Men with trauma
- Thread starter Wolfie
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- Oct 21, 2019
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Not all kinds of trauma are attractive, you got to be careful with that.
And when women say they love “broken” men, they actually mean “almost perfect but with one obvious defect that actually makes him attainable”.
Think of the super masculine successful guy who is a hothead or the handsome artist who is brooding for his long lost love.
They want an almost perfect man because they feel there is a chance… like a Ferrari with a dent you get with a substantial discount for, not a beat down Chevy.
For the specific “trauma” traits can be framed as attractive and the right way to do it, look at this:
www.girlschase.com
www.girlschase.com
On a side note, while spinning your “traumatic traits” as Byronic is a good thing to do in a seduction (if you don’t abuse it), you better be careful about identifying yourself with your own defects.
The moment your shortcomings become a fixed part of you, you create walls that are impossible to overcome.
Fight those traumas and beat them. Don’t let them define you.
And when women say they love “broken” men, they actually mean “almost perfect but with one obvious defect that actually makes him attainable”.
Think of the super masculine successful guy who is a hothead or the handsome artist who is brooding for his long lost love.
They want an almost perfect man because they feel there is a chance… like a Ferrari with a dent you get with a substantial discount for, not a beat down Chevy.
For the specific “trauma” traits can be framed as attractive and the right way to do it, look at this:
Tactics Tuesdays: Unmasking Byronic Flaws
Byronic flaws make a man more interesting, and much more bondable in courtships and relationships. Yet there’s an art to revealing them that many men often get wrong... I recently worked with a hard case guy on a repeated relationship problem he has. Periodically, his relationships fail...
www.girlschase.com
Tactics Tuesdays: Spin Your Flaws Into Byronic Flaws
Every man has flaws. However, with a little spin, you can turn ordinary flaws into attractive, Byronic flaws. A commenter on my article “Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others” asks: “How attractive is it when you say that “I’m terrible at getting into deep connections with people, there are...
www.girlschase.com
On a side note, while spinning your “traumatic traits” as Byronic is a good thing to do in a seduction (if you don’t abuse it), you better be careful about identifying yourself with your own defects.
The moment your shortcomings become a fixed part of you, you create walls that are impossible to overcome.
Fight those traumas and beat them. Don’t let them define you.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2022
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- 455
I'm not here to bring a full on critique of the field of psychology, so take or leave as you see fit
I warn any health man of constructing a 'trauma' narrative about his life. maybe most people aren't ready to hear that, and i promise i'm not trying to be insensitive.
but in the absence of meaning in their lives, a person can elect for an identity that isn't entirely tacit yet imposed upon others. sometimes what is chosen isn't helpful or healthy or even wholly in reality.
if you are hurting or need care, certainly attend to that with whatever resources you deem appropriate. certainly take care of yourself.
but i would advise my friends not to become 'dark past' guy or 'wounded guy' simply because their world is sinking another ways. in fact, my suggestion is to affirm ourselves with tangible ways. no written backstory, you are only what you do, what you choose to take action to do now.
not to dig too deeply into the philosophical concept of identity, but maybe there isn't really one, at least in the way we classically think.
I warn any health man of constructing a 'trauma' narrative about his life. maybe most people aren't ready to hear that, and i promise i'm not trying to be insensitive.
but in the absence of meaning in their lives, a person can elect for an identity that isn't entirely tacit yet imposed upon others. sometimes what is chosen isn't helpful or healthy or even wholly in reality.
if you are hurting or need care, certainly attend to that with whatever resources you deem appropriate. certainly take care of yourself.
but i would advise my friends not to become 'dark past' guy or 'wounded guy' simply because their world is sinking another ways. in fact, my suggestion is to affirm ourselves with tangible ways. no written backstory, you are only what you do, what you choose to take action to do now.
not to dig too deeply into the philosophical concept of identity, but maybe there isn't really one, at least in the way we classically think.
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2021
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- 1,603
The frame that 'I'm messed up but girls like that don't they?' is not going to help you in any way. Trauma and psychological disorders are not things that anyone benefits from cultivating intentionally, they are things that you may be able to wear and own if your frame is powerful enough, or they provide a powerful enough benefit in other areas of your life. But to regard them as accessories to attract the opposite sex, that is simply not going to work.
The way you lumped trauma and psychological disorders together, they are not at all the same thing or belong in the same category. The purpose of trauma is to develop you, to force you to rise to an occasion. The effect therefore is a positive one, even though it may come with pain that cannot be fully processed at the time. But it is not in any way a disorder or disfunctionality unless it created pain without any associated positive outcome, in which case the most important thing is not what girls think of it, but how you can learn the lesson it was supposed to teach you.
As for psychological disorders, it depends what you mean exactly, but be careful how you label things, because this becomes your reality. There are many psychological 'disorders' that are dubious at best as to whether they merit being called a 'disorder'.
In my understanding, the guys who are 'messed up' but still get girls, or still perform in some arena exceptionally well, are usually like that because they are able to put together an exceptionally strong frame when they want to, not because the woman is attracted directly to their psychological issues. People who have been through lots of trauma, who have been forced to adapt to difficult situations, sometimes develop an incredibly powerful ability to seize control of their reality and other people's reality, usually for a short time. But the question is, if something is beneficial, why allow it to exist in an unstable form, associated with negative impulses and psychological pain?
The question is always 'does the way my mind works benefit my life consistently and overall?' and if not, work to develop it so that it does.
Often, yes. But healthy women don't love such men because of the problems themselves, but because either 1) it's Byronically attractive (dark mysterious past, duh) and/or 2) because of what the man has done as a result of said trauma or psychological disorder.
By not communicating it directly. You don't need to. Just be attractive in a normal, positive way, and instead of spilling your guts about your past, casually make veiled references to dark mysterious stuff, preferably stuff you've left behind you during your late teens.
Bonus points: Demonstrate a competent and accurate working knowledge of common social, psychological, and psychiatric problems.
Take control of your past and present issues and spin them into Byronic flaws; don't let them control you.
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2019
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- 241
Ive been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff recently which I’ll avoid talking about here but it’s pretty traumatic.
Have I noticed much? Women I think have a natural paternal instinct that kicks into over drive if they see something wounded. I’d imagine most women upon seeing a wounded bird will off of instinct find a shoe box throw some tissue into it and nurse the bird back to health.
I sort of have that, a lot of chicks offering to cook me food, some house chores here and there etc….
I usually like to look at things as what sort of psychological instinct is being bypassed when these things occur? With the psychology it’s the give and take relationship.
I’m doing more taking then I am giving, which isn’t necessarily my style. Never been much of a free loader and I’m not a fan of fucking women in a one sided relationship.
Hope this helps
MuStO
P.S: Add on
Use to be a poster on Sedfast called Ijjji who’d use picture boards to explain what he was attempting or was pulling off when he was doing seduction.
One of his boards had a deer with eyes in the headlights, if I remember it right was part of his “Omega” game. You trade off the masculinity alpha portion of game for a white dress shirt vulnerable style. *[Young Leo Di Caprio mixed with a Paris from Troy type of vibe]
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