and in a classroom setting everything you do tends to be under a sort of magnifying glass. However, reading over your posts again, I would also like to know how you came to like this girl if you have never spoken to her. Purely physical attraction? Careful observation? If either of these are the case, why not just game someone else? Why does this particular girl matter? There are billions of them, quite a many of them attractive. If you feel this one isn't worth a perceived risk to approach, drop it and look for another one.
That being said, the point of you posting this post WAS to meet this particular girl, and I'm certainly not here to dissuade you from pursuing her, so here is my advice, broken down as much as possible, and assuming you are a complete stranger to this girl or she only vaguely knows you:
Walking up to a girl you like in front of her friends and striking up a conversation with her with the intention of getting a date with her is difficult, because pulling it off correctly requires very tight fundamentals when in a highly socially charged classroom setting, but it is very possible. However, I would wait for a situation where her friends were not around to talk to her. This is not because it is impossible for you to get her to want to go somewhere with you. This is because at this point if you want to approach her in the actual class, you will either have to:
1. Sit where she usually sits and hope she sits next to you,
2. Sit next to her when she gets there, and open her before her friends get there and say something to make it weird,
*Note, sitting next to her isn't weird in and of itself, but to your credit if the friends get there before you open her, and say or do something to make it SEEM weird for her, she will be MUCH less receptive to you. For example, maybe a dude who usually sits next to her, actually knows her and could like her/be trying to game her as well, sees you in his usual seat and gives her a "what the fuck is this guy doing in my seat, or next to you for that matter?" look when he arrives, which sets a creepy frame for you with ONE look, effectively dealing a huge blow to your chances with her if you haven't opened her yet. Trust me, if he knows her well enough and you don't talk to her before he gets there, this will work for him. This is dirty gaming warfare, (or "strategic cock-blocking", if you will) something I have used before to divert attempts to game a girl I had my eyes on, but am not particularly proud of. Basically, since you cannot rely on her friends to help you ON SIGHT (unless they are all girls, and your social proof at the college is high enough for them to be like "Oh shit, *enter name here* is sitting next to *girl you like*, lets sit somewhere else", you are simply mind-blowingly attractive on sight without speaking to them, or they already know you and know you are attractive), it is much better for you to open her before they show up.
Or lastly,
3. Simply walk up to her with all her friends around before class, which will inevitably involve you openly stating your intentions (think something along the lines of "Hey, I couldn't help but notice how attractive you are, would you want to grab something to eat/grab a coffee/hang out soon/etc"). This just lays everything out on the table, and while this does work sometimes, pulling this off usually requires very tight fundamentals, or high social proof/mind-blowing physical attractiveness, simply because she is forced to make a split second decision about you in front of her friends who she knows will be judging her. If you fail to impress, and she says yes (which she won't unless she is a god damn saint, and there are those girls out there God bless 'um but they are way too few and far between), she has to explain herself to her friends right then. If she says no, her friends will most likely feel bad for you, but congratulate her for dodging the bullet. All of this can be overcome with work, but I would be very confident in your abilities before attempting it this way.
Number 1 is unlikely to lead to positive results because it relies too much on luck.
Number 2 could work, but it would require some luck and precise timing, as well as good opening/conversational skills, and carries the risk of the friends being overbearing enough to actually ask you to move/seeing that the interaction isn't going well and it seems like the girl needs "rescuing", leading to the same result.
Number 3 requires an assload of balls (excuse my unconventional figures of speech) or lots of social proof/physical attractiveness.
Therefore, I recommend that you either do number three in the context of number 2 (state your intentions and ask her out before her friends show up, nail down a date, then get out of dodge) OR "conveniently" run into her somewhere else on campus when she is without company (dining hall lines/library/even walking across campus) and strike up a conversation/ask her out there.
Hope this helps,
Jay
Jay said:
Arrgh yeah, that happened to me more than once. THE ANGUISH!
Double anguish when they go on to be a total nightmare to the girl and somehow "but he's your friend, and I trust YOU" that's your fault, too! Definitely worth a primal rage-scream over! I am so glad my head is no longer in a place where things like this are going to be an issue ever again!
Wow!! I see you are here to Help Man!! Thanks again 
Look, about the question " Why does this particular girl matter?" I dont have a true answer for you, i think you understand, that i cannot answer why i like this girl, its complex, i think she have a perfect smile, its short, beautiful all the things i like. I just like her and never spoke to her. Of course i know that i can begin to "unlike" her the moment i start know her. But at this point, i just want to meet her, know her. See if im right or wrong. Tell me what you think about this question... Do you think its not weird that i just see her alone in the campus and go close to her and ask Hey im raphael.. lalla you seem to be a cool girl,lets grab some coffe this week..? Because when you wrote "Why dont you game someone else" I want to tell you, that i´ve been with girls, but sometimes there is girls and sometimes there is THE girl, Im not saying that im in love(ok maybe Iam i dont know), the point is i read GirlsChase, i know things that you know too like don´t put girl on pedestals, party with other girls and not just one. Well i do that, but this particularly i can´t. I think the most wise method is look at her alone and talk to her.
I dont know if you will understand maybe my speech its a mess. Tell me!
Look, about the question " Why does this particular girl matter?" I dont have a true answer for you, i think you understand, that i cannot answer why i like this girl, its complex, i think she have a perfect smile, its short, beautiful all the things i like. I just like her and never spoke to her. Of course i know that i can begin to "unlike" her the moment i start know her. But at this point, i just want to meet her, know her. See if im right or wrong. Tell me what you think about this question... Do you think its not weird that i just see her alone in the campus and go close to her and ask Hey im raphael.. lalla you seem to be a cool girl,lets grab some coffe this week..? Because when you wrote "Why dont you game someone else" I want to tell you, that i´ve been with girls, but sometimes there is girls and sometimes there is THE girl, Im not saying that im in love(ok maybe Iam i dont know), the point is i read GirlsChase, i know things that you know too like don´t put girl on pedestals, party with other girls and not just one. Well i do that, but this particularly i can´t. I think the most wise method is look at her alone and talk to her.
I dont know if you will understand maybe my speech its a mess. Tell me!
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- Dec 21, 2012
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- 128
@Loquatious
Yeah man, that shit is the worst.
@Raphael
I understand man. Whatever the reason, you want this girl. And thats fine, you are absolutely right that your best bet would be to get her alone and talk to her, but to accomplish this, you have to actually walk up to her, as uncomfortable as it feels, and talk to her.
As an answer to your first question, no, if you just walked up to her and struck up a conversation, it wouldn't be weird unless you made it weird. If you walk up to her projecting uncomfortable feelings, she will feel uncomfortable as well. However, if you approach her confidently, (not arrogantly, though I get the feeling that aiming for as much of a confident approach as possible and risking seeming a bit overconfident would be better than trying to reign it in and ending up looking meek in your case, so be as sure of yourself as possible; like speaking to you is something all girls want to do, and you have chosen her in particular to be graced with your presence) and just talk to her.
The bottom line is we can talk and talk in circles about how to minimize the risks and maximize your chances of success with this girl, but truly and honestly the simplest way to get her is to just to suck it up, remember to smile, and talk to her. Don't over think it, just do it. I promise you won't regret it, and even if the conversation doesn't go exactly as you wanted it to, it isn't a big deal, you gave it your best shot, and that is all you can ask of yourself. There is no magical series of phrases that will 100% have this girl all over your dick, and no way you can ever get her without any risk of making a mistake. But that is OK. Trust me, if you go up and talk to her, regardless of the results, you will feel much better having tried than you would regretting never making any sort of move on her at all.
Yeah man, that shit is the worst.
@Raphael
I understand man. Whatever the reason, you want this girl. And thats fine, you are absolutely right that your best bet would be to get her alone and talk to her, but to accomplish this, you have to actually walk up to her, as uncomfortable as it feels, and talk to her.
As an answer to your first question, no, if you just walked up to her and struck up a conversation, it wouldn't be weird unless you made it weird. If you walk up to her projecting uncomfortable feelings, she will feel uncomfortable as well. However, if you approach her confidently, (not arrogantly, though I get the feeling that aiming for as much of a confident approach as possible and risking seeming a bit overconfident would be better than trying to reign it in and ending up looking meek in your case, so be as sure of yourself as possible; like speaking to you is something all girls want to do, and you have chosen her in particular to be graced with your presence) and just talk to her.
The bottom line is we can talk and talk in circles about how to minimize the risks and maximize your chances of success with this girl, but truly and honestly the simplest way to get her is to just to suck it up, remember to smile, and talk to her. Don't over think it, just do it. I promise you won't regret it, and even if the conversation doesn't go exactly as you wanted it to, it isn't a big deal, you gave it your best shot, and that is all you can ask of yourself. There is no magical series of phrases that will 100% have this girl all over your dick, and no way you can ever get her without any risk of making a mistake. But that is OK. Trust me, if you go up and talk to her, regardless of the results, you will feel much better having tried than you would regretting never making any sort of move on her at all.
Jay said:
^ very much this. Unfortunately Hollywood and co seem very good at imprinting a meme that reinforces the idea that somehow if you see someone you're really attracted to; you should go all floppy and awkward, and somehow, by the same coin, if they don't make you go all floppy and awkward, they're not worth wasting your time on. It's a learned behavior; now you're aware you've learned it, it's going to become a lot easier to consciously open up a few ports on your firewall and unlearn some of the negative behaviour patterns that have been building up...
Yeah you guys are right. The question here is "How to not be weird and instead be confident?" Of course you can walk straight to a girl in my case a girl of my class, but you need to talk right The difference is if what youre going to talk will be weird or not. By the way tell me what you guys use casually in college ..some expriences
The difference is if what youre going to talk will be weird or not. By the way tell me what you guys use casually in college ..some expriences