- Joined
- Jul 6, 2014
- Messages
- 494
Background
I was out with @Devilicious practicing my more expressive, warmer approach, which is something Dev was giving me feedback on the day before. This felt like the first day it was actually starting to click.
We were in a kind of deserted area and it didn’t seem like much volume. We even walked through a whole stretch of highway, barren. Looked dubious. We ended up standing around a corner just chilling.
Then I spot a cutie with a nice tush. She did seem a little bit older than me though. I stop her and deliver my opener warmly. She immediately gives me this mischievous look, curious.
First thing I tease her about is her name tag she’s still wearing it. Turns out she’s coming back from the office or on lunch break. She keeps giving me that mischievous look and looking at me as if she wanted to say something, so I smirk at her and go:
What
Her: “you’re cute
”Me: “well you’re cute too
”We talk a little bit more and she has to go to work, when I add her contact to my messenger, I notice she has her as profile as HerName #1.
Me: “I’m gonna keep it like this. You can be [HerName] #1 in my heart.”
She laughs and we go off on our merry ways.
The Unsent Message
Later, she texts me apologizing for leaving, saying:
“I was so shocked by your passionate approach… sorry I had to go to work.”
I don’t reply right away. Twenty minutes later, I notice she’s unsent the message. I reply to it anyway telling her “Yeah, I’m a passionate man” and Dev advised even adding a "and I'm curious about you" which probably helped to give her more comfort.
She also asks where I’m staying in the city, so I tell her and move straight to scheduling. She’s only free late Thursday night. Unfortunately I already had another girl booked for Thursday. So I asked her if any time Friday works. She offers Friday lunch, but I had other plans then.
Ruthless Jaunt Time Management
Something Dev and I have been experimenting with on jaunts is being ruthless about which girls you actually invest date or instant date time into. If the vibe isn’t strong or logistics feel shaky, we’ve been prioritizing finding other leads instead. The opportunity cost is something to consider because a date can easily take two hours, plus the mental energy before and after. On a short trip, that same window might be better spent approaching and meeting an actually strong lead, which we very feasibly could.
In my home city, with no time crunch, I think it makes sense to go on as many dates or instant dates as I can, as it's higher odds overall and probably gives richer learnings. But on a jaunt, we were thinking that burning two prime hours on a lukewarm lead can be a bad trade.
So a couple of red flags we’ve noticed:
She tries to dictate where to meet.
You have to ping or finesse the texting too much just to get her out
Generally any big signs of non-compliance.
It’s not about only screening for DTF girls there’s nuance, and exceptions but this “time ruthlessness” rule of thumb is something I've been field testing more on jaunts.
So given that…
Friday lunch didn’t feel worth it. She would likely be on a time crunch and there were other things I wanted to do during that time. I tried locking Thursday 6 PM so I could double-stack with the other girl later, but she couldn’t do that and she didn't even respond. I actually did ping her on Wednesday because I was like…she seemed interested and might as well (hence the nuance). She said she could only do Thursday late at night, so I decided to shift the other girl to Friday night because the other girl was actually giving less dtf vibes (the other girl had told me she was free after 10:30 but couldn't stay long. Tbh it's also possible the other girl could've also been down for an instant pull but I have no idea and that's a story for another time. i just didn't feel the vibe was as strong) so I set this girl for Thursday and the other for Friday night.
The Date
We plan for 9 PM. At 8:30 she texts she’s already there. I ask if she wants to meet now and she says yes. She explains she drove fast to get there on time (good sign). She’s in a white dress, looking very cute. Greeted her with a hug but she didn’t exactly melt into it, but kept those mischievous doe eyes on me.
Walking over she tells me she didn't come to this part of the city much so, I tease:
“oh you only come to my part of town when a cute guy invites you, huh?”
Shes like yeah hahaha. I find she’s pretty busy with work and doesn't have time for much these days
Me: “So work is your boyfriend, huh?”
We get near the café, and I lead her in by the hand. She just takes my hand naturally. At the counter, she speaks to the barista in Chinese and pays for both drinks. We sit, hold hands periodically.
At one point I think we were talking about traveling and I said how I don't mind traveling alone and just planning things. She says
"That’s because you’re a man"
and takes my hand again. Later she calls me “cute and fun,” and I qualify her back.
The Pull+Sex
She points out a sweetened milk shop outside the window that she knows is good. After finishing our tea, I suggest we check it out and walk out, she's holding my arm. But when we near it, she doesn’t make any move to actually go in, so I keep walking toward my place.
After a couple navigation mistakes (she teases me about being lost), we pass a 7-Eleven I take her there to ‘grab snacks and Airbnb is right there’ She just nods.
First thing inside, she asks if she can shower.
She says she’d been at the beach and was sweaty.
While she’s in the shower, I put on a sex playlist. Pony by Ginuwine comes on. She comes out and says:
“You’re supposed to be dancing to that song.”
She sits next to me, asks if I have a condom. From there, slow kissing into sex.
Sex was solid. I dirty-talked her but she didn't respond. she later was like “btw sorry I didn't say anything, I was too focused on sensations to respond”
Around 10:30 she checks her watch — she has work at 6 AM. I walk her to
where she parked.
When she gets home, she texts:
“Thank u for good sex and language exchange
good night!”
