Met a girl we kissed but I ended the date

[LetsGetThis]

Backstory:
So, first of all, this girl likes me. And she’s been obvious about it for quite some time.
I decided to get an hotel 1:30 hours from there and meet up with her saying I was there for work reasons.
We’re both pretty rich and she knows I’m high status/fame guy.
She traveled 1:30 hours to get to me.
We took the cab and went to a small vegan cafe.
She was giving me these looks the whole time. I touched her “accidentally” etc did everything as intended
She was very much receptive.
We then went back to the hotel, in the lounge.
I deep dived, we kissed.
After that, is where I started to f**k up.

The tea:

First of all, I assumed she’s a virgin in my mind. So I didn’t wanna have sex on the first date.
Doing sex talk, she told me she is not a virgin. (She had sex with her previous boyfriend, and recently broke up)

I told her I have gift for her in my room, but I also said “she can’t come inside my room”
I told her this in order to make her receptive to going up with me and not think I want to fuck her on the first date.
We went up, and I took the gift from my room. It was a cheap bracelet in her favorite color.
She was happy, and I told her she could take a quick look inside the room anyways.
She saw the room (a suite), and then I offered her a glass water.
She refused, and then started explaining how she should probably go as it’s getting late and she
wants to be home early otherwise her mother would be suspicious.
(This was an excuse, she could’ve easily stayed 1 more hour, she just sees me as BF material & doesn’t wanna go too fast)
I didn’t push forward. I said it’s no big deal, we’ll meet tomorrow. And kissed her goodbye.

My question:
I have no problem becoming her BF, but obv the best way, is to have sex with her.

She knows I’m staying one more night.
We already pre-planned a second date before meeting up.
But here’s the problem : It’s with her girl friend.

How should I act now? Should I cancel the second meeting?
Should I try to get her alone during the second meeting? That will be hard.
I can’t find anything on this and really need advice.

 

[JacobPalmer]

Personally, I'd cancel. It'll be a waste of your time for the second date. And just be honest with her - you don't want to spend your time with her friend, you want to spend it with her.

Yes try to get her alone again. Start at your place, have a glass of wine/dessert etc, then go out, because then she'll feel more comfortable going back to yours if she's already been there that night.

 

[LetsGetThis]

Personally, I'd cancel. It'll be a waste of your time for the second date. And just be honest with her - you don't want to spend your time with her friend, you want to spend it with her.

Yes try to get her alone again. Start at your place, have a glass of wine/dessert etc, then go out, because then she'll feel more comfortable going back to yours if she's already been there that night.

She already was in here so she should be more comfortable coming to my room again in the future
This is the last day in the hotel, so not sure how I can fix the situation.
Ask her to meet me alone instead? Her friend won’t be happy. (They’re best friends since 10 years)
Or meet her friend, then get her alone somehow?

 

[sumwunimetonce]

Are you from the US ? You guys always seem to have crazy logistics !!

First, is her friend un-ditachable ??

Like is her friend also coming from a long way out so her going home alone will be totally weird and in the girls heads they will be returning home together.

If so then things will be very tricky, certainly for safety reasons these girls will plan to stick together, investigate the logistics, how much are cabs, can you pay, what about other places and hotels her friend can stay ... P-P-P-P-P-P as they say in the military. Depending on what these logistics are bring them up early in the night so if and when the times comes to get rid of friend then the discussion on how she gets home or where she stays is taken care of.

If not then you could seed with the girl that you want to spend the first part of the night as group but have a plan to do something with only her for the latter part of the date, maybe think of something that would be better for just 2 people thats more romantic and tell her this in advance.

Or if you are a total vibe machine when you go out, get into sets with some guys, then get the friend flirting with them, spend some time of the night trying to find her a guy, you go open sets ... will make you look cool and get rid of her. Even if you have not done this before, you could give it a go ... I remember the RSD guys had loads of material about just being a fun fucking guy, maybe keep the lay in the back of your mind but go out and have fun with these girls, flirt with another girl, play air hockey ... skinny dip but have fun ... if it happens it happens, put some moves on her but do not make it the goal of the night, that way you cannot fail (but you still did all you can)

Other thing to consider is what have you got to lose, if you will not see her for ages then maybe just go for it despite the odds being stacked against you.

If you can see her again easily then you need to think of a good reason to cancel so you do not lose face and look like a pussy. If its obvious that you cancelled because her friend would be there then it may look like you only want to get in her pants and not just spend time with her which might mean a harder time getting the next date.

Good luck, keep us posted.

 

[LetsGetThis]

Are you from the US ? You guys always seem to have crazy logistics !!

First, is her friend un-ditachable ??

Like is her friend also coming from a long way out so her going home alone will be totally weird and in the girls heads they will be returning home together.

If so then things will be very tricky, certainly for safety reasons these girls will plan to stick together, investigate the logistics, how much are cabs, can you pay, what about other places and hotels her friend can stay ... P-P-P-P-P-P as they say in the military. Depending on what these logistics are bring them up early in the night so if and when the times comes to get rid of friend then the discussion on how she gets home or where she stays is taken care of.

If not then you could seed with the girl that you want to spend the first part of the night as group but have a plan to do something with only her for the latter part of the date, maybe think of something that would be better for just 2 people thats more romantic and tell her this in advance.

Or if you are a total vibe machine when you go out, get into sets with some guys, then get the friend flirting with them, spend some time of the night trying to find her a guy, you go open sets ... will make you look cool and get rid of her. Even if you have not done this before, you could give it a go ... I remember the RSD guys had loads of material about just being a fun fucking guy, maybe keep the lay in the back of your mind but go out and have fun with these girls, flirt with another girl, play air hockey ... skinny dip but have fun ... if it happens it happens, put some moves on her but do not make it the goal of the night, that way you cannot fail (but you still did all you can)

Other thing to consider is what have you got to lose, if you will not see her for ages then maybe just go for it despite the odds being stacked against you.

If you can see her again easily then you need to think of a good reason to cancel so you do not lose face and look like a pussy. If its obvious that you cancelled because her friend would be there then it may look like you only want to get in her pants and not just spend time with her which might mean a harder time getting the next date.

Good luck, keep us posted.

Okay, she cancelled the “second meeting”
I’m from the EU
The Train which she uses to come here, is under maintenance.
I checked it online, and she isn’t lying. She has no way to get to me

I hope she doesn’t backward rationalize and says “oh well, destiny didn’t want us together” or something like that

Where do I go from here?
I just wrote her “ah, bummer :/“

She knows I’ll leave the hotel tomorrow
Technically I could easily get an airbnb in her city, but I don’t wanna come across as needy.
Any advice?

 

[sumwunimetonce]

Fuck !! Same thing recently happened to me, first date did not go amazing then we set up a second date.

She texts saying her Grandmother is really sick and needs to go spend a week with her (she is telling me to leave her alone)!!!!

I have decided to back of a little, very short text like yours, game as many other girls as possible (I really like this one), try to get an abundant mindset, not be needy and hopefully it will work out.

I am not sure what else you can do really, my guess would be you have lowered your value slightly with her (maybe) by trying and expecting for something that you did not get (and possibly were never going to get) on the first date. Thats at least what I did.

So issues could be either expectation of what you should get OR execution or lack of it (ie game) ... or BOTH

So all i can advise is do what I am doing, engineer a trip to her city for whatever reason, festival, trip with friends, but not specifically to see her. If she is not into you she will magically not make herself available, be prepared for this, you can go out looking for other girls in this case. If she is available you have another chance.

Other members may have better advice than this.

 

[LetsGetThis]

Last Update:
It’s over.
I just wrote her one text after she cancelled the second meeting due to the train maintenance.
“Good news - I can come over to your town and stay a few more days. Meet up tomorrow sounds good?”

She didn’t respond, for what felt like ages. She is deliberately playing games.
Now she responded “nope, she doesn’t have time and not even the next days.”
Aka, rejected.

Rip.

 

[sumwunimetonce]

Pushed to hard, should have backed off.

I think there is a GC article that says after a failed seduction you need to back off and come back when you have higher value and can display social proof.

You communicated that you were desperate for the lay ... I think you should be communicating you want to have fun and she can come along for the ride.

 

[JacobPalmer]

Ok everyone, no, she's no playing games. You were. You didn't want to sleep with her on the first date, but was she ready? If so and you rejected her, then that's your fault. Also, you were leaving in a few days but played everything off as if you had all the time in the world. So no, you should have pushed when you had the chance a.k.a. when you were with her in your room.

And honestly, why would she care that much if you're leaving in a few days. It sounds to me like she initially was really invested but then cooled off as the date went on. I mean , she traveled 1.5 hours to get to you. So it sounds like somewhere on the date you either moved to slow or something went wrong during the date.

 

[LetsGetThis]

Ok everyone, no, she's no playing games. You were. You didn't want to sleep with her on the first date, but was she ready? If so and you rejected her, then that's your fault. Also, you were leaving in a few days but played everything off as if you had all the time in the world. So no, you should have pushed when you had the chance a.k.a. when you were with her in your room.

And honestly, why would she care that much if you're leaving in a few days. It sounds to me like she initially was really invested but then cooled off as the date went on. I mean , she traveled 1.5 hours to get to you. So it sounds like somewhere on the date you either moved to slow or something went wrong during the date.

You are 100% correct. I didn’t give her sex when she was pretty ready, because I didn’t want to.
She said she ‘probably needs to go’ and I just let her off, without even giving resistance.

But again, she was still game for date 2, but something unsurmountable came in between as I mentioned.
I assume attraction is dropping every day I’m not meeting her. She has a lot of other guys she talks to (white knights) who give her emotional support.

To update on things:
After she wrote me the text that she doesn’t have time, so I thought it was over, she asked me again how long I am staying. What??
I told her I’m gone, but might could visit her again sometime soon because I‘ll go there to get some changes to my bank account. She’s not-blue-ticking my texts again, so again playing games. She comes online, but deliberately doesn’t give me blue ticks as in ‘read’. She mostly always replies at 1 PM-3 PM. Even though she’s online 24/7.
I know I fucked up the first date, but she’s acting insane. Do I have to show I’m with other girls to stop her playing these games? I assume she’s hurt/disappointed, since she’s acting pretty cold to me.
People in our social circle are also telling me she is shit-talking me saying “I’m weird” and “too thin”, (which I’m not), I assume backward realization and/or resentment?

 

[sumwunimetonce]

In a word, yes, you need to show your higher value, more importantly you yourself need to learn a lesson from this, get more experience and abundance and feel internally you are higher value. Only then is she worth revisiting.

What do think it would take for you to feel different about yourself so that your next interaction with her is different ? If its 2 lays then get 2 lays before you message her again (or message her anything more than short reply’s) Until then play the long game with her.

Good Luck