I met this girl on a bus ride. I was feeling good, moral was high, clothes were good and fresh. She was short white girl, around 21, wearing white shirts, blue jeans and sandals. When she enters the bus, I immediately saw her using peripheral vision. She sat behind me first, and then as the bus was a little crowded, I needed to get up and move to make rooms for other passengers to exit the bus. This gave her more opportunity to evaluate me, so I thought that preopening was okay. Next, as I sat on a new seat near the window, there was no more seats available so she was forced to take the one next to me.
I open her by pretending to not know where the next bus stop was, using a carefully prepared voice. After she gave me the answer, I pause a little bit and then asked her where she is going (opener recommended on this article). It's the first time that I try that question. I thought it was lame but she reacted with a smile. Then I played my usual game: questions, statements, tease, etc. She seems to be really exited, smiling, sometimes almost laughing at every sentence I said.
Everything was fine until it was time to ask for her number. The sequence that ruined it all: My bus stop was getting very close and I still didn't know how to ask her out. Here's the interaction:
- "Would you like to go out sometimes ?" (clearly a forced attempt, but I thought that she was super interested so I can get away with a "minor" mistake)
- I don't go out often. (still smiling)
- Really ? ... (Not knowing what to do)
- I usually stays at home with my sister (A potential conversation thread that I missed!)
- I thought we could go grab a bite or something!
- ...
- Here's my bus stop. It was fun talking to you.
- Bye
- Bye
Here's the positive:
- Voice, fashion, general presentation, mood
- Preopening
- Try new things. I thought the opener was weak, but she thought otherwise!
In hindsight, here's my mistakes:
- I was not prepared to close. I didn't know how to ask her out.
- I was in a hurry so I panicked a little bit.
- I missed an opportunity to deep dive or to go to another conversation thread
- I could have lie about my destination and get out a little further in order to continue the conversation
- Maybe it was all just random reaction from her (related to the reaction vs result)
I have some questions:
- How do you guys would ask her out in this situation? I understand that I need something more natural like: "I get out on the next stop. It was fun talking to you and I would like to continue this conversation on another day." But I don't know how to phrase the request.
I open her by pretending to not know where the next bus stop was, using a carefully prepared voice. After she gave me the answer, I pause a little bit and then asked her where she is going (opener recommended on this article). It's the first time that I try that question. I thought it was lame but she reacted with a smile. Then I played my usual game: questions, statements, tease, etc. She seems to be really exited, smiling, sometimes almost laughing at every sentence I said.
Everything was fine until it was time to ask for her number. The sequence that ruined it all: My bus stop was getting very close and I still didn't know how to ask her out. Here's the interaction:
- "Would you like to go out sometimes ?" (clearly a forced attempt, but I thought that she was super interested so I can get away with a "minor" mistake)
- I don't go out often. (still smiling)
- Really ? ... (Not knowing what to do)
- I usually stays at home with my sister (A potential conversation thread that I missed!)
- I thought we could go grab a bite or something!
- ...
- Here's my bus stop. It was fun talking to you.
- Bye
- Bye
Here's the positive:
- Voice, fashion, general presentation, mood
- Preopening
- Try new things. I thought the opener was weak, but she thought otherwise!
In hindsight, here's my mistakes:
- I was not prepared to close. I didn't know how to ask her out.
- I was in a hurry so I panicked a little bit.
- I missed an opportunity to deep dive or to go to another conversation thread
- I could have lie about my destination and get out a little further in order to continue the conversation
- Maybe it was all just random reaction from her (related to the reaction vs result)
I have some questions:
- How do you guys would ask her out in this situation? I understand that I need something more natural like: "I get out on the next stop. It was fun talking to you and I would like to continue this conversation on another day." But I don't know how to phrase the request.
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