Mentioning other girls I'm currently seeing

[Toby2030]

What's your experience sharing information about current girls you are seeing with another girl? eg. sex talk based on encounters from situationships, fwbs or similar that you are currently seeing?

This is normally something I try to stay away from and have had mixed results with previously. What's your experience here?

 

[ulrich]

In my experience, it is better to always keep a certain discretion/mystery.
Particularly for FWBs, you may be borderline attainable so making clear you’re seeing someone else can be the thing that sours the relationship and makes the girl decide to stop seeing you.

You can imply you’re seeing other girls… but I would advice against making it clear that you’re doing so.

She needs to feel she can get you eventually.

 

[topcat]

I would steer clear of doing so. It’s better to have her wonder if you might have other girls, than to rub it in her face. From experience (and this often happens without me saying it but from pure context of an open relationship anyway..) they’ll start playing jealousy games to maintain their own esteem and level the playing field. This gets annoying as fuck.

 

[Michael Chief]

There are a lot of dimensions to discuss about this.

First, communicating/subcommunicating your safer sex practices will make seduction easier for you. Vin DiCarlo had a method back in the day he called "Objection Game" where one of the tactics was to talk about how you always use a condom, or that you think it's absolutely insane that someone you know was talking about not using a condom. This will make women more willing to have sex with you.

Second, you want it to be known that you are a guy who can keep secrets, that you're not going to brag to others about how to slept with this girl or that girl. That way she knows her reputation can still be intact if she sleeps with you. So you certainly shouldn't go into detail. You'll want to either deny having done anything sexual with the person you're talking about, or protect the person's identity altogether, or both. Even if it's obvious that something did happen.

Third, preselection. With the above in mind, how can you effectively still utilize preselection? There are various ways to pull this off. You could find a middle ground where you tactfully communicate vague things about having other sexual encounters, or you could even masterfully utilize the paradox of desire by actively avoiding and running away from preselection, letting preselection chase you and find you (if you get it, you get it).

Then there is the dimension of whether or not you're already in a consensually non-monogamous situation with the women you're talking to, which actually makes things clearer and easier to work with if you are since you can discuss what you're comfortable sharing with each other like mature adults. But then it opens a whole 'nother discussion of various other dimensions.