" met someone"

[themainattraction]

I Met a girl dancing about a month and a half ago. She had just broke up with her boyfriend and I still was in joboisition to be in a relationship, so I figured we could just be fwb.

I stay over a few times, we hook up, eat, watch movies. Cute stuff. She was a virgin and was very adamant about waiting til marriage, and honestly I felt that I wasn't gonna take that from her unless I could commit to her in a relationship. And I was the only guy she'd ever take home who wasn't her bf.

Amdist texting banter a couple days ago she mentions she met someone. I try to play it cool. She was leaving this morning for the weekend, so after we danced last night i said let's hang out til you leave, since I'd slept over on another occasion when she was leaving for the weekend.

Then she gives me what I'd call a pity smile, slowly shakes her head and says no. I didn't expect that at all, so I repeat no? She confirms no. I say bye and she leaves.

Now, this girl was smart, witty, cute, and a good dancer. I liked her a bit more than a friend (not enough to commit tho), and I'd like to keep an interaction going. And I'd be damned if I let some guy she met win (he lives like 3000 miles away).

I'm thinking that she rebounded, and that was that. She doesn't need me anymore. But the thing is we never connected deeply, and she actually made a reference once to wanting to know what's inside my head. I have difficulty opening up to girls who aren't best friends.

So while I provided her with fun and hook ups as far as we could go, I remained in the lover category. She's the long-term relationship type and I suppose was looking for something more. And I know she thinks I have super high value, but the provider factors were missing.

Not an urgent thing, but any advice on the situation would be appreciated. Again I don't want her as a gf but I do want to casually date. Judging from the type of person she is, she wants a relationship. Just not with me.

I was thinking just as usual, dancing with her this weekend but a lot more deep diving to build a connection. Thats what was lacking. And if she refuses to let me come over well...haven't thought that far

Thanks!

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Im guessing she is giving you the ultimatum either commit to the relationship or she has someone else waiting which she may not necessarily like better but is willing to make the commitment and give her the security she craves.

Anyways I think you have three options you can either cut her lose, just stay friends (get stuck in her friends zone) but could be used to for Abundance mentality (not sure if this is the right terminology ). And lastly you can decide this girl is fun to hang with and you would mind seeing where this would go and make the bold move go to her house walk in strong manly looking being all dominant and handle kiss her and say you want to be with her (this is where the firecrackers go off and the party poppers).

This option is highly unlikely to work for you and that is trying to keep her as a friend with benefits cause it probably won't work out if she does get a boyfriend and things will get messy and some guy is going to see there in the corner shouting out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY

PS. i really wanted to post that youtube link and i thought i better not post it on a field report cause thats like kicking a man while he is down

 

[Franco]

TMA,

I stay over a few times, we hook up, eat, watch movies. Cute stuff. She was a virgin and was very adamant about waiting til marriage, and honestly I felt that I wasn't gonna take that from her unless I could commit to her in a relationship. And I was the only guy she'd ever take home who wasn't her bf.

This part is confusing. You mentioned that you hooked up, but then you said you never took her virginity. As far as I'm concerned (and this website is concerned), "hooking up" is intercourse. Making out is entirely different (if that's what you were referring to).

If you didn't sleep with her and you don't want to commit to her, then you really have no control over this relationship. I would cut ties with her as this will only lead to you chasing something that she doesn't want to give you.

- Franco

 

[themainattraction]

Oh sorry Franco, we went as far as oral sex on both ends but nothing else. I'll keep keep that definition in mind.
But yeah, that seems the best thing to do. But of course after she tells me that my brain finds a way to convince me that I actually wanted a relationship with her. I just gotta force myself not to chase now. If she comes around for whatever reason, cool.

Thanks!