Meeting up

[D_Smooth1900]

Ok so I've been talking to a bunch of girls lately and I usually get thier numbers with ease. The problem comes when I ask them to meet up. I'm completely aware that girls flake out all the time but I'm meeting a lot of resistance when it comes to the flaking, I feel like it's my timing or coincidental, I have to ask the gentleman of GC is why is it every time I ask a girl if she would like to get together for dinner or hang out, she always has something else planned.

 

[[GC]Jay]

hey, I'm not an expert and I just recently started out too but here is my thoughts on why girls flake out.

You didn't make enough comfort, you didn't add enough kino escalation.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

I appreciate the reply but honestly, I would think that was the case but I feel like it's not. I see these girls on a daily basis and they always greet me with a warm and welcoming attitude. I think it's my timing, there must be away to make a girl cancel her plans to meet up with you.

 

[[GC]Jay]

I appreciate the reply but honestly, I would think that was the case but I feel like it's not. I see these girls on a daily basis and they always greet me with a warm and welcoming attitude. I think it's my timing, there must be away to make a girl cancel her plans to meet up with you.

Hm, either that or something else. Instead of going out with her...tell her that your coming over to their place.

 

[EdenSerpent]

Jay is right, you should definitely work on comfort regardless of your current situation. You should also consider the possibility that it's easier for these girls to be warm to you because you see them everyday, rather than being dismissive and making it a thing. That's not to discourage you or cast doubt, it's just a possibility. As for the flaking, there's so many possible reasons from nervousness to more important things. It's probably best that you don't try to focus on getting girls to cancel their plans for you, and just focus on a time when you're both free. If other plans come up, she'll cancel them herself if she knows she'll have a better time with you.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

When it comes to the comfort approach. One girl told me that my texting comes off as too aggressive but that I'm a different person in person than in my text, should I change my ways and instead of texting just call people straight up. I know people don't like getting called because it comes off as to strong or needy.

 

[[GC]Jay]

When it comes to the comfort approach. One girl told me that my texting comes off as too aggressive but that I'm a different person in person than in my text, should I change my ways and instead of texting just call people straight up. I know people don't like getting called because it comes off as to strong or needy.

No don't call. If you come up as low energy in person then you should be too during texting, because its weird for girls that you talking to them in low energy or less aggressive in person then becomes too aggressive during texting...that's just weird. I have this same opposite situation where a girl was talking to me normally in person but becomes aggressive during texting and it's weird for me so I have to do some "spank-me-booty-your-a-bad-bad-girl!" whenever I see her.

In my opinion...it is much better that your showing this another way around, be aggressive in person but a gentleman during texting, again this is just my opinion.

And as for the girl cancelling the plan...don't get too deep thinking about it. There must be real reasons why she couldn't come to see you.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

Ok so I'm pretty drunk at this point. , and honestly I appreciate the insight. I ran into a problem during this post which has to do with the girl I'm talking about.
The scenario:
Me: want to go grab dinner
Her: I have this church thing today. I'm sorry
Me: cool I like church mind if I come (I actually hate church)
Her: ok
Me: what time do you wanna meet up
Her: im already here

I ended up not going due to the fact that I didn't have the details. I told her that it's best we meet up whenever she free. I think I should have went to the church to increase my chances with her but she seemed like she was cool with it. Did I mess up or is there still a chance with this one.

 

[Franco]

D_smooth,

Me: want to go grab dinner
Her: I have this church thing today. I'm sorry
Me: cool I like church mind if I come (I actually hate church)
Her: ok
Me: what time do you wanna meet up
Her: im already here

You were totally out-framed here, bud. This is what this interaction looks like without the blindfold on:

Me: Hey, want to go on a date with me?
Her: I'm busy at the moment
Me: Can I just chase you around then?
Her: Sure

Your conversations should look more like this:

You: Hey Ashley, we should grab a drink/coffee together this week . What's your schedule like?
Her: I'm really busy this week with church, so I can't. I'm sorry!
You: No worries. We'll try again some other time

And then you can wait a week or so and try again. Notice that I don't chase her in any form by trying to ask her about her church stuff. She doesn't want to go out with me, so I don't really care what else she has to say.

The other possibility:

You: Hey Ashley, we should grab a drink/coffee together this week . What's your schedule like?
Her: Sounds good! I'm free Thursday night I think
You: Perfect, that works for me. How does 7:30 pm sound?
Her: Works for me
You: Cool, see ya then

Never chase a girl into any of her responsibilities. Your goal is to set up a date on your own terms and get her to comply. You need to be very direct and clear in your texts so that she knows what you want. Using emoticons can also help set the tone as friendly or flirty. Make sure she knows exactly what you want from her.

- Franco

 

[D_Smooth1900]

D_smooth,

Me: want to go grab dinner
Her: I have this church thing today. I'm sorry
Me: cool I like church mind if I come (I actually hate church)
Her: ok
Me: what time do you wanna meet up
Her: im already here

You were totally out-framed here, bud. This is what this interaction looks like without the blindfold on:

Me: Hey, want to go on a date with me?
Her: I'm busy at the moment
Me: Can I just chase you around then?
Her: Sure

Your conversations should look more like this:

You: Hey Ashley, we should grab a drink/coffee together this week . What's your schedule like?
Her: I'm really busy this week with church, so I can't. I'm sorry!
You: No worries. We'll try again some other time

And then you can wait a week or so and try again. Notice that I don't chase her in any form by trying to ask her about her church stuff. She doesn't want to go out with me, so I don't really care what else she has to say.

The other possibility:

You: Hey Ashley, we should grab a drink/coffee together this week . What's your schedule like?
Her: Sounds good! I'm free Thursday night I think
You: Perfect, that works for me. How does 7:30 pm sound?
Her: Works for me
You: Cool, see ya then

Never chase a girl into any of her responsibilities. Your goal is to set up a date on your own terms and get her to comply. You need to be very direct and clear in your texts so that she knows what you want. Using emoticons can also help set the tone as friendly or flirty. Make sure she knows exactly what you want from her.

- Franco

You are completely right in this situation. I felt like I was chasing which was why I didn't attend the church session, I can come off a little needy on my texts, but it's completely different in person. Which is why I need an alternative. Although I feel as if I'm still good due to the fact that I didn't attend the church and instead ask to see her another time. Now for this example if you ask a girl to meet up and you use a little force persuasion in the scenario. Does that come off as needy?

Me: we still good for tonight
Girl: what? Dinner?
Me: yea
Girl: what did you have in mind?
Me:Whatever you want, we got steak, beef, and chicken
Girl:where's dinner I mean lol
Me: out in town unless you wanna eat at the chow hall(our bases cafeteria)
Girl: Oh lol well my friends making me go to the chow hall, so that'd be perfect haha
Me: Tell your friend you rolliing with me tonight, ain't nobody got time for that chow hall food all the time
Girl:Lmao, I really can't spend any money tho, next weekend after we get paid I'll be down to get some food. Plus I'm going on a run then hitting the gym

End of convo

Now I feel like I was in complete control for this one, untill she brought up her money situation, I didn't want to pay for her food so i didn't pursue any longer. Now the difference is that the church girl had something planned, while this one was trying to get last mins plan going.

 

[Franco]

D_Smooth,

Me: we still good for tonight
Girl: what? Dinner?
Me: yea
Girl: what did you have in mind?
Me:Whatever you want, we got steak, beef, and chicken
Girl:where's dinner I mean lol
Me: out in town unless you wanna eat at the chow hall(our bases cafeteria)
Girl: Oh lol well my friends making me go to the chow hall, so that'd be perfect haha
Me: Tell your friend you rolliing with me tonight, ain't nobody got time for that chow hall food all the time
Girl:Lmao, I really can't spend any money tho, next weekend after we get paid I'll be down to get some food. Plus I'm going on a run then hitting the gym

This actually seems like a polite, subtle brush-off for a date to me. Check this out:

Girl: what did you have in mind?
Me:Whatever you want, we got steak, beef, and chicken
Girl:where's dinner I mean lol
Me: out in town unless you wanna eat at the chow hall(our bases cafeteria)
Girl: Oh lol well my friends making me go to the chow hall, so that'd be perfect haha

She specifically said she wanted to go to the place where her friend was going, meaning it won't be a 1-on-1 interaction. That's a subtle way that women avoid putting themselves in situations that they don't want to be in (and in this situation, it was a 1-on-1 dinner with you). She knows her friend will be there, so it will be a "let's-be-friends-in-a-group-meal" type of thing rather than "let's go on a date" type of thing.

Also, you should probably avoid asking girls to dinner if it's a first date. It's a lot of pressure on her. Instead, just ask her for coffee or Golden Spoon/other yogurt places or something along those lines. It's a lot less pressure on her to have to sit through an entire dinner than it is for doing something that is very light and easy.

- Franco

 

[[GC]Jay]

You shouldn't be making an event for her say like going out on a date or going out just to grab a cup of coffee. Instead tell her/ask her to come over to your place and be mundane. There are plenty of things you can do, play poker, play chess, watch movies on your computer or play video games, all that boring (mundane) stuff. Another purpose of this is for you to be able to build comfort, more kino escalation, prove yourself as being that aggressive yet sexy man during texting, more chance for you to f-close her.

Blow it up, have nothing! - the real purpose of making her come over to your place is for you to find out whats going on right now. What I mean is basically your screening her, knowing whether she likes you or not. If she likes you...good! If not...way much better! That way you can move on much earlier because keeping women on reserve and not being able to find out the truth is hurting you.

One thing that needed to be stress out over and over again is that you don't need to go out, you don't need to impress her like the many guys out there who took their time and money with their girls to an expensive dinner date or taking them to watch movies (Even when you can watch them online and in the comfort of your homes and for FREE!) but still not gonna get any!

I might also add that Playing safe...is most guys mistake! They end up losing the girl. It happened to me lots of time in the past, I took them to a dinner dates, I don't escalate and I was always playing-it-safe type of guy, and 99% I lost them without getting a single kiss, nor sex. But I learned and I don't hold back if ever I got the chance of being alone with the girl.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

I just wanna thank everyone who replied back, apparently I have some stuff to work on, I gladly appreciate everyone's insight

Thank you